13 year old feeling guilty – am I still virgin?
I am a thirteen year old girl who was raised in a Muslim household. Because I was born and raised in America, my parents expect me to finish school and follow all the things a Muslim girl should.
I am writing this post because I am concerned of something I have done. Without thinking about the consequences, I used to continuously masturbate and I may have broken my hymen, although I have never had sex.
This problem has been bothering me and I want to know if I am still a virgin. And when I get married, will this be a problem for my husband?
What should I do to move on? PLEASE HELP.
- muslimgirl71
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Assalamu Alykum
dnt be worried. Prsnc or absnc of Hymen is not an evidance of virginity. It may broke thrgh manyways incldng masturbation as urs. And nothng to worry.
And one instructn I have to give U is that , pls U shld try ur level bst to giveup ths habit as it is a worse and Keep ur Allah !.. I Knwas u are a western,the society and their culture are far away frm Islamic Rules and Laws. Still !!! Why dont u , ur level best ?
No prblm. U r virgin. Hymen may be brkn thrgh many ways . It doesnt give no idea abt virginity.
ADVISE; stop masturbation as u can , It is not a good Habit for a Muslim ,it will lead U to evil. KEEP ALLAH !
Hi dear how are you? I am not sure if you broke your hymen while masturbating, but if you feel you did then mayby you did, so yes masturbating could be the cause of your hymen to brake. I am not sure if you lost your virginity or not, but dear I suggest you to stop doing this haram act. It can cause you to sins that can destroy your life. I pray that you have a loving husband and don't worry, hymen can brake in other ways too. But please sister STOP MASTURBATING!! May ALLAH help you and may he protect you from all sins, ameen.
ANNA
Hi anna, assalaam.
Can you post me a proof with reference where masturbating is not permitted as u hv said its haram in islam, for women and if there is exceptional case. I would be very grateful to hear it from you sister.
Thanks
Dear Uzzy
Sorry for late reply, I came online after a long time. I hope this link will help you. I have also added the text here. I have also read here on this forum on many posts that masturbating is haram.
Here you go 🙂 : Is masturbating haram in Islam?
Answer:
Yes, Masturbation is haram in Islam. It is sinful according to the following:
Quran says (meaning English translation):
{...And those who guard their private parts, Except in the case of their wives ... surely are not to be blamed, But he who seeks to go beyond this, is that go beyond the limits} [Quran, chapter 70, verse 29-31]
Some saying of prophet Mohamed (hadith) are quoted below in support of masturbation being sinful and forbidden:
{We were with the Prophet (peace upon him) while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. The Prophet (peace upon him) said: "O assembly of youths; whoever among you possesses the physical and financial resources to marry should do so, because it helps him guard his modesty, and whoever is unable to marry should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."}
Also, prophet Mohamed said:
{O group of youth! Whoever from among you can marry should do so because it keeps the gaze low and it protects the private parts. And he who cannot marry should make it compulsory upon himself to fast because it breaks lust.}
Also prophet Mohamed said:
{Seven persons are such that Allah (God) will not look at them on the Day of Judgment .... and Allah (God) will enter them into the Hell... except for those who repent. As those who repent Allah will accept their repentance.
1. A person who masturbates.
2. A person who performs the act of sodomy.
3. The person upon whom the act of sodomy is performed.
4. A perpetual drunkard.
5. The person who hits his parents so much that they appeal for help.
6. The person who harms his neighbors so much so that they curse him.
7. The person who commits adultery with his neighbor's wife. }
According to the Holy Bible, masturbation is also an act of sin. Christians believe that it is a sin IF you look at a some one in lust that is not your husband or wife. So, when u masturbate don't masturbate to anyone that you are not married to. That part is the sin.
However, if masturbation is performed by wife to her husband or by husband to her wife then it is considered as foreplay or oral sex that is allowed in Islam.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_masturbating_haram_in_Islam
My name is 'Abbas please D hadith you quoted there are seven... Is that sahih? Explain to me What do u mean by if couple masturbate each other is an oral..... And is accepted in Islam. Please share the knowledge with me.
I am not doing it for anyone
It depends on how you define ''virgin''.
A moral virgin is one who has abstained from all illicit sexual activity in his/her lifetime.
A physical virgin is one who has never penetrated/ been penetrated with their reproductive organs. This includes human to human contact but excludes personal masturbation.
It seems you are concerned about your status which seems to fit antagonistically to the first type.
My dear sister is Islam, in Islam we have the beautiful concept of repentance, of tawbah.
When a fornicator repents sincerely from the bottom of his/her heart then Allah SWT wipes his/her slate clean. They are as they were born sinless.
I cannot find the Fatwa but I know it does exist. It says that the one who repents sincerely is a virgin once again.
And you sister never fornicated in the first place. You simply made a mistake [which was bad, yes] but that is not as grevious as the actual act of illicit intercourse. So if you repent then yes you will be a moral virgin again.
Salaams
Darling I think your concept of hymen is flawed. A majority of women don't have a physical barrier "down there" and at your age it is normal to have sexual feelings as you are probably going through puberty so this is normal. However at this moment you need to enjoy your childhood and not be focused on what a husband would think.you should only care about ALLAHswt that is watching you.
I hv stp maturbation bt d problem s i hv shaking of hands n legs ... I dnt knw wot 2 do ... Pls hlp me
Aisha, I doubt the shaking of your hands and legs is related to lack of masturbation. You need to see a doctor.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sounds like you have diabetes or something. Go see a doctor immediately.
Tnx .... Bt wil dey doctor listen 2 me ... Am even scared of seein a doctor
salam i have one question do the doctors know if u masturbated.and also is it haram for a doctor to touch u in ur private part.
Salaams,
I don't believe a doctor can tell if someone has masturbated. Even if a doctor sees a female patient with a broken hymen (from masturbating), when it wasn't broken before, the doctor has no way of knowing what might have caused it. I think it would be impossible to tell if a male has masturbated. If your doctor knew you were masturbating, I doubt they would have much of a reaction. You have to remember that they see a lot of crazy things and something like masturbation probably doesn't even make them bat an eyelash, unless it's being done in a way that might be harmful to oneself.
As far as whether or not a doctor can touch your private area, no doctor should be doing so unless that is the area being treated at the time. For instance, it's necessary for a doctor to examine genitals during pap smears, gynelogical exams, various stages of pregnancy and childbirth, and to check for certain types of cancer in both men and women. If you are going to the doctor for anything along those lines, it would be permissible for the doctor to touch you as needed to complete the examination. However, because these procedures are necessary from time to time, it is advised that your doctor be the same gender so that you are not being touched by a non-mahram, which is technically haram. There can be exceptions made to this in cases where there are no same-sex doctors where one might live, and one has no choice but to see a physician who is the opposite gender to be treated comprehensively.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
what will then happened if ur own mom found out u masterbated
Salaams,
There is no universal answer to that. Every mother is different, so her reaction could be one of disgust and dismay or compassion and understanding. Many mothers know that their children experiment with masturbation, perhaps they even did when they were younger and know that to some degree it's normal and so they wouldn't really be surprised. I think in a lot of cases it's more embarrassing for the child than the parent if they got caught.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
every doctor checks ur private part when u go for a check up when ur young most of the times.
how come i was touched oppisite gender
i think its becuz in U.S its different but i think hes right because i was also checked up by an old lady at the doctors and they had to check me there.
if a man did the same but never did that with any woman - he is still a virgin right. then of course a woman is still a virgin. its equal. stretching hymen has nothing to do with virginity. your still pure and clean untill you have actually done it with a human being. feeling pleasure alone (wearing clothes or unclothed) is haraam but its not as bad as actually having a physical relationship with a man /woman your not married to, masturbation (feeling pleasure alone) doesnt break virginity. but its a sin and should be stopped. may Allah forgive everyone and guide everyone. also masturbation means feeling pleasure alone , dont masturbate with a person becasue its vulgar unless your married.
I am not doing it for anyone