Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What kind of pills should I take to forget the past?

Viagra pills

Assalam - o - Alaikum everyone.

I am really concerned about what to do next therefore I'm asking for advice from all of you.

I have been abused mentally and all the things which have been done to me and said to me are really tearing me apart. I really do want to forget my past and start a new fresh life. I know there might be some tests in the future which we all have to pass, but the thing which happened to me is now eating me inside.

I just can't forget a single part of my past. Those things which I had done while I was in tremendous shock is also making me insane. Now actually what I'm going to tell you might be really peculiar to you. After thinking of ways to get rid off the memories which give me shivers and which I just can't take out my mind for a second, I decided to take some pills. I took some 'forgetting' pills, which put one in such a condition that they cannot even make a guess what happened in the past. It makes one forget such longtime things. But some of those pills have alcohol in them, possibly all of them have. The mixtures in them are drugs. These things are haraam in Islam and I don't want to keep taking them due to this reason.

Well, if we take any pills or other things like jaributian, which takes our memory safely, will that be a sin? Even if those are halal? And what if I take something which has side affects which can cause coma or loss of life unintentionally? I mean, if we don't have the 'neeyat' of harming ourselves but accidentally we harm our self or lose our life, would it be considered suicide?

My other question is in perfumes and deodorants or any cosmetic products have alcohol added in them, is it a sin to use them? By the way, I am asking for help from Allah, and we know He can do anything, but I just get insane sometimes. And I don't want to become psycho.  Hoping to get an advice which will Insh'Allah help me.


Tagged as: , , , ,

7 Responses »

  1. As-salamu alaykum sister,

    If you are in extreme emotional distress and your physician or psychiatrist has prescribed a sedative, it might help you in the short term.

    However, in the long term pills are not the answer. Rather than forgetting the past you must confront it. You need to get into regular therapy and see a therapist on a weekly or twice-weekly basis if you can afford it. A good therapist can help you overcome the ways in which the events of the past are sabotaging your present life.

    Also, you must turn to Allah. Do not underestimate the healing value of 'ibadah. Salat is a river that washes you clean, dua' is a lifeline, dhikr is like sunlight for your soul, fasting purifies you, and Hajj is the great cleanser.

    Also important are good friends, staying busy with positive activities (studying and work), eating well and regular exercise.

    The pills are not a solution. You must heal yourself spiritually and emotionally. It is a difficult, long-term process and requires real work.

    Wael Editor

  2. Read these two books:

    Purification of the heart: By Hamza Yusuf

    Muhammad: By Martin Lings

    Read them both. Read them and then re-read them...They will help you.

    Take care

  3. the best medicine is go and meet people who are ill and try to help them as much as you can , spend time with kids , sit with pious people read hadiths and read tahjud salah and remember problem is that you are not leting past to leave you once you mentally be strong and just kick it out of your mind then you can ,look at more beautiful things around you and past is past dont spoil your future thinking of it 🙂

    jazakallah khair

  4. wa assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    Sister, even the mother of Musa (alayhisalam) suffered from incredible trauma-but bidhnillah, iman got her through it. Faith can heal even the deepest scars.

    Please watch this extremely short(5 and a half minutes) long video by Nouman Ali Khan

    I think only the playlist loads, so please search on Youtube:

    Juz 20 [Quranic Gems] - Nouman Ali Khan - Quran Weekly

  5. Walekum Salam dear Sister

    To forget the past- you just need to accept it, accept that whatever it was, it has already happened and no matter what you do, you cannot undo it. You just have to accept it and let go. The lessons learnt from past life is all that you need to remember and nothing else. You just have to learn to not attach an emotional content to them. So they don't hurt you to think about them and they just become things in your mind. Nothing more. You can always start over; aren't we all constantly evolving? Today is tomorrow's past.

    Pills is certainly not a remedy or weapon to forget the past. Replace Pills with Saleh (Prayers) & Dhikr. Replace negative and sad thoughts or feelings with positive and hopeful ones. Shift your focus from past to your present and future. Take a new routine, take up your hobbies, make new friends, try to help others. Forgive those who did wrong to you and seek forgiveness in person or in heart from those whom you hurt. Take holy Quran as your guiding light. I would quote the following -

    “And We will most certainly try you with somewhat of fear and hunger and loss of property and lives and fruits; and give good news to the patient.” (Holy Qur’an 2:155)

    “No affliction comes about but by Allah’s permission; and whoever believes in Allah,He guides aright his heart; and Allah is Knower of all things.” (Holy Qur’an 64:11)

    “So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.” (Holy Qur’an 94:5-6)

    “And whosever follows My (Allah’s) guidance, on them shall be no
    fear nor shall they grieve.” (2:38)

    “Seek help through patient perseverance and prayers.” (2:45)

    In this regard, the true philosophy of life should be understood. We have been created by the
    Almighty to be tested and tried [Who created death and life that He may try you, which of you is
    best in deeds; and He is the Mighty, the Forgiving (Holy Qur’an 67:2)]. This trial is conducted
    through the circumstances we are put in. If we are put through good circumstances, then our trial
    is whether we remain thankful to the Almighty, who gave us without asking and without our having
    any right. If we are put through bad circumstances, then our trial is whether we show perseverance
    and patience in these times or not.

    Both these circumstances generally come in a person’s life. They are his real test. He cannot be
    given total happiness or total misery since that would make the trial profoundly difficult. It is evident
    from the Holy Qur’an that the Almighty tests us through hardships:

    1. to punish us for our own misdoings (42:30),
    2. to shield us from greater misery (18:74, 18:79),
    3. to sift out the evil within us (3:179),
    4. to give us the opportunity to earn reward by showing patience (3:142, 76:12).

    In such circumstances, a person must remember that Allah (swt) is our only Saviour and Refuge.
    One Whom we will never lose like our other relations; Who is always with us and Who always thinks
    well for us. Our objective as a Muslim is to surrender to His will, since we know that He always
    means well for us. This is the essence of Islam.

    Is it true that the calamities of this world will not touch the man of contentment? No, it is not true,
    because calamities will touch everyone, but the way he reacts to the calamities will be different. He
    will not get in the emotions to handle the situation. People react to their problems in different ways,
    some being more vulnerable than others. As the saying goes, “Winners don’t do different things.
    They do things differently.” Let us read the following story called as “Be a Lake” to understand it

    Be a Lake
    The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and
    then to drink it. “How does it taste?” the Master asked. “Awful,” spat the apprentice.
    The Master chuckled and then asked the young man
    to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake.
    The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and
    when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into
    the lake, the old man said, “Now drink from the
    As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the
    Master asked, “How does it taste?” “Good!” remarked
    the apprentice. “Do you taste the salt?” asked the Master. “No,” said the young man.
    The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure
    salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the
    amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into.”
    The Moral: My dear friends, when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your
    sense of things... “Stop being a glass. Become a lake!”

    Remember the five simple rules to be happy
    1. Free your heart from hatred
    2. Free your mind from worries
    3. Live simply
    4. Give more
    5. Expect less

    Consider these quotes-

    Sometimes in life, we need to separate ourselves from our past, so that we can embrace our future.

    In life, When something bad happens to you, don't let it keep you down, you have to try and move on and be happy, it's not that you're ignoring the past, it's just that you have decided to stop living in it.

    You can't correct the path of the past, but you can correct the path of now so that the future's path will lead where you really want to be in life.

    Learn to let go of the past! Whether it's a beautiful past or ugly past, let go of it and free yourself.

    Forget the failures of the past and focus on the present opportunities. It's better to have a life full of small failures that you learned from, rather than a lifetime filled with the regrets of never trying.

    I end with the poem

    By Benhur Soans

    Let's make a new start
    Forgetting the things fallen apart
    Dreams anew we can see
    Erasing all that's history

    Let's make a new start
    Lifting up the downtrodden heart
    Darting into the future
    Mixing new cultures

    Looking at the miseries
    And that everyone has worries
    Let's just forget all boundaries
    Club everyone to be new visionaries

    Better for all people out there
    Get up and dare to dare
    Let's make a new start
    Giving all that is past, an angry stare

    Come, Let's make a new start
    Enjoying life - a magical tart
    Trying new ways to deploy
    Love, Happiness and Joy

    Your Sister

  6. PS-

    About perfumes and deodorants or any cosmetic products that have alcohol added in them, we should avoid using all such products. I am not 100% sure but to my best knowledge, only if its life threatening situation/medical reasons, in which we can use alcohol based products. As i have heard that females should not use perfumes or deodorants as it attracts non mehram (men). In short, we should avoid at our best using alcohol based/added products.

    • The prohibition against alcohol is only against drinking it. Alcohol itself is a pure substance, not najis. It has many topical uses.

      Wael Editor

Leave a Response