Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I´m 16, I kissed a boy and I regret it

woman in regret, sad, depressedAssalamulaikum,

Im a girl, 16 years of age, and I've been wondering if it's possible to be given a clear slate. I admit i have done a few things, which i deeply regret, which is forbidden in Islam, looking back now i am in complete shock. I always wish to become a better Muslim but am scared Allah (SWT) will not welcome me for all the sins i have done. I always ask Allah for motivation to pray 5 times a day, i do hope this helps.

One of the major sins i have commited was getting into a relationship behind my parents back, i am disgusted with myself. Thank God nothing happened, although this boy and i kissed, he wanted to take things further and take my virginity a long with it. But i came to my senses and broke the whole thing up, i felt forced and i knew that wasnt true love, it was just lust.

I want to keep away from this but somehow it comes all back, another boy  another glance...im scared something worse can happen although i dont want it to. I'm not a strong person, and thats what im afraid of. I want to be a better Muslim but i dont know where to begin.

Please help me,

thank you

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2 Responses »

  1. Firstly nobody is perfect. If we were all to be perfect then there would be any point for God to test us. We're humans we make mistakes and we overcome them. (please don't use it as an excuse to make further mistakes)

    Your issue here is your interaction with boys who are not your immediate family. You clearly have haram engagement with them hence why you find yourself in this scenario.

    You come across in a funny way, you blame the guys for taking things further but don't hold yourself accountable. These guys wouldn't move like that unless that got indication that it's okay for them. This is a place for people to give you advice so don't paint yourself as a good girl when it's not the case. You clearly struggle with the urges.

    Now we can offer you some solution now that we know your issue. Firstly you need to sttengthen your iman as its clearly at a low point hence why you consid5doing stuff. Look into the topic related to your scenario in the quran. You should wear hijab if not already and that would in a way make you feel guilty when you find yourself doing hattam. And lastly stay away from boys. You're 16 you have no necessity to interact with them outside of class

  2. Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh,

    Respected sister in Islam,

    Allah Ta'āla has created us and send us to this world with a lot of blessings. The blessing of imaan is the greatest of all of them. Your guilt after committing the sin is a sign of Imaan.
    Having any informal contact with non mahrams (those whom are permissible for us to marry) is impermissible. What was done is a sinful act but there is a door for repentance. Therefore ask Allah Ta'āla for forgiveness, feel guilty for the sin and resolve to never return to the sin again. Allah Ta'āla loves those who repent. It was reported in a hadeeth that when a person repents from a sin, he becomes such as if he never sinned. Therefore turn to Allah Ta'āla in repentance.

    To become stronger in faith, find a very good company, stay away from opposite genders completely by thinking if them as poison, listen to lectures of Moulana Sulaiman Moola.
    Refer to this website: http://www.uswatulmuslimah.co.za
    Do Taleem of Fazaail e amaal for 10 minutes everyday.

    May Allah Ta'āla keep you steadfast on His beautiful Seen, Ameen.
    Wa akhirud da''wana anil hamdulillahi Rabbil 'alameen.

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