Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Did Istikhara for marriage and dreamt of black sky?

Black Sky and Water

Assalam'Alaikum,

I have got a proposal from a guy who works in bank and apparently both families have finalized everything just waiting for my response. I am in a kinda catch 22 situation and not able to decide. The more I research on net and with people who have knowledge, more confusion is surfacing up. There are many who strictly says banking jobs are   'haram' and then some are neutral. They justify it with the stance that value of money depreciates with time and hence interest rate compensate that and the money you keep in bank is used for business and you are just getting profit through that fixed percentage of interest rate. And of course Allah knows the best.

To get an answer, I did Istikhara and in dream I got a vague indication (black sky) which is negative suggesting I should drop this proposal. However, I feel can this negative result be due to a pre-set negative feeling I subconsciously had or is it a real indication? Should I leave things to take their own course? But here my parents are asking me for a  Yes/No reply. Should I tell them to decide on their own? Or Should I clearly tell them NO?

Please guide me what should I do and what should be my decision.

Waiting for a prompt reply that could help me sort out this issue in best of Islamic spirits.


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16 Responses »

  1. Salaam,

    Some people go ahead with Istikhara others don't. Those who do often have many more questions to answer than they did before the Istikkhara.

    I am about to marry soon, I will not do Istikhara for a few reasons. I believe that my parents and the girl's parents are telling the truth all the time about us to each other. I believe Istikhara may put doubts in my head as you have doubts in yoru head about something which right now I have no doubts or complaints about.

    My advice to you, judge on what you know of him, what you've heard of him and perhaps what you've seen of him if you have. Istikhara can work, but often you end up with many more questions than you should. A black sky dream? Could be a whole host of things, often the dreams reflect your throughts, it seems as if you perhaps didn't need an Istikhara you have major doubts about him already, the banking is an issue for you.

    • Mohammed,

      When we do Istikhara, we are affirming that we believe that Allah knows better than we do, we can never be 100% sure about anything, only Allah knows what is best. What appears to be good for us may be bad and what appears to be bad for us may be good. In the time of the Prophet (saw), people would do istikhara over which shoes to buy and rightly so and marriage is a life changing decision. I would always encourage everyone to perform this prayer because it is a sunnah of our Prophet(saw).

      I agree, sometimes people do istikhara and also become more confused. But this is not due to any flaw in Istikhara Salah, instead it is due to our lack of understanding in how to perform it correctly and due to our own lack of eemaan, we fail to see Allah's signs.

      Istikhara is a blessing - it takes the burden away from us, as when we know we have consulted Allah we can also have the assurance that He(swt) will do what is best for us.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Brother Mohammed, I am surprised at you. I would not have expected this comment from you. How can it be a mistake to ask Allah to guide us? The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, "It is from the good fortune of man that he makes Istikharah (seeks good) from Allah, and it is from his misfortune that he discards Istikharah."

      In the istikhara prayer we simply ask Allah that if this thing is good for me then make it easy for me and bless it, and if it's not then keep it away from me. Those are not the exact words, but that's the essence of the prayer. There's nothing confusing in it at all.

      If people have confusion about Istikhara it's just because there is a lot of superstition and ignorance around it. But the prayer itself is good, simple and full of blessings.

      To the questioner, don't worry about trying to interpret your dream. Istikhara is not based on dreams. Since you have asked Allah to guide you to the best course of action, now do what is in your heart and trust that Allah is guiding you properly.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Salaam,

        Wael and SisterZ, you seem to have misunderstood what I wrote, often people misunderstand what I say like the time when I said beating a kid is ok and everyone thought I meant beating them like you would beat a prisoner.

        I am saying that here is a case of a woman not needing to do Istikhra because she has many doubts already. If you have doubts about a marriage you don't go for it no matter what.

        • Brother Mohammed,

          You said 'I believe that my parents, the girl & her parent's are telling the truth all the time to us about each other. I believe istikhara may put doubts in my head...

          You are not making sense bro. If you are ready to make a choice, that is a vital time to consult Allah. You are going ahead and asking Allah to make it easy for you if it is truly good for you and to remove it from you if it is not good for you.

          Its simple, every time you have a choice or decision to make seek guidance from Allah. by doing this you are admitting your lack of knowledge and putting your trust in Allah.

          SisterZ

          • Salaam,

            I don't have a need for Istikhara, I am completely happy with my family#s choice, in fact I feel they would make a better decision than me. I know there are cases we should ask for guidance and help, but I do that in my dua's after Salah and deep down I know myself what is right and wrong.

            Anyways this is getting away from the topic at hand, it's very selfish of me to raise this issue when someone else has a problem needing help with.

  2. Mohammed,

    From your previous posts, you appear to be a fairly knowledgable person, so I am really surprised that you do not understand the importance of Istikhara. Of course we ask Allah(swt) for guidance all the time in our daily Salaah and in our hearts but the actual perfomance of 'Istikhara Salaah' is a Sunnah of Rasool (saw). We all know deep down what is right and wrong, but doing istikhara is not about establishing right from wrong. Istikhara should only be done when both options are halaal anyway. Furthermore, maybe your family can make a better choice than you, but no-one can make a better choice than Allah(swt). Doing istikhara really admits just that.

    May Allah increase our understanding of His pure deen, aameen,

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Bismihi Ta ala

    As salaam mu alaikum WA rahmatulla

    Dear Sister

    According to ibn Seerin (A dream interpreter) Dark clouds in the sky could mean a person straying from Allah’s path dreaming of the sky could also represent money, religion, death and it can also mean making peace with ones enemy and it could also mean people’s sustenance etc...........................

    You mention the person that you thinking of marring works in a bank and interest transactions take place in the bank so as Muslims we are not allowed to take or give interest

    Nabi S.A.W CURSED THE GIVER AND RECEIVER OF INTEREST AND IN OTHER NARATIONS THE ONE THAT WITNESS THE TRANSACTION TO

    So as far as interest is concerned it is not permissible for a Muslim
    It is also mentioned that before the coming of the last day interest will be advertised in many different ways
    like profit etc.................

    Allah states dealing in interest is waging war with me (Allah)
    Would any of us then say interest is allowed in Islam who of us would like to stand in the boxing ring and have Allah as our opponent?

    So dear sister note that interest is not allowed in Islam

    With regard to getting married to the guy that sent the proposal if you like him and happy to marry him and if your families agree then explain to them that you are happy to get married to him but you are not happy that he is working in a bank and then he should try and find another job as soon as possible he should not just quit his job without finding a suitable job but finding a new one should be top priority

    May Allah grant you a good Partner one that will follow deen and the Sunnah of our beloved Nabi S.A.W

    Ws salaam mu alaikum

    Brother in Islam

    • salam brother.

      I read ur comments and it seems that u know alittle more details about the dream, can u plz help me interpret this dream?

      I have relationship with some guys online and its very islamic and we started the relationship to know each other for marrage. we live in 2 different countries but we belong to the same mother land.

      i did many times istikhara to keep the relation or not, but my istikhara is very confusing. I dream black and white stuff. i dream more of tasbeh, mosque, and the lill carpet that we pray salat on it.i dont know what u calle it. evry time when i see the dream i wake up right away after it.

      one of my dream last night was like, i was wearing a wedding white dress but its not the party just me, then i get to go on a flight when I go on the plane i sit there and fixing my dress sleeves. then one of my relatives tell me y are u in hurry ur flight is in 2 weekd dont hurry.

      then i wake up and prayed tahajud.

  4. hey guys can u tell me where can i post my questions about istikhara?

    • Gemini, you can log in and write your question as a post. It will be published in turn InshaAllah. Make sure you first read our articles about Istikhara, and also search the database for questions similar to yours that may have been answered already.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. heloo everyone

    i'm already engaged and i'm about to marry . i have performed the salaat istikhara . i don't know what conclusion to derive from it. firstly i have seen darkness in my room and then lightness. i need helpppp
    please help me out !!!

  6. What happens when wife wants sex and husband never does and also is impotent.
    With the dar of Allah she does not go else where
    In this condition I do not believe a part of the nikah is being fullfilled therefore is void
    He is not fulfilling his duty as a husband.
    Wiuld it still be a sin for the wife do go somewhere else!
    He also has alot of debt do to gambling addiction
    Please advise!

    • Sairah, there is no such thing as the nikah being void. The only way to end a marriage is through talaq or khulah. And yes it would still be adultery and a huge sin if the wife "went somewhere else."

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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