I committed adultery, how can I gain Allah’s forgiveness?
I am looking for advice, I converted to islam 3 years ago through marriage. 2 years ago I committed adultery twice. I was going through a bad time with my husband at the time.
I am very ashamed of what I did and now its just stuck in my mind. I'm scared of Allah and I'm kind of avoiding Islam because I feel dirty and non Muslim because Muslims do not behave in this way.
Is there anything I can do or say for Allah to forgive me? I love my husband and I'm very happy. Now I want to become clean and start to enjoy Islam again instead of being scared.
Please someone help me
~ Aysha11
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Salaam Aysha.
Adultery is a grave sin, however Allah swt is the Most Merciful and if you sincerely repent He will forgive you.
"Do not despair of God's mercy; He will forgive you of all your sins".Qur'an (39:53).
"Except those who repent, have faith and good deeds, those Allah will charge their sins for good deeds. Certainly Allah is most forgiving and merciful." (Qur'an 25:70)
How to repent?
For repentance to be accepted by Allah, one should go through these four stages:
1- Stop the sin.
2- Regretting deeply and truly for the sin you committed.
3- Return to Allah for forgiveness.
4- Strong intention never to return to that same sin again.
What would help in fulfilling the above four stages?
The repenting person should remember three facts:
1. The grave consequence of sins.
2. The painful punishment for sins and
3. How week a person is when committing such sins.
Abu Bakr Al siddiq (May Allah be pleased with him), narrated:
"I heard Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) saying: ‘There isn’t a man who, when he commits a sin, rises, makes ablution, and offers two rak'as of prayers, but Allah forgives his sins.’
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Those (are the true believers) who, when they commit an evil deed, or wrong their souls, remember Allah, and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who but Allah forgives sins? They do not insist upon the sins they have committed, and they know (that Allah is forgiving)." (Qur'an 3:135)
1) Hadith Qudsi: Allah, the Almighty, has said:
O Son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O Son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O Son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins as great as the earth, and were you then to face Me ascribing no partners to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.
2) Prophet (SW) has said:
A certain person had committed 99 murders. He went to a scholar and asked, is there any chance of my being forgiven? The scholar said no, you have committed too many crimes. The man killed the scholar too, but his heart was restless, so he went to another scholar and asked the same question. He was told yes, but you must leave this town of bad people and go live in the next town in the company of good people.
So the man set out to the town he was told to go to. On the way he died. A man passing by saw two angels arguing over his dead body. The Angel from Hell said, 'His body belongs to me as he had not done any good in his life.' The Angel from Heaven said, 'His body belongs to me as he had repented and was set out to be with good people.' The man who was the passer-by said, 'Let us measure the distance of his body from the town he left and the town he was going to.'
This was done. He was found to be nearer to the town he was going to. In another version, the earth was ordered by Allah to shrink and make the distance smaller, so that he was admitted to Heaven
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/
The chief of prayers for forgiveness is:
"Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa,
anta khalaqtani wa ana abduka,
wa ana 'ala ahdika wa wa'dika mastata'tu,
A'udhu bika min Sharri ma sana'tu,
abu'u Laka bini'matika 'alaiya,
wa Abu'u bidhanbi faghfirli
innahu la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa anta."
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Aalihi Wa Sallam) added.
"If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it, and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise;
and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it,
and dies before the morning, he will be from the people of Paradise."
{ Al-Bukhari }
You can hear it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nP6PyRV2ek
Sister you can no longer allow this sin to hold you back from moving forward and getting closer to Allah. It is shaytaan that is making you despair over this. Repent sincerely and spend time in salat and reading Qur'an. Work to get closer to Him. Also do not reveal your sin to your husband - Our sins are between us and Allah. It is our duty to conceal them, except when seeking help. Of course also be a good wife to your husband and do not keep friendships with men or ever be alone with a man. Anything which can lead to a sin is a sin.When the sin comes to mind say 'Astaghfirullah.' but do not let it hold you down.
May Allah forgive you and ease your heart and give you Jannatul Firdaws.
Ameen
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Subhanallah, mashaallah. I was looking for the same answer as aysha11 did. I really pray to Allah subhanahuwataala that my sin will be forgiven. Doing adultery somehow is addicted and not easy to leave it, unless one have high spirit or strong emotion.
Jazakallah
Is Allah gonna forgive u if u did bad on the pass and u become good and u prove that u become good Muslim. I love Allah
Yes, Allah will forgive.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I. Too Committed zina now I am. Afraid and iwants to return to.allah now I will follow ur rules as u were mentioned it above in the points; will Allah (s.w.t) forgive my sins and I will send darood to our prophet (p.b.u.h) to clear my sins I am ashamed for what I have done , I want to repent I want to escape from fire of hell
Dear Sister,
May Allah Bless you and help you achieve the path of Allah
Finally my heart can rest in peace as I am relieved with the pain av been going through. I accepted shytwan when I was going thru a hard times in my marriage. I'v all along knew that it was wrong and it was also so painful to me coz I love Allah so much and my deen through out my life.
From my childhood, as an orphan from age 6-8 I had been going through insecurity from the devil. being risen by aunt and rough mujtamaa around was so much pushing someone into committing evil doings against Allah.
Its been tough in life but I have Allah to thank and the beautiful teachings of our Prophet Muhammad SAW.
They have been my guide lines through out my life span. Am a married woman for over 24 years and aged 47.\
I have two girls.
Thank you Kalamullah for the answer. Jazakallahu Khairan.
Radhiya Omar Qoyyan
Mombasa Kenya
Jazakallah
I want to ask a quetion I have commited zina my husband and I didn't live the same country I had a college friend and I commuted zina with him two times.I ask Allah forgiveness and repent I went to my husband couple of moths later I got pregnant with my second child with him.and 2 years later I found out my husband was cheating on me and he has a daugher .I know I'm stupid for me to forget what i did but my family telling me should ask for divocre and because they in the same country with my husband they always find new information about him that made me jelouse and I commuted zina again my family doesn't know my zina and I feel shameful for what i did and i feel i should tell my husband what i did I don't know what to do pls help me
namaza1, there is no benefit in telling your husband. It sounds like your marriage is a disaster from start to finish. I say follow your family's advice and ask for a divorce. And you have a lot of growing up to do, and a lot of repentance ahead of you, as you have committed serious sins.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
That reminds of a story I read somewhere....I'm not sure how true it is, or how accurately im describing it. But there was a man who behaved badly his whole life, going against islam, until one day he died and had to face Allah swt. He was terrified and realised the extent of his sins, but obviously it was too late. I cannot fully remember the details of the story, but he was given the punishment of hell, and he ran towards it. He ran towards hell!! This was obviously shocking, and so when Allah swt asked him why he was running towards hell, the man replied that with the extent of his sins he did not think that Allah swt would even acknowledge him,and the fact that Allah swt had acknowledged him madehim so happy that he started running towards hell. Allah swt was so plaeased by this, that he forgave this mans sins and he was granted heaven. May Allah swt forgive me if this story is false, or if I have written it incorrectly, but the moral of the story is so beautiful. Allah swt is so merciful, our mothers love us so dearly and wil do anything to make us happy, but Allah swt loves us so much more than that, so we need to rely on Him and ask Him for forgiveness and He will grant it inshaAllah so that we can start our lives from scratch and focus on pleasing Him only.
May Allah swt forgive all of our sins, and guide us on the right path, ameen.
Assalamalaikum sister,
Repent Repent Repent. Do NOT let shaytan stop you from doing this. May Allah forgive us all for our sins. Ameen
As sister Sara posted:
1- Stop the sin.
2- Regret deeply and truly for the sin you committed.
3- Return to Allah for forgiveness.
4- Strong intention never to return to that same sin again
You have probably already fulilled steps 1, 2 and 4.
Now just do step 3 and REPENT sincerely!
Salam
So what happens when u tell ur husband...am also facing the same issue.but mine I told him and now he is treating badly everyday...he insults me and tell me hireable things
Pls help me..am thinking of quitting the marriage since he can't forgive me completely...i told him to Wrk on making me happy so that I won't think of any man and he is not ready to resolve himself to make me happy....we have two children... please help me,what do I do now?
Salam All
All i can say to the sister is repent and repent and then repent some more.
But i dont mean to sound harsh with you but this is the reason why i wont and never will trust a woman is because the absolute reality is that your wife can cheat on you at any time. Now your wife or any woman will never admit to the fact that your wife can cheat on you at any time but because i am so sceptical I am not likely to get manipulated by women or people in general.
It deos not mean I wont get married but women like you make my blood boil especially when the husband has been faithful to his wife.
Salam Brother
From deepest of hearts i do feel what your saying and how you feel and if our sister came out here today is because she feels the pain of what she did.. lets not be judgemental but pray that Allah forgives us all for our sins. I have been there before i know how she feels and the deep regreat in her heart... May Allah have mercy on us. Ameen!!!
Get off your high horse. she admitted she was wrong and feels ashamed. rubbing dirt in her wounds won't make you any pure or any better.
and btw when you say, "Women like you..." who are you to make a distinction?
as if you have been pure all your life? no one has been pure. no one. we all have committed grave sins and are hypocrites. the difference is that this lady admits it and you and the rest of us hide it.
Allah will have more mercy in his heart for her because she admitted she was wrong than than the rest of us who act as if we are high and mighty.
Salaam,
sister not one of us can tell you what is deemed right or wrong, at the end of the day u have realised you have made a mistake. Allah is the most forgiving! You must put your focus on seeking Allahs forgiveness and guidance, By seeking Allah and if you really deeply want forgiveness you must repent only to Allah. Do not tell others about this sin, you should just focus on seeking Allahs forgiveness end of. Never feel as though you should be scared you have got to use this feeling you have and focus it on bettering yourself, we all make mistakes as muslims believe me we all have our fair share of sins. But those of us who repent to Allah will have the strength to turn our backs on evil. Simply doing your wudu and opening the Quran and reading, when you are thinking negatively will completely wash away all that worry and anxiety. Follow the right path and
In sha Allah sister you will feel better with in yourself .
Dear sister Aysha11,
Oh Allah Forgive Me
May Allah (swt) guide you and all mankind to His straight path only.
Parveen.
Salam All
I just want to say that may comment i posted on 17 November 2011 was a little harsh, i would just advise the sister to repent and not tel anyone of her sins because that would be the rational thing to advise.
I would also advise if the sister should never repeat the sin and do du'a to Allah in order to bring peace to her heart.
Also dont listen to my comment I posted on the 17 November 2011 but listen to the other cooments especially Sara's advise becuase now i believe i am wiser i feel Sara's comment is the best strategy and view that will succeed in thelong term
Wasalam u yalakum All
Asalam o Alaikum everyone.
I have been reading these beautiful and true helping advises from all brothers and sisters.
Allah swt is so merciful that He says " My mercy overpowers my wrath". All of us have sinned and Allah swt said " If all of men stopped doing mistakes, I would creat a species that would commit sins and than repent to me".
I am no different! I may have not had physical relations with any non mehram but I am guilty of chating and talking to a non mehram, it still weighted my heart heavily.
I got very depressed near the end and after it was all over , I realized that the real reason for my saddness and suicidal thoughts wasn’t that he left me, it was because Allah was angry with me and whatever I did was a sin. So I gathered many duas and astaghfars from the internet and I now pray regularly and when I am desprate and lonely I cry and ask Allah for peace. I have forgiven everyone and asked everyone for forgiveness but I am having a hard time forgiving myself, that too will come soon inshAllah.
Believe in Allah for after I had repented He gave me a great gift. I am about to get married to a man, and go into an eviroment I had always asked Allah for. I tell you this now! Allah gave me so much that I cried my eyes out of guilt and shame, that I violated so much of his rules and bounderies even so He gave me so much.
So you see... my sisters and brothers Allah loves us 60 times more than a mother and He is alwaying there for anyone who asks his forgiveness. As far as the question of purity lies, Rasool Allah (pbuh) said" a man who repents is clean and pure like a child who has recently emerged from his mother’s whomb". Our first parents Adam (a.s) and Hawa (a.s) sinned, but they repented and became clean and pure again.
A person is tested with these things so that they return to God almighty, like you have, like I have.
One more thing I have to say to CRAM, is that I am very glad that Allah softened your heart and made you comment again in more leanient manner. I want to put forth a story from our holy Prophet’s (pbuh) time. Once a wome, a shabia! Committed adultry but afterwards she regreted it and came to Phrophet (pbuh) and confessed and told him that she was pregnant with unlawful child. Prophet (pbuh) gave the duty of her to a sahabi to take care of her until the child was born and until the child started to eat solid food. Days went by and one day that women came to Prophet(pbuh) with the child in her arms while it was chewing on a peice of bread, and said "he eats now" so Prophet(pbuh) ordered for everyone to rajam her to death. When everyone was throwing stones at her, some of the blood fell on a sahabi and he used bad words for her. Prophet (pbuh) replied" do not say that, for if the toaba she has chosen was to distributed among all of you, it would be enough to take each and everyone to jannah.
That doesn’t mean that you all should confess and meet your doom. In a similar happening a sahabi committed adultry and he conffessed to Prophet(pbuh). after he was rajamed Prophet (pbuh) said saddly " what if he had repented to Allah in private(and never had told anyone)" so what anyone did in private and repented, should stay in private. For Allah says " I hide my man’s bad deeds did by him in the darkness of the night but he reveals them by himself in the daylight"
Wasalam. May Allah grant us all with the courage to repent and the will to stay pure and in His obedience. Ameen.
wa-'alaikum as-salaam wa-rahmatullah,
JazakAllah khair dear sister for your beautiful post!
MashAllah, Allah subhanahu wa-ta'ala al-muhaimin ur-rahmaan protected you from falling deeper into sin, so remember to thank Allah from saving you from that relationship.
And mashAllah it appears from your post that Allah has blessed you with a very beautiful soft heart, so remember always to thank Allah al-wahhaab for all your blessings, including your husband 🙂
And remember inshAllah, have much sabr for this life is a test of trials, and be grateful to Allah and to your husband.
And may Allah al-wadood ur-raheem bless you and your husband with true love of the aakhira and increase you in imaan and love of each other, ameen ya-rabb!
was-salaamu 'alaikum wa-rahmatullah.
Wa alaik asalam, brother. Thank you for all your kind words, wishes and duas. Ameen ya rabb.
May Allah give you peace and prosperity aswell. Wasalam...
Salam AYSHA11 , never give up on repentance to our creator.
I started to Hifz Al-Quran. To keep my mind busy away from sins that I have comitted, and to keep my mind closer and closer to Allah s.w..t.
Try it. Insya-allah.
I agree with Sara and Sabz and would like to add that each of those steps requires elaboration and work
Step 1: Stopping the sin involves understanding the root causes of what led you to sin and fortifying your marriage so that it cannot happen again. If you have stopped committing the sin then you have fulfilled that however you must take measures to close all doors to returning to the sin and that involves work on yourself and your marriage. Allah will give you His Mighty assistance in this, you have to trust Him that you can and will be pious and pure and that your self improvement will lead to you being a muslim with upright character inshaAllah.
Step 2: Regret. You must understand that this (regret) will never go away. However you also must understand that it is not suposed to and that is a good thing and a sign of faith, when regret leaves then we forget and can fall into sin. Always remember this pain. Always remember this punishment of a hellish conscience and a burning guilty heart. It is vital, I repeat, VITAL that you do NOT take the feeling of regret as a sign that Allah hasn't or won't forgive you. The closer you come to Allah, the more you will regret your sin but it will be accompanied by your happiness that Allah has allowed you to refrain from doing such wicked and disgusting acts. You will feel as though it were a different person who did that and you will regret ever having been that person but you'll be happy that you are not that person anymore. Your regret will become a feeling that you will be rewarded for.
Step 3: Returning to Allah for forgiveness also means turning to The Source of Mercy and Forgiveness so that we can have the strength to forgive ourselves. Allah forgives us and yet we ourselves refuse to forgive ourselves and this is a form of shirk. Sometimes condemning ourselves feels safer because trusting in Allah feels scary. We recognise Allah's power to destroy us and inflict severe punishment upon us but we dont recognise His power to forgive and restore us. This is a matter of faith and having a good opinion about Allah. How would you feel if you forgave someone and they refused to believe it and lived in fear of your punishment? You would be offended. Likewise this offends Allah. Also, taking His forgiveness for granted and continuing sin also offends Allah. So the sign of true forgiveness is that you no longer committ the sin.
Step 4: Strong intention never to return to that sin again means to have awareness and to consciously make intention repeatedly, not only once. You should make it a regular occurence to make intention that you will never do that again and tell yourself that everyday since shaitan is always waiting to catch us offguard with complacency. Never become complacent and feel "im cured" but be conscious and ask Allah to protect you from adultery EVERY DAY the same way that we pray for Allah to protect us from ill health, poverty, being overcome by enemies, debt, etc. I cannot stress this enough. Please do not ever feel that by doing this you have not become pure. Even those who have not committed this sin pray for Allah to protect them from it. Since you have committed this sin, you know that it is a way shaitan will try to ruin your life and marriage again because he succeeded once. By staying close to Allah and making this dua EVERY DAY for the rest of your life shows your humility to Allah by accepting that you are not perfect or free from fault. Never get complacent and feel "im above sin", "i'm better than he/she". Your intention will remain so POWERFUL and FORTIFIED that shaitan will not be able to break it. Intention is the beginning of sin. If shaitan can ever make you intend to commit a sin he has begun the process of getting you to committ. But everytime you reject it you will get a reward. Main point is that intention is for every day that we live, not just once.
As Salaamu Alaikum
May Allah forgive and assist us all
Ameen
Mashaallah, very good explanation. Thank you Brother Khalid, may Allah bless you for this assistance. When i read the step 3, it is really hit me.
MashaAllaah..such beautiful advice.certainly hit me hard with such soft and wise words. May Allaah increase you in good. JazakAllaahkhair
I love what you have wrote it makes perfects sence! I am a new muslim woman and I am trying to Learn all the do's and don'ts of Islam. ALLAH has been really working on me I've been making a lot of changes with myself so I can be the best muslim I can be. There is nothing on this earth worth going to hell for nor is it worth betraying ALLAH for.
I find it surprising that people are finding duas to give to people who committed adultery. But when people muslim girls do interfaith marriages they are told they have sinned. Can you advise your views on muslim girls marrying boys from other religion?
liwa, anyone can obtain Allah's forgiveness if they make sincere tawbah (repentance), which includes stopping the sinful action and intending not to do it again. As for your second question, a Muslim woman is not allowed to marry a non-Muslim man.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
anyone can obtain Allah's forgiveness if they make sincere tawbah (repentance)
But we all (Sister Sara) forgot the fourth requirement for sincere Tawbah: Give these peoples their right back, in this case Aysha has to ask her husband for forgiveness. So this sincere repentance will just work, if she really asks for forgiveness.
And mustlim woman aren't allowed to marry non-muslims, because this would be the same as adultery (it's fornication, because they cannot get married).
"But we all (Sister Sara) forgot the fourth requirement for sincere Tawbah: Give these peoples their right back, in this case Aysha has to ask her husband for forgiveness."
You push this point again and again without any proof. This is your own personal fiqh. Can you please provide some information explaining under what circumstances one must make restitution to a victim? Can you find any authentic Islamic information on this subject?
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Yes what she said is a hundred percent true read Sahih Muslim If you don't seek forgiveness from ones you wronged in this life Allah will not forgive you either and they will get your good deeds as a reward and the sin will remain unrepented.
Sallam to everyone,
I read your story AYSHA11 and comments of peoples here.
Alls advices i read was to my opinion really nice to follow.
But i have a question for all of you people: I always tought that,in the case i cheat on my wife ( even if i know that it is impossible it happen ), but let's say it happened. I have the duty to confess myself to my wife and she have to decide to forgive me or not. I'm wrong on that way of thinking?
I mean, even if it will destroy our relation, i thinking that we must to confess that kind of mistakes to our wife/husband because it is not only concern the offending but both. Wife/Husband who was cheated on him/her have the right to choose to forgive or not.
Of course it my opinion... Waiting for you answers.
Salam
Just want to add something to complete what i said above.
Allah is most merciful we do know that and it is an important fact. But aldutery is not only a sin who concern only the man/woman who did it and God, but it concern the sinner, his/her partner and God. I do think that we must assume the reaction of our wife/husband about what we did and hope for God's forgiveness.
Salam
Silver
No one answered this inquiry. Can any knowledgeable person do so????
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Whoever has oppressed another person concerning his reputation or anything else, he should beg him to forgive him before the Day of Resurrection when there will be no money (to compensate for wrong deeds), but if he has good deeds, those good deeds will be taken from him according to his oppression which he has done, and if he has no good deeds, the sins of the oppressed person will be loaded on him."
People here saying to keep it concealed but i disagree so hard. The honour/reputation of the husband is gone.Its violation of right toward spouse. Try to be in the shoes of the innocent husband and if u think Allah will forgive the adultery without confronting or making spouse aware for eternity, then i dont think we can call Allah the Most Just.
Hello . I am a christian with a very wide interest for world religions. I can across this site and i have a question that i hope you can answer me . I googled the following : Can a women that commited adultery be forgiven in islam? But since i already know that it can , I would like to know in which islamic religions the sharia law must apply and why or how there can be exceptions.
Peace xx
Hello. Adultery (a married person having sexual intercourse with someone other than his/her spouse) is considered a very serious sin in Islam. A person may repent for such a sin, and God may forgive him or may not. If not, that person might be punished in the Hereafter (after death). It is God's prerogative. The only way to be assured of forgiveness for such a sin is to confess to the Islamic court and submit oneself for the Shari'ah punishment, which is death. The punishment is expiation for the sin. However, I do not know if there is any nation today which has such courts or applies such punishments. Aside from confession, the Islamic state could choose to prosecute someone for adultery. However, this requires four witnesses to the actual act of penetration; because of this, it's almost impossible in reality to convict someone in this way. Perhaps the law is intended to apply to those who commit such acts in public, with utter depravity.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
A.W.B
Also, the husband can bring the charge against the wife.
My understanding is that the 4 witness rule originated from when one of Muhammad's wives accidentally stayed behind on route to another town. A man came along and escorted her to the town. Rumors flowed that the wife and the man had improper relations. In order to address the rumor, Muhammad had a revelation that in order to accuse a person, there must be 4 witnesses. There were no witnesses in this case. This incident, in my understanding, was the first rift that led to the Sunni Shi'a split as noted in "After the Prophet."
Thank you for the answer . xxx
AsalamaAlikum ! I wanted to ask that one of my friend told me that she was 6 , her one more cousin was 5 and there was a male cousin who was 9 0r 10 , that male cousin made them play and did bad things to them , few of her cousins also played bad things at ttheir childhood but when they become matured they are realised that what they have done ? after getting matured she is regretful and said me that whatever happened she really didnt know and does she marry with a guy and tell him abt her childhood things ?
Assalaamualaikam
If you search the archives, there have been several questions about this topic. Sadly, young children can find that older children take advantage of them in such ways.
It sounds like your friend is aware that what happened was wrong, and I am concerned that she might have been forced into doing things she didn't want to do - it might help for her to speak with a counsellor about this to get specialist advice.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
okay , but tell me one thing she told to hr parents abt this , she is regretful she is about to get married she is anxious that she wants to tell her would b husband abt what has happened to childhood actually she and her czns still meet and greet to eachother now tell me that Allah has forgiven her ? should she tell this all to husband
I have been commiting adultery all my life...
[Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. There is guidance on how to do so on the site. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.]
...
[Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah. If possible, please provide a few more (non-graphic) details so that people can understand the context of your question.
If you are concerned that someone has committed or is committing a crime, then it would be better to approach the authorities and ask them to investigate.]
As salaam wa alaikum!
I really need some advice as the question i need help with is too long but more a story i need to find a resolution for, I have bee commiting sin its basically adultery, now i know i should not post my sin but i need some guidance, I was a single girl who never went with or was led astray, until almost five years ago i met a man who instantly connected with, i fell in love with him and commited sin time and time over again but he eventually told me he was married, knowing that really got me depressed and he continued telling me he loved me and we continued our evil deeds, i basically lost all that is precious of an untouched woman, only but a year ago i discovered that he was married and he had four children with his wife who at the time was living with his parents only a few weeks ago she and the kids moved back with him, i obviously continued my relationship with him and he then told me he began having bad dreams of mine and his skin bein peeled off and people laughing at us this completely made him fear Allah swt! and he started to distance from me, as i have only ever loved this man i have not had such vivid dreams as i do not practise as a muslim should and i inshallah will begin my prayer he has started repenting but im becoming depressed having bad thoughts ddoing things that are not on my nture to do i feel as thougj im all alone and have no one to help me! I need support in what to do and how i can stop myself from loving him and moving on but how? I feel his in a good position and has left me alone in the dark and i dont no where to go from here?
please someone shed some light
Jazakallah
Walkoum wa salam sister !
First off we praise Allah azwajal and send peace and blessing upon the prophet muhammad s.a.w
Advice which helped me from jaihliyah to islam . Base your self around friends who are practicing Muslims . As The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “A man is upon the religion of his friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” [Jami at-Tirmidhi] . Very importing to have sisterhood . For the sahtan attacks the person that is alone and try your best to fear Allah I know it's hard but he suhbanwatalla is the one who is there for us when the creation is against us and he is sufficient for us for he is creator of the heavens and the earth so why would we not fear him . Allah is in control of everything . Allah is the sustainer for the Muslims and disbelievers . I know this topic is off what problem you are facing but this is your solution for if you set your foundation right and have a true understanding of who your lord is wallahi facing trails and tribulations are nothing for you know your lord is there waiting for you to call upon him and ask him for his help . Why turn to the creation when you can turn to the creator Allah azwajal . Stay firm sister ask Allah always in your dua for you to be guided to the straight path ask him to stay firm in islam and ask him for forgiveness . May Allah azwajal keep you steadfast in islam and steadfast in defeating your disers . And remember Allah azwajal is the all forgiving . Asalam walkoum
Jazakallah! It has been a very long time since i seen your response and Alhadulillah day by day i am focusing my thoughts elsewhere and have started keeping myself surrounded by good friends and wish to move forward and ask for forgiveness,
Thank you for your response
if u after regret again do same sin then Allah will forgive
I have a question about my friend he told me that one night he woke up and went to his sister's room And he saw her sleeping he just climbed her back but didn't remove clothes and she was sleeping peacefully. After five minutes he just felt it was bad thing he didn't continue he made repentance what can we say about him and he is very worried about that he is ashamed of himself
Ismail, your friend should make tawbah and not repeat that act again. He should stay away from his sister's room altogether in the future. Also, there's no need to tell the sister about what happened.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
matric tak topper tai.
meeka, As-salamu alaykum. I deleted the rest of your comment. Please register and submit your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn Insha'Allah. Also, please write your question in English if you can.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
you have to feed 60 people that are fasting in 2 monthe or you free 60 slaves
*error, muslims are not supposed to do these things
im sure its not even about islam, its about common sense of morality, you are not supposed to cheat and life a moral life
Assalamun alaikum, I am Yahya bin Salihu and I man with much jealousy mind over my wife she's a newly converted into islam and feels that she meets with some people formally as friends before she got married and the things with her as in commit zina as she don't easily get satisfied when we met ..coitus...so this make me feel that she goes out for more . Even at times she do janabal bath without me meeting her what does this supposed to mean bathing janaba on my return from work. Please I am sick and tired give me something or tell me a way out before it gets me mad. And bad news I love her as if I am charmed . She has no respect for me at all. Maasalam
Leave her if she is indulged in Zina outside .
GOSH!! Ya rabbi, ya Allah forgive us all!!! I would suggest you sit down with her and talk to her face to face about what you think and feel is going on. Since you have not seen her do what your thinking.. its wrong to Judge!! Sit with your wife and tell her what you feel and the changes you want in your home and relationship.. if nothing changes pray Salatu ISTIKHAR ask Allahs guidence in this matter and trust that he will show you what to do and guide you thru Inshallah!!
Be strong my brother nothing is bigger than Allah seek his help and Allah is always there for us All. Inshallah kher
Asalaam waleikum. I am so happy to find this blog cos I believe it will help me in my matter.
I am fourth of four wives. I converted to islam some years ago when my husband married me. The marriage did not start well because my husband did not spend equal time with me as with his other wives. I felt so alone and cheated. He says we are still married but has not come to my bed in 1 and a half years. What am I supposed to do? Recently a former boyfriend re-emerged in my life. After much persuasion from him, and with my physicsl weakness, I gave in and we started an adulterous relationship. He shows me more kindness than my own husband. I have also been doing counselling and duah for Allah to restore my marriage at home and our local mosque. My husband seems oblivious of my needs, though, lately, he seems to be changing again and showing interest in me. We still have not been intimate with my husband for 18 months now. What do I do? I am so confused and yet I feel so ashamed of the adultery, and really want to save my marriage. My husband also refuses to read me talaq when I asked him some months back.
Khadijah, you sound like a deeply confused person. You are also committing a grave sin, one that could cast you into Hell. You are betraying your husband and your faith. If you want any hope at all of redemption, or goodness, then the first thing you must do is end the adulterous affair. Period. It is a major betrayal and a crime. After that, make up your mind if you want to remain with your husband or not. If so, then try couples counseling or some other step to repair your relationship, though it's beyond me how you can accept to be a fourth wife and think you will not be lonely. If you cannot repair your relationship, then demand talaq from your husband, or seek khulah.
IF you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post, thank you. No follow ups will be offered on this post.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
salaam, i am very ashamed to say i have committed adultery while i was married. i left home and moved with another man. my husband has found someone else in that time. i have now realized what i did and left this man and gone back to live with my parents and my 2 kidz. i have left everything now and my husband refused to take me back. i am repenting and asking Allah to forgive me for my major sin that i committed and to return my husband back to me. please help me.....
Farzana, Why you left your husband n went with other man ? Now why you are leaving other man too ? Either way you have commited grave sin .repent sincerly .
You will be forgiven, always. Just never turn away from allah
God says in Quran: "Despair not the mercy of Allah. He forgives all sins. He is the Forgiving, the Merciful." Quran (chapter (Surah 39; verse 53)
If the sin is repeated due to uncontrollable urge and one feels fearful of God, is ashamed and feels guilty, God forgives. Even if the sin is committed again and again despite wish not to do it, God forgives who repents sincerely nd keeps praying to God to help so that the sin is not committed. One who repents in shame and recites 'astaghfaar' often in his her heart, God forgives.
Shame, sense of guilt and resolution not to commit sin - but failure in sticking to resolution - God forgives for the simple reason that man woman is not capable of controlling his her urge without the Will of God. God says in Quran: " If My Bounty and Mercy is not with you, nobody can ever remain clean pure (of sin). Lo! Allah is Hearer, Knower." (Chapter (Surah) Noor (24; verse 21)
God catches him her who feels proud of committing sin and neither repents nor feels any remorse.
Man woman must keep his her sin secret and implore God to keep it secret and forgive. Nevertheless one must try hard to leave sin and hate doing it. God says: "Why don't they repent before Allah and and seek forgiveness (astaghfaar); Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (Chapter 5; verse 74) Turn to Allah at once with fear and sadness and take bath and offer prayer and seek His Forgiveness. He relents.
However men and Law do not forgive.
There is quite a comforting verse of Quran on the issue: " Peace be on you, your Lord has prescribed for Himself Mercy that whoso has done an evil act in ignorance then he repents and improves (towards piety) God will be Forgiving and Merciful to him." (Chapter 6; verse 54)
The spirit is: weep before God in loneliness on your sins. Tears are proof of your sincerity. God forgives before the tears get dried.
Salaam alaikum
I have wronged another person by assaulting them. I can't speak to this person to ask for forgiveness as I don't know who they are or where. I feel extremely terrible about what I did.
How do I go about seeking forgiveness for this sin.
Mohammed, pray to Allah for forgiveness, and do as many good deeds as you can toward people to make up for it. Allah is the Most Merciful and Most Forgiving.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
What do you mean by assault? Do you mean like sexual assault? Was it a female? Do they know you hurt them (were they awake when it happened/aware of the situation?)
Assalam mu'alaikum to all sisters and brothers.I'm 19 years old. I was a pious girl, always pray five times per day till the day a boy came into my life, I have approached adultery four times, but I did not perpetrate. I want to get Allah's forgiveness. Please someone help me. I'm fighting depression for three months because of that sin. I'm unable to live peacefully. I'm not like before anymore I miss a lot of prayers. I don't wake up anymore for fajr. I feel that I'm cursed. Please someone help me. I regret it. My relationship with Allah is not the same anymore. I feel it. From that day when I committed that sin I feel that Allah is angry with me. I've lost a lot of things in my life. Please tell me how to please Allah again, I want him back in my life. It's impossible to live without him. I curse the day when I disobeyed Allah. I really feel guilty. I will never do that again. Please someone help. I need your advise.I know it's a serious sin.
Aliah, the first thing you have to do is cut off your relationship with that boy. If you have already done that, then simply make your tawbah and try to get back to your religious practice. You are not cursed and Allah is not angry with you. Allah loves to forgive His believing servants. Just beware of committing such sins in the future Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Yeah, I have already cut off my relationship with him. Ameen, I really hope so. I want to start a new life afresh and accomplish my religious obligations. I know very well it's the accursed satan who made me do this. He made me go astray, I hate him. I have already made sermon that I will never do that again. Thank you for your advice Wael.
Aliah
If you really feel you are wrong and would never repeat it again ..ask for Allahs forgiveness and touba ..past is past promise yourself you will never repeat again ..may Allah guide you .
(PS :. I am not a scholar ..IAM a believer ..who has alot of faith in Allah ..he is Al Rehman he will forgive ❤️) it's all niyat which matters ...❤️