Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My mother in law wants to control my life

Mother-in-law's tongue plant.

A plant known as mother-in-law's tongue.

My mother in law wants to control my wife and my family too. She creating problem like;  what to wear; what to eat.. where to go or not ..

she feel bad when our relatives come at my home and she also says if we not accept her talks she went to police for make a complaint against us in dowry act...

i m very affraid. what i do?

plzzz guide me

- Mahboob

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9 Responses »

  1. salaam

    i am assuming you are in pakistan if not it would help to know which country you are in to better advise

    i think one of your options is to try and move away from that area if possible

    Allah hafiz

  2. Dear friend,

    I think you are from India. It is true that it would be bad if your mother in law tries to control you. I have not the right to discuss your problem.

    But I have a doubt. are you a man ?

    you need money from the house of your wife to protect her ??

    Why did you marry ?? To get dowry or to get a life partner ??

    I have a request my friend. you should give back what did you get as dowry.

  3. Assalamualaikum,

    Brother, your mother in law has no right to do so. But you haven't mentioned if you have taken any dowry from your wife's family. If you have, then it is against the law of Islam which requires the dowry to be given by the man to the wife (mahr).

    If you have taken dowry in any form, return it so that there is no scope for the legal actions. After that, discuss it with your wife. You require her support, otherwise this lady may file a false case upon you. So make sure no traces of dowry are left if you have taken any. I mean return it all and have proof to prove that. If you have not taken any dowry, then she may give false witness against you, so you require your wife's support.

    And how does she know about visotors to your home? Do you people live together with her? She has no right to say anything about who visits your home.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  4. Salam Brother
    i assume u live in India. Since a lot of women were physically tortured and a lot were even killed in such a manner that it would luk like an accident a new dowry law was passed in order to bring the culprits ( greedy husband and in-laws) to justice. Now what i was told by a friend was that in this new system the wife and her parents can lodge a complaint against the husband and his family for harassment for dowry and the complaint will b considered even if there is no proof to support it, (provided the complainant files a case within 7 yrs of marriage. Now this law has plenty of loop holes hence it is being misused by devious people.

    very recently i saw a talk show which was dedicated to the horrible outcome of this law and it was shocking 2 know, at what rate innocent young men were committing suicide and the amount of torture their old parents went through because of it. Now if ur m-i-l ( mother in law) is blackmailing u even if u havnt taken any dowry ( cash or gift for urself, not the personal valuables like jewellery and clothes ur wife got) from ur in laws then return it back to them. Also make sure u make a white transaction ( through bank) so u have a strong proof of it.

    If u havnt taken any money then i would suggest u to meet an attorney in this regard. There r special advocates who take such cases and no1 will b able to guide u better. They will study ur case in detail and plan an appropriate course of action. Do not let her hold u on ransom. U deserve to live a peaceful and independent life.

    I havnt really bothered to do any research on this topic in particular so plz c a lawyer b4 u do anything about it.

  5. This is an Islamic answers website right? I don't understand why there is a picture of a woman like that? Is that halal for the men to see? Please explain. Thank you

    • Warrior, I have replaced the image.

      Wael Editor

      • Thank you..for your own benefit and everyone else's brother please try to pay attention to is annoying going to an Islamic webpage and having to come across these things, and I'm sure this website will have much more barakah in it without these extra things..I am sure you must be more knowledgable than I am about us not seeing the opposite sexes awrah and related matters..just wanted to point it out for all of our benefit, I'm far from being a saint myself

  6. Brother,

    This picture is about Plant called Mother in Law's Tongue (probably named by some sacrastic people because plant has long and sharp leafs ) and nothing to do with woman.
    Why this picture disturbs you?

    • The picture has been changed had a woman in it whose awrah was I'm not a saint or anything like that..just wanted to point it out for the greater good for everyone using this website..I just feel that as an Islamic advice website the moderators should be a little cautious when selecting images, as some images of women are not permissible for us men to see..I can't say I am perfect as I do come across these images elsewhere on the internet and also I do need to try harder to lower my gaze insha Allah..however I just pointed this out for the moderators and the users to benefit insha Allah, as this IS an ISLAMIC website..

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