What should I read to convince my mother?
Dua for Istikhaarah
AOA,
I am very much tensed...im madly in love with a man and he loves me too and his family also loves me but my parents dont agree just because of status...
he has his own home and works in same organization...his mother talked to my mother but my mother insulted his mother and said theres a difference of status...
plzz help me and tell me what should i read so that my mother calls his mother herself...my name is [removed by editor] and my mother name is [removed by editor] and guy name is [removed by editor] and his mother name is [removed by editor]...also do the istikhara...
i really cant live without him and he also cant live without me...his family really loves me a lot...plz plz help me...i want to get marry in simple nikaah at home and within 15 days.
Xara Fark.
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Hello Sister,
By giving out your names and surnames, you have virtually exposed your identity to all readers here.
Please try and edit your names out.
Also, from what i gather about your understanding of Istikhara ( because you are giving names of the concerned parties and their mothers) you are from the subcontinent, and our understanding sadly of Istakhara is incorrect.
Istikhara is not done that way. You are unknowingly referring to black magic, which is haram in Islam.
A simple google search can suffice, as i have done for you, below:
http://www.hadithoftheday.com/inspiration/islamic-information/how-to-perform-salat-l-istikhara/
Please follow the link and you will see the proper Dua and the way for Istakhara ( as per my limited knowledge, Allah knows best)
Hope that helps sis.
Salam Alaikum.
AsSalaamu Alaikum,
First of all, there are some basic issues you must understand.
-1- In Islam there is no such thing which you read for your Mother to call someone for marriage. What you need to do is to pray Istikharah and then seek Allah’s guidance. If the person is meant for you, Allah will make it happen.
-2- Taking people’s name and their mother’s name for any reading or whatever, is a sign of Sihr (magic) which has been prohibited in Islam. So don’t do it again.
-3- You said, you can’t live without him and he also can’t live without you. This indicates that both of you have been corresponding with each other privately, which is haram in Islam. So you must stop meeting the man and turn to Allah in repentance.
-4- If you want Allah to bless your future marriage and family, then you must stop engaging in any haram relationships now, before it becomes too late.
-5- You mentioned that the man is working and he has his own home. But you never mentioned that he is religious and that he prays five times daily. In Islam you choose the person who is devoted in the Deen. What is the religious status of this man you want to marry?
-6-You seem to lack proper knowledge of Islam and therefore, I’d suggest that you spend some time with yourself repenting to Allah, and learning much about Islam and much about relationships before/after marriage in Islam.
Hope this helps InshaAllah
Assalaamualaikam
Sister, in the interests of privacy, I've edited your post to remove the names. I hope you appreciate the need for discretion when it comes to posting personal information on the internet.
Istikhara isn't a spell that can make someone do something you want, and any such rituals would be considered haraam in Islam. If you haven't already done so, I would suggest reading the information on this website relating to Istikhara, which may help you understand its meaning and role. Essentially, when a person prays Istikhara, they are placing their full trust in Allah that if something is good for them, they will be brought to it, and if something would be harmful for them, they are kept from it. It is not a "make this happen because I want it" prayer.
As brother Issah has pointed out, it sounds as though you and this man have developed feelings for each other through repeated contact. Please remember that private correspondence between men and women is not accepted behaviour in Islam, due to the inherent dangers for both parties. It is acceptable to get to know someone if you are considering marriage, but an intimate relationship of any sort (emotional or physical) goes far beyond this. If the two of you are serious about wanting to have a halal relationship, it would be important for you both to repent, and to ensure that your interactions are within Islamic limits from now on.
If this man is of good character and practising, then he or his parents should approach your family with a formal proposal. If your parents then feel that the proposal isn't acceptable, then you could ask them why, as sometimes our parents can see things that we ourselves miss. For example, is he pious, is he honest, is he kind and respectful? These are far more important that whether someone owns their own house - we can trust in Allah to provide the means for us to build a life. As your wali, your father (or nearest male relative) needs to be willing to accept the proposal in order for a valid nikah - or, if he is refusing on grounds which you feel to be unIslamic (eg. racial prejudice, caste issues - by the way, caste and racial discrimination have no place in Islam), then you could ask an imam at your local mosque to discuss the proposal with him as a mediator.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Hello Sister
Wake up early morning before 1 hour from Fajr salah call and pray tahajjut salah yourself,
After that make dua and ask Allah to solve your issue soon, Insha Allah your dua will be accepted that time,
Don't forget to read darud e sherif (Allahumma Salliala Sayedina Muhammadin vala-ali sayedina muhammadin Vabarik Vasallim Alaihi)
Read this before and after your dua for several times.
Mohammed Yousuf A
Sister,
Why do you need to marry within the next 15 days? You can't put a time frame on things of this nature, especially since your own mother has made it clear that she feels herself superior to this mans mother. God willing things will work out for the best.
Salam
Fifteen days are over, did you get married. What is the age difference between you two? Your mother should not have insulted man's mother.
Hi
Am syeda here am 28yrs old the problem am facing is that what ever proposal am getting my mother is rejecting i dono why,she says that she wont do my marriage till 2yrs but i cant wait all my frds got married,am too aged,please suggest me so that my mother can change her mind.
syeda, you are an adult at a marriageable age, in your prime. Marriage is your right and duty in Islam. Your mother has no right to forbid you from getting married. Do you have any male relative who can act as your wali? I suggest that you go ahead and get married without your mother's approval if you can.
In Islam we are taught to obey our parents, but as I said marriage is a right for every individual. To deny it without a reason is oppression, and you are not obligated to obey. Your mother herself got married, and you have the same right.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor