I want to marry my cousin when i am older?
Salaam,
I am a teenage Muslim girl, who wants to be a doctor when she is older. The other day, my mother was discussing marriage with me and my younger sister and how we want to be married...my sister said she wants to fall in love and marry of her choice and i said i would go with anyone my mother chooses. The thing is i want to marry my cousin who is a year older than me when i am older...my mum and his mum are very close and my mum has a lot of sisters too...she said to me she will get me married when i am in my 3/4 year of medical...
I am really desperate for his attention, but i do not want to commit a sin...i am going to my country in december, so i will see him there for a while...how do i act? should i act neutral? also, i have been feeling like this for a while and i am mature enough to make wise decisions...i am not saying i would like to be married at this age, but when i am 22/23 like my mother wants, but when should i tell her of my serious feelings for him?
I don't really talk to him, but i talk to his sisters...i am really close with them...
When should i tell my mother of my serious feelings for him? i am living abroad and he lives in our country...
I am halfway through my teenage years like 16/17 and i need advice. Should i tell her when i am 20? older? wait until his family comes to us? though i worry that is not likely, even though i am the only cousin around his age that is female...i also fear he might like my sister instead of me too, as to me it seems like my mum convinces my sister to search for someone in her family but not me...this displeases me...as i am older and i do like someone in her family.
In addition, how can i make his family/him notice me? should i work to get his family's attention or his attention? i want myself to be an option for him...i do not want to do anything against ALLAH though as i am a practical Muslim...please do help, this has been bothering for a while...i am open to every piece of advice you can give me...
-S
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You wont be innocent if you dont amend and beaway from him
As-salamu Alaykum Dear Sister,
Speaking as the mother of a daughter your age, I would say not to worry about this right now. When you go to university, Insha'Allah, you will have new experiences and may change your point of view. You will meet different people and may start looking at the future in a different light. In the meantime, your cousin will also be growing up, and you will have the chance to see what type of man he grows into. You will know better if you are truly compatible as far as jobs, goals, personalities, culture, and deen later on. Over the years, I have seen my children's cousins grow up. They were all great kids when they were little, but now some smoke or do not work. Some dropped out of high school and give their parents problems in other ways. One is flunking out of college. Another turned out to be religious, which was a surprise to me. The point is that things become more clear when you are in your 20s, and I would never want to commit my daughter to one of her cousins before I had the chance to observe how both my daughter and her potential spouse behaved as adults. And to answer your question, NO, you should not behave any differently in the presence of your cousin or his family. Also, although you did not state which countries you are from, you should also be careful of jumping into a marriage in which it is expected that you will sponsor your husband's immigration to a Western country. And whatever your profession, you should also consider the profession of your future husband and whether it is compatible with yours. All heavy topics, which is why you should wait a bit before making major decisions that you can't easily take back. Once you open that door, certain expectations may be placed on you that make it difficult for you to complete your studies or do other things. This is just my perspective as a mom, but one I hold because I believe it is in the best interests of my daughter right now to focus on school and work on building herself as far as personality, deen, and other things that will benefit her in the future as a wife, mother, and Muslim professional.
asalamu laikum,
wait till the time comes, you may change your mind. also find someone with good character and deen, which will be far better for you than one sided blind love.
ma salama..
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الحمد لله رب عالمين
؟؟Did Bilqis take the counsel of her men...warlike and fierce. ..Surrendering in Islam with Solomon (Peace)..after greatly wronging her soul.
و الحمد لله رب عالمين