I am only 17 but I have these strong urges to get married; is it normal?
Assalam-O-Alaikum everyone,
Ok! so I have this crazy problem going on with me. I am only 17. I have this extreme love for romance and love. Although, I don't want to engage in any wrong relationship and stuff. And more over due to some experiences and abuses in early age I have this really strong sex drive which I don't like. I usually fast to control my sex drive but seriously speaking, deep down inside in my heart I have this strong urge and wish to get married.
Its funny but I'm kind of in love with my future husband (whom I don't even know). I'm too young to get married but I want to. Although I know that being married isn't easy, there's are a lot of complication and hard stuff involved. It is not easy and I am mature enough to understand that. But I really wish like hell to find my "one".
So,
1. Is loving your future husband wrong (or a sin maybe)?
2. Is wishing for a romantic married life wrong?
3. Is it just due to young age or something else?
Maria.
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asalamu alaikum,
regarding your questions there is nothing wrong in wanting a romantic married life etc. sister its good to get married at young age, so when you reach 18years of age and feel you ready then you should get married.
although its been so long i still remember when i was 16 and i also wanted to get married. so you not alone.
marriage is half your deen, also protects you from temptation.
i know few people your age who want to get married but cant, so they doing things which are forbidden in islam. i.e dating etc.
ma salama
thnx.. but I don't how to tell my parents about it.. They wont agree may be... and I don't do forbidden stuff like dating or relationship..
when you reach 18 tell your parents. i know its difficult but just let them know. most parents want their children to finish their education etc but if you explain to them that you can continue your studies and work after marriage then they might understand.
right now you may not be doing anything forbidden, but you said you have high sex drive, desires can turn people insane, and do things which you never thought of doing. there is a limit to everything.
fasting is good, month of ramadan is coming things will get easier inshallah.
peace..
thank you for helping.
Ahmed ,
Just because some people aren't strong enough to control themselves. It doesn't mean that others aren't capable. If your faith is strong enough I think a person is perfectly capable of controlling themselves.
Allah has made it easy for us he gave us the holy Quran and prophet and his examples to help guide us. Islam teaches men and women to lower their gaze , dress modestly, stay away from fitnah, not mingle with non-mahram, not to view or listen to haram.
you should try getting closer to Allah and shouldn't seek worldly pleasure.
'marriage is half your deen' but what about your other half of the deen
Muslim girl can marry at age of 15 as per india law .plz read this article innews paper jugement given by delhi high court
Muslim girl can marry at 15 if she attains puberty: Delhi high court
(Ruling that a Muslim girl…)
NEW DELHI: Ruling that a Muslim girl can marry as per her choice at the age of 15 years if she has attained puberty, the Delhi high court has held the marriage of a minor girl valid and allowed her to stay in her matrimonial house.
"This court notes that according to Mohammedan Law a girl can marry without the consent of her parents once she attains the age of puberty and she has the right to reside with her husband even if she is below the age of 18....," a bench of justices S Ravindra Bhat and S P Garg said.
reference website :http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-06-05/india/32055325_1_muslim-girl-mohammedan-law-minor-daughter
what the sister is yearning for is superficial love
she needs focus on her deen
As Salamualaikum,
Sister, such feeling is normal in your age.
It is alright to love the future husband, but do not build very high expectations from him (imaginary though). This could cause problems if your actual husband does not fit into these.
Additionally, do not look for your future husband in everyone you see. This will confuse you and also cause you to fall into grief. Shaitaan always tries to cause grief to the believing slaves of Allah.
It is alright to wish for a romantic life, but keep patience, until you get married. If you can not get married now or a year or two later, then you may fast immensely to keep your urges controlled, which is what Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned in a Hadith.
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
It is normal i too wanted to get married young now i realied how hard it is to find someone suitable as i got older. When you feel you are ready and i believe you are, consult your parents and take it from there, if you do find someone suitable involve your parents at all times. I strongly suggest to you from staying away from a sin and in haraam which later on you may regret, so your better opinion is t get married.
Prophet advised those who are young to FAST.
so my advice to you sister is that you should fast stay away from non-mahrams
stop watching rom coms
take up hobbies
study ,stay focused
keep mind busy listen to recitations
seek knowledge
try to better yourself
do taleem with family
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-40p_-aamQM