Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I can’t sleep or eat, please someone save me and my family from this boy

Assalam-o- alikum, i am feeling soo depressed i really dont know how to start... i am a girl...i hav seen a lot of pain in this life.. i was only 11 when my mom left us coz they divorced. i am the eldest girl and i hav 4 siblings. next to me is my sister she is 5 years younger to me... my dad was the only parent to luk after us.. but alhamdullah we were financially good my dad arranged us maids to look after us... still i always used to miss my mom


But alhamdullah that phase of life passed with allah's blessings and mercy upon i am 25 years old..but due to my loneliness i always believe in people easily...There is a boy with whom i loved so much during my childhood days...he is 1 and half years younger to me...we used to like each other..but when i came to my own country from saudi arabia he started ignoring me.

We used to chat on net and phones. When his dad caught him he showed my letters to my dad and deleted all his letters frm my account because i hav given him my password. He completely put all the blame on me...saying i was the one who was interested in him. Later when i came to my country we started ignoring him but his sister and brother started gossiping about my and his relationship to my sister and mind washed her completely against me even he did the same. I just kept sabr because no one believed me even my dad too.

Now after long years again he came back in my life showing interest in me so i thought maybe he is feeling guilty about his deeds and want me in his life back.  We had nice chat again, he said he likes my body and me but he is engaged already.  He started touching me and i felt loved too. He called me out too with him for sex and i went. But thank Allah, he saved me from not going further in this. Something stopped him, his in laws call at that time.  He got scared and left me.

Now he started liking my sister too. He stares at her and she too stares at him, he is my cousin we cant avoid his coming to our house. But he is a big flirt. He also told me that he has no feelings for me but like to have sex with me and when i asked him to marry me, he refused clearly.  I told my sister about his calls and his nature but still my sister wont avoid his looks and stares and smiles at him always wants to show her body to him and waits for the opportunity to make him look at her

Once his family took my sister with them for a small visit for a small vacation out of the city.  Even he was there, unfortunetely i could not made it but he was there with my sister. I always gets bad feelings about that situation, always wondering what might have happened there with my sister, did he touch her too?? And all these weird thoughts whenever i spoke with my sister. She refuses about this saying he is like my brother and when i asked him too he said the same, but i cant help because i cant over look the situation because i cant overlook what they are doing infront of me.

I feel jeolous too but i cant help it.  My sister beats me up always when I ask her about this.  I already told everyone about his nature and staring at my sister thing to my dad and brothers but still they wont believe me, at all. And whenever i look at them staring each other they just turn somewhere else so that I wont take them wrong. But everytime something or the other is going on between them.

I just want him to stay away from our lives always and just leave us alone. I dont care where he goes and what he does but not in my house. Please him me out!!!!!!!! I feel like suiciding!!!!!!!!! I cant sleep , cant stop thinking, cant eat, cant concentrated i feel so much pain ...just want to die!!!! i want to save us from his wrong intentions...and save my sister too...

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9 Responses »

  1. Pray to Allah for he is the only true helper. I will pray for you that your life will become better sister.

  2. Dear Juwariyah, Walaykumsalaam,

    You are fortunate that Allah has opened your eyes to what this man is really like. When a man claims to want to be with you because you have a beautiful body, then his intentions are not right. Having a beautiful body and face are not what defines a person. What defines a person is his/her character and personality. We are all worth alot more than what is on the surface and so are you. So what you you were feeling for this man, was not love, it was something else; it was most likely your internal physical desires awakening. When you respect and admire a man for his qualities, character and personality - that will be love. If you have realised your mistakes, then Alhumdulillah, you have maashAllah learnt something important from this experience.

    I understand this man is causing problems for your sister now aswell and you are worried for her, but I want you to stand back and take a deep breath Sister. You are despairing and causing yourself extreme anxiety, so you will not be of any help to yourself or your sister in this state, will you? The situation is not so terrible that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Allah saved you from committing zina, didnt He? He helped you out when you were on the verge of doing something very bad - so have faith in Him now aswell. Committing suicide is not a solution to anyone's problems. Attempting or committing suicide is very wrong and is an indicator that one's level of faith is extremely low if not non-existent altogether.


    With regards to your sister, you can only try to warn her. If she chooses not to believe you, you cannot force her. There is a point where you have to step back. Furthermore, you say that your sister is beating you up; I find this extremely strange. It is not right at all and this is more reason that you must step back.

    This experience is one test amongst many, it is part of your life; you will have many more tests in life as we all do. Allah will not jugde you on whether you were able to save anyone or not, or whether you got the best result; He will judge you on your personal conduct, your patience, your faith and your trust.

    What you must remember is that everything is a test from Allah. We as humans can only try our best to do the right thing, after that, leave the rest to Allah to deal with. Allah says in Surah Takwir, Ayah 29, (meaning): "You do not will anything except by the Will of Allah, the Lord of the Worlds."

    SisterZ Editor

  3. Assalam O Alaikum Sister Z, Brother Wael, Sister Leyla etc.
    I submitted two questions more than a week ago but didn't hear anything about them from any brother/sister. They are of quite serious nature and I don't know when anyone will help me to get out of those situations. May Allah help us all. (Amin)
    Jazzak Allah Khair.

    • Mks1982, there is a backlog of questions and a delay of several weeks. I don't know the nature of your question, but if it is critical then it will be moved forward in the queue, otherwise it will be published in turn.

      Wael Editor

  4. tell ur dad about his bad intentions and what is going between ur sis and him.
    ask ur dad not to allow him to urs home.

  5. Salaam Mks1982,

    JazakAllah Hairen for your patience...we have read your questions, and they are in a queue and should be published here soon inshaAllah



  6. Salam
    Get him chating on the net again, n txtz etc get the real him out again n save the convo's! N show ur dad n family the evidence n inshallah it wil get sortd out 4m der.
    W.S jafar

  7. Salam Allah Alikum Sister,
    Pray to allah SWT to get him away from you. You need to pray and make du3a when you are making sujood. This is the time when you are closest to allah SWT. I ask you to fear allah and read the quran and try to make your dad stop him from coming to your house. Make du3a for him too that allah will make him go the straight path. Try to get close to Allah as much as possible and if you get a chance and read the book "DON'T BE SAD". I wish I can help you more but this is all I can say. I just found this website by accident and I might not be able to come back to it. May allah SWT protect from all evils.

  8. Pray to ALLAH everything will be ok.The Muslims are like one man, if his eyes complains then the whole of him complains, and if his head complains then the whole of him complains.

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