Can I pray to marry her if she’s marrying someone else?
A girl and I have been in love for the past two years, and we still are. My parents accepted a marriage to her, but her parents did not accept it and they fixed her marriage with some other man without her permission.
Now I'm making dua to Allah. Will Allah accepted these types of duas? Please answer this question soon, because lots of my friends are making this type of duas and I'm sure this answer will help lots of people.
-mohammed
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assalalalaikum-
Praise be to Allaah.
The woman has to agree to the marriage. Some practices call for the woman to be asked if she agrees to marry a certain man. She should say “yes” or keep silent, which implies agreement. A woman cannot be forced to marry anyone.
The basic principle is that one of the conditions of marriage is the consent of both parties, because of the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) which says that the Prophet SAW said: “A virgin cannot be married until her consent has been sought and a previously-married woman cannot be married until she has been consulted.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is her consent?” He said, “If she remains silent.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5136; Muslim, 1419)
Guardian – A nikah is not valid without the consent of a male guardian, or wallee. This is usually the woman’s father, or it can be any male mahram. If no wallee can be found, the imam can act on the woman’s behalf.
Two witnesses – Two trustworthy witnesses, generally males, must attest to the nikah.
Muslims should know that it is not compulsory for a imam to be present at a nikah for it to be valid in the eyes of Allah.
There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Al-Bukhaari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:
“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah . He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’
At first, the Prophet told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well being is well known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to
choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each
becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, cooperation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds
tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other.
However, to adhere to specific country laws, you may be required to have an official of the mosque or marriage registrar present to legally verify the union.
YOU CAN PRAY TAHAJUD AND SEE THE CHANGES WILL TAKE PLACE IF ALLAH WILLS AND THE COMING TO THE GIRL ACCEPTING THE NIKAH WITH ANOTHER PERSON WITHOUT HER OWN CONSENT IS NOT ALLOWED IN ISLAM-
Consent is essential in the case of the husband, and also in the case of the wife. The parents have no right to force their son or their daughter to marry someone they do not want.
But if the person whom the parents have chosen is righteous, then the child, whether male or female, should obey the parents in that, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter) to him.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 865).
But if obeying them will lead to divorce later on, then the child does not have to obey them in that, because consent is the foundation of the marital relationship, and this consent must be in accordance with sharee’ah, which is approval of the one who is religiously committed and of good character.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
The parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient towards them, as is the case when he does not eat what he does not want.
Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, 344.
Brother,
Forcing a woman to marry someone she does not wish to marry is not allowed in Islam even though many parents do it everyday. If this sister does not wish to marry the man her parents have chosen, she needs to stand her ground and say no. I have watched several girls married to men they did not want to marry and each and every one of them is divorced and sitting at home. No means No. This woman either stands her ground if this is something she does not want, or she can end up just another statistic of a woman forcibly married without her consent. Allah has given this woman rights and it is her right to say no.
Salam
Allah SWT hears all of our duas.
As to whether our wishes are granted, that depends on Allah. There is a reason for everything. Maybe this girl was not written for you.
The point of the above two comments is, at this stage the ball is in the girl's court. If she does not wish to marry the other man, she can stand her ground and advise her parents.
Your dua will not influence her decision. Allah SWT has given each of us free will to do as we choose. Dua does not force the agency of others.
Keep making dua anyway, as it seems to provide solace to people in these situations. But you should remain emotionally detached from the outcome. I know that is easier said than done.