My eight years old daughter wants to wear hijab, I am afraid for her
Salam,
My eight year old daughter is thinking about wearing hijab and I am proud of her. I do not wear hijab. We live in a small town rural community and are white and she has no roll models. We do not attend a mosque as there are none near us. We are a family of faith and we raise our family as best we can in a very white Christian community. We are farmers. I am afraid for her. She has a physical disability and so her life is already hard. I am afraid for her.
As a mother what can I do to be supportive I have no other Islamic women around me for support.
Please tell me what I should do. Thank You
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My Dear Sister, Asalaamualaykum,
I really feel for you, at the same time, I am very happy for you as while living amongst a strong christian community, you have by the mercy of Allah maintained your Deen and your young daughter is drawn towards Hijaab. Your daughter sounds like a real little darling maashaAllah : ). You say she has no Muslim role model, but my dear, 'you' are her role model - whether you wear hijaab or not. You are her mother, you are the one to teach her good and bad and about belief and emaan and you seem to have done an excellent job till now maashaAllah.
I can understand your fears, you must feel like wrapping her up in cotton wool so you can protect and care for her all the time. But I will say to you, do not worry - she seems to be a strong headed young individual who has a mind of her own. Alhumdulillah, for a girl to want to wear hijaab at the age of eight years young when hijaab is probably not even fard on her yet, is something quite remarkable maashaAllah.
Alhumdulillah, your daughter is unaffected by many things that you and most adults have been exposed to in the big wild world. So try not to let her feel your vibes of fear. Instead, encourage her, you could be nicely surprised by your community. When they see the hijaab, it may be a very new thing to them, but continue smiling and talking them as normal. I would say, that when you bump into the locals, tell them about the hijaab, tell them that its how a Muslim woman is supposed to dress and your daughter wants to start young. This will break the ice and then that inital uncomfortable feeling will vanish inshaAllah.
I think the best thing to do to support your daughter is to carry on as normal. Take her hijaab shopping, try them on with different outfits, have some fun with the idea of wearing hijaab. Tell her the benefits of hijaab, but remind her that she does not have to wear it till she begins puberty. At the same time, tell her that you love her whether she wears it yet or not and will support her the whole way. Tell her that you are proud of her because she is making some good and brave choiced at such a young age. Read her stories about Aisha(ra) aswell.
Your presence and obvious Islamic indentity can be a positive representation of Muslims in your Christian based community. Mostly, remember that Allah will protect your daughter and ask Him(swt) for strength and protection always.
May Allah keep you and your daughter blessed with His Mercy and Protection always, aameen!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
Ma-sha-Allah, ma-sha-Allah, what a wonderful child. I believe you should welcome with open arms your daughter's desire to wear hijab, and you should support her by starting to wear it yourself. If she can do it, you can do it. Sometimes the children show us the way. Allah is guiding you through your daughter. Be strong and take this step with her. Don't fear the reaction of the people. Trust Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Yes Wael,
What better could the mother do to support her daughter than wear Hijaab herself. It entered my mind, but I was fluffling around my words, so thanks for saying it so simply!!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASA!!
Brother Wael I agree 100% with you!
Sister maybe this is your opportunity to walk hand in hand with your daughter wearing you hijab! There is no shame in wearing one, its an amazing feeling of pride and modesty! And the fact that your daughter has "no role models" is even more amazing! This is something SHE wants to do! You dont know how many muslim families worry about the fact that their daugthers dont want to wear a hijab...You are blessed with you child!!
Dont be ashamed!
AMIRA 🙂
Assalamu alaykum Sister,
I am happy to see your concern and willingness to seek an advice.
Alhamdulillaah, a family of faith, Subhaan Allah. May Allah guide you and increase you in knowledge of Islam and help you and your family over come difficulties in life and make all of you enter Jannah in aakhirah.
In regards to your daughter, pray to Allah, seek medical aid for her available by modern technologies to make taks easier for her and try as best as you can do as a mother, Insha Allah and which I believe you are doing now as well.
IN regards to hijab, no problem Alhamdulillaah. Let her do it, Insha Allah she is under the protection of Allah.
Regarding supporting her, you may read the Qur’an with translations at home, read to her narratives from the Qur'an, learn prayers from internet and youtube videos. You may learn Surahs of the Qur’an by listening on internet. You may make a small “congregation” of you own in the house and pray, the whole family together. You can learn about Islamic women of the generation of the Prophet, Insha Allah from the internet and explain in form of stories to your daughter.
Try to make maximum use of internet to stay connected with the world of Islam, websites of women in Islam, make use of internet a lot if you are living in an isolated area among white Christian community.
I hope this will help. Cling on to the Qur'an, wherever you are on earth, Allah is with you and make reading Qur'an with translations a regular habit.
May Allah make it easy for you to live on Islam and spread Islam further in to the world.
Salaam,
Your brother,
Munib.
* * *
Therefor give good tidings (O Muhammad) to my bondmen, who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Allah guideth, and such are men of understanding.- Surah 39, Az Zumar, verse 17-18.
Salaams Sister
Which would you prefer a daughter that turns towards Allah and her deen or someone that turns away? Marsha-Allah it seems that you are the best role model to your daughter. Guide her to the best of your ability.
Rumaysa
i want to wear and a head scarf in year 8 as im growing older and im a white musilm and i dont want people to stare at me or anythink do u have any Advice ?
Dear Sweet Ayesha, Asalaamualaykum,
MaashaAllah, thats a lovely thing you want to do :O)!
Don't be frightened, Allah is with you and He(swt) will make this step easier for you and the more you perservere, you will become more used to it and then soon you will love it so much!
You are worried that the other children in your school will stare at you and think you're strange. But I promise you, these are just your fears. The best thing you can do is just continue being yourself with your friends, tell them why you are wearing hijaab, simply 'Because Allah tells us in the Quran that we must wear it and so now you have chosen to start wearing it'.
The first day you wear it is when you feel that everyone is staring at you, but once you actually get speaking to your friends and they forget that you have a piece of cloth on your head, the ice breaks and it becomes easier and soon it becomes the norm.
I remember when I first started wearing hijaab. I was much older than you, but I still felt a little daunted. I had a job interview and at the end of the interview, I asked my interviewer what he thought about the women who wear the 'scarf'. He replied: 'Any women I have come across who wear the headscarf have always been very well mannered, polite and hardworking'. It really broke the ice :O).
***
Dear little one, you are headed in the right way maashaAllah by wanting to wear hijaab! Be strong and take that step, Allah will make it easier for you! :O)
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
xxx
Asalaamualaykum, Thank you for that thats advice .
I need one more help im on the school bus and its about people whipsing and stuff
have any advice for that?
thank u Asalaamualaykum, xxx
My dear sweet little sister,
Did, you really write your comment while on the school bus? Thats so cute!
Tell me - have you started wearing your hijaab? And are the kids really whispering about you and staring at you? Are there other hijaabis in your school? And how did your close friends react?
More important than all those questions though, is that you are very brave maashaAllah for wanting to do something so pleasing to Allah despite your fears. I think the best thing you can do on the bus is to ignore any stares and to act normal. Be a friendly, smiley Muslimah :0). If anyone finds your hijab strange, its only because they don't know much about it. They'll get used to it soon and then they'll be amazed by something else even stranger.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
xxx
Asalaamualaykum, sister
i havent started doing it yet..... but i might in the last week of year 7 but i asked my friend shes a musilm and she said she will just do it in year 8 but i would like her to do it on the last week of year 7 but i cant make her do it you see ........ i would like her to do it so i dont have to worry in the hoildays people starting at me and stuff if she does do it with me we can do it toghter you see ........ and i need suport x sister x
Walaykumsalaam dear sweet little sister :O)
We cannot make other people wear hijaab, so I think it would be better for you to let your friend wear it in her own time. I feel that you have already accepted the hijaab in your heart and just need some support to adorn it.
If you feel that anyone is whispering or staring at you, remember that on the Day of Judgement, they will not be whispering or staring at you. No, far from it, because you will be protected by Allah. You know something? Allah(swt) said that on the Day of Judgement, He(swt) will shade those who spent their youth in His(swt) worship.
If someone stares or whispers, think this: 'No one can harm me with their stares. They're just looking. They don't dislike my hijaab, they just dont know about Islam and I pray Allah makes them as fortunate as I am so that they understand and accept Islam too'.
When you have finished praying your next Salaah, close your eyes and talk to Allah. Make a special dua to Him(swt). Maybe you could say something like this: "Ya Allah, my Lord, my Protector, my Guardian - just as You have put the love and desire for hijaab in my heart, I ask You to give me the strength and courage to wear it aswell, starting with now in my youth. I ask You to protect me from the whispers and stares of the people and I ask You to let me represent Islam well everywhere I go. Please make it easy for me Ya Allah." :O)
If you want to, perhaps you can start by wearing hijaab around the house sometimes, experiment with different styles and have fun with it. Then try wearing it when you go shopping with your mother, then maybe to your friend's house. Little by little, you will become more comfortable with it. And who knows, you wearing hijaab may be just the help your friend needs to wear it too inshaAllah :O). Infact you don't know how many young sisters will be positively influenced by you everytime they see you wearing hijaab.
May Allah give you the strength dear little one. Feel free to write here again! :O)
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
xxx
Asalaamualaykum, sister thank you for that advice you have helped me with the whisping hamidliah but what about the laughing and giggling part of it ? thanks sister xx
Mmm, I don't think they will laugh or giggle. But they may be curious :O). We can't control how other people behave but we can control how we do. So if the odd few do laugh or giggle, ignore them. They will get bored and move onto something else very soon. I personally think you will have more nice responses than nasty giggles.
Today, one of my colleagues laughed at my shoes, lol. He said: 'Urg, why are you wearing such pumpy shoes?' It made me laugh, I said: 'I don't want to wear heels, these are more comfy and I can run around in them...anyway, why are you so concerned with what shoes I wear??!'
Deary, rather than worry about what other people will think (this makes you become frightened), focus on what you will achieve by wearing hijaab:
1) You will become closer to Allah and He(swt) shade you on the Day of Judgement for doing this for His(swt) sake;
2) You will be a positive role model and inspiration for other sisters - young and old to wear hijaab too;
3) and you will develop a stronger Muslim identity in a younger age!
This of the positives little one :O).
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
sister, shoes are shoes if people dont like what u wear just ingore and stay out of each others way. sister thanks for that advice and i will condifernt and beilve in my self xx and i will feel brave and ill see what my friends say and i will be back on here 2moro thanks sister
Asalaamualaykum,
Lol, it didnt bother me that he didnt like my shoes, who cares what he or anyone else thinks huh? lol. They're so comfy and bouncy, I can run for the staff bus every morning on route to work, giggle giggle. So my sis, when you wear your beautiful hijaab, remember me and my bouncy shoes :O)!
Click on this link below and you'll see something similar to my work shoes. I bought them in the Xmas sale, so not a bad deal huh, lol. Mmm, I think I will purchase a prettier pair too to go with my prettier hijaab aswell, lolll.
http://www.clarks.co.uk/find/department-is-women/producttype-is-shoes/product-is-20347093
Hope that made you giggle a little sweetheart and don't worry about what people say or think! Write back tomorrow inshaAllah!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalaamualaykum, sister
sorry i havent got back 2 u ive been poorly but now i feel a bit better .........
Anyway about the hijaab thanks for the advice and i will get back 2 u in the hoildays and b4 i start wearing the hijaab and i will let u no how the first day went. xx
i think im gonna be fine ? am i ?
thanks sister . xx
Walaykumsalaam dear little one,
It has been some time :O)
I think you're going to be absolutely fine inshaAllah! You'll join the millions of other women who wear hijaab aswell and love it! Am looking forward to having you on board the hijaabi club soon ;O)
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
xXx
Hmm, you have a club? That's no fair, I want to be part of a club too. Do you have a secret handshake?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Wael,
You've got to have hair on your head to join this club, lol.
No secret handshake, but we have lots of ice-cream, strawberry/mango milkshakes and chocolates too. And you get a sticker! Lol.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
what sort of club is it ? xx
Lol Sweetheart, I was just joking about the club.
All the rewards are from Allah! :O)
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
x
I think there is something wrong with this page . There are xxx in the middle and at the bottom of the comment boxes .
Lol, Muslim Man
There is nothing wrong with this page.
The 'xxx's are nothing but flying kisses to the cute little sister from moi.
Or I could be more creative and say they are unidentified flying objects. Haha, how funny!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Oh, I see . I am new to this stuff . My bad
ohh right lol xox ill let you no how it goes in sept xox salms x
salaam walakum,
May Allah guide all to practice deen in best possible way, man oh man I really enjoyed reading this post and specially the conversation between the two ladies the young one seems 2 cute she writes so cutely the way she spells i love it I wonder y the conversation has stopped may she and all be in best of health and in peace ................
salms, i did say ill reply in the summer holidays b4 a wear a headscarf (in the school) 🙂
i mean hols
Sister Z You are such a powerful personality.You have lots of brains and confidence and MashaAllah.Thanks for sharing your hi-jab story.It gives confidence to all of us to wear hijabs.Thanks very much for all your good work.We would love to see/meet all yo your Editors of this site.You could post photos so that we all can put face against your name.Allahamdulliah! Keep your g
Asalaamualaykum, Hajiab tomorrow im so nervous ............................................................... xxx
A big Walaykumsalaam and Eid mubarak sweet little Ayesha!
Believe it or not, but I thought of you today and wondered what was happening with you and your beautiful hijaab and here maashaAllah is a message from you : ). Thats amazing don't you think? :0)
So you're starting school tomorrow? Big day! My dear, Allah is with you, make a big dua, wrap around your hijaab beautifully, throw in a big smile and say 'maashaAllah'! You'll be absolutely fine inshaAllah!
I'll be looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow inshaAllah!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
xxx
Asalaamualaykum, sister
Eid mubarak xxx
lol thats funny u thought of me and i sent a message 😀
insallah ill be fine tomorrow..... and after school and message you xx
Insallah xx thank u 4 helping me xx (may allah reward u )
ill let u no xxx thank u xx
Sister Z,
pls reply to my post i really need your help,i want to expell jinn from my body...eagerly waiting 4 ur reply.
JAza kAllah
Asalaamualaykum,
HAHA no one laughed at me 2day im soooo happy or started im soo happy ..............
but im worried about the school bus xxx <3
MaashaAllah Ayesha, I'm very happy for you. The bus will be fine too inshaAllah.
I think Allah(swt) must be so happy with you today.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com
thank u xxxx im so happy right now 😀 thx sister xx
one girl asked me .... why r u wearing a headscarf? i said "because im muslim" and b4 i could finsish..... she said seroiusly? wht does she mean by tht ? xx
She just didnt know you were Muslim. And now she does maashaAllah :0)
Remember to smile!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
:0) x
ok.... im so glad right now xxx
thank u 4 the advice and i hope we cn keep in contact xx salms x
Dear Ayesha,
I am so happy for you :0). I think your journey to hijab will help alot of other sisters aswell.
Was everything ok on the school bus? And remind me, what is your age?
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalamualaikum brothers and sister,
After reading all this half of my life Problem is getting solved. Started to walk in the right path my mind is fresh and feel like my sisns are wiped off from me its like I reborn again and started from the beginning.
Mashallah Allah bless us all and you brother and sisters for helpful advice.
Alhumdullilah
Nadia
Alhamdulillah, it's nice to see so many sisters taking on hijab.
I ran into this internet account recently. I think it will be a comfort for many Muslim and non-Muslim women.
http://velascarves.tumblr.com/post/20563678062/an-experience-to-remember
Asalamualaikum,
@ProfessorX nice article thank you for sharing.