His first wife wants to reconcile after two years
Assalam alaikum
My husband was married when we married 6 years ago. Two years ago for several reasons his first wife left. She has now decided that she would like to make the marriage work although they have been seperated for two years and she has lived her own life by her own rules and has her own home.
I have read a lot about divorce and many different things are stated, I was under the impression that after a certain period of time apart a nikah was no longer valid and they would be divorced according to Islam. Do you have any advice as to whether this may be correct as many sources have many answers?
I am concerned as a reconciliation may well cause problems in our relationship due to the hardship of the last few years due to the circumstances. Any help would be much appreciated as I have small children and need to discuss this with my husband.
-zaf
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As salamu alaykum, sister zaf,
Seperation itself is not divorce, you should ask an Imam about the right procedure to follow in this case, and better than you the one that should ask is your husband.
Does he want to divorce or he wants to stay with both of you? You should ask him before making any movement. And if you don´t want to stay in a polygamous marriage, let him know.
Go to your local Imam and he will guide you, insha´Allah.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu alaykum Sister Zaf,
I am sure you did not come to this website to be sent back to an Imaam again as you read about divorce and saw different opinions at different places.
Sister Zaf, as sister Maria said, mere separation is not divorce.
Divorce has to take place as stated in the Qur'an, very clearly and in a way easy to understand.
If your husband has not divorced, she is his wife and he is her husband too. If he wills to bring her back by a reconciliation and you have problems with her coming back in your life, due to hard circumstances of last few years, then you may make yourself clear about "your priorities". It is better if your husband is aware of your needs before he takes any further step.
Good communication is Insha Allah helpful and to solve a matter in kindness by a dialogue is better than arguing and leaving the task unfinished in anger.
Insha Allah, speak to your husband about your priorities related to your married life and to that of your small kids and if you feel satisfied, then Insha Allah you may carry on happily with the marriage as before.
If you think your priorities are not treated as you wanted, you may get an arbitrer from his side and an arbitrer from your side, two people who can communicate well to solve your dissatisfaction, and Insha Allah, if you and your husband wish to make things work, Allah will bring you to a common platform and will make you of one mind.
I hope this works for you Insha Allah.
Yes, before actions, during actions and after actions, du'aas to Allah help the most.
May Allah give you and your family a good life of dunya and good of aakhirah.
Salaam,
Your brother.
Assalam alaykum
Thank you both for your help and advice. I have and will continue to discuss the situation with my husband to decide the best option for all of our family.
Insha' Allah we will sort this out soon.
Thank you again
Waleykum Assalaam Sister Zaf,
Jazaakallaah for your feedback.
May Allah give you success.
Salaam,
Your brother.