Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m depressed after this act

not allowed sign

As salamu alaikum
I want to say that a guy was trying to put his penis into my anus without my consent. He was forcing it ..I felt a small part of his penis goes inside my anus ..(I m not sure ).. and than I pushed him away .. and than he ejaculated 30 seconds after he was out of me .. I want to know that was it a sexual intercourse ?


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14 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    What this guy did was wrong in so many ways. Sex without consent is assault, and every person has the right to say no to unwanted sexual activity.

    I'd advise you to get away from this guy as quickly as possible. If it is safe for you to do so, contact the police and report this man - he has carried out an assault and needs to be stopped from doing this again. Remember that this is not your fault. Nobody deserves to have this happen, it doesn't mean you are a bad person... the only person to blame here is the guy who forced this.

    InshaAllah there should be help and support available for you, either through your family doctor or if you have a trusted relative they may be able to help as well. Remember to turn to Allah and follow His guidance. I pray that you are safe from this guy, and that Allah's love and mercy guide you through this.

    Midnightmoon editor

  2. Salaam sister.

    This would not constitute as an anal sex as you did not consent to it. In a lot of countries this may be regarded as a criminal offence especially if you had clearly told him that you did not want to do this.

    On another note, I noticed that you used the word 'guy' and not husband. Remember sister, that it is a major sin to commit zina or adultery. In certain parts of the world it has become part of the culture to date people and have sex even within some Muslim communities are relaxed.

    May Allah guide us all.

    Jzk Allah.

  3. you should leave him. he is not a good person

  4. yes you should file a case against him "Sexual Harassment". please dont take it easy, he will do this to other girls. please if he ask forgiveness dont forgive him, he will do it to others. if you dont know him then it would be difficult for the police to find it, i have heard many stories that on indian buses people try to do this , he is a criminal. he has done a major Sin

  5. Did he force himself upon u or ?

  6. Are you friends with this guy? Were you both alone and naked when this happened?

    • Asalamoalaikum,

      I'm unsure if I should say this but I think I've had just about enough and need to speak up. I don't know if you're a brother or a sister (I'm assuming you are a brother so I apologize in advance if I am incorrect) but I find many of your comments very uncomfortable. For some reason, most, if not all your comments have a sexual undertone to them. The pressing issue at hand in this post is not if the sister was naked or not but that she did not consent to this sexual behaviour and has been sexually assaulted. We don't know if it was a random man, her boyfriend, or someone she knew who did this to her but regardless, she seems quite distressed and our role here as commenters is to probe only for those pieces of information that are relevant and useful in order to offer better advice. I don't quite understand how you asking that question can help anyone or you provide better advice.

      Moving forward, please be careful with your follow up questions. We all appreciate it when we receive more information from our posters, but it would be better if that information is relevant.

      -Helping Sister

      • I agree. I am not sure what the purpose is of asking "were you both alone and naked when this happened". If I can be as bold as SVS, the question sounds extremely perverted. What difference does it make if they were naked and alone - from an advice perspective? Do you really think they were in public, in front of other people when this happened?

    • i totally agree with helping sister, most of your comments in previous question and in this one have a sexual undertone to them.

  7. I agree with midnightmoon

    This was sexual intercourse BUT it is not your fault because you said NO. This man has raped you. You should tell the police and cut all contact with this man. Do not feel guilty its not your fault you simply trusted this person. Never ever be alone with any guy in the future because they are only after one thing. Do not be depressed I know it is hard and hurting you but may you get through it within time inshAllah.

  8. Salaam

    First of all, you must not feel responsible or guilty over his actions. His actions are on him not you. I would however do anything if I were you to avoid this man in the future. Have you sought counsel? To me it sounds like you have been assaulted by this man. Sometimes after having been put through an ordeal, it can help a lot to talk to somebody professional. I would also turn to Allah who is merciful and all forgiving with all our troubles. I hope you will regain your strength and not be afraid but be able to move on.

  9. I want to ask if there any punishment for this act ?

    • I want to ask if there any punishment for this act ?
      please tell me .. I never wanted to break Allah's rule ...
      but after this mishap I feel very bad ...

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