Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Child abuse; How the Almighty can allow the innocent to suffer?

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I have recently read several articles on severe child abuse that have made me furious. I filled with anger and rage but also deep despair. I cannot understand how the Almighty can allow the innocent to suffer so much. I just can't understand why they are not saved. Why give children to people who cannot love them and care for them? I really am struggling. Please help me understand. How can a defenseless child be put through such horror. Doesn't every child deserve love and happiness? How is it that some children are born into homes with so much while others with nothing. It is not fair. Why does this happen ?


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24 Responses »

  1. Assalamu'alaikum sister,

    It is not for us to weigh Allah's actions on fairness. It is not for us to decide whether it is fair or not. Because all His actions are fair in His Wisdom. He Is free from the deeds of us, Humans.

    When Allah Intended to Create Adam Alaihis Salam, He Said:

    And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels, "Indeed, I will make upon the earth a successive authority." They said, "Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?" Allah said, "Indeed, I know that which you do not know." (Baqarah, 30)

    It has to be noted that the Angels, from the wisdom given by Allah, understood that the off-spring of Adam will cause corruption and shed blood. But when they asked Him about it, He Said: "I Know what you do not know", indicating that His Wisdom is beyond the understanding of Angels themselves, and that there was wisdom in Creating Adam. We can ponder over it, but we may or may not understand. If we understand, we praise Allah and thank Him, if we do not understand, we say: "we hear and obey" though we do not understand.

    Allah did not make everyone equal. Some are poor and others are rich. Some die of hunger and some die for over-eating, some are slaughtered by oppressors and some are given a life of bliss. Allah did allow this to happen but this oppression is not from Him, but it is from the deeds of the creation, as the Angels had predicted. But the wisdom behind it is in His Knowledge.

    Allah tests some people by giving them and tests some by taking from them. He tests some by giving them righteous children to see if they thank Allah and raise them well or they do not. He tests some by giving them no children to see whether they still thank Allah or they do not.

    The oppressors of innocent children will surely be dealt with, justly. Allah Will deal with them if they are led go in the World. What is the Court of Allah for, except His Justice and Mercy? (And Allah Knows Best). And Know that He Is The Most Just.

    If He Has led the children suffer, that does not mean He does not see them. He does see everything. He tests people by this. Like He Is testing you. You became furious and asked why Allah does this. Some people use abusive words for Allah, did you know that? May Allah Guide them.

    We must do what we can to help these children and be successful in our tests and earn His Reward and His Mercy in His Court.

    There are people in Syria who are suffering more than we can imagine. It is from the Qadr of Allah, and His tests. Of course, the oppression is not from Him, but the deeds of the oppressive people. We can be furious at this, but patiently deal with it, as Allah Ordained us to in His Sharee'ah. There are many lessons in all of this and it is impossible to cover it all in one page. May Allah increase our knowledge and make us closest to Him.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

    • Salaam brother Abu Abdul Bari,

      As a child I was abused I was the youngest son of 4, my sister was also abused by a uncle. Sadly our mum passed away when we were aged between 2-7 me being the youngest, we were split in twos to stay with our relatives because our father was not responsible!!!

      I grew up messed up, not knowing what the hell was right and wrong, witnessing my sister being abused and then going through it myself, when my sister turned 16 we both ran away from home to get away from my uncle, I was around 14 at the time, my sister got a council flat after living rough for a few months, we both moved in together and she did her best if not more to support and look after me, she appeared to be fine and getting on with life "that's how it appeared anyway" I on the other hand was completely messed up, couldn't sleep, the awful images of what happens haunted me, I was trapped and I wanted to escape. I never blamed anyone because I thought it was normal I thought everyone went through the same as we did. I started taking hormone tablets to change my gender, after a couple of years process I had surgery to change myself to a women, my sister never understood my decision to be honest I til this day don't understand myself but that's no excuse. I admit I have committed a sin. I just pray Allah forgives me, when I realised what I did was against Islam it was 2 late I was 26 when I took interest in Islam although being born muslim due to our childhood abuse me and my sister were not introduced to Islam like our cousins "eg: going to mosque etc"

      My sister did well for herself, bought a house and has made herself comfortable to enjoy her future, but why is she not enjoying it? My sister is 33 now and she has locked herself away from the world, she won't let anyone in her house nor will she ever leave her house she literally sits at home and does everything. She speaks to me on the phone daily we can chat for hours, some times we FaceTime each other but she never shows her face, claiming she's gone fat, when I know she's stick thin because on occasions I have picked her items of clothing from the shop and left them at her door step.

      I'm so devastated, Im to blame because I self harm, I feel my wrong doings have effected her, my other brother and sister have moved away we don't know we're they are we have no contact with them. I have recently started to learn about Islam and I'm keen to learn more but my sister she just brushes it off. After coming across this site and reading your response it made me realise I just pray this will help my sister realise to. I'm really emotional now and I have got confused as to what I wanted to ask.

      • Wa Alaikum as Salam wa Rahmatullah,

        I am glad it was of little help. I feel sorry for what you have had to see in the past. May Allah increase your knowledge and make you His chosen servant and Forgive your sins.

        If you have anything specific to ask, you are most welcome to ask and we will be pleased to help you in any way possible, in sha Allah. You can submit a new post separately, and we will publish it in turn, in sha Allah.

        I will just point one thing, and aplogize if it offends in any way; it is serious per me, and may Allah Give us the Tawfeeq. It is attempting to change your gender. It is not too late, my dear. No one can COMPLETELY change a man into a woman and the medical world is aware of that. And doing tawbah from this may require you to return yourself to your previous state, as Allah Created you (if that is possible), after consulting medical experts (essentially, 3 trusted medical experts, as I have read the scholars mention), because I learnt that the reversal was very much possible.

        I intend to make the servants of Allah closer to Him and obey Him, so that they are Forgiven by Him and even I get a part of the Reward from my Lord. Everyone commits sins, but the best of these sinners are the ones who repent. So, do your best to repent and Please your Creator. After all, your return is to Him. You WILL return to Him one day.

        May Allah Forgive you and give you strength, Aameen.

        If you have a question, please submit a new post once you have logged in.

        Jazak Allahu Khair

        Abu Abdul Bari Editor

        • Thank you for your response,

          If I could change my gender back, then what would I do about my face and body? I have a female face and no facial body hair, I suppose there must be hormone treatments for that too? Mentally I guess you can say I am messed up, I don't know myself why I changed my gender being abused as a child could be one reason, but because I have only known that life since childhood I have grown in to allowing people abuse me. I would love to wake up and have a different life but what if that life is worser then this one? I used to drug myself to block out what me and my sister went through but I'm clean now but now I cut myself I only do this because I feel pain and I want to release it. What can I do about my sister? I want her to get married and have children and live her life, but she won't I'm so worried about her, I can't see her life this... I forwarded her your previous advice but she just said no one will understand us so it's best to just stay quite lol. I need to stop the work I do it's not helping the situation but its the only way I earn an income I have read on the Internet it's wrong to be a courtesan I'm going to get out of it. I live in the UK there's no reason for me to do this kind of work anymore. Me and my sister we are not bad people we keep ourself to ourself and we never judge anyone I'm going to get help this way I can help my sister. I spoke to my sister today and we just saying how life would have been if our mum never passed away I don't remember her because I was only young. Being abused as a child our uncle and aunt took our innocence away I don't know what we did wrong to them but they ragged us through hell for it.

          Thanks for your help I have never spoken to anyone before and I usually don't participate in anything online, but I really need help for my sister. Thank you.

          • As said, you must ask medical experts about the possibility of returning yourself back to what you were. Our return is to Allah, so we better return as He Created us, with no burden of sin upon us.

            And remember that Allah does not hold us responsible for others' deeds. We are accountable only for what we do. Yes, living the life you are currently living (as a courtesan) is highly abhorred and considered evil in Islam. It is considered haraam. But that does not mean you can't return to practicing Islam. The deed is wrong and haraam, not you. You believe in Allah and His Messenger, and Allah does not look at our faces, but at our hearts.

            If you do tawbah and look for a halaal job, and start practicing Islam completely, you will become very much like any other Muslim and remember that you are equal in Allah's Sight. What matters from now is whether you have patience and practice Islam as Allah Ordained.

            Trust in Allah and obey Him and His Messenger, and in sha Allah, all your problems will become easy and Allah Will eventually end your pain, in sha Allah.

            Abu Abdul Bari

  2. @Abu Abdul Bari

    Bro you have not answered the question at all. please if you cant answer a question dont babble other statements, cus it drives people away. or are you going to say it was a test?????

    w salam

    • Brother Azeem, what is wrong with it? Can you please correct it instead? Can it not be a test from Allah? And if you think I have not answered the question, can you provide the correct answer? And also tell me clearly how it drives the people away.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  3. Usually people take two sides for this discussion:

    Argument 1: God does not exist and that is why there is suffering OR
    Argument 2: God exists and we blame him.

    Regarding the first argument, Allah's existence is not dependent on our belief. I saw a wonderful poster with two hands--one was a robot and other other was a human hand and the caption was very thought-provoking. It said something along the lines that if it is made of wires and metal, it is created, but if it made of flesh, then it is a coincidence? Allah truly does exist beyond a doubt.

    The second argument is flawed because we blame our problems on Allah, but no one ever seems to say "Look at all the wonderful things in this world that are so amazing, how did Allah do this?" We humans often want to take the credit for the good things, but not for the bad.

    Basically the first two scenarios do not really represent the world. Allah does exist and He allows freewill. We have the will to do good or bad. We have choice to walk pass a person who is in need or chose to help. We have the choice to work hard for justice or accept our comfort in our life. We have the choice to notice those who are hungry, sad, poor, depressed, or simply keep on going in our life.

    It is indeed one of the worst things to see children suffer and be abused--so when we see the signs for horrible things, we should speak up and do something about it. We can't blame Allah as he has indeed sent us to this world for a test. Our suffering is a test. The suffering of others, is also a test--but not just their test, it is OUR test too.

    I hope this helps a little--but it really is a difficult question, because it comes down to your faith.

    • Sister Saba, this is a GREAT answer to the questioner! May Allah bless you abundantly! It is true that Allah exists whether we believe in Him or not! We can choose to believe that oxygen does not exist but whether we believe it or not it does exist and we are breathing it right now!

  4. Your question is one of the most common questions many people have. Why does Allah allow there to be evil, why do people suffer? Why do some people have more than others? Why did Allah make life not fair?

    Although there isn't one complete answer for these questions I will explain to you how I understood this after years of wondering, researching and observing.

    Human beings are different from other living things on earth because of the one thing that Allah has given us which is the ability to choose. The ability to choose and be able to make rational (and sometimes irrational) decisions is what makes us special. This ability has both good and bad consequences.

    This is how human beings are. It is our nature. It is natural and it doesn't matter if you are Muslim, Hindu, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Agnostic, Atheist, etc. As long as you are a human being by default you have this ability to make choices.

    We can choose when to sleep, we can choose if we will eat or not, we can choose either to socialize or stay at home, we can choose to love or to hurt others. A cat, dog, or another animal will not look at the food in front of them and wonder if it's healthy for them, if they should eat it, if it is the right time to eat, etc. they will just eat it because that is their nature.

    When a person looks at a child they can make two choices, one is to protect and love while other is to harm. They are held fully responsible for their actions and what they chose. The ability to choose does not stop, it is constant in everything we do and how we react to what happens to us. It is not limited only to what we choose to eat or what we choose to do in our lives. It also affects the lives of everyone around us.

    When the person decides to harm a child, that same person could have also made the choice to protect that child. Depending on the person's emotions, psychological state, character and many other things, he/she chose to hurt the child therefore they are to be punished by the law and Allah.

    Allah allows us to make our own choices and allows things to happen because of the choices we make. This does not mean that we will not be punished, this is just a way that we see why we will be punished. If that person who has hurt the child does not repent and change their ways then they will be severely punished in a way that even you would feel extremely bad for them if you happened to see the severity of their punishment that Allah will give.

    Don't think that just because Allah allows these things to happen that He is pleased with it. He will allow this to happen only for a short period of time while the punishment for these acts can be double, triple or even more than that!

    Try to have a "bigger picture" point of view when you think about things like this. It will help you feel much better when you understand the reality of the situation we are all in. Allah has created us in such a way that we become so comfortable with everything around us and whatever negative happens to us we think it is a big deal. This life is nothing but a test, this is why good and bad exists. It is about the choices you will make, will you make the wrong choices or the right choices? It is to show yourself (since Allah already knows the true nature of our characters and our hearts) if you are a good quality person or not. Good is highly appreciated and valuable when bad exists.

    As for why some children were born in rich, good families while others are born in bad families, abandoned, orphaned, etc. just think of it the same way as the concept of choice.

    When a couple decides to have sexual intercourse whether or not they are rich, poor, good, bad, etc. there is a chance of a woman becoming pregnant. This is also human nature and the desire for sex is there for us to reproduce. A child will be born if Allah allows it and it won't matter where he or she is born, what family they are born into, what illnesses the parents have, what unfortunate circumstances resulted in the pregnancy (such as rape), the child will be born.

    There are people in this world who have worked hard and became rich, do they not deserve a child because of their wealth? There are people who are poor and want a child, do they not deserve a child because they are poor? There are teenagers who have premarital sex and have children, there couples who are sick and terminally ill who have children, it doesn't matter who has the child as long as there is sex involved there is a chance of pregnancy regardless of the circumstances. This is natural.

    As for the children who are innocent and are suffering, Allah loves children very much. He lets us know that they are innocent and even tells us to protect them. All children regardless of what their parents are, are Muslim so those who have died during this time inshAllah will go to Paradise. Allah has given them a one way ticket to paradise just because they have suffered so much.

    We are here in this earth to worship Allah and to do good deeds, one would be to protect these children. Finding good homes for orphans, fostering and simply teaching these children good morals can play a positive role in their lives. There is still hope for these children as long as we are here and as many bad people there are in this world there is just as much good people also.

    I have been someone who has been abused as a child and at that time I didn't know what was going on in my life and why it was happening to me but as I got older I have realized that it has helped me practice one of the greatest character traits of all, forgiveness. I was able to forgive those who have abused me physically, emotionally and sexually and move on with my life. Now whenever someone hurts me I am able to forgive and let go much more easily. I am not saying abuse is a good thing and goods things come out of it but different people have different outcomes. There may be those who come out of it shattered and in need of help, and there are those who choose to heal and move on to a better life.

    Lets make a dua for all those who have been abused in any way and may Allah give them a place in Jannah for their suffering in this life. Ameen.

  5. @Abu Abdul Bari

    Akhi sometime we have to put our hands up and say the obvious. We just don not know. how can Allah be testing s child who is 5,6,7,8,9,etc.

    It is crazy to think Allah the Al Mighty is testing a child 'ponder over this for a second please' I really think there is no straight answer to this. Saying things like it is a test drives people away as you leave with more questions than answers.


    • Oh come on, Akhee, that is obvious. You misjudged my comment. Now, think about the parents of the child, the oppressors and the people seeing the child suffer. And then read my comment again. It is they who are tested, each differently. The child is helpless and it is non sense to say he or she is being tested.

      Read the post and then relate my comment about Dhulm, because by saying "why Allah Allows", people actually ascrible dhulm to Allah, not realizing that it is the choice of the creation to act this way.

      The question has to do with questioning Allah's Power, blaming Allah for the deeds of the creation. Now, with this perspective, read my comment again.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  6. All praise is indeed due to Allah and he is all able and capable, he can do as he pleases and nobody can say or do anything to him...he is Allah, the king of all kings, the one who owns all kingdoms...the lives of the entire world is in his hands. Okay 1st of all you say that why Allah let them be abused like that and why can't they live a happy life,well, Allah had prepared a special place for all the believers and only Allah knows the reason why he let it happen, read the story of the prophet musa ... Remember the relationship between the creator and the creation, if something good happens, the believer is thankful and if something bad happens, the believer nears with it and have patience that it is good...

  7. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    I remember Wael telling me my answers are no longer welcomed here. I'm going to take advantage of that and, I hope this comment will be allowed and another comment of mine which I plan to make on a case of child abuse which I recently read on this site(and it brought me to similar hhoughts so it is pretty amazing that I am reading that someone else had similar thoughts as well.)

    Firstly, this questioning is something Allah and His Messenger promised us would happen. Jews and Christians eventually came to the same questions we do know. So this is what Allah and His Messenger promised, and Allah and His Messenger spoke the truth.

    It was narrated on the authority of Abu Sa‘eed may Allaah be pleased with him that the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), said: “You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you hand span by hand span, cubit by cubit, to the extent that if they enter the hole of a lizard, you will enter it too.’ We said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?’ He said: ‘Who else?’” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

    1) Everything is perfectly settled by Allah aza wa jal on yawm al Qiyamah.

    Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdullah bin Muhammad bin `Aqil heard Jabir bin `Abdullah say, "I was told about a Hadith which a man heard from the Prophet , so I bought a camel and put my saddle on it, then I traveled on it for a month until I came to Ash-Sham, where `Abdullah bin Unays was. I said to the doorkeeper, `Tell him that Jabir is at the door.' He said, `Jabir bin `Abdullah' I said, `Yes.' So he came out, still putting his garment on, and embraced me, and I embraced him, and said: `I heard a Hadith narrated by you, that you heard from the Messenger of Allah about reciprocal punishments. I was afraid that you or I would die before I could hear it.' He said, `I heard the Messenger of Allah say:

    «يَحْشُرُ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ النَّاسَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَوْ قَالَ: الْعِبَادَ عُرَاةً غُرْلًا بُهْمًا»

    (Allah will gather the people -- or His servants -- on the Day of Resurrection, naked, uncircumcised and Buhman.) I asked, `What is Buhman' He said,

    لَيْسَ مَعَهُمْ شَيْءٌ، ثُمَّ يُنَادِيهِمْ بِصَوْتٍ يَسْمَعُهُ مَنْ بَعُدَ كَمَا يَسْمَعُهُ مَنْ قَرُبَ: أَنَا الْمَلِكُ، أَنَا الدَّيَّانُ لَا يَنْبَغِي لِأَحَدٍ مِنْ أَهْلِ النَّارِ أَنْ يَدْخُلَ النَّارَ وَلَهُ عِنْدَ أَحَدٍ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ حَقٌّ حَتَّى أُقِصَّهُ مِنْهُ، وَلَا يَنْبَغِي لِأَحَدٍ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ أَنْ يَدْخُلَ الْجَنَّةَ وَلَهُ عِنْدَ رَجُلٍ مِنْ أَهْلِ النَّارِ حَقٌّ حَتَّى أُقِصَّهُ مِنْهُ حَتَّى اللَّطْمَة»

    (They will have nothing with them. Then a voice will call out to them that will be heard by those far away just as easily as it will be heard by those near: "I am the Sovereign, I am the Judge. None of the people of Hell should enter Hell if he is owed something by one of the people of Paradise, until I have settled the matter, and none of the people of Paradise should enter Paradise if he is owed something by one of the people of Hell, until I settle the matter -- even if it is only the case of a slap.'') We said, `How will that be, when we have come before Allah barefooted, naked, uncircumcised and having nothing with us' He said,

    «بِالْحَسَنَاتِ وَالسَّيِّئَات»

    (By ﴿merit for﴾ good deeds, and ﴿recompense﴾ for evil deeds.) Shu`bah narrated from Al-`Awwam bin Muzahim from Abu `Uthman from `Uthman bin `Affan, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah said:

    «إِنَّ الْجَمَّاءَ لَتَقْتَصُّ مِنَ الْقَرْنَاءِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَة»

    (The animal who lost a horn will settle the score with the one that has horns on the Day of Resurrection.) It was recorded by `Abdullah the son of Imam Ahmad, and there are corroborating narrations through other routes.

    2) We are not to question Allah aza wa jal.

    3) Allah aza wa jal promised something far severer than anything these children go through in the akhirah. He condemned the majority of his slaves to Jahannam-forever.

    At-Tirmidhi recorded from `Imran bin Husayn that when the words,

    ﴿يَـأَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ﴾

    (O mankind! Have Taqwa of your Lord.) Until His saying,

    ﴿وَلَـكِنَّ عَذَابَ اللَّهِ شَدِيدٌ﴾

    (but Allah's torment is severe.) were revealed, the Prophet was on a journey, and he said:

    «أَتَدْرُونَ أَيُّ يَوْمٍ ذَلِكَ؟ قَالُوا: اللهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَعْلَمُ. قَالَ: ذَلِكَ يَوْمٌ يَقُولُ اللهُ لِآدَمَ: ابْعَثْ بَعْثَ النَّارِ، قَالَ: يَا رَبِّ وَمَا بَعْثُ النَّارِ؟ قالَ: تِسْعُمِائَةٍ وَتِسْعَةٌ وَتِسْعُونَ إِلَى النَّارِ وَوَاحِدٌ إِلَى الْجَنَّة»

    (Do you know what Day that is) They said, "Allah and His Messenger know best.'' (He said: That is the Day on which Allah will say to Adam, "Send forth (those of your progeny) who are to be sent to the Fire.'' He will say, "O Lord, how many are to be sent to the Fire'' He will say, "From every thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine will be in the Fire and one will be in Paradise.'') The Muslims started to weep, then the Messenger of Allah said:

    «قَارِبُوا وَسَدِّدُوا، فَإِنَّهَا لَمْ تَكُنْ نُبُوَّةٌ قَطُّ إِلَّا كَانَ بَيْنَ يَدَيْهَا جَاهِلِيَّةٌ، قَالَ: فَيُؤْخَذُ الْعَدَدُ مِنَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ، فَإِنْ تَمَّتْ، وَإِلَّا كُمِّلَتْ مِنَ الْمُنَافِقِينَ، وَمَا مَثَلُكُمْ وَمَثَلُ الْأُمَمِ إِلَّا كَمَثَلِ الرَّقْمَةِ فِي ذِرَاعِ الدَّابَّةِ، أَوْ كَالشَّامَةِ فِي جَنْبِ الْبَعِير»

    (Be close in your rank and be straight forward, for there was never any Prophet but there was a time of ignorance just before his advent, so the number will be taken from that time of ignorance, and if that is not enough, it will be made up from the hypocrites. A parable of yours in comparison to the other nations is that, you are like a mark on the foreleg of an animal, or a mole on the flank of a camel.) Then he said,

    «إِنِّي لَأَرْجُو أَنْ تَكُونُوا رُبُعَ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّة»

    (I hope that you will be a quarter of the people of Paradise.) They said, "Allahu Akbar!'' Then he said,

    «إِنِّييَلَأرْجُو أَنْ تَكُونُوا ثُلُثَ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّة»

    (I hope that you will be a third of the people of Paradise.) They said, "Allahu Akbar!'' Then he said,

    «إِنِّييَلَأرْجُو أَنْ تَكُونُوا نِصْفَ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّة»

    (I hope that you will be half of the people of Paradise.) They said, "Allahu Akbar!'' Then he ﴿the narrator﴾ said, "I do not know if he said two-thirds or not.'' This was also recorded by Imam Ahmad. Then At-Tirmidhi also said, "This is a Hasan Sahih Hadith.''

    4) Have you ever considered that maybe you and I are being tested in how we care for these people. Do you think we are just put on this earth by Allah aza wa jal and he will not see as to how we care for those who were raised in the most horrific circumstances?

    Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Those who are merciful will be shown mercy by the Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you. The womb is derived from the Merciful, so whoever keeps relations with his family then Allah will keep relations with him, and whoever abandons his family then Allah will abandon him.”

    Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1924

    Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to At-Tirmidhi

    عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو يَبْلُغُ بِهِ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الرَّاحِمُونَ يَرْحَمُهُمْ الرَّحْمَنُ ارْحَمُوا مَنْ فِي الْأَرْضِ يَرْحَمْكُمْ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاءِ الرَّحِمُ شُجْنَةٌ مِنْ الرَّحْمَنِ فَمَنْ وَصَلَهَا وَصَلَهُ اللَّهُ وَمَنْ قَطَعَهَا قَطَعَهُ اللَّهُ

    1924 سنن الترمذي كِتَاب الْبِرِّ وَالصِّلَةِ عَنْ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لا تنزع الرحمة إلا من شقي

    قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ

    Rahma is translated as mercy but the actual meaning is far wider-it encompasses what we consider to be care, nurture and compassion.

    5) No matter how severe Allah ,made a persons life, he is our master. He does as he wills to his slave. And anyone who is brought up in this severe circumstance and disbelieves is worthy of Jahannam and is ungrateful to Allah aza wa jal because Allah has offered us lush gardens under which flow rivers which we may remain in forever-that offer alone means we can never thank him enough.

    Anas ibn Maalik may Allaah be pleased with him reported: “The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: 'Among the inmates of Hell will be a person who had led a very luxurious life in this world will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and dipped in the Hellfire, he will then be asked: `O son of Aadam! Did you ever experience any comfort? Did you (ever) happen to have any luxury?' He will reply: `I swear by Allaah, no my Lord.' Then, another person, who had experienced extreme misery in the life of this world, will be dipped in Paradise. He will then be asked: `O son of Aadam! Did you ever experience any misery? Did you ever encounter difficulty?' He will reply: 'I swear by Allaah, no my Lord, I neither experienced misery nor passed through hardship.'” [Muslim]

    Finally, I would like to say-we aren't the ones to judge people in these circumstances, whatever they say about Allah aza wa jal. Yes, we label Muslim whoever is clearly Muslim and we label whoever disbelieved as mushrik and appropriately so. But that doesn't mean we are not to show the perfect level of correct character and rahma(care, nurture and compassion) towards these individuals.

    We DO have a duty towards them. A collective duty and it is time we acted that because very soon, death will arrive to us all and we will be questioned.

    • What was my reason for telling you that? I have forgotten.

      Wael Editor

      • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

        I believe you want to know the answer to why I was banned. You must respond with salams because I remember in a hadith that we do not answer questions without receiving salams(I think, it is fuzzy in my memory.) Please read my short bit, all the way to the end. May Allah preserve you.

        I kaffirized Faraz Rabbani because of a fatwa of his where he justified calling upon other than Allah aza wa jal, something which, from what I have heard from a reliable source, the Quran condemns no less than 200 times, which the Prophet sallahualayhiwasalam made clear was shirk, and which is something the Sahaba, the rest of the Salaf and all the Muslims since have agreed on is shirk.

        I also have it from another Sheikh, Ibrahim Desai who indirectly kaffirized Faraza Rabbani(he was shown that fatwa and essentially said that anyone who does this is a disbeliever, his wife is no longer lawful for him, and so on.)

        Alim Taqi Uthmani(I am sure you have heard of him) on on record saying he does not remember having that conversation with Faraz Rabbani(he mentioned him by name) and his stance is clear-he considers it shirk of course. Him and his fellows don't kaffirize Sufis like Ibn Arabi because they believe they were "intoxicated" when they made their statements of kufr.

        The rest of the Ulema of course, consider Ibn Arabi to be a kaffir.

        Tangents aside, Taqi Uthmani is a Muslim alim who obviously would consider Faraz Rabbani a mushrik if he was aware of that fatwa.

        Note, I do not follow these scholars, however, Faraz Rabbani clearly comes from this background. And all his elders consider this act,(as every Muslim should) to be explicit shirk.

        That wasn't the reason I was banned exactly. It was because I had an alleged habit of kaffirizing people too much.

        I don't actually remember kaffirizing anybody, but I do remember citing fatwas on the status of a person who abandons salah(i.e, as Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Ibn Taymiyya and Ibn Qayyim concluded, he is a kaffir.)

        Abu Abdul Bari is of the same opinion so I don't really see how I was condemned for that. Also, it is a fatwa from scholars from Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jama'ah, not a deviated sect like the Khawaarij, so I don't see how I am condemned for that.

        Especially when we find a statement like this on this website that you have created

        "4] Remember you are a disbeliever at the time of committing adultery!"

        Cut and paste from your very own website brother. I suggest you edit that.

        That being said, you and Abu Abdul Bari are two people I can't help but love to death even if you ban/censure me. If Allah aza wa jal forces love in my heart, I can't bring it out(smiley face.) I was naturally a bit riled I think when I got banned however, there are incentives from our Master to not hold grudges. Please let me comment on this page though

        I appreciate all the work you do and the benefit I have received from this website. I visit it even though I am banned. It helps me, by the permission of Allah aza wa jal, see how much I have compared to those who were given so much less than me. So whatever the case, may Allah keep you correct and give you a good ending.

        Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said to me:

        يَا بُنَيَّ إِنْ قَدَرْتَ أَنْ تُصْبِحَ وَتُمْسِيَ لَيْسَ فِي قَلْبِكَ غِشٌّ لِأَحَدٍ فَافْعَلْ

        O boy, if you are able every morning and evening to remove any rancor from your heart towards anyone, then do so.

        Then the Prophet said to me:

        يَا بُنَيَّ وَذَلِكَ مِنْ سُنَّتِي وَمَنْ أَحْيَا سُنَّتِي فَقَدْ أَحَبَّنِي وَمَنْ أَحَبَّنِي كَانَ مَعِي فِي الْجَنَّة

        O boy, that is my tradition and whoever revives my tradition has loved me, and whoever loves me will be with me in Paradise.

        Source: Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2678, Grade: Hasan

        Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

        • Wa alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

          Oh yeah, now I remember. "Kaffirizing" - that's a new one for me. Sounds like a chemical process. "The disbeliever has been thoroughly kaffirized, you can take him away now."


  8. Sometimes rather than to ask "Why does Allah allow..." we should instead ask ourselves "How would Allah like me to respond?" Child abuse, forced child labor, families living in dire poverty, human trafficking, lack of medical and educational opportunities etc. are all areas in which we can respond. Become a foster parent, donate to organizations that work to combat these issues, volunteer your time with agencies that work with abused children, be a volunteer educator, mentor a child in need. We can ask, or we can respond.

    • Lydia, that's a very good thought, thank you.

      Wael Editor

      • Bro. Wael,
        It's a simple thought really, for isn't that precisely what the Prophet Muhammad did? He looked at the social injustices of his time and made a change for the betterment of society? He did not lament and ask "Why?" He did not try to figure out why Allah does what he does. He saw a need to make a change in the workings of his society and he implemented those changes. For sure he did so by Allah's guidance. And the rest of us are not prophets, but when we are so touched by the plight of others, perhaps that is Allah's way of nudging us to do what we can to make a difference in this world and create a just society. My personal opinion is that Allah gives some hardships to test their faith and resiliency, but also to test those of us with little hardship. How will we of little hardship respond to those in dire need? Will we turn away? Will we be glad we are not them? Will we blame them or their caste, or their parents? Will we donate during Ramadan but close our eyes for the other 11 months of the year? How shall we respond? How should we respond?

  9. Asalaam o'alaikum, I'm an avid reader of these posts and felt particularly compelled to comment on this one. Perhaps this was a form of release that Allah swt had intended for me to stumble upon, who knows. I'd just like to say - when you are the individual who was abused, sexually, physically and mentally, it is a difficult task to 'put a positive spin on it' or see it as an opportunity to do good. I speak from experience and as I type this, I'm tearful. The mental weight of what some of us carry is indeed heavy and when combined with the pressures of being a single daughter in today's society - the load is too much! I must commend the sister who commented on her ability to forgive those who did her wrong. I'm struggling with this, I see this family member everyday. He's never apologised for what he did, or even acknowledged it. I've been through all the motions, denial, self loathing, self harm.. and have never made my peace with any of it.

    • Assalamu alaikum to all. I was reading Quran and came across Surah al nisa ayat 79 which confirms all good is from Allah and all bad is from our own souls and strait away I my mind went to child molestation. After giving it some thought I realized that whether it is a child or adult that is made a victim, a victim is still a victim, as in weakened helpless and violated regardless of age. So to me this eliminates the notion of a more innocent victim and therefore more horrendous crime. Secondly, it sounds to me that each person who has suffered has done so in an environment and society that is not Islamic and my reason for making this point is to highlight the importance of sharia and hudud punishments in deterring, preventing and punishing such and actually all crimes. So these things will happen more in non Muslim societies as we know they do. Muslim societies set up proper I would say would never experience such cases and I have never heard of such in any Islamic text or record. Which brings me to my next point which is that by going to and living in a non Muslim country you are breaking from the jammat and dwelling with the kufar and this is against the sunnah and so it is a situation where your clothes and food and etc... are haram and then you are asking from Allah in this state. Allah is all wise and merciful but this is the state of being in a non Muslim country. As to the effect these things have on people, I am sure punishing the perpetrator would do great good for the mind of the victim and would help the healing process to punish the offender instead of themselves as a result of justice being known and done. Thereafter of course the appropriate care should be offered such and any victim as what do Muslims pay zakat for if not to help the needy. I have read and heard of reports that indicate that all psychological damage can be repaired. So as to the question how does Allah allow such things to happen- indeed it is the evil of man that does it and not Allah and even man errors by not listening and obeying and thus exposes themselves to harm. Allah is just and while children may suffer as a result of there parents misgivings there is no blame to be placed on them and I think if they understood this and got justice the effects of their parents bad decisions that have lead to their trauma can be reversed if they turn to Allah and follow his religion. Even with all the bad experience following Allah is the true thing to do for the righteous and Allah can heal the heart in an instant and make it free of all and any pain just like that. But evil ones choose to take their misfortune as an excuse to do bad themselves knowing that it is bad and so they themselves turn away from the good and goose to be bad. All levels of bad people do this or keep trying to convince themselves they are not bad because they are liars and arrogant. So brothers and sisters I am trying to say, turn to Allah and his religion and understand what has gone wrong and see what has happened as being wrong and face that in the light of Quran and sunnah and then strive with your hand or your mouth or your heart and stand for what is good. Turn to Allah more and more and speak with him and you will find a sincerity in yourself and this sincerity is what reaches Allah. If you struggle and turn to Allah with the questions in your mind he will open your heart to his mercy and what was hurting in your mind will be removed from you as if you have been dipped in Jennah. We harm ourselves with thoughts of reason but Allah is above and so superior to that and that makes perfect reason and sense because he is All mighty. Come back to the Quran and sunnah in all ways and benefit in this life and the next. It is our way, it is the only way for life and it is so worth it as everlasting paradise awaits and nothing is worth giving up on the unimaginable joys awaiting you there. The big picture is that it is a test but our picture is to reconcile so that we can obey and follow as do the wise and fortunate. Your children and humanity will love you for it. And I am not intending to criticize anyone in particular for leaving the jammat or a so called Muslim country because it may be argued where is that and how can I be there. There are such places though and where there is a will Allah can make a way.Masalama

      • Tez,

        You say:

        "Even with all the bad experience...Allah can heal the heart in an instant and make it free of all and any pain just like that.....If you struggle and turn to Allah with the questions in your mind he will open your heart to his mercy and what was hurting in your mind will be removed from you as if you have been dipped in Jennah. We harm ourselves with thoughts of reason but Allah is above and so superior to that and that makes perfect reason and sense because he is All mighty."

        This is very soothing and uplifting.


        • Wallahi it is true. I know this from personal experience. I think most people could find a reason in their life to turn away from being good, but those who are good don't. But it is a struggle to be good until you realize that you are in need of Allah and his mercy and turn to him. Each person may tread a different path in that way but the end result is the same. And then when you find the truth in Allah and he grants you his mercy you realize all the bad happened in your life for the sole reason that you would turn to him and in fact you will be thankful or indifferent for the bad that happened to you because from it you found and learned the truth and your heart was made pure again from receiving Allah's mercy and you will think, feel and say subhanAllah indeed Allah is great and there is nothing like him and more than this you will experience his mercy and never ever grieve again. Oh yes, there is heaven waiting with its bliss too 🙂 Allah is the ever living, Allah is therefore the source of all positivity that creates and maintains all existence so what can't Allah do for your life 🙂 He asks in return that you would only give him his due.

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