Islamic marriage advice and family advice

She was a good friend and I miss her dearly, how can I stop thinking about her?

Two Muslim girls.


When I was a teenager I came online and met a really nice girl. I'm a girl myself.

I was young and didn't wanna disclose too much about myself in the beginning so I "created" an online identity. Our friendship went on for many years (almost 10) and I use to chat with her every day. Of course not everything I told her was a lie, but there were many lies.

I finally took a decision to quit it all. But I miss her so much. She was a very good friend to me. She helped me through a lot at that time.

I want to contact her again, but I don't want to tell her the truth. I'm scared of all this lying. Please tell me a dua which will make me stop thinking about her and give me strength to stay away from lying. I feel very depressed and stressed out. I just want to start talking to her again.


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7 Responses »

  1. Hey its ok. i think at ur age we feel extraordinary attachment towards our friends and they mean the world to us. sometimes we even tend to place them above our family. i think u r more guilty for lying to her..basically u r not supposed to reveal everything to strangers online so it ok of u lied in order to hide ur real identity but i find chatting with strangers very dangerous anyways. i had a mexican online friend myself and she was very good but i just didnt feel veey comfortable revealing my identity so i stopped chatting with her after a point. however that was ages back and i dont miss her the way u do coz i saw the whole pointlessness in chatting with some1 you dont trust anyways.
    internet can b a very dangerous place so its best u stayed away from online friendships. u will insha allah find better friends who will inspire u for good very soon. stop thinking about her. besides who know how much she told u about her. i mean what if she wasnt a girl? think about it.

    oh and look who we have here. the starworld gang!! lol. ok this is random but we fought over the characters. everybody wanted to b rachael.
    silly old days of sheer madness.
    * sigh*

  2. subhanAllah .

    which editor is posting such pictures like these ? is this not filthy ??

    is this allowed in Islam. ?

    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

    • brother abdullah,

      its a TV show 'friends' very very popular in the west and any time one wants to state how close friends can be , if you say Oh they are like friends in 'friends' and it summarises it all. so please dont take offence.

      ofcourse everyone will agree that the above picture is not what teachings of our deen are but using words like 'filthy' are pretty strong for an innocent picture.

    • I wouldn't call it "filthy", but perhaps inappropriate for this website. I have replaced it. By the way, I noticed you had time to post two comments strongly condemning this photo and our Editors (I deleted one of them), but no time to help the poster with her issue. That's the definition of self-righteousness.

      Wael Editor

      • @Wael-

        jazakAllah khair for removing that.

        Prophet Muhammed(sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Whoever among you sees an evil action, then let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart – and that is the weakest of faith.” Narrated by Muslim (49).
        about advising her, I don't know if i can do that.

        Islam protects women and regards them as precious jewels which are not permissible for everyone to see.
        What benefit can one get by posting a picture of women ? it may please some people.
        ?? But, will this act please Allah.

        May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  3. Sister,

    Sister, ten years is a long time to have a friend and then cut all contact. You are no longer a teenager I suspect and have grown up over the years. Why not contact your friend and just be honest with her? Just tell her you stopped contacting her because of the heavy guilt that you felt for lying to her? Often people lie and make up things about themselves because they have low self esteem or they feel the need to make their lives something that it is not.

    You could contact her and be honest with her about yourself and why you felt the need to lie to her. You take the chance that she will want nothing to do with you however, you also take the chance that she will find it in her heart to forgive you for the lies you told. Besides, nothing ventured...nothing gained. Good luck.


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