Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry a Hindu girl who is 5 years older than me and ready to convert to Islam

Posted by • March 26, 2012 • Printer-friendly

Assalamu alaikum..
I am in a tough time and in need of help frm you brothers and sisters. I am in love with a Hindu girl who is 5 years older than me but she does not look as she is older than me. We both decided to marry; I am away from my family as I am living in a different city for pursuing my education and doing job. She is interested in Islam and wants to convert to Islam. It is not after loving me; in her college days she had many Muslim friends and learned many things about Islam. She performed Salah and fast.

Now the thing is my age is 20 as per Indian law the age of a boy to get married is 21, soon I will be 21 but in her house they are planning her marriage. She rejected many proposals but now it is not possible and in my home I can't talk about marriage. My brother and sister's marriage will be in next year; as per age I am too young but no one agrees to my age. When they talk to me and look at me; every one says I am 24-25 years old as they are saying I am mature enough.

I have a good job and she was also working now, she left the job for her exam and will join new company soon. So,what we have planned is, as now she is ready to come with me, she will leave her home and will live in somewhere else like as a paying guest or in hostel. We decided to marry in registered office soon after I complete 21 years and she will live in somewhere else and we both start earning and saving for our future. After my brother's marriage I will convince my house members and will do the nikah with her and after that we will live together. But here my questions are:

1. Is there anything wrong in marrying a girl who is converted to Islam as many Muslims are thinking so?

2.  Is there anything wrong in marrying a girl who is older than me in age and looks younger than me?

3. Is it wrong having a register marriage before Nikkah? But we are not living together, registered marriage is only for government proof to show that I am her guardian as she will be alone and away from her family.

4. Am I too young to get married?

5. It is not easy in India for a Muslim to get married to an Hindu girl or for a Hindu to convert to Islam.

6. I want to keep her real age as secret as my family will not support me. Is it wrong?
So please suggest me.

Indian Muslim.


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10 Responses »

  1. Muslim sister
    March 26, 2012 • 6:01 pm

    The Answer the your first question: no there is nothing wrong in marrying a girl who wants to convert but make sure u marry her after she converts.

    You 2nd question: no there is nothing wrong with marrying a girl who is older than you, our prophets(PBUH) wife was older than him.

    Your 3rd question: no there is nothing wrong with that either but u must not keep it a secret from everyone you must let them know you are married

    4th question: you are not young, my friend got married and her husband is 20

    5th question: don't think that is a question lol

    6th: you shouldn't lie to them but if they don't ask how old she is then u don't have to tell them but as this is about marriage they will defo ask about her age and u shouldn't lie and there's nothing wrong with her being older than you

    I wish you all the best

    Salam

    Reply
  2. Brother
    March 26, 2012 • 6:06 pm

    Assalamualaykum Brother,

    I am sure others will give you very good advice , but I want to comment on the wedding process you are mentioning. I am not sure regarding your reason behind registered marriage? India Muslims can handle their own marriages under shariah which is being held by 'Wakf' board. They have authority to issue marriage certificates for Muslims which is considered under Indian law. You don't have to go through registered marriage.

    Brother

    Reply
    • IndianMuslim
      April 11, 2012 • 10:37 pm

      Jazakallah..
      The reason behind registered marriage is that,she wil leave her home and we will marry only after two years..so we will nt live together till that time..so she had to live as a payinge guest sumwher else..here in India..Girl needs No Objection Certificate from her guardians for many works..even for PG also..so if we married as per special marriage act.. I will be the guardian for her frm nw only..so that she can be sumwhere else as a Paying Guest..

      Reply
  3. nisaslove
    March 27, 2012 • 3:04 am

    ASSLAMALIKUM.
    PROPHET SALAHUALAIHIWASLALAM MARRIED HAZRATH KHADIJA WHO WAS 15 YEARS ELDER TO HIM.SO THE AGE FACTOR IS NOT ANY HINDERANCE IN YOUR CASE.
    THIS IS TO REQUEST YOU KINDLY CHECK:

    1]IF THIS IS NOT INFATUATIUON.[JOSHE JAWANI INSPIRATION]

    2]I HAVE SEEN THE GIRLS WHO WANT TO CONVERT FOR YR SAKE MAY BE RETRACT AFTER MARRIAGE DUE TO MANY THOUGHTS COMING IN MIND AS SATAN DOES NOT EASILY LET ONE ONE OF GROUP TO GO AWAY JUST LIKE THAT TO THE BELIEVERS FOLD AND BECOME A BANDI OF ALLAH.

    3]LATER REGRETS TAKE PLACE I HAVE SEEN AND ONE CALL TO THEIR PARENTS BEHIND YR BACK THEY WILL TRY TO INTEFER BEHIND YR BACK WITH SO MANY WRONG ADVICES TAKE PLACE AS SATANS TOOLS TO DISFIGURE YOUR LIFE AND SNATCH YR HAPPINESS SO THAT THE GIRL RETURNS BACK TO HINDUISM.

    4.IF LATER REGRETS TAKE PLACE AFTER CHILDREN HAVE BORN THEN THEY BECOME SANDWICHED BETWEEN YOU AND HER FAITH AND YOUR DIFFERENCES.
    5]THINK CALMLY AS LOVE IS NOT PURE LOVE WITHOUT NIKAH[WHAT THE IMAM READS IN NIKAH ARE ALL REQUEST TO ALLAH TO GIVE US COMPASSION IN THE NEW STEP OF LIFE AND SUPPORT BY ADDING LOVE BETWEEN US SO THAT WE MAKE A GOOD OBEDO=IENT MUSLIMS FAMILY.

    6]HOW CAN LOVE WITHOUT APPEAL TO ALLAH AND HELP TAKE PLACE IN ADVANCE WHEN ONLY A GLANCING FOR EACH OTHER IS ALLOWED IN ISLAM FOR SELECTION OF GROOM FOR A BRIDE AND BRIDE GLANCING TO LIKE A GROOM.

    SUGGESTION IS THAT SHE HAS TO CONVERT AND LIVE IN HIJAB[THIS IS THE TEST OF HER GENUINENESS TO ALLAH AND HIS DEEN ] AND AFTER THAT SHE CAN PROVE HER FAITH IS STRONG ON ALLAH AND SHE IS WORTH AS A MUSLIM[SUBMITTER]AND HER PRACTICE OF ISLAMIC FARD COUNTS A LOT HIJAB BEING THE 1ST.

    HOPE MY SUGGESTION WILL ,HELP THESE ALL ARE BASED ON BREAK AWAY HINDU MUSLIMS COUPLES I HAVE SEEN UPS AND DOWNS IN LIFE AND I WAS A WITNESS IN THE SURROUNDINGS.

    REGARDS
    ALI YOUSUFF.

    Reply
  4. sarfraj
    March 29, 2012 • 7:19 am

    first convert her to muslim, then you can marry in masjid insha allah. If she is ready to convert then there is no problem at all, Age difference does not matter , if you are agree then there is no problem.
    khuda hafiz

    Reply
  5. Faraz Shaikh
    June 27, 2014 • 7:58 pm

    you have a great opportunity. its better to save her from flames of fire
    no matter she is older then you .there are all successfull marriages differences of 10 ,5,2 years.
    GOod LUCK 🙂

    Reply
    • Wael
      June 27, 2014 • 10:27 pm

      We cannot save anyone from the fire. And we do not marry people to "save" them. Only Allah can guide someone to the truth. If the woman converts to Islam of her own free will, understanding it and believing in it, then of course the brother can marry her. But until then he should minimize his contact with her and not make any assumptions.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      Reply

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