Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can’t get married without Wali (father) whom I never known/met.

father and baby

Asalam o alaikum,

I am 21 years old, Indian nationality, my father divorced my mother & left me saying he didn't wanted a girl child so I never saw my father since birth, my mother got married for the 2nd time after 8 years with another man with whom she has 1 son but life has been unfortunate again & even the second husband left my mother, after 10 years she came to Dubai to marry a Pakistani national again for the 3rd time, & now I'm about to get married with whom i had long distance relation since 3 years all my family members have accepted my wish of getting married to the man i love but since even I'm in Dubai now & working here on company's visa i have decided to get married to the man i want to.

But, now as per sharia court in Dubai they are asking for my wali without which they have told me they can't allow me marry in their court, i really dont understand from where & how can i get my real father as we have never been in contact since the time he left me & I don't have any good relations with my mother's present husband, only one question i have will my marriage be invalid ? as i have heard of [people saying so. please guide me of what should i do as i have faced a lot & lost almost everything after my father leaving..

would be awaiting of someone who could really help me & advise me for the same.

Jazak Allah,


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9 Responses »

  1. Thats not true as many people whos fathers have passed away or got divorced always get the person who is now acting as father or someone close to do that, My cousin whos dad was there wanted her uncle to do it and he did so youve got to look into it..
    Goodluck hun


    The woman’s guardian is her father; then her paternal grandfathers, no matter how far the line of ascent reaches; then her son and his sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches (this applies if she has a son); then her (full) brother through her father and mother; then her (half) brother through her father only; then their sons, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then her paternal uncles; then their children, no matter how far the line of descent reaches; then the father’s paternal uncles; then the ruler. (al-Mughni 9/355).

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    As far as I understand it, if a woman does not have a male relative to act as wali, she can get married with an imam acting as her wali. This would require you having no suitable male relatives, though.

    I would recommend discussing the situation with a respected person from your local masjid or from the court, to see what they suggest. If you have a male relative who could act as your wali, they may be able to give consent to the court without necessarily having to come to the country in person (I'm not sure of marriage law in Dubai, but it might be worth discussing) or they may need to either come themselves or have a representative there. If you do not have a suitable wali, then the masjid or court should be able to find someone to act in that capacity (as has already been described, if there is no male relative then the role falls to the ruler).

    It can be more complicated for women to get married who do not have a male relative who can act as their wali, but it is possible - many female reverts have this difficulty. So the courts should have provision in place for such situations.

    May Allah help you overcome your difficulties and have a happy marriage.

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. salaam,

    just because you have a wali esp if it is a extended family member i dont see how they would be able to look out for you better than yourself..but may ALLAH swt give me more understanding..

    i would just go to an imam at another mosque and ask for a seem mature and able to look after yourself..but i really dont see how a man that had no interest in your life will be able to help shield a man from taking advantage..
    but it is what it is..i think our lord would understand.

    • Sister, you're fairly assertive and outspoken, but some women are very shy and inexperienced, and may be unwilling or unable to speak up on her own behalf.

      Wael Editor

      • people can only be their best advocates..a man that didnt want to be in your life for their own reasons..and/or a man that doesnt know her personally probably wont either...

  5. W.Salam!
    As i think this not necessary that father must be wali brother of mother also can be your wali as i know. if u have any other relatives near you they can also be. I think you ask from Masjid mulana he can guide you.
    best wishes

  6. Salaams,

    Even though there are all kinds of caveats for this type of situation according to Islamic Shariah, as has been shown here, the final arbiter of your case is going to be the Dubai court system. Like midnight moon said, you need to check with them to find out how they have worked around these types of situations in the past.

    If they are, as you say, unwilling to let you get married regardless of your unique circumstances, and refuse to offer you any alternatives or workarounds, then it seems to me the only other options remaining are either to:

    1. Get a legal marriage someplace other than Dubai;


    2. Get an Islamic nikkah in accordance to shariah, have the imam be you wali, and just NOT register it with the government.

    -Amy Editor

  7. salaaam
    Sister, your story is such a sad one, i really felt it. I wish you so much luck, by the grace of allah. I hope your marriage becomes a successful one and things become perfect for you.

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