I married a married man. Is my muslim marriage valid?
And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession. (Maududi, The Meaning of the Qur’an, vol. 1, p. 305)
I just recently got married with a muslim man who has a first wife. We got married before he was able to tell his first wife of the said event. His wife got upset and told him to just separate from him because she does not want to share her husband with anybody. Is our marriage valid even if his first wife does not agree? He came from another country and is a foreigner here in my country. Will this also be valid in his country or do we still need to get married in his country?
-Aaliyah
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Salaams,
If your nikkah with this man had all the components outlined according to shariah, then you are validly married to him regardless of what his first wife wants to do. It would have been good adab to have told her of his intentions before he married you, but she would've had the right to divorce whether he had or not. If, now that she has found out he married you, she wants to divorce him because she does not want to live in polygamy, she may. You will still be his wife regardless.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
MashaALLAH, very good advice from amy... May Allah reward the sister for admitting and given this unbiased advice.
As-Salaamu alaykum. I am often left speechless at the questions that are asked "after" the fact or, should I say, "after" the act?
A man is allowed to get married with out letting his other wife know AS LONG as he TREATS them all EQUALLY
Asalaam alaikum,
Many scholars differ on this part. Some say that is permissible to not say, others say that it must be said in accordance to justice and other say that it is permissible to be silent, but it is highly disliked or makrooh.
However, if we refer to the ayat when it says that a man should treat his wife or wives with justice, then these women may definitely say that a part of that justice would be informing them of the additional marriage and new wife. Another dynamic is that he is taking another sexual partner, so the previous wives would be entitled to know if the new wife may have a STD, thus again referring to justice in the marriage.
Furthermore, it has been stated by the scholars that a woman can make conditions of her nikkah that stipulate whether she can informed of the first wife and particularly that if he were to marry and it causes her such distress as to not want to be with him, then she has the right of divorce free from his resistance.
In this hypothetical case where the second wife knows about the first wife, but not vice versa, a person could say that this is not fair, so that automatically to keep justice between the wives, the first would be entitled to know of the new marriages.
This is reasonable when pure intentions of the man are forthcoming and he is not trying to usurp the rights of the women.
As-Salaamu alaykum.
Excellent points!
Jazakallah khair.
you should of thought about how the first wife feels before you married him!
Exactly.
Hnmmmm sorry to say this I would be piss of if my husband went and got a other wife without letting me know!!! I would leave him because I don't see myself sharing my husband with someone else,,