Can’t forget the friend I fell in love with
Salam
Basically I got to know this guy as a friend and then I started to get feelings for him and eventually I fell in love with him. When I told him I loved him he backed off.
I always wanted a halal relationship out of it hoping it would lead to marriage. Its been 10 months and I still love him and I've got a funny feeling he still has feelings for me. What should I do??
Should I do an istikharer with mine and his name?? Is there a dua that I can use to pray to Allah so that I can marry him?
Please help me
Cause I wish this feelings would go away and that I can forget him. But I can't for some strange reason.
- mn3bg
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Man to marry someone that started off as a wrongdoing and then expect it to turn ok is not the way to go. You became friends with a guy (bad bad option), you should have never allowed the situation to have arisen in the first place.
You're asking all the wrong questions, first and foremost the "love" you're talking about is nonsense, this is the kind of love that every John, Harry, Mary and Saleem feels, what does that mean? It means 2 months down the line once the rush has gone you'll start to lose those feelings and you'll question why you allowed yourself to get into this mess.
However if you do the correct thing, speak to your parents about finding you a good man of good upbringing, faith and of a pious nature, they will give you a few good options and you can choose the one you like. You will learn to share everything with him and not this nonsense "lala land" style love.
Don't do any Istikaarah, never speak to him again. I can assure you, you're not alone in your thinking, but ask those who have been in your position and 99% of the decent honest people you'll speak to will tell you, the best approach is to allow your parents to find you a good man, as is required by Islam.
I hope you do not think that anything that happens with this man/boy will be good, you will not have the blessings of your father and that is just an important thing for any girl.
Take it easy Mohammed, do not be harsh with her. She is asking for advice, so advise her in the best manner, with kind and honest words.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister, this is not the right man for you. I'm sorry to say that he was just messing around with you, or not wanting anything more than friendship. When he realized you wanted more, he ran away. His intentions with you are not sincere or pure.
Forgetting just takes time. Give it time, and do not dwell on thoughts of him. Focus on your deen, your studies, your friendships with good Muslim sisters, and other good and wholesome things in your life. In time the hold this guy has on you will ease and disappear.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor