Should I divorce my wife due to her mental problems?
The Relationship between a Husband and a Wife
I got married a year and half ago. I knew my wife like for few month and with good intentions I decided to marry her. Once I get married , I realized that she has serious mental issue and also addicted to alchol.
I frist tried to stop her from these things and explain to her that Its effecting our marriage. She always tried to put blame on me or instead of listening she tried to change the topic. After some time situation get more worst and she started to threaten me to jump from car or will hurt her self. I explained to her parents but it all went in vain.
Instead of listeing to me, they always pretended that nothing is wrong with their daughter even though they knew that she had alot of problems. At the same time, I was telling everything to my family cuz I was scared that If she do something to her self. atleast there should be somone who knows the whole situation.
Her parents tried to stop her but cuz of mental problem, everything failed. I came to a point where I started feeling depress and not happy with her at all. I gave her many chance but cuz of her threats I decided to divorce her and my family wanted the same . I read many Hadiths and comments from people and I am kinda scared from Allah that I dont make any mistake by divorcing her as I am in situation that I cant live with her too.
We are seprated right now and she told me that she is a different person and she quit everything. I am not sure what to do as I also have a hard time in trusting her as she broke many promises before. No one is happy from my family with her and her behaviour. Please advise
~ Ahsan
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Ahsan,
I am going to ask you not to think about what everyone else thinks of your wife. What do you think of her? Have you ever taken her to a doctor to seek out the reason for her behavior? Maybe she just needs some medical attention of some sort. By divorcing her and sending her back home, it's very possible that she won't get the help she needs. Before considering divorce, my advice to you would be to take her to see a doctor. Run some blood tests and see with medical intervention if you can help her. Who knows...with help, she may be the best wife to you.
Also consider this...what if it was you that had some mental issues going on? Would you want your wife to divorce you? Wouldn't you want her by your side trying to help you? Your wife needs your support right now. Try to support her as best you can. Divorce is an option for you if you find you are unable to help her and you are not happy within your marriage. However, don't give up without first trying to do what you can for her. May Allah bless you and your wife and may you find some help for her before you decide to end things.
Salam
The thing is that some mental disorders cannot be cured fully. It will recur again and again. My wife has borderline personality disorder. I am still trying my level best to live with it. I donno how much I will be able to hold on.
It would have been better if I had divorced earlier. Now we have a boy which is pulling off me from divorce.
The main issue is that her family is not accepting and understanding the fact of BPD. They are just keeping the eyes closed and not trying to sort things out.
Always preying to Lord to make the best happen...