Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I do nikah with my boyfriend without witnesses

secret nikah

i want to do my nikah with my boyfriend as we both do not want to commit any more sins, we have been told that when it comes to doing nikah then to go for it because it is islamicly right.. is there anyway we can do it without witnesses coz we want to be discreet about it please let me know asap! thank you

- latifa123

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188 Responses »

  1. Sister Sara shared with us the following:

    Assalaam alaikum

    As far as I know, one of the conditions of a valid marriage is that it must be done openly. The husband and wife must be known as a husband and wife. Secret marriages are not valid in Islam.
    Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “There is no (young) woman who got married without the consent of her guardian except that the marriage will be invalid.”

    For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met:

    1) Consent of both parties.
    2) "Mahr" - a gift from the groom to the bride.
    3) Witnesses.
    4) The marriage should be publicized. (It should never be kept secret as this can lead to suspicion and troubles within the community.)

    taken from

    Please dont consider a secret marriage as its not valid. Also it will come out in the end, and may cause even more problems.

    You can take a look to this post too, insha´Allah,

    All my Unconditional Respect,

    María Editor

  2. if you are descreet about it then it is not marriage.
    the fact that you want to be secretive makes me assume it is a temporary fornication, forgive me if i am wrong, if it is proper marriage then make it open, let there be witnesses and do it in the mosque even if ur parents are against it! if it is just fornication then examin your heart repent and leave each other! And allah knows best!

    the witnesses are important

    • i understand where you are coming from but what would you advise the sister to do if she is having difficulty in preventing her from commiting zina with her boyfriend? i am in a similar situation and am thinking the same.
      i cannot even dare to tell my parents about nikah as of yet (older brothers left to marry - cultural thing for them to get married first) and she cannot too for the same reasons as me. we both get on very well and have understood to be together but find it impossible to avoid interaction with each other (talking, phone calls, meeting up).we have tried many times but it does not work hence the thought of doing a secret nikah between ourselves to stop ourselves from commiting any sin.

      im sure sister latifa123 will agree with me when i say this but, if you are still going to interact would you not see this secrect nikah as a step/form of correction? trying to make a haaram situation halaal?

      i apologise for having mixed my own story in here when i should have answered her question but i am in a similar situation and felt the need to talk.


      • Mr....,

        How can you make a haraam situation halaal by doing something haraam? You cannot. Rasul(sws) said that 'a nikah without a wali is invalid, invalid, invalid'.

        Both of you need to tell your parents that you want to marry. If you feel that you cannot or have tried your level best (i.e. spoken to relatives and Imams for support) but they still will not agree, then you must both be patient by keeping away from each other until such a time comes that they do agree. When you cannot change a situation, the Quran and Sunnah tell us to be patient. This situation is exactly the type in which one needs to practice 'sabr/patience'. What else is patience for?

        Allah(swt) states in Surah Al Baqarah 2:183: “O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint.” So use this blessed month to practice patience. If you can do it in Ramadan, you can do through the year aswell.

        If you choose to ignore this advice and continue to convince yourselves that doing a nikah in secret is halaal, you are decieving no-one but yourselves.

        SisterZ Editor

        • yes You are right Both of you need to tell your parents that you want to marry. If you feel that you cannot or have tried your level best (i.e. spoken to relatives and Imams for support) but they still will not agree, then you must both be patient by keeping away from each other until such a time comes that they do agree. When you cannot change a situation, the Quran and Sunnah tell us to be patient. This situation is exactly the type in which one needs to practice 'sabr/patience'. What else is patience for?

          • Salam Alaikum

            I'm writing this message not to disrespect anyone, or make them feel bad about anything. But every feed I get from this thread is about "can I marry my boyfriend/girlfriend without witnesses?" This question has been asked so many times, and the answer will always be NO you can't. You need witnesses, it's for your own good. Your unique situation, whatever it may be, does not give you a pass to have nikkah without witnesses, nikkah requireis witnesses otherwise it is no good. I'm sorry but the rules do not change from person to person, unless you do not have a wali (father/guardian figure) and you have such unique circumstances then seek the help of a local imam. But hiding things from your families might give you what you want in the short run, but in the long run you'll put yourself in a very ugly situation that may lead you to regret ever meeting one another. Part of being in love with someone is having to wait, and if he/she cares about you they'll wait. If not, you don't need that person. PERIOD. Please look out for yourself AND your families.

        • Is hadees ka refrence b bta do bhai invalid wali ka.n gawah b laZmi hain iska b if ur true.

          • Its not right. Cuz wali ka koi haq ni banta .. ye recommended tu ho sakta hai lekin obligation kabhi b ni a. Nikah ka right sirf krnay walay ka hota a. Even parents cant stop it. Is mamlay me unkay against jana b gunah ni. Though ahsan tareeqa ye e a k wo b razi hon. Lekin if they force u for nikah tu wo invalid b hai n gunah b on behalf of parents... awin na islam ko or khencho. Its a religion of comon sense

          • The fact of the matter is that a mature couple do not need the consent or presence of a wali as this creates an unnecessary burden on the couple who want to enter into nikah but face an impediment from certain persons.

      • Mr.....
        One simple question for you - ask your heart honestly: How would you feel if a man wanted such a relationship with your sister?

        IF you have even a tiny grain-sized of fear of Allah in your heart, you will know the answer.

      • as far as I have heard, one can have Allah as a witness if no human witness is available or ready to accept ur relationship. because Nikah is actually a bond and promise between two people, not between the witnesses. witnesses are to keep that noticed so that none of the two can back off this relationship and make complications in future.
        If doing Nikah can prevent worse sins than its better to do it any way.
        your state wants a paper witness only. Judicial witness is the paper which you sign, social and ethical witnesses are those two human beings.
        I am only quoting what I hve heard I do not have any refrence from Hadees or Quran for this. though I am searching for it.

        • Salaams,

          Two witnesses are required for an Islamic nikkah to be valid. There are no exceptions to this, and no scholar has given a fatwa contrary to this. Allah will not suffice as "the witness" if two human beings cannot be present, and that's probably why you won't find any hadith/ayats supporting the view you've heard. It's incorrect.


        • Logically the best answer. !!

      • I want to nikah with my boyfriend...plz tell me that i can do or not

        • Salaams,

          Please log in and submit your question with more details so you can get a more accurate answer. No one will be able to advise you without knowing all the aspects- like whether or not he is Muslim, whether your family is accepting, etc.


          • if the female is in menses or period so she can set in nekha or not ?????please tell me my answer

          • @ahmed,

            Yes. She can set in the nikah while in her menses or period. However, she can't be divorced after nikah while in her menses or period.

          • Slam.i had done nikah withoiut witneses..someone told my husband that it is valid whn we do nikah in the witness of Allah..we made Allah as a wiutness coz iur family doesnot know about our relationship..n i dont want to do zinna..we r in relationship for last one then i came to know tht it is not valid??what should i do know?what is its kafaraa??

          • Your marriage sounds like it is invalid. A proper nikah in Islam requires a wali for the bride, witnesses, payment of mahr, and publicization of the marriage. There is no secret marriage in Islam. There is no kaffarah. Instead, you need to immediately have a correct nikah, with your family involved.


      • Salam alikum is allah enough fo nikah witness or na ?

        • mujib, read the answers given on the post. Nikah has requirements, and one of them is witnesses. Do not make a joke out of the deen.


  3. The purpose of a nikah in Islam is to protect the WOMAN - that is how much respect Islam gives women. It is easy for a guy to do a "secret" nikah with you and leave you after using your body - sorry, I am telling you like it is. Have respect for your body that Allah gave you. A man is RESPONSIBLE for you - a secret nikah, is NOT valid, and is no different than the mutaa ect being practiced in the name of Islam in Egypt etc. Nikah HAS to have witnesses for YOUR PROTECTION.

    If it has to be a secret relationship then there is something VERY wrong with that relationship in the world's eyes and most importantly in Allah's eyes - who ARE you trying to fool with such a situation? Allah? Allah who has given you your rights which you are throwing away for lust and trying to justify the lust by twisting Allah's laws? Please do NOT deceive and lie to yourself and make your akhirah bad for yourself for a few moments of guilty pleasure of this brief worldly life ! I beg you.

    • Well said Serendipity!

      SisterZ Editor

      PS: I love the name 'Serendipity'! ;O)

      • hi can anyone advise me, im new to this site and ive put a question forward over a week ago which is still pending and not published yet, im wondering if i have submitted the comment correctly. can anyone advise as i really require help with my problem.

        • pinkpink, we are currently publishing posts from mid July, so we will get to yours in turn Insha'Allah. That may seem like a long wait, but we are down from the three month wait we used to have! (Thanks to the hard work of my fellow Editors).


    • Yar i also have a confusion.Me and my bf also did nikah and i'm confused about the way did it.
      My bf msgd two of our frnds to ask me if i accept him against mehr 'amount' and i replied positive.
      Is this nikah valid or reply pls

      • Roja, this doesn't make sense to me and doesn't sound like any kind of nikah. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, and give us more details so we can advise you properly, Insha'Allah.

        Wael Editor

        • Hello

          I am married and love a girl now. This my wife knows and is against that. Even i asked my wife that i want Nikah with her, but does not agree.

          (Remainder of question has been removed. Please login and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - Wael, Editor)

          • u can always go for it even with out the consent of your 1st wife..however if it has been mentioned in your 1st nikkah that u can only go for 2nd after the concent of ur 1st wife the state's law applies. In sharia its not nec.

      • bfrnd, gfnd? what is it? you guys are screwed up. There is no boyfriend or girlfriend in Islam. Open your eyes. There is a husband and wife. Period. Do not liken yourself to non-believers. Unbelievable! bfrnd and grlfnd in Islam is zina! Period.

      • no its not valid method of nikha

  4. Assalamu alaykum,

    JazakumAllau khair for all the sincere advice.

    What we often do when we hear such stories is that we give our advice without putting oursleves in the persons shoe therefore our advices often lack empathy.

    Sister latifa123, Sister Mr.... I understand how hard your struggling with your nafs, how hard it must be to control yourself and not commit any sins. Both my beloved sisters be happy because Allah swt loves you thats why His made you aware of your actions otherwise He could have let you go astry but it is only out of His mercy Alhamdulillah!!!

    My advice is the same as what the other sisters have said be patient and occupy yourself with the love of Allah swt and everytime you fall make tawbah straight way as Allah swt loves those that turn to Him.

    May Allah swt make the difficult easy for you!

  5. Is nikkah possible on message without witnesses ????????????

    • What do you mean by 'nikah on message'? Is this a new tech way of doing nikah? Whatever it is, it sounds terribly wrong. And if one finds themself having to do nikah without witnesses, then there is more than likely something hugely immoral about the whole thing. If you wish for specific advice, please log in and submit your question as a separate post making sure to add more detail.

      SisterZ Editor

  6. Assalamu Alaikum
    i agree with all answers to the above question but i feel that the sister can not follow any of them. i can suggest one thing and inshaa allah it works. both spouses should tell parents that they love each other and they want to get engaged ONLY. the islamic engagement is completely marriage. how long the engagment period lasts doesnt matter but they at least can enjoy as if they are married and all muslims around will know that they are engaged and no one will doubt or accuse them of anything. here i advise the sister latifa123 that she should be 100% sure that her boyfriend is really honest and good person . she also should not give him full freedom or full enjoyment. she should try to spend less time with him. otherwise, after all intertainment and enjoyment he might think of divorce before wedding and this what always happens. most men divorce after they get bored with their wives. if you ask me if accept this for my sister i will say NO but it is still Halal
    wassalamu alaikum

    • mr. saf, what do you mean, "the islamic engagement is completely marriage." And, "at least can enjoy as if they are married"...?

      This doesn't make sense to me.

      Wael Editor

      • he wanted to say "u may have nikah instead of complete shadi (incl ruksati, waleema etc)"

        • Ah. Well Nikah is complete marriage - not merely engagement - and the waleema is strongly recommended. The "rukhsati" is irrelevant, though it always seemed strange to me that a couple would get married and then not live together.


  7. Even i want to know about nikah with non muslim is halal or not. He believes in humanity and his that attitude inspired me and i fell in love with him. we did secret nikah and i have confusion regarding this and we made love with each other too. Can you suggerst me how to confirm.

    • Nikah with a non muslim is HARAM ( FORBIDDEN ), astaghfirullah sister, inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon.

      Allah (SWT) said: "And do not marry your womenfolk to disbelieving men until they believe. A believing slave is better that a polytheist even though the latter may please you . . ."

      and also "Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire" [Al Baqarah]

      Forget about your question regarding " Secret nik'ah " because firstly Islam never allow women to marry a non muslim. If they did, the marriage is VOID and they are living under SIN SIN SIN everyday while staying together under one roof. Since you mentioned that you made love too, SO under islamic rule, you have commited fornications and thats a major sin. So If you are a sincere muslimah, then leave this man for good and start repenting sincerely and immidiately before DEATH comes knocking at your door. Your sins which are evident are : Disobeying Allah (SWT), breaching Islamic law, commited fornication of all forms. So start regretting and repenting. Or else CRY for the condition you brought yourself in the hereafter and I feel sorry for you sister.

      Your so called " husband" , seems to have a noble character , but because he is committing high treason against his Creator ( ALLAH ( SWT) ), by rejecting Him, or by associating partners to Him, then no matter how good a character he has or how much of service he renders to others, it will not be valid in the sight of Allah (SWT) because the “High Treason” – the Kufr and Shirk, by far, exceed all limits of disobedience, for which there can be no bail or parole. His good deeds in this world is but like a drop of ink in an ocean which has to value in the sight of Allah (SWT) and his resting place is hellfire.

      I know it must be dificult for you to leave that man, but if you want your hereafter to be jannah then you will have to severe all ties with this man. I'm not trying to hurt you, and i'm also not saying that he will not be a muslim, I pray that Allah (SWT) guides him to Islam. But sister, you have to Trust, trust, trust in Allah (SWT). Insha'Allah, He will open doors for you and give you a pious muslim huband and set up an Islamic home with muslim kids insha'Allah and then Insha'ALlah you hereafter will be safe from the TORTUROUS BURING DESTRUCTIVE HELL FIRE.

      • Correction 19th line- " Which has NO NO NO value in the sight of Allah (SWT)...."

  8. I need help please. I had secret nikkah nearly two years ago. There was imam and one witness. Can someone please confirm if this is valid? I have been told by some imams this is not valid but some imams say it is valid. My parents do not know. Me and husband argue over this all the time as we do not agree.i have asked husband to get nikkahnama from the imam but he does not as I wanted to get this checked by a scholar to see if what we done is valid. My parents had no issues with us getting married and nor did his parents but we didn't wait and I just want to do right and face up to consequences.

    • Missh, I would tell you to log in and write your question as a separate post, but I can tell you right now that we cannot answer your question. We are not scholars or muftis. If you have asked several Imams already then asking us is superfluous. My suggestion is that if you have a doubt about the validity of your nikah, then do a new, proper one.

      Wael Editor

    • It actually depends on which school of thought you are following.

      Here's one hadith- Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage except with a wali and two witnesses of good character.”

      If you follow Imam Abu Hanifa, Then wali is not compulsory but 2 witnesses is needed.

      If Imam Shafi'i, then wali is needed along with two witnesses. Marriage is void without wali according to Shafi'i.

      Just do a new one, there is no harm. !!

  9. Thank you for response. I appreciate it alot. I will have a look into it further. Do you know if an imam can be a witness? As we only had imam and one witness. I really appreciate the information you have provided.

  10. If its agreed upon, YES !!

    Well, since he accepted to perform your nik'ah, means he considered himself as a witness. Or else He would of asked for one more witness.

    But just to be on the safe side, Do it again, NO HARM NO FOUL 😀

    • Asalamou alaikoum. Masha Allah,am glad hearing about advised helpfull concernant nikah.its true being needed of two witness for nikah.

  11. Thank you. May you have a very blessed Ramadan.

  12. i am in love with a is she.....we want to get married according to teachings of abu-hanfia...but we cant tell out parents unless we do somthing big in our lives....but we cant even stop each other from being together.....what should we do?who could b the possible witness?and what is the way of getting we could be away from sins...we both by heart recognise each other as husband and wife

    • There is no such thing as recognizing each other by heart as husband and wife. If you are not legally married in Islam then you are mahrem for each other and any intimacy between you is haram. Take responsibility for your own behavior and do not say, "we can't stop". This is Ramadan, a time of self-restraint. Have some consciousness of Allah.

      If you want detailed advice, please log in adn write your question as a separate post.

      Wael Editor

  13. I'm a student lawyer. I have read Muslim Famliy law.
    There are three kinds of marriage, 1) valid , 2) void and 3) irregular
    nikah without witnesses randers marriage irregular but not void
    and irregular marriage can be turned into vaild marriage later by producing witnesses
    and an irregular marriage imposes certain rights and obligations on both contracting parties.

    • Hey bro .. May i know what are those certain obligations and rights on spouses according to islam after irregular marriage ?? or nikkah wdout witnesses ??

  14. AoA dear bro's & sis's
    I'm confuse,I love my gF & she also loves me too much..
    The question is that,can I do nikah without telling our parents..
    In Islam,meh ram is required from both the parties.can a cousin,ant or sistr be the mehram required for nikah??
    Plx reply

    • Bro.,

      A Mahram is required from the girl's side. And two witnesses are necessary for the Nikah.

      Although it is the case, one should not hasten to make such decisions. Obey your parents as long as they act in line with the Sharee'ah.

      If you need further advise, please login and submit your question separately.

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

    • Wa'alaykumsalam,

      First of all its haram to have gf in Islam, therefore either marry her in halal way or leave her for good. By continuing this illegal relationship, you are only inviting Allah's wrath and punishments. Take heed.

      Secondly, NO you cannot do nikah without telling her parents. She need wali's permission. By marrying her without her parents permission will make the marriage void/null/invalid. Therefore constituting a zina relationship which is a terrible and grave sin.

      Thridly, a wali is her father. Wali has to be a senior male member within her family. Wali cannot be a sister or aunt or any female.

  15. Assalam-o-Alaikum
    I wanna ask something..
    i did nikah with my bf just bcz i dnt like bf n gf type reltaionx n they are not allowed in islam..
    he asked me on call that u accept me as a husband? nd i said yes 3 times then i told this to my khala, cxns n sis nd they said now u are married..

    • Zee,

      This does not count as Nikah. You are not married to him. In order to marry, you need permission of your Wali, two witnesses over the Nikah, and most importantly, Nikah needs to be done - by a Qaadhi/Imam.

      Only accepting the other on phone as a husband does not get you married.

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

    • Nope you are not married. For a marriage to be valid, you need your wali's ( father ) permission, dowry, 2 witnesses. If even one of them is missing your marriage is void/null/invalid. So in your case its invalid. Therefore, If you really want to marry him then tell him to approach your family and insha'Allah marry him in Islamic way. If its not possible, then know that pre-marital relationship is also haram in Islam. By marrying him the way you did, it constitute a zina relationship and Allah's punishment and curse will fall on you both. Therefore, take heed and do everything halal insha'Allah. Pray salat al istikhara for guidance insha'Allah.

      • How can i do Istakhara?

        • I was confused 🙁 actually my aunty said u are married infact i asked it from my Shariah and law Dean who is from Saudia..
          He said it is valid bcx u have witnesses of ur aunty her husband ur 2 male cxns also ur sis knows about ur nikah but i was confused thats y i ask it from u..

          • N By God i didnt mean

          • Islam forbids a woman to get married without a wali (guardian), and it regards a marriage contract done without a wali as invalid. For a marriage to be valid, you need your parents permission. Infact wali's ( father ) permission is obligatory without which you cannot get married. I'm not sure about the new unislamic method of marriage through 'mobile', but if it exists then you need to have witnessess with you ( either 2 pious male or 4 pious female ) and your parents and your ' bf ' needs to have witnesses too. If you informed your extended families only later without them being physically present with you at the time of talking to your bf, then most certainly it won't count ( invalid).

            It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. ( Sunan Abu Dawood )

            “There is no marriage except with a guardian.” (Tirmidhi)

            Narrated byAbu Hurayrah
            Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman may not give another woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage; for the immoral woman is the one who gives herself in marriage."

            The Islamic way of marriage must require you, the groom, your and his family , witnessess and an Imam to conduct the nikkah all present in one place prefebly in masjid.

            Are you parents alive sister ?

            Does your bf family knows that he wants to marry you or is it a secret ?

            Obeying parents is a duty of every muslims.

        • “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Qur’aan. He said: ‘If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to make, then let him pray two rak’ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then say:

          اللهم إني أستخيرك بعلمك وأستقدرك بقدرتك و أسألك من فضلك العظيم فإنك تقدر و لا أقدر و تعلم و لا أعلم و أنت علام الغيوب اللهم إن كنت تعلمأن هذا الأمر خير لي في ديني و معاشي و عاقبة أمري او عاجل أمري و آجله فاقدره لي و يسره لي ثم بارك لي فيه و إن كنت تعلم أن هذا الأمر شر لي في ديني و معاشي و عاقبة أمري أو عاجل أمري و آجله فاصرفه عني واصرفني عنه واقدر لي الخير حيث كان ثم أرضني به

          Allaahumma inni astakheeruka bi ‘ilmika wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika wa as’aluka min fadlika, fa innaka taqdiru wa laa aqdir, wa ta’lamu wa laa a’lam, wa anta ‘allaam al-ghuyoob. Allaahumma fa in kunta ta’lamu haadha’l-amra (then the matter should be mentioned by name or think about the matter) khayran li fi ‘aajil amri wa aajilihi wa fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li thumma baarik li fihi. Allaahumma wa in kunta ta’lamu annahu sharrun li fi deeni wa ma’aashi wa ‘aaqibati amri wa fi ‘aajili amri wa aajilihi fasrifni ‘anhu wasrafhu ‘anni waqdur li al-khayr haythu kaana thumma radini bihi

          (O Allaah, I seek Your guidance [inmaking a choice] by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allaah, if in Your knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good for me both in this world and in the Hereafter and in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it isbad for me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs and for me both in this world and the next, then turn me away from it, and turn it away from me, and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.)

  16. Please, give me some solutions for marring secretly in Islam. I want to ask with two witnesses, Imam and maher will the nikah be valid in certain sense?

    Please give the solutions for marraige with things I have mentioned.

  17. Seems like everyone wants to do nikaah now a days in order to have legal sex, really is that what nikah all about ? nikaah means family and family means mutually accepted decisions which means you have to ask your family members to help you and support you and be there for you in the nikah. No wonder divorce rate is high now a days, people commit to a pious act like nikah with weird intentions then don't get along or cheat on one another with some one else who seems to be more charming. If you are sincere with your lover/bf/gf/whatever first off you won't indulge in physical activities unless you have made it legal in the eyes of Allah, family, society. because such relationships are based on respect for one another. And I don't know if it's just me but I think secretly done nikah are never successful because you make Allah angry and when you make Allah angry how can you have his blessings and without his blessings how will you succeed in life.

    I am sorry if my words offended anyone.

    Assalam o alaikum!

    • still I will ask that if a nikah conducted by an immam, with maher and two witnesses from a girl and a boy side and their parents dont know about it. so will it be accepted as nikah?????????

      Please reply

      • No, It will be INVALID/VOID. In Islam, For a marriage to be valid you need your ' wali ' ( Father ) permission.

        Narrated byAbu Hurayrah
        Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman may not give another woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage; for the immoral woman is the one who gives herself in marriage. "

        It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. ( Sunan Abu Dawood )

        “There is no marriage except with a guardian.” (Tirmidhi)

        Nevertheless, marrying in secret is unIslamic. It is dangerous and will lead to destruction.

        • I for one always heard and thought that consent of both parties is the most important rule.
          for eg. if a boy and girl both desperately love each other but parents are not agreeing at all, infact the girl's father tries to forcefully marry her to another man who she does not consent to and in these conditions if the girl and boy run away and do court marriage then is it not right.? what u people are saying that it is haram?
          millions of people out of desperation do court marriage and they are legal and islamic, with lawyer and consent but not necessarily consenting parents so are all those legal marriages void?

          Islam gives liberty to individuals under rules but i don't think so that it makes us slaves of our parents.
          if parents take our sharai- right of marrying by choice then they are wrong instead of us who desperately want to marry. nikah.. for good and for forever as encouraged by ALLAH's messenger.

          • for eg. if a boy and girl both desperately love each other but parents are not agreeing at all, infact the girl's father tries to forcefully marry her to another man who she does not consent to and in these conditions if the girl and boy run away and do court marriage then is it not right.? what u people are saying that it is haram?

            Then she could ask other male members of her family from father's side to be her wali. If still they deny with no reason whatsoever, then an imam or qadhi or etc can act as her wali.

            millions of people out of desperation do court marriage and they are legal and islamic, with lawyer and consent but not necessarily consenting parents so are all those legal marriages void?

            Oh honestly there are millions of muslimas who marry without their father's permission, some didn't even ask for permission, some asked and got denied with valid reason but they didn't heed etc their marriage is not valid according to sharia.

    • U re right sis .. Due to media and other things we just dont want marriages n mutual decisions and we need a lisence to sex legly . its true !!

  18. Hi, My bf was a christian but he accepted islam because he respects me as a muslim woman and he knows i cannot get married to a non muslim and he is also practising so he didnt only accept islam just to be married. However, my mother does not agree because he is of mixed race but my father agrees. Is it still ok for us to Nikah?

  19. Aslam o alikum
    7 month before I went to Nepal where I meet my friend M
    She was Hindu and her husband divorce her and took her 7 y old . BCz he
    Force her to work in I unrespect place ( a dance bar) and earn money for him but
    she refused to work on that place and he divorced her.
    That time when I met her she told me whole her story , after that I explain her
    What is the respect of women in islam I give her Dawat to become muslim
    Which she accept Because she don't have any more relative accept her Hindu mother
    I had done nikkah with her in nepal but the thing is that during nikkah she and me we both was alone
    And we don't find any muslim person over there I read nikkah my self and offer
    Ring as mahhar and I ask her 3 time (qabul)which she accepts. I want to ask question
    1 does our nikkah has valid
    2 we done nikkah in pokhara Nipal where we haven't find any masjid
    Or any muslim
    3 I give her my name and now whole her Hindu family know we both are married
    Couple. And she is muslim girl
    But I see every where that there is no nikkah without witness

    I only spend 10 days in Nepal Now she is very happy over there she is waiting
    Me as my wife . She reading Islamic books . And she searching the muslim places
    Over there . she trying to change as Islamic lady
    Plz plz advice me is our nikkah is valid ?
    Jaza kumula khair

  20. Hi I wanted to ask if this so called secret nikah valid if the girl and boy are engaged to each other and their families accepted it and plan to do there marriage after few years? I mean in the mean time can they do nikaah without telling there families??

    • As per I know it's still not allowed because girls need wali. By the way if you both and family agree to this relation then why don't you both do nikha can live own parents then after few years you both stay together by this you both wont be in any sins because you both will be husband and wife.

      • Thanks for the response sister. We tried to convince our parents for Nikah, but all those society things came between. The girl's elder sister is not married so her family thought it would look odd if they do nikah of their younger daughter. That's the problem, but we both know there is no such thing as engagement in Islam and we both are NaMehram for each other. So that's why we thought of this thing because our families are not getting our point! Any suggestions would be appreciated!


        • Brother I see no other solution to your relation. Just request to do nikha and she can stay in her parents house until her elder sister get married. Sometimes it makes me sad that some parents don't understand that without nikha boy and girl can commit something which may sees as sin because they are not husbabd and wife. 

  21. SALAM

  22. Assalamualaikum.
    I need some urgent help from an aalim or a mufti. I have a hanaf'i guy and i married a hanafi girl. the marriage took place without the knowledge of the walis of both parties. I have actually came across a book of Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi Rahmatullah Alaihi, on the website
    here in this book moulana said ''If both the man and woman are mature, they can perform their own nikah. All that they have to do is say the following in the presence of two witnesses: One of them must say: "I am making my nikah with you" and the other must say : "I accept." In so doing, the nikah will be valid.''
    So now how can i legalise my nikah because i did not appointed any Qazi. only 4 people were present at the time of nikah.

    • Sam, an Imam or Qadi is not strictly required, but the presence of a wali is definitely required for a woman, especially if she is a virgin. Also, the payment of mahr from the groom to the bride, and publicizing the marriage (with a waleemah).

      I cannot tell you if your nikah is valid or not. If you have doubts about it, re-do it with the bride's wali present.

      Wael Editor

  23. Dear bro..

    I did nikah with my gf on phone without any qazi or witnesses.. is it a valid marriage if we both recognize husband and wife heartly...
    please tell me
    thank you

    • Salaams,

      There is NO valid nikkah without witnesses. You can't "recognize" each other as married and believe that's all that counts. Allah is very clear on the fiqh for marriage, and what is needed for a nikkah to be valid.

      -Amy Editor

  24. AOA !
    I need Some help urgent if some one nikah on phone without telling family but latter on family are agree then we nikah again in the presence of family without telling them our phone nikah

    • Wasaalam brother Khan,

      There is no such thing as secret or double Nikkah in Islam. Presence of Wali is a must for girl, otherwise such marriage is not recognized in Islam unless Wali refuses the marriage for non-Islamic reason. In which case guardianship will pass on to next relative and so on. Read the advice already given.

      Muhammad1982,, Editor.

  25. plz reply me about my problem. I have done nikah with my boyfriend without parents permission.
    my nikah just verbally me and my boyfriend with two witnesses. but witnesses was not my side.
    I am not satisfy about my nikah
    I want again proper nikah with papers and parents permission.
    can I do this plz help me in this problem

    • jeni, if you want a proper nikah then get your parents involved and do it properly. There's no reason why you can't re-do it.

      Wael Editor


    • salih, you are mistaken. Some scholars say that a divorced woman does not need a wali. However, she still needs witnesses and all the other conditions of nikah.

      Wael Editor

      • Br. Wael,

        You are correct. My husband and I were both divorced prior to our marriage, and since I was older (40's) and lived independently I was not required by the Imam to have a wali. However, my husband was required to pay mahr, and we were required to have witnesses in order for our nikah to be valid.

        We kept our marriage Islamically simple which was so refreshing. Just the nikah, then a simple dinner with a small group of family members. No dresses, no 3 day party extravaganza, no over the top sets of gold, no gifts for family members and none of the hoopla normally associated with weddings in my husband's culture or mine here in the west. Islam is so very simple, and weeding out "cultural wedding norms" (be it western or desi) gave us both great happiness on that very special day.

  27. I need some advice can I do Nikkah without telling my mum my dad is pass away my girl friend dad is pass away to she is Gujarati Muslim and am a Pakistan Muslim the problem is her mum don't like Pakistani and my mum can't stand Gujarati to. We love each other both mature.

    1. she divorced does she need permission from her mum?
    2. Phone nikkah can that be valid ?
    3. Can we do secret marriage?
    4. Do I need any1 permisson?

    • Salaams,

      To quickly answer your questions:

      1. There is scholarly support for the idea that if a woman has divorced, she may represent her own interests without a wali if she marries again. In this case, she would NOT need her mom's permission to marry.

      2. You will have to clarify what you mean by 'phone nikkah'. You still need witnesses, so how would they be available? How would the imam officiate?

      3. Secret marriages are not advised. Yes they happen, but if you are trying to follow the way of Prophet Muhammad SAWS you won't have a secret marriage.

      4. Males do not need anyone's permission to marry.

      Amy Editor

  28. Its funny how people have accepted nikah as a way to clear out their Zina.
    Its not a way out, it is still sinful. Please read the list of the different sins in islam and their effects on your life ( the after life effects, every one is aware of)

    As for the culture of Bf and Gf, i am not sure on this but, how can you get into a halal relationship (Nikah) when its initiation has been a haram one?

    Food for thought.
    Hope you get what is best for your in this life and the aakhirah!
    Salam sister.

    • "how can you get into a halal relationship (Nikah) when its initiation has been a haram one?"

      It's always wrong to do the wrong thing, but it's never wrong to do the right thing. In fact, Allah tells us in the Quran to follow a bad deed with a good one.

      Wael Editor

  29. 1. I mean if Imam over the phone can you still do nikaah?

    2. Do we need 1 witness each ?

    3. Can imam have his witnesses over the phone if we can't find any witnesses?

    • nikkah is an agreement b/w bride and groom,and for any agrement it is stated in QURAN that there must b some witness,now wiitness could be a piece of paper of agrement,which contain information of agrement,bieng specific for nikkah piece of a paper in which details of both bride n groom must b written,both should accept these details and no 1 should deny after some time......

  30. How many witnesses do I need for me and my bride ?

  31. Help me please
    I wanted to a nikah with mu boyfriend his has no family apart frm his aunty n younger brother n sister
    Can he have his mates/younger brother as a witness?
    My problem is that I havnt seen my dad for 10year n my mum doesn't want to be a witness same with my brothers what can I do help me

    • Yasmin, the problem is not the witnesses - any two adult Muslims can act as witnesses - but the lack of a wali. You must be represented by your wali for your nikah to be valid. Please log in and write your question as a separate post and give us more information about your situation - for example why can't your brother act as wali? - and we will answer in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

  32. I feel Islam as a simple religion. I have said many times for marriage to my parents. They are not agree now because I am just 21. What other solution is available? What actually is meant by secret? Wali can be father, brother, nearest uncle or Khalifa e Waqt (I understand it as a government now) so isn't government acting when you do court marriage with Nikah?

  33. Salaams to all,

    First of all I am very disappointed the fact that not one of you has made the same approach the Prophet saw or his companions did when someone came to them about a sin. For example, a person urinated in a masjid, how did the Prophet saw react?? Did he went and said how dare you? Did he say this is a major sin? Did he shun the person?

    Majority of you have shunned the sisters and forbade her to commit sin. We all talk of following Quran and sunnah, yet from all the comments I have seen, not a single person has said the correct thing or used hikmah to answer the question in the way it should.

    And the reason why this is, because none of the people here are scholars or have ijazah to give comments or make an islamic judgement. People need to be very careful, the Companions were very careful when they gave out advice or gave a judgement. In fact, they were very careful quoting Quran etc. Amazing to see few of you have quoted hadiths, but have no deeper knowledge of the hadith, such as the 15 types of knowledge required to understand verses of Quran and Hadith. There may be a hadith stating something but the sunnah may actually be something different, because a hadith is a report, not Sunnah!

    Ask yourselves this, would you go to a website and ask people medical questions about something serious who are not doctors or those who have no qualifications in medicine? Making any judgements without the correct knowledge or even with the right knowledge but no qualification is a major sin. We all know this, yet everyone is happy giving their 2 bit.

    As for the sisters who have asked the question about secret wedding, first of all, don't ask such questions on websites or consult Sheikh Google. Consult a local scholar who can give you the correct answer with the right understanding. True sunnah method is asking someone who is qualified to answer the question. Same way you would go to a GP to ask a medical question about your health when you have a serious illness.

    To answer the one question posed by most people, is the nikah valid? Answer is the Hanafi school of thought follow a different opinion to the other 3 imams. One of you has answered this but it seems like people have ignored the answer. I suggest you all ask your local scholar pertaining to your fiqh whether nikah is valid or not.

    May Allah guide us all and forgive us for our weaknesses, and most of all give us Hikmah!

    A Student of Knowledge

  34. How does nikkah work if both do not have a wali?

    • I assume you mean if the girl and boy both don't have a wali--only a girl needs a wali. A boy doesn't need a wali to get married because he doesn't need anyone's permission.

  35. Is it ok to be physically close to my bf as we are in a relationship frm 3 yrs bt as v r very close physically n our marriage is yet to b done aftr 3 yrs(aftr my graduation) is it ok if v do nikaah secretly(as i dun wanna have any more jinaah) v have witness too

    • Naaf, the answer to both questions is no. It is not acceptable to be physically close to your boyfriend before marriage. It is haram to have any physical contact with him whatsoever. And Islam does not allow secret marriages. The nikah is invalid without a wali for the woman.

      Wael Editor

  36. Btw what is a wali

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Your wali is your male guardian, who has a duty to ensure your safety and wellbeing. For most women, your closest male Muslim relative will be considered your wali - so, if your father is alive, he is your wali.

      If you have no living male relatives who are Muslim, then an imam can be approached to act as your wali so that a marriage proposal can be considered. Quite a lot of sisters who have reverted to Islam find that they need to have an imam act as their wali until they are married.

      There are circumstances in which a person is deemed unable to be your wali (eg. if they are consistently refusing proposals for un-Islamic reasons, if they are abusing you... - may Allah protect us from such acts). In these situations, the role of wali would pass to your next-closest male Muslim relative, and if none can be your wali, then an imam can fulfil this role for you.

      Midnightmoon editor

  37. Yaa true.. But if v r engaged n v r gng to get married in 3 yrs n der ia lot of physical relation between us so just to not do jinaah cant v do nikaah secretly if i hv witnesses n if my brother knows about it

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Islam is clear on this matter.

      You should not be having intimate contact with your fiance. He only becomes halal for you once you have had your nikah.
      For nikah, you need your wali's consent. If your brother is your closest living male relative, then he would be your wali, but if your father is alive then your father is your wali (unless he has given up that right for some reason).

      By definition, nikah is not secret. Part of the point of nikah is to make a public statement that the man and woman are now halal for each other.

      Midnightmoon editor

  38. my gf accpet islam she is divorce hindu guy some time ago she will maary me and your father hindu wali without permission valid nikah can i do without withness nikah pls guide me easy maarage

    • altaf, there is no secret marriage or marriage without witnesses in Islam.

      Wael Editor

      • AoA..plzz tel me ..we can do nikah orally without any written statement ..jxt by reading nikah's kalmat...also have witness...but without the permission of parents..its just a secret it valid in islam???

        • anam, the bride must be represented by her wali, otherwise there is no nikah. The wali would normally be her father. There is no secret marriage in Islam.


  39. Assalaam alaikum

    • zobia, wa alaykum as-salam. I deleted your question because you need to register and submit it as a separate post, which we will answer in turn, Insha'Allah. I can tell you now that there is no way you can marry this guy unless he converts to Islam. No matter what excuses or rationales you try to apply, that's the bottom line.

      Wael Editor

  40. my situation is very different
    me and the girl i wanna marry . we both tried 3 years to convince our families
    and my family was happily agreed to marry me with her but her family refused again and again even they got agreed twice ..
    well at last we decided to do marriage secretly .
    i took nikah naama attested from union council . both witnesses signed it and also i managed to took signatures if girl ans i also signed that nikaah nama .
    as it was decided between us that she will disclose it if her parents refused again
    but she just left me at last and now she is marrying some one
    i wanna ask if we are married or not?
    as if we are married then she cant marry any other person 🙁 help please

    • Salaams,

      The short answer is if she didn't have a wali representing her, the marriage is not valid. And when I say wali, I mean her rightful wali like her dad. If her dad is refusing for unislamic reasons, there is a kinship line to be followed to be her wali. Not just anyone can act as one because her family wants to reject you.

      Also, you never mentioned a mahr. This is also needed for a marriage to be valid. Not just a few signatures and witnesses.

      -Amy Editor

  41. AoA,

    I have a question, With all thanks we are Muslim by birth. Living in Islamic country with Islamic culture. we have engagement some 1 and half year. We have very clear and legal engagement with a public status. Engagement is celebrated between two families with functions regularly done in engagements. She is talking on phone with me as well I before our parents permissions. Its very long since we talking on the phone. Our understanding and love causing us to have phone sex. I must clarify there is no physical sex and meeting each other.

    The question is " without proper marriage can we continue such activity" I think our marriage still need time due to few family problems.

    My knowledge says, " satisfying each other and fulfilling the need for time-pass will comparatively be okay"

  42. hi, i want to know that my boyfriend is from shia mazhab and i am from sunni andy parents are not accepting our relation because he is from shia mazhab, is nikah jaiz between sunni girl and shia boy

  43. my friend had nikah, his husband read the nikah and they have done without any witness. they assume witness to Allah to avoid unwanted happenings, now they are getting merried in real. please guide me are they did zina or that nikah is valid.

  44. Hello please answer my questions
    my family did not do actual nikkah for me they just exchanged rings between me and my husband then we had actual wedding ceremony with family and few relatives. Due to many family issues I put pressure on my family and they finally agreed to let us Mary. My parents were present and nobody objected during the wedding. At the time I was ignorant on whether nikkah is necessary if family agrees to the marriage then I assumed it was ok. And we have two kids now been married 9 years and my father passed away. Is my marriage accepted in Islam if my family including my father gave my hand in marriage? Pls help

    • mia, nikah has certain conditions, the most important of which are mutual consent of the bride and groom, the presence of the bride's wali, the presence of at least two witnesses. It sounds like those conditions were met. Payment of the mahr to the bride is also required. The rings may be said to have satisfied that condition, and Allah knows best. So while I am not a scholar, it certainly sounds like your marriage is valid.

      Wael Editor

      • And if there were no wali no witnesses and two people accepted each other as husbnd and wife in terms of nikah so if this nikah is not valid than can the girl do a real nikahwith someone else
        Cant this type if ikah made prblm for the real one
        And the nikah was just oraly said no other kind of relationship was done

        • mala, what you are describing (two people pledging to each other with no wali or witnesses) is not nikah. The two are not married, and their relationship is improper. So yes, they are free to marry anyone else.


        • Mala: Cant this type if ikah made prblm for the real one.

          Same problem like if people have sex before marriage.

  45. i love a girl! she is my class mate! we never met in private and never did a haram thing except talking to each other on phone! i really want to do nikkah with her. i want to know that who exactly can be our witness? like, can it be my cousins? and i cannot tell my parents about it n her father died and she cannot tell her mother. someone told me something about this 'mutah' thing! but, iam not sure about so please tell me what should i do? because i cannot wait

    • Mutah is haram. Why can't you tell your parents? And why can't she tell her mother? If you have done nothing haram then why can't you get married properly?

      Wael Editor

  46. the thing is that we know it that parents wont agree on this! and things will get worse if we even tell them that we are in love! i dont want to do nikkah to get physical with her! i just want it to do to talk to her. because i really cannot stop talking to her! she has a younger brother but he even wont agree on nikkah

  47. assalamalikum..........

    • saba, I deleted the remainder of your comment. Please register and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

  48. AsalamuAlykum friends
    i have a very simple and straightforward question..
    can nikah be performed without qazi?
    i mean with witnesses and families are present on the occasion, but ijab o qabul is done by bride and groom as of thr own at the occasion infront of everyone?

    • Aamir, a qadi is not necessary. It's nice to have someone recite some Quran and say some good words about marriage, but anyone can do it, really.

      Wael Editor

  49. my cousin girl did nikkkah secretly waithout appointing a wali....boy arranged two witnuessesand they did nikah on phorne it
    valid?ccccc plzzz helllp soon.....

  50. Wael I read all the answers given before but I need answer just according to my case please help mee. ....give me an answer that if this nikah is valid or not I need an answer for me.. ..plz plz plz for Allah sake explain me......Allahwill give you a good return of iit.. ...

  51. Let me tell you the all story. ...the matter is this that in a university a girl and boy loved each other. ...they decided to do nikah secretly on phone.. ..the girl and boy both told about this to only few friends of them.. ....then one day boy prepared qazi and two boy witnesses and all came to university. ...girl was in some other room of the same university. ...... she did not knew those witnesses. ...neither qari. ...she listened qazi and did qubooool on nikah. ....but girl have doubt that this nikah is not valid because she did not appointed any wali.. ..and she even didnt knew witnesses. ..... and then one more thing the boy never showed nikah nama to that girl. ..and she has not made any signature. ...she has never seen nikah nama and never did signature. boy wants to have sexual relationship with her saying nikah to hamara hogaya hay nikaah nama dakh kar kiya karogi. ...or dastkhat to duniya ki zuroorat hay Allah ki bargah main to nikah hogaya hay.. ..please help sir and tell me only that if this nikah is valid or not when ladki nay koi wali muqarar nahi kiya or nikah nama par dastkhat nahi kiya or naa hi nikah nama aaj tak daikha. ...plzzz help sirr. ...meri czn ko zinnah say bachaiye. ...kya wo usko husband ka haq day day ya yeh nikah valid nahi. ...plz help its urgent.. ..Allah apko ajar day. ...plz plz plz khuda k waastay help karain or detailed answer day dainnn. .....?

    • Assalaamualaikam

      Rather than repeatedly posting comments, the best way to get advice specifically for your situation is to submit a new post for publication.

      I would agree with Br Wael that you should read the advice already given, as it seems very relevant to your situation.

      In short, an Islamic marriage requires: -
      - the consent of both bride and groom.
      - the consent of the bride's wali (some fiqhs have some variations on this in certain situations, eg if the bride has been married before).
      - confirmation of the marriage contract being accepted.
      - payment of the mahr to the bride.
      - celebration of the marriage, which should not be secret.

      I would be concerned that this boy may be trying to take advantage of your cousin by manipulating her into a haraam relationship. However, without the facts it is difficult for anyone to be sure. If she has concerns, then she should speak with a scholar at her local mosque and with her parents - they can clarify what her position is, and inshaAllah help her resolve this confusion.

      If you require further advice, please submit a post rather than a comment.

      Midnightmoon editor

  52. aslam o alikum...

    [Editor's note: Please submit your question, in English if possible, as a separate post for publication rather than as a comment. It can then be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]

  53. Just tell me the minimum requirements of nikah.because my dad is n0t my m0m,and m0m dad of the bride are agree.can we d0 a secret nikah,like n0 cr0wd.just me,my m0m and bride with her m0m dad and her 2 sis with their husbands.and 2 or 3 friends of a m0lvi is must?or a nikah nama?or is it imp0rtant to get the qazi of y0ur own area?

  54. Just tell me the minimum requirements of nikah.because my dad is n0t my m0m,and m0m dad of the bride are agree.can we d0 a secret nikah,like n0 cr0wd.just me,my m0m and bride with her m0m dad and her 2 sis with their husbands.and 2 or 3 friends of a m0lvi is must?or a nikah nama?or is it imp0rtant to get the molvi of y0ur own area?

  55. Asalaamalikum,i like someone and he likes mee too and we hv a clean reltnshp n untill now want to b in a halaal relatnshp i want to b in his nikah and my famly is against dis reltnshp wht m i suppose to do ?? can wee do nikah online???

  56. AOA
    I want to ask that if parents of girl were agreed for marrying and in place nikha done before marriage with 2 witness and nikha khaw but nikha done on phone and with Haq Mehar also but parents of lady were not informed and invited.

    is this nikha valid

    • I am not a scholar, but if you are saying that the bride's wali (her father) gave consent but was not physically present, as far as I know the nikah is valid. However, if the bride's parents agreed, then why were they not informed or invited? It sounds suspicious to me.

      Allah knows best.

      Wael Editor

      • @ Wael
        Bcoz both parents were ready for arrange mariage and month was also decided for marriage but nikha done just for safe side as she was afraid of her father might deny for this relation due to any reason in future so nikha done 3month before decided marriage......but her parents were not present although his parents per present and Nikha Khaw and Mehar also decided and asked by her....

  57. Asslamu Alikum...

    • Wa alaykum as-salam. Please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. Or you can read the answers given on similar questions in our archives.

      Wael Editor

  58. Me n my gf living in different countries once on telephone I said her i m putting my hands on holy Quran and keeping Almighty Allah in front I accept u as my wife n i did put my hands on holy Qur'an she replied me the same and said I also accept u as my husband - my question is that is such nikaah counted in Allah's eye does it valued in Islam I have already told my parents about it but her parents have not accepted that n doing her marriage with someone else

    Plz reply asap

    • Aziz, what you have done is NOT a valid nikah and you are not married. Marriage in Islam has certain conditions, including mutual consent (that's the only one you fulfilled), payment of mahr, presence of witnesses, presence of the bride's wali, and publicization of the marriage with a waleemah.

      Wael Editor

  59. Assalam.u.alaikum i want to merry with my girl.friend and she is marride.she want tallak from her husband but he did not give her.know she want to left her home and merry with she get tallaq from court and through legal way?plz tel me

    • rafaqat, please submit your question as a separate post. My only comment to you at this time is that you should not be involved with a married woman. It is a serious sin.

      Wael Editor

  60. Salam

    I have read various views on the authority of the wali who in many cases is the father. I have also noted the issue of the presence of the two witnesses.

    The hadith literature have to be noted in context.

    What is the case of a couple who want to marry by way of nikah yet the father of the prospective wife has NO cogent reason for his refusal to marry his daughter to a very upright man. The couple have made it clear that they want to marry as they do no want to prolong their relationship outside nikah and they have even observed istikharah to seek guidance from Allah as to whether the other is the appropriate person to take as a life partner.

    They have tried every avenue to get the recalcitrant father to agree but without any success. So if couple marry by a properly read khutbah by an imam without the consent of the wali and/or without witnesses, is this living in a hara relationship. That is absolutely ridiculous and the thinking of fossilised pygmies.

    It is my understanding that 2 or3 of the imams (Abu Hanifah, Malik, Ibn Hanbal and al-Shafi'i) opine that the consent of the wali is not necessary if the persons are majors. Surely these scholars understood the Hadith of the Prophet (s) better than any scholar of the even the last 500 years.

    Besides, the essential requirements of nikah are proposal and acceptance! As long as these requirements are fulfilled, the nikah is valid, with or without the wali, and under the circumstances even without the recitation of the usual khutbah that is read at many a nikah.!! Revert to those books of fiqh and peruse carefully the opinions of the various jurists.

    The essential (sic) presence of the wali and witnesses are fiqh developments long after the era of the a'immah al mujtahidin, for sundry reasons.

    It is these impediments that have come about in Din that have resulted in hundreds, if not thousands, of Muslims living in partnership relationships (na'uthubillah). Who is to blame for this?

    Someone will have to answer to Almighty Allah, and they are nothing but abettors to boot, being the indirect cause of those who now believe in the nikah being an obsolete institution, if anything else.

    Nikah is easy and should be so. Thereafter it is up to the couple now married and in the state of nikah to uphold the precepts of din in every aspect of life.

    • Sisters don't get married to any guy who wants a secret nikah with you. Just don't. You'll be back on this forum saying I told you so!
      Been there done that so I know exactly how this pans out!
      Here's the situation in a nutshell.
      For the man its perfect he gets to use the woman and have no responsibility too!
      What more could he ask for.
      Also no one knows about it so he can walk away after a while as he sees fit a few years or so and no one knows.
      He can do the whole thing again!
      Then the woman is left with either kids to bring up or high and dry!
      You woke. Need to wake up.
      Men are predatory and know what other men think like. Women don't!
      Trust me I'm a guy I know for sure and all guys will totally understand what I mean.
      Sisters please please be careful and get your parents involved.
      In this day and age parents can't kill you or force you back home. Or anything like that times have changed.
      There is no barakah to hide it or not involve the two people who bought you up.
      This whole scenario does not take account of parents rights.
      Also imagine your own child did that one day or one of your siblings has a secret nikah?
      Imagine you found out one-off your parents may have had one in past before you! How would you feel?
      What feels like a fix is a trick of shaytaan to put you in despair!
      If you have such big bravery like a lion to go and do a secret nikah behind your parents back. Have that same bravery and tell them.
      One day you will certainly thank me for it so remember me in your dua please.
      May Allah save us all from the fire of hell. Ameen

      • Salam

        The question is whether to make the nikah under strained circumstances where parents have no right to refuse consent but to inform them after that. How will it help to bravely tell them that you are making nikah when they try all methods available to to see that the nikah doesnt take place.

        We are not talking about willy nilly doing it without parents consent but only when there are no other available avenues.

        Be that as it may, the basis of nikah is proposal and acceptance and as long as these are present, of course with the requirements necessary to be existing in a couple, the nikah is perfectly in order.

        Then when your kids are old enough, tell them what you did and why. Let your children also marry, after advices to the contrary, to a certain person and learn from their mistakes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

        A woman and man may be married and divorced a 100 times, of course within the limits of the din, but the fact of the matter is that the relationship is halal! That is important, not what society feels or thinks.

  61. you can do it and it is acceptable but they consider and believe God is witness there. ans as soon as possible you should disclose relation in the front of people.

  62. Asslamualykum I want to know I'm staying with my lady since 8 years we got 3 children as far as ava family's are agree is it anything wrong in that

    • lucky, are you Muslim? Are you married? I don't really understand your question. If you mean that you have been living with her and having children without getting married, then that is a serious sin in Islam.

      Wael Editor

      • Yes I'm muslim but girl she was not muslim but now she's a muslim but I did the way her family wants to do it but I didn't make nikah so I don't know what to do please let me know

        • Make your nikah as soon as possible. It doesn't have to be expensive or complicated. Just a small ceremony with the Imam, a wali and two witnesses, with the payment of something as mahr.


  63. You still need witnesses for Nikkah Misyar. Read more on Google you will find it. In Nikkah Misyar, your husband is not oblige to full fill your financial needs but it's only for physical need to make your physical relationship halal.

    • Zawaj misyar is a perversion of everything marriage is supposed to stand for. I have read of many women being put in very difficult and unhappy situations because of it. Often when the woman becomes pregnant, the man divorces her, because he has no interest in a genuine family life.

      Wael Editor

    • No doubt about its perversion and lack of responsibility. The learned brother refers one to google. Good to do so but one must read the entire article so as not to fall within the ambit of "What will you believe in a part of the BOOK and reject a part?"
      Besides, marriage is not based solely on contract but encompasses what may be called ihsan or kindness between the parties. The Qur'an's reference to " a solemn contract" when it speaks of marriage goes beyond the concept of contract as in business ventures.For example, a wife is not obliged to cook for her husband but does so on the basis of his caring for her by going to work and giving her more than merely a monthly stipend (nafaqah). On the other hand, the husband is not obliged to take (pay for) his wife for hajj but does so on the basis of ihsan because she looks after his home and children, if any. Nikah Misyar though contractually permissible ignores the broader meaning of mithaqan ghalizah.

      Be that as it may, there is unanimity amongst the majority of the jurists that one does not need witnesses to be in a halal relationship of mithaqan ghalizah.

      Rather no witnesses but tied in responsibility than witnesses to merely halal intercourse.

  64. Assalamualaikum.
    Can i marry a women more older then me. If yes please suggest me how can i marry. Coz my parents are not agry but i want to marry her and she is 61 years of age and not from india and i am 26 years of age and i am from india

    • Rashid, it is allowed in Islam to marry an older woman, but this case is a bad idea. The age difference between you is too extreme. She cannot bear you children, and within ten or twenty years at the most she will be elderly and infirm, while you will be in the prime of your life. She is probably older than your mother, yes? Forget about this match, brother.

      If you need further advice please register and submit your question as a separate post.

      Wael Editor

    • Was salam.
      Of-course you may marry a woman older than you are. The Prophet (s) married Khadijah (r) who was 40 years of age and He (s) was only 25. He also married women who were previously married and amongst them (r) was also Khadijah (r) who was previously married.

      There are however Hadith reports in which he (s) encouraged marriage to virgins.

      Marrying matrons and older women,and from amongst widows, is something that should be encouraged more and more in our society. One should however bear in mind that one should marry according to one's means and the person most suited to him or her.

      Needless to say, older women should not be shy to marry men younger than they are.

      Again, make nikah rather than being in a relationship out of nikah.

  65. can i marry with my gf secretly bcoz she was dosnt want any one know about us

    • There is no secret marriage in Islam. Having witnesses are publicizing the marriage through a walimah are requirements. Making the relationship known is part of what differentiates it from an illicit affair.

      Wael Editor

  66. Me and my grl friend both are over 54 yrs old and we want to nikah withou telling our children. plz
    Tell us the best way to avoid haraam.
    We bothe are single.

    • Malik, it's good that you want to make your relationship halal by way of marriage. However, you cannot keep it secret. The very nature of marriage (as opposed to zinaa) is that it is done openly. This is why it requires witnesses, and why you have a waleemah afterwards.

      Wael Editor

  67. i wanted to know...

  68. Miss latifa123... There is no secret nikah in Islam u r matures now so can umdrstnd it well that there is a number of couple who sacrifese there love just bcoz there fmlies r not agree if secret nikaah is halaal so they can easily do it....n the fact is respect is.the first step of love if someone rey love u will nvr ask u for a secret nikaah...if he does thn m sorry but he is just have a mentality to use plzz thnk over it...

  69. Asalamualikum!!

    Hope and pray evryone is feeling well.. My question is about Nikkah. I am 23 yrs old and into the final year of mys studies.I am in a long distance relation with a girl whom i love is 21 years old and we have deep feeling and high respect for each other. we have not met till today as she lives abroad. I pray five times daily and so does she Alhamdolilah. My whole family knows about her and they have accepted us esp my Mom who has tried alot and still she is trying her best to convince her family for our nikkah.

    We talk daily and we have supported each other to the very extreme and Alhamdolilah she has helped me come over and quit certian bad habbits like smoking,staring at girls etc and she is the one who insists me to maintain my SALAH five times a day and recitiion of the Holy Quran daily... Only her elder sister knows about us and she too is supporting us and told us to be patient Insha Allah one day u two will be rewarded with the best..I do make prayers and cry alot to Allah and she is the only person whom i ask for,,she means everything for to me.

    My question is that Is our relation haram? because its not secret my family knows and her sis too..

    Thanks.. May Allah guide us all on the right path and May ALLAH Almighty forgive our sins.

  70. i want to do my nikah with my girlfriend as we both do not want to commit any more sins, we have been told that when it comes to doing nikah then to go for it because it is islamicly right.. is there anyway we can do it without witnesses coz we want to be discreet about it please let me know.ASAP

    • Jehangir, read the responses already given. There is no nikah without witnesses. Marriage by its very nature is NOT discreet. It is known to the public and above board. That is what separates it from an illicit affair. That is why a walimah is also one of the requirements of marriage.

      Wael Editor

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