Choosing a spouse between two proposals, How to do istikhara for it?
Assalam O Alaikum,
I am a 3rd year B.ds student. Among all the proposals for marriages, two proposal are of such guys that I admire them the most. Both are very good guys, and above all both love me, one of them (the 1st one) loves me since childhood and the other person (the 2nd one) got interested in me while we studied together at college.
I really cannot decide to choose whom, sometimes I am inclined toward first one and others towards the second one. If you advise me istikhara, then tell me what should I say in niyyat (intention) and should I do it myself? Although I am not a very good Muslim but now I need ALLAH'S help in choosing the right spouse.
Confused Girl.
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Salamualaikum,
Sister, it is important that YOU like the person, because it is you who is going to spend your life with him.
Whenever you have a confusion about a way to choose between two or more, Istikhaarah is a proven method of seeking Allah's counsel.
Niyyah is what you intend. If you intend to do the Istikhaarah prayer and you do wadoo for it or any other prayer you'd be praying along with it, that insha Allah suffices as a Niyyah.
The following Hadith gives you the method and the dua for Istikhaarah:
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah : The
Prophet (p.b.u.h) used to teach us the
way of doing Istikhara (Istikhara means to ask Allah to guide one to the
right sort of action concerning any job
or a deed), in all matters as he taught
us the Suras of the Quran. He said,
"If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer): --
'Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa as'alaka min fadlika al-'azim, Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta'lamu Wala a'lamu, Wa anta 'allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta'lam anna hadha-l-amr (mention your need here - the names of the two boys) Khairun li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri Faqdirhu li wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha-lamra (mention your need here) shar-run li fi dini wa ma'ashi wa'aqibati amri. Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li al-khaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi.'
(O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter (your need) Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter--(your need)--Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, And make me satisfied with it)
You should do the istikhaarah with complete trust in Allah and say the dua with total conviction, and insha Allah, you'll find what Allah's Help.
If you ask me, I would tell you to know who is more Religious, and then decide.
I hope it helps insha Allah.
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
thnx brother, your reply helped me alot. i tried to do istikhara, but i didnot get any proper answer. but anyhow i assumed that the sign i saw in my dream favoured one of them and i made up my mind for the 1st person. the next day my friend told me that she too had done istikhara for me and she found signs favouring the second person . this made me quiet confused again.
Sister,
Do not rely on someone else's Istikhaarah. You do your Istikhaarah and you look for Allah's Choice. When you have chosen someone, put your trust in Allah that he IS THE CORRECT PERSON and move ahead. Then insha Allah, you will even have Barakah in it, and it will become easier for you, if it is Allah's Choice. So, just move ahead with your choice and trust in Allah.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salamualaikum!
I have similar problems but it's like I don't know when to do the istikhara! I ve done it a couple of times! I don't kno what results to expect and how to kno who the right person actually is!
Salam
I really have a complicated sitaution, I have someone who is willing to be with me for the past 10years but Allah knows I don't love him and on the other I have someone I met that I love every woman's dream,very religious ,I wants to get married but something is holding him that he needs time ,pls what should I do?
slm,i am having the confusion here nd when the first istakhara i saw the second person...yesterday i do another,he is the one i saw...
Yea I guess, to be successful, you have to choose the one who is RELIGIOUS, has shame, has modesty, has piety, has politeness etc. Dont go for looks only. See among the two, whose family background is somewhat Ideal. Basically in the end, marriage is the completion of half the faith and so therefore a devoted muslim man is much better. Do not decide all by yourself, ask your parents and family for help. See what is their choices too. And then perform salat al istikharra.
All the best insha'Allah.
thank u so much 🙂 jazakaALLAH 🙂
ɑssαlαϻƱ αlαykυϻ ,
Please I ђανε a really complicated situation here.
I read an article which says that its prohibited ƒor a muslimah to ђανε a boyfriend ɑnð really got scared.
Ɯεll I ђανε a boyfriEnd or rather a guy I really would L♥̸̨
ѵε to get married to .
We talked about marriage ɑnð I agreed without telling ϻƴ mom .sO after we had talked about ɪ̇†
,I started telling ϻƴ mom things about him ɑnð she showed ๓ε she ωαs okay with ɪ̇†
. Ђε came to ϻƴ house to gtreet ϻƴ mom, βυt there ωαs Ω̶o formality or introduction to tђε marriage. After a year , n
Ϻƴ mom started talking to ๓ε about tђιs other guy ,telling ๓ε he's ǥooð ɑnð al that. I wasn't interested ɑ† first. Βυt later ♡
Ω̶ I found oƱt that he's a very ǥooð guy. Βυt tђε fact still remains that I really L♥̸̨
ѵε ϻƴ first ɑnð like ϻƴ moms choice. Ϻƴ mom doesn't like ϻƴ choice. I'm really confused , sometimes I feel I'm disrespecting her βυt I L♥̸̨
ѵε ϻƴ choice and he's very obedient ɑnð religous too.
Sister humairah, please log in and write your question as a separate post and we will advise you in turn, Insha'Allah. And when you do so, please type in normal characters and not these odd characters you are using here.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Humairah, It is not comfortable to read the stylish font you write in, and perhaps your post will not be published if you do not write in clearly readible font. You will have to register in order to login. You can find the link to register and login after that, on the upper right of the homepage, below "recent stories".
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ɑssalam,
Please I have a really complicated situation here.
(Remainder of comment has been removed. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor)
Salamualykum
I hope everyone is well by the grace of Allah SWT.
I actually have a dilemma, two good muslim men have proposed to me through my father, I have spoken with both of them and they're both practicing, educated, seemingly have good families msA. The only difference is that one family is pushing for an earlier marriage (in a few months which is difficult) and the other is a bit more laid back and would like to take things slow (approx a year).
InshAllah I hope Allah clears the confusion, I have perfomed istikhara, I just wanted to ask for advice.
Jzk khair.
"o", please log in and write your question as a separate post, and when you do please give us more information about the two men, as you have given us very little to go on.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam,I was wondering how do you do istikhara for two men.Do you do them separately with separate rakah or join them.Am confused
Please am confused, i have performed istikhara but the result does not favour anyone, is it possible to perform istikhara and both guys will not have good sign