Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Does confessing a sin affect repentance?

repent forgive repenting

Salam all, I have been in a state of depression for the past couple of years due to a sin that I comitted when I was around 12/13 years old. Years have now passed by but I am still haunted by it. I decided to change my lifestyle around recently for the past 3 weeks or so, and it was going fine , I was feeling closer to Islam , my prayers felt rewarding and different, however now I am again in a state of no hope.

When I done the sin, I could not cope with myself and didn't know who to turn to and needed advice. I told my mother about it and she gave me advice and told me not to tell anyone else. However after having repented and 4I now have come to realise that she told my elder sibling of it .

I didn't know before about how to repent, ie you are not meant to tell anyone of your sins, but I'm wondering if my repentance is void because I told someone?


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5 Responses »

  1. Dear Writer,

    You are right, we must conceal our sins. It is always best to conceal sins, but you were young, only 12, 13 years of age. You confided in your mother, perhaps because you needed her help, there is nothing wrong with this. She gave you advice too and that helped you :O). Just do not tell anyone else. And if you feel bad for telling your mother, (although I do not think you should feel bad, especially since you were so young), then repent for that and then move on.

    Allah promises to forgive us if we repent sincerely, so the least we can do is accept this beautiful gift from Allah and find peace in it.

    Dear Write, its ok. Allah forgives all sins if we repent sincerely. Don't waste anymore of your life worrying about this. Let Allah's words promise fill your heart with serenity, where He(swt) says: "Say: “O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

    SisterZ Editor

  2. Assalam o alikum,

    "If anyone does evil or wrongs his how soul but afterwords seeks Allaah's forgivness, he will find Allaah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
    Surah An-Nisaa 4:110

    "Allaah does not forgive (the sin of) joining other gods with Him; but He forgives whom He pleases other sins then this: one who joins other gods with Allaah, has strayed far, far away (from the Right)."
    Surah An-Nisaa 4:116

    "But, without doubt, I am (also) He that forgives again and again, to those who repent, believe, and do right, - who, in fine, are ready to receive true guidance."
    Surah Ta-ha 20:82

    "Your Lord knows best what is in your hearts: if you do deeds of righteouness, verily He is Most Forgiving to those who turn to Him again and again."
    Surah Al-Israa 17:25

    "When you read the Qur'an, seek Allaah's protection from Satan the Rejected One. He does not have any authority over those who believe and put their trust in their Lord."
    Surah Al-Nahl 16:98-99

    All your answers are in the Qur'an Subhanallah.
    The more you read it the more at peace you'll be InshaAllaah.

    Khuda Hafiz

    Sister Hafsah

  3. Assalamu alikum
    dear writer,
    you should ask allah for forgivness and i am sure that he will forgive you because he is most merciful


  4. In the religion of Islam nobody has the permission to disclose their sins (small or big) and unveil their secrets to anybody. The reason why is, to begin with, man’s honor and respect is so valued and significant he should only confess to his lord as a gesture of repentance and asking for forgiveness, for one will only obtain more respect and honor when he confesses to Allah.

  5. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    No, your repentance is not void if you told anyone. You aren't supposed to tell anyone and that is a severe thing itself, however what you need to do is repent for that and not repeat it. Whenever you commit a sin in the future, repent from it and don't tell anyone.

    It is the people who constantly open up about their sins that are in trouble. It is possible that everyone will be forgiven among this ummah except them. Those ones are in real trouble. However, they are described as a people who do this to such an extent that it becomes part of their character.

    Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.95 Narrated by Abu Huraira
    I heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the ‘Mujahirin’ (those who commit a sin openly or disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, 'O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,' though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knew of the sin except the one who committed it and Allah) and in the morning he removes Allah's screen from himself."

    Notice how the Prophet sallahualayhiwasalam mentioned them in terms of who they are? This isn't a one time thing. He doesn't mention what they did, but who they are. He then gave a description of an example of what they do. He didn't say, "everyone will be forgiven except someone who disclosed a sin" but he mentioned them in the noun form. This is an interesting nuance in the Arabic language.

    For example, Allah mentioned "those who believed" in the Quran and he mentions "the believers." You would think they are they same but they aren't. The believers(AlMumineen) are never condemned in the Quran however "those who believed" sometimes are. That is because the noun is stronger than the verb-it indicates that this is the way a group of people are. It's not just something they did a bunch of times. It's in their character. It's who they are.

    I learnt that from Nouman Ali Khan.
    Even if you were among the "mujahirin", and you certainly are not, you could simply repent and be a shy Muslim again. Just like many sahaba were Mushrikeen before Islam, and Allah promised to never forgive the mushrikeen, however the Sahaba stopped being Muhrikeen before the time limit ended. They became Muslim and died as Muslims.

    Now you have the chance to become righteous and die that way. And that's the way to go. You had better not despair of the mercy of Allah. If you do, you are committing a major sin of disobedience to Allah.

    ﴿قُلْ يعِبَادِىَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُواْ عَلَى أَنفُسِهِمْ لاَ تَقْنَطُواْ مِن رَّحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعاً إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ - وَأَنِـيبُواْ إِلَى رَبِّكُمْ وَأَسْلِمُواْ لَهُ مِن قَبْلِ أَن يَأْتِيَكُمُ الْعَذَابُ ثُمَّ لاَ تُنصَرُونَ - وَاتَّبِعُـواْ أَحْسَنَ مَآ أُنزِلَ إِلَيْكُم مِّن رَّبِّكُـمْ مِّن قَبْلِ أَن يَأْتِيَكُـمُ الْعَذَابُ بَغْتَةً وَأَنتُمْ لاَ تَشْعُرُونَ - أَن تَقُولَ نَفْسٌ يحَسْرَتَى عَلَى مَا فَرَّطَتُ فِى جَنبِ اللَّهِ وَإِن كُنتُ لَمِنَ السَّـخِرِينَ - أَوْ تَقُولَ لَوْ أَنَّ اللَّهَ هَدَانِى لَكُـنتُ مِنَ الْمُتَّقِينَ - أَوْ تَقُولَ حِينَ تَرَى الْعَذَابَ لَوْ أَنَّ لِى كَـرَّةً فَأَكُونَ مِنَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ - بَلَى قَدْ جَآءَتْكَ ءَايَـتِى فَكَذَّبْتَ بِهَا وَاسْتَكْبَرْتَ وَكُنتَ مِنَ الْكَـفِرِينَ ﴾

    (53. Say: "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, verily, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.'') (54. "And turn in repentance (and in obedience with true faith) to your Lord and submit to Him before the torment comes upon you, (and) then you will not be helped.'') (55. "And follow the best of that which is sent down to you from your Lord, before the torment comes on you suddenly while you perceive not!'') (56. Lest a person should say: "Alas, my grief that I was undutiful to Allah, and I was indeed among those who mocked.'') (57. Or (lest) he should say: "If only Allah had guided me, I should indeed have been among those who have Taqwa.'') (58. Or (lest) he should say when he sees the torment: "If only I had another chance, then I should indeed be among the doers of good.'') (59. Yes! Verily, there came to you My Ayat and you denied them, and were proud and were among the disbelievers.)

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