Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Do saints really posses people’s body and tell them solution to their problems?

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Assalam O Alaikum,

I am in confusion and depression since my child hood. I have seen people of my family seeking solution for problems by saying that a particular avliya (saint) such as Abdul Qadir Jilani (RA) or some others take over their bodies and tell solutions to problems and they even do ritual to get rid of black magic.

Now for the past 6 months, my mom has been doing this but she is not doing for public. She faints when she is normal or doing dikr along with family and today (day of laila-tul-qadr); she fainted and started to shout that she is Hazrat Rabia Basri (RA) and started and said that there is a girl in your home who is doing kufr and so on. She said that I am angry with her and I am being very patient and if I make dua to Allah (swt) she gives curses it will come true; she asked shall I do that?

I am totally confuse now; my question is; does saints really posses any person’s body and say things as such if it’s true. Why these saints don’t know the sexual abuse I underwent from my grand dad and the trauma and fear I am having in my mind now. Why these saints can’t show my mom the depression and fear I am undergoing.

Now, I don’t want to get married and at the same time I don’t want to be in my house either. I just want to die which is also haram in Islam.

Dear brothers and sisters please clear my doubts and make dua for me.

Wasalam,

Safna.


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18 Responses »

  1. Salaam safna.

    The whole concept of saints helping people beyond the grave is wrong. It is shirk. The people have passed on. There is a barrier between the living and dead so how can they talk to us? Please do not fall into this trap of believing that saints can help and provide solutions to problems and cure black magic. They do not have this power. Only Allah swt has this power so your family are at wrong to be doing this.

    It is shirk (associating partners with Allah) to look for 'awliya' etc for help. If your family will not abuse you then warn them if you can. As to what is causing your mother to speak like this I do not know for sure. It may be that your mother can sense you are angry with her and being patient. Remember that a lot of what people see about us is from our body language and not from our direct speech dear sister. It may be that your mother has a disorder which makes her believe she is another person at intervals.

    It is unlikely but it may be the effects of jinn or magic? Although I do not believe in possession etc I do believe personally that those people who believe such things like awliya, rituals to remove black magic and jinn possession are more likely to experience such things then those who don't.

    Also those who practice black magic or do rituals to remove it (which are not from the Qur'an and Sunnah) or who try to do things like 'capture jinn,' and other haraam things are more likely to have 'strange experiences' or be the victim of sihr (magic etc). This may be a psychological trick their mind plays on them. Almost like a psychosymptomatic disease. Some women have not been pregnant but believed they were pregnant to the extent their menstruation stopped, stomach swelled and they got morning sickness. It may be psychological. Allah knows best.

    But without a doubt, believing in such ideas, and performing rituals is shirk and will only cause you sin and bring you trouble.

    "Why these saints don’t know the sexual abuse I underwent from my grand dad and the trauma and fear I am having in my mind now. Why these saints can’t show my mom the depression and fear I am undergoing."

    Because these 'saints' or whatever they are have no power.

    I am not chastising you dear sister, it is normal to question such things when everyone around you does such things as normal and Alhumdulilah that you have questioned it. But just trying to show you how wrong their actions are. This is another reason to seperate yourself from your family. Warn them, keep a bit of distance without cutting off completely from your mother. As for your grandfather for your own protection do not see him at all.

    If you are unsure of something check is it from the Quran or an authenticated hadith from the Sunnah. If there is nothing to back it up do not take it. Every Muslim should also try to learn Aqeeda (belief fundamentals) as there are now many misconceptions. If you can do this, even an online course do try dear sister.

    As for black magic and other likes stay away from it. I know very little about it, and I am not sure exactly what I believe in with regards to black magic. I believe it exists as there is proof that Rasool SAW was afflicted with it. But its important to know that there is not power except with Allah and nothing can harm you without His will. Likewise nothing can benefit you without His will. Know how to protect yourself though thats important. Doing all Salat, correct belief and strong faith protect you. As well as Surah Ikhlaas, Falaq and Naas 3x after
    magrib and fajr salat and before sleep. And reciting each surah once after zuhr, asr and isha salat. Also recite ayat 255 from surah baqarah once after each salat and before going to sleep. It keeps shaytaan away during the night.

    I am so sorry to hear what you are going through though dear sister. Remember that Allah has given us will so you can leave. If you really can't then never be alone with your grandfather. Try to be somewhere else as much as possible. Join a course just anything to get out of your house. You could also consider looking for marriage to someone of good character and deen who is kind and moving away. I know you are unwilling to expose him but you really should, you deserve to leave in peace safely.

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor
    x

    • Dear Sister Sara;

      thank you so much for your reply and for clearing my doubts, i too have the same thoughts as you are saying.. my family members wants me to do the same thing what they are doing, and of course they do abuse me sometimes... i am trying very hard to keep myself away from those rituals ... ,though i try to keep distance from my grand dad, he is often visiting my house and the moment i hear his voice or his face, i feel disgusted, i try to lock myself in my room but my mom yells at me and she says all wrong things about me to my grand mom and to my maasi ( my mother's sister) and they also start to scold me.. i cant express my fear and grief to anyone..

      dua to allah, that no girl should experience the situation which i am experiencing

      • Safna,

        Is your grand-father still abusing you?

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • assalamu alaikum sister,

          now we are in separate home, so now little bit safe, but he often comes to my house and irritates me, i used to lock myself in my room until he goes out of my house, but he makes some scenes to my mom saying that ' i love her so much, y she is not speaking to me ' and so on........ my mom then starts to scold and abuse me by words .....

          sister, one of my hindu friend proposed me for marriage, i told him if he is ready to convert to islam , i will marry him, but he is reluctant, and said he cant convert...

          i feel i will be safe if i get married to him, provided he converts to islam..

          • What do you mean he irritates you? Does he still abuse you?

            And Safna, you are clearly very vulnerable and I can feel your need and desire to be protected. But I wouldn't recommend you marry this hindu man unless he converts to Islam properly. Since he has already shown his reluctance to accept Islam, I would urge you to be very wary of him even if he does seemingly convert. It is very important for you to marry someone who has sincerely accepted Islam.

            Sister, what is your current situation? Did you mention in another post that your mother is looking to marry you to someone? What is happening with that?

            Please keep in touch so we can help you,

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor
            x

        • assalamu alaikum sister

          hope u r in pink of your health.
          sister he come to our home and to my room and he speaks in a voice which irritates me, he speaks in a husky voice and he starts to insert his hand inside his dhoti and moves his genitals while he speaks to me., which is clearly evident .

          this is really irritating me and remembers me of my bitter past sister

          • Safna,

            What he is doing is terrible. He is deliberately trying to intimidate you and to keep you frightened of him. This man is sick in the head and in the heart.

            We must find a practical way to help you inshaAllah:

            How old are you now? What is happening with the marriage proposal that your mother suggested to you? Have you spoken to him? If yes, what is he like, do you think he would be a good spouse for you? If this proposal goes ahead, how soon can you marry him and move to his home?

            Personally, I think you need to tell your father or someone who he is trustworthy and will believe you. Why? Because your grandfather is still abusing you and he may be abusing others too.

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Dear Sister

          Assalamu Alaikum

          those proposals have gone out of hands, since i am not looking good. i am 26 now. i want to get out of India and lead a peaceful life in the path of allah. sister, the non muslim guy who proposed to me, said that he will start reading holy quran and other scared books and analyze the things, once his university exam gets over.

          now i am working in a pharmacy college as a lecturer, in my home town itself, i want to get rid of my place, so i applied for colleges in the nearby states, i even got offer letters but my parents are not allowing me to go. they whacked me for being stubb

          • Analysis the things

            How u analysis quran & hadet , plz sister care to explain probably with vedas , mahabharata , ramayana I guess the non muslim guy is a hindu

            Regarding the going of different , I guess ur parents are worried about u that y they are not letting u go

        • Dear Sister,

          Allah, the almighty has shown me the relief, thank you so much for all your dua's for me sister

          last friday, when i was replying to you, the power gone off, and my system, went off, once the power came i forgot to switch on the system and log out my account from the site, in allah's grace, that same night my dad has opened the system and he was directly directed to this website and he read all my posts and comments given by our brothers and sisters.

          on Sunday night my parents spoke about this to me and i confessed everything and burst out all my trauma i underwent right from 5years of age. my dad was very upset and he said , i belive u my child, i am there for you always and so on.. but my mom took some hours to even listen to me, she was abusing me rather, but allah turned her mind also. but i am in doubt whether she completely believed me or just to avoid the bad name for his father, she acts to us.

          but sister , both my brothers are still abusing me as whore and they are saying , he is a good man with a good conduct and character, and this girl is creating things to seperate our family and so on.. they are even saying i would have gone and shown my body to him.

          anyways sister, i am happy that allah has shown me a good path and made my dad to understand my pain.

          i once again thank all our sisters and brother for praying and supporting me.

          love you sister

          • My dear Safna,

            SubhaanAllah, sister I am so relieved for you. Allah is amazing, He(swt) heard your cries and He(swt) helped you. He revealed the truth to your father in such a miraculous way. Twice in the past one week, I have witnessed Allah Almighty guide to the truth in such a way. He(swt) is The Best.

            This is another phase of your life now, one where inshaAllah you can live with freedom and peace of mind and heart. What you have been through is a terrible ordeal and I pray Allah heals you. That your father is now with you is part of that healing and proof that you can trust again.

            I wish you all the best my sister. InshaAllah you will feel happy to write here again if and when you need or want to.

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Assalamu alaikum sister

          yes, sister i am relieved now, feeling light at heart, sister there are many girls like me who are undergoing the trauma, i hereby request you to dua to allah, to show the path for all the girls suffering like me

          • Dear Safna,

            May Allah relieve everyone from abuse, oppression and suffering. May HE(swt) grant us all with freedom, lightness of heart, peace and happiness. You are all my sisters in Islam and I will do whatever I can to help whoever comes my way inshaAllah - may Allah enable me to help you, and may Allah guide us all to the truth, aameen.

            SisterZ
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor
            xxx

  2. Salaam Samir.

    Sorry but we do not permit the exchange of email addresses on her, especially between non-mahrams. If you have any advice to offer, please offer it here so we can all benefit InshaAllah

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Dear Sister,

    What you have explained above is clearly saitanic rituals. Abdul kaadir Jeilan is very respectable sait, and he has passed away 561AH. He passed away years ago, Years ago !!!!! We are not like non muslim who beleive ghost can come back and enter in human body and express what they wish, reveal secrets etc.

    What you have observed from you family is sheitan trying to take you away from islam and right eqeeda. There are people who are possed and when these people have ruqya read on them, they speak random nonsense. The proper Raqi ask there patients never to listen to these hadeeth from sheitan. Now, because your family do not have experience or knowledge of this field (possession of the human by sheitan), the sheitan play tricks with them, by intgroducing themselves as walees /saits etc.

    Past saints like Abdul qaadir Jeilan will be in heaven enjoying there fruits of good deeds not chasing human beings to tell them whats going on in their lives. This is pure shirk and who ever is involve in this bussiness is in trouble in dunya and akheera.

    May allah protect you from harm.

    Amna

    • assalamu alaikum sister

      sister,as u said, those great saints will be enjoying in heaven,
      and sister these people are not in trouble in dunya its me in trouble.........
      do dua for me sister

      • my heart truely goes out to you sister.
        i will ask Allaah to assist you whenever i can from now on inshaallaah.

        first of all sister, no one knows whom the saints, awliyaa of Allaah are, no one

        no one can say that 'AbdillQaadir jeelaani [ra] is a wali of Allaah, no on can say that for sure imaam Hasan Al-Basri, or imaam Sa'eed ibn-Al-Musayyab [rahmatullaahi 'alayhim rahmatan waasi'aa] are awliyaa.
        simply because only Allaah knows what is in the heart and the intention behind every action.

        the onbly awliyaa that we know of are the sahaabah all of them may Allaah be pleased with them, and that is through revelationsecond of all sister, no close angel, or sent prophet or righteous wali can uplift harm as small as an atom, or bring any good whats so ever.

        Allaah says

        "and if any harm befalls you, then none but he can uplift it"

        to ask any dead person for help, or to ask them to ask Allaah for you is outright shirk which removes a person from the fold of islaam [unless he is ignorant of what he is doing]

        as Allaah says in suurah Az-Zumar

        "and those who take awliyaa [helpers] besides him [Allaah] say we only worship them in order to get closer to Allaah"

        also

        "they worship that which does not harm them nor benifit them and say these are our intesessors [shafee'/waseelah] in the sight of Allaah"

        may Allaah take your family out of the outright shirk.

        a person shouting and screaming that imaam Abuu Haneefah or imaam Hasan Al-Basri or imaam Sa'eed ibn-Al-Musayyab or 'AbdillQaadir Al-jeelaani or anyone else for that matter dead or alive is in them is nothing but a devil in them, or a delusion.

        Allaah ma'ak sister.

        i hope you find a good upright husband inshaallaah

  4. Dear sister Safna,

    1---First of all i would like to promise you that my prayers are with you in every salaa.
    But, I think you need to tell some one who you truely trust in your family, and also who have a say , about your grandfather. IF he has stopped or not, some adult in the family must know to stop this cycle. Because he might stop doing to you, but how do you know he is not doing to some one else.

    I beleive after exposing your granddad, even if some people might not beleive you, he will think twice to abuse some one else. This kind of people they want to keep doing this staff under the carpet.
    After exposing him if he comes back to you, be strong and tell him i will report you further. You are a victim my dear, dont ever feel ashamed, this sheitanis want you to feel exactly that, so that you dont tell anyone.
    But remember after you tell, life (might) be slightly harder, depend on how your family will take it. Having said that, it is better to tell in a long run rather than to bury your head in sand.

    2--If your family still continue with their rituals, please be patient and stay away from them by making your self busy with studies, 3ibada etc. Allah never give a person imtihani (tests) continuesly. This is a periodic test which i promise will stop. Now, because you are young and still live with the family it will be hard to ignore, i do understand. However, try your best to be close to allah, allah always protect those who are close to him. You will feel peace by doing your daily 3ibada and what ever they say or do will not have any significant to you. later in your life when you leave this house either by getting married etc you will be in peace. But dont get married quickly with the person you dont love for the sake of leaving your home.

    Trust me you will move on one day and forget all this. For time being be patient.

    Read this Dua, its best dua if you are in pain, worry etc

    narrated by abu said khudri(rd) that Abu Umama(rd) had problem cause of debt and some problem. prophet(sw) told to recite this dua morning and evening:

    'Allahumma inni audhubika minal hammi wa'l huzni wa audhubika minal 'ajzi wa'l kasali wa audhubika jubni wa'l bukhli wa audhubika min ghalabati'd dayni wa qahrir Rijaal'

    To the nearest meaning:

    I seek refuge in Allah from feeling unsettled and from sorrow ; I seek Your protection from timidity and indolence; I seek Your protection from cowardice and selfishness and I seek Your protection from over whelming indebtedness and oppression of people'.

    Also Read surah Ad-Dhuha

    بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

    وَٱلضُّحَىٰ (١) وَٱلَّيۡلِ إِذَا سَجَىٰ (٢) مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَىٰ (٣) وَلَلۡأَخِرَةُ خَيۡرٌ۬ لَّكَ مِنَ ٱلۡأُولَىٰ (٤) وَلَسَوۡفَ يُعۡطِيكَ رَبُّكَ فَتَرۡضَىٰٓ (٥) أَلَمۡ يَجِدۡكَ يَتِيمً۬ا فَـَٔاوَىٰ (٦) وَوَجَدَكَ ضَآلاًّ۬ فَهَدَىٰ (٧) وَوَجَدَكَ عَآٮِٕلاً۬ فَأَغۡنَىٰ (٨) فَأَمَّا ٱلۡيَتِيمَ فَلَا تَقۡهَرۡ (٩) وَأَمَّا ٱلسَّآٮِٕلَ فَلَا تَنۡہَرۡ (١٠) وَأَمَّا بِنِعۡمَةِ رَبِّكَ فَحَدِّثۡ (١١)

    Surah Ad-Dhuha
    In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
    1. By the forenoon (after sun-rise);

    2. And by the night when it is still (or darkens);

    3. Your Lord (O Muhammad ()) has neither forsaken you nor hated you.

    4. And indeed the Hereafter is better for you than the present (life of this world).

    5. And verily, your Lord will give you (all i.e. good) so that you shall be well-pleased.

    6. Did He not find you (O Muhammad ()) an orphan and gave you a refuge?

    7. And He found you unaware (of the Qur'an, its legal laws, and Prophethood, etc.) and guided you?

    8. And He found you poor, and made you rich (selfsufficient with selfcontentment, etc.)?

    9. Therefore, treat not the orphan with oppression,

    10. And repulse not the beggar;

    11. And proclaim the Grace of your Lord (i.e. the Prophethood and all other Graces).

    This surah will give you comfort.

    May allah protect you sis

    Amna

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