Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Wife and mother-in-law don’t get along: is it black magic?

Suspicion, suspicious thoughts

Assalam Walaikum,

I have a doubt about this. My wife and my mom were like friends before our marriage, but suddenly after marriage (from the first day) my wife's behavior totally changed towards my mom. She  says that my mother told her something in an arrogant way, but I was there and no such thing happened.

From that day until now they are not on good terms. I am just worried: is this a misunderstanding, or some black magic to spoil the relationship? Is there any Surah from Quran which I can read to solve this between my wife and my mother? I am ready to do it.

I just want peace. I don't expect anything from either of them, just love and unity. How can I get through this? I need proper help because I am really fed up with this issue. I want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Jazakallah Khair,


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6 Responses »

  1. Brother,

    Sometimes when words come out of our mouths, what one person may perceive as fine...someone else may see as harsh or offending.

    Gather your mother and wife together and sit down like grown up people do. Tell them both that you love them unconditionally however, their arguing is affecting you in a bad way. Let them know it is affecting your job and is very upsetting for you to see the two people you love and care about behaving in such a manner.

    Encourage both your mother and your wife to speak freely and say what needs to be said. Tell them if they really love you and want you at peace within your home, they need to find peace with each other. Enough is enough.


  2. Dear Brother,

    Najah has said it at its best.

    Its doesn't sound a case of black magic but of misunderstanding and lack of communication.

    Discuss mutually and end the disagreements and hatred amicably.

    Your Sister

  3. Walaykum as salam,

    Your question and the sorrow of your heart have reached mine. Certainly, I do understand the pain that is causing all of you the situation that you are living.

    As Najah and repented muslimah have mentioned, missunderstandings are more common than we would like them to be and are the cause of deep suffering. I agree that communication is the pillar that will nurture a healthy relationship between all of you, from now on will be the best remedy to solve any difference, from the simplest to the most difficult. Insha´Allah, all of you will be willing to gather, talk and commit to find a solution that will help to solve the missunderstandings and will allow all of you to live in Peace.

    There is one common factor between your mother and your wife, the love they feel for you, when you decide to gather them, be gentle and loving towards them and let them know how much you love them and reassure that they are important to you, one as the one that gave you life and insha´Allah cared, cares and will care for you forever and the other one that you have chosen, insha´Allah,to be with the rest of your life and will be the mother of your children. Talk from your Heart and insha´Allah the situation will improve to a better understanding.

    I have been reading surah An-Nur and there is a few ayats that have touched me related to your situation, I would like to share them with you,

    24:35 Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things.

    24:43 Do you not see that Allah drives clouds? Then He brings them together, then He makes them into a mass, and you see the rain emerge from within it. And He sends down from the sky, mountains [of clouds] within which is hail, and He strikes with it whom He wills and averts it from whom He wills. The flash of its lightening almost takes away the eyesight.

    24:44 Allah alternates the night and the day. Indeed in that is a lesson for those who have vision.

    Apart from this there is a beautiful prayer, called the prayer of light, that I love to recite everytime I feel I am overwhelmed,

    “O Allah, place light in my heart, light in my tongue, light in my hearing, light in my sight, light behind me, light in front of me, light on my right, light on my left, light above me and light below me; place light in my sinew, in my flesh, in my blood, in my hair and in my skin; place light in my soul and make light abundant for me; make me light and grant me light.”

    And the last one I would like to share with you, it is the following,

    Hasbunallahu Wa Ni’mal Wakeel.. حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ "Sufficient for us is Allah , and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs."

    And a reminder, have always Allah subhana wa tala in your Heart and in your mouth at all times, when you gather say:"Bismillahi Rahmani Raheen", when insha´Allah solves, Alhamdulillah.

    There is something I would like to ask you from Heart, it doesn´t matter how hard the situation it can turn, please don´t give up, that will solve fastest than you think if you, from Heart, pray to Allah subhana wa tala to help all of you.

    I admire how you want to solve this situation from within your Heart, praying to Allah(swt) and fully submiting to Him, you have all my respect.

    Remember to smile, they need to smile together, they need to have good memories together, a nice meal all together where they can feel how much you love them from Heart, nice gatherings, praying together, ....Insha´Allah, you will have better ideas than mine.

    Thank you very much for listening to me.



  4. Is thiis not an old post. I remember reading this a long time ago.

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