Pregnant and need rest.
Assalam O Alikum,
My husband and I are currently staying with my mother in-law. I am still in my first trimester and I am tired all the time. The thing is my mother in-law expects me to spring clean everyday. A couple years ago we had to move out because I was told I am lazy and was going to give her a nervous breakdown. At the time, I also just gave birth (Cesarean section) and was still recovering.
If I say anything or complain to my husband, he doesn't want to hear it. I know I shouldn't be complaining to him about his mother but what do I do? Do I push myself too far to please her and risk losing my baby?
Fazlin.
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Salaam sister,
Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy may Allah make it easy for you and give you a pious child.
Now to the point your mother inlaw should be aware of how it is in the first trimester as she too is a woman, I too had or lets say do have problems with mine but nowadays I stick up for myself if I am to tired to do something I say il do it later or I will clean everything together tommorow.
I have set days where my mother inlaw knows I'm going to cook and clean so now days she doesn't bother saying anything because she knows I will do it maybe you should do this.
Asalaam alaikum,
In Sura Maryam, Allah (swt) reveals what great trials and tribulations befell Lady Maryam (sa). Never before had any woman's pregnancy ever been described so carefully and in such detail. What's important to realize is that Allah (swt) was showing mankind how important her labor was and how important the position is of the pregnant female. Later on it is revealed that the some of the first words from Prophet Isa (as) were concerning his obligation to his mother. This is not a light subject or can it be overlooked. This revelation from the Almighty carries an immense weight regarding how it was He who took care is her directly. Subhan'allah, if only we reflect!
So it becomes crystal clear that of His Mercy, a part is particularly for the pregnant woman. Just as telling is that.those people who mistreated Lady Maryam (sa) were also those who would reject further revelations. This is such a significant point.
Needless to sat then, that you and your baby should not be stressed, overworked or made to feel inept. Share with your husband the wisdom of Divine Revelation, learn the Sura by heart and play it when anyone tries to oppress you. Your position is so high, that like Eve (sa) your womb is the literal cradle through which the next generations of Muslim shall be born. This is a gift from the Almighty and to belittle your rights is an an afront to the survival of our ummah. For surely through this gift from above, paradise lies at your feet.
sallam
professor X i have to say your posts motivate me alot to learn more about Islam, to be a better muslims and to live on the right path. mashallah you know alot and always explain with examples. its amazing mashallah!
Allah hafiz
Salaam,
That was quite poetic beautifully said.
ASA sister!
Congrats on your little one! 🙂
My answer will be short and direct coming from a pregnant lady too... YOU NEED YOUR REST!!!! specially during the first trimester! Your body is going through so many changes. And like my doctor said,
" it's not easy having a life growing inside you! it takes a lot of your enery!"
You do what is best for you AND your baby! they world will not end if you dont clean up for a couple weeks or months!! besides being pregnant is something you should enjoy, so they should be spoiling you! 🙂
Salam
Congratulation sister 🙂 🙂 🙂
InshaAllah, your respected husband will listen to your doctor. Inform your doctor or mid-wife and indirectly they may tell your husband to take greater care of you, especially around the house.
May Allah (swt) bless you with a pious, caring and beautifully happy healthy child, ameen.
Love,
Parveen
-xxx-
Very good advice parveen.
Slm sister,
I emphathise completely. Though we live on our own my husband expected the world even though I had no nanny/home help and was pregnant with twins! I pushed myself and and a result of that (and many other factors) I gave birth extremely prematurely (barely 7 months). Alghamdurillah my sons are both healthy today but since then I decided that no matter anybody's protests I will do what's best for me. Inshallah I wish u the best with your pregnancy and suggest that if ur at the means, you and your husband find your own place together.
It may be that as women are territorial, your MIL may gets agitated at the feeling that things are not run in her household as she wants them to be. Living on my own, I get annoyed wen I cnt find something so it could be she feels overwhelmed at not being in control and thus pushes you to do things her way and in her time. Understandable but not right.
All the best my sister and may Allah grant you the serenity to produce a healthy baby Inshallah.