Dua for starting family? Recommended way to conceive?
I am married and recently started discussing starting a family with my husband. We've received all sorts of health tips but unfortunately not much Islamic advice. I'd like to know of any advice from QurÃ¡n or Sunnah about starting a family, duas to make for healthy pious children etc... Also is there a recommended way to concieve? We naturally want to do things correctly so that the pregnancy is easy and our children blessed.
Sister Noorah's Answer:
Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah
There are many things you can do to help to conceive a child. First and foremost, it is important that you and your husband are good, practicing Muslims, because this is the foundation of the family and will help you to be in the right physical and emotional state for conceiving. You should both be observing the five daily prayers, fasting, and giving zakah according to your ability. Your income and that of your husband's should be from what is permissible, and not from the haraam, such as interest, or the sale of alcohol or pork.
As for the du'as, it is sunnah to recite the following du'a before engaging in marital intercourse:
Bismi Llah(i), Allahumma jannibna sh-shaytana wa jannibi sh-shaytana ma razaqtana.
In the name of AllÄh. O Allah, protect us from Satan and keep Satan away from the children You grant us. (Bukhari)
As far as specific du'as for conceiving, there is no "magic bullet" du'a, of course, but here are some beneficial supplications from the Holy Qur'an:
"Rabbi la tadharni faradan wa anta khayru al-warithin."
(My Lord! Leave me not solitary (childless though) You are the best of inheritors.)" (Al-Anbiya 89)
"Rabbi hab li min ladunka dhurriyyatan tayyibah innaka sami`ud du`a' (My Lord! Grant me from You upright offspring, for You hear all prayers)" (Al `Imran 38)
Recite these du'as frequently, and also make a habit of remembering Allah throughout your day with "subhanAllah" "alhamdulillah", and "Allahu akbar" and other authentic du'as.
There are also some "worldy" things you can do to increase the chance of conception. The first is to enjoy marital intimacy frequently. A woman is only fertile for a few days out of the month, so if you are intimate often, you have a better chance to conceive. You can purchase ovulation prediction kits (which use your body's temperature to determine when you might be most fertile) and you can keep track of your menstrual cycle to determine your fertile times. Also, RELAX! Marital intimacy should be enjoyable for its own sake, and if you are enjoying one another and not stressing over "having" to get pregnant, you will actually increase your chances, as stress hormones can interfere with pregnancy. There are many stories about women who finally got pregnant after they "gave up" trying and just resigned themselves to not having children.
I highly recommend this book for all couples trying to conceive: How to Get Pregnant with the New Technology by Sherman J. Silber. Although the book is a resource for people experiencing difficulty in getting pregnant, it has a wealth of information on the men's and women's reproductive cycles and practical tips as well.
Make sure also that you are not doing anything that will harm your health. If either of you smokes, stop now. This includes cigarettes, cigars, and the Arabic "hookah" or water pipe. The toxins from tobacco products can badly affect the man's sperm, damaging it and leading to infertility and potential defects in the fetus. Eat good healthy food, avoid processed foods, and maintain a healthy body weight. Exercise moderately. You should be taking a good woman's multivitamin and extra folic acid to avoid a specific birth defect. There are vegetarian vitamins available online or in health food stores that do not contain gelatin or other questionable or haraam ingredients.
As you see, there is a lot you can do to give yourself the best chance of conceiving. One thing to caution you about: you might receive superstitious advice from family members. One might tell you to wear a necklace with a blue stone around your neck, or do something that has been handed down in the family. Avoid this non-Islamic advice and hold to the Qur'an and Sunnah. InshAllah, you will be blessed with a child who will be a pious believer and a coolness for your eyes.
Fi Aman Allah,
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