What will be my surname after I convert and get married to a Muslim man?
Hi,
I am a Hindu but I will convert to Islam soon because I will be getting married to a Muslim. We are now searching for an Islamic name for me. Right now we have chosen AARA but I want to know what will my surname be after marriage?? My fiancé's name is AARASH KHAN so will my name be AARA AARASH KHAN or will it be AARA KHAN after marriage, please advise because I don't want to keep my father's name with me after converting due to some personal issues.
Thanks,
Priyam.
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Salaams,
As I understand, the reason why most Muslim women keep their original names traditionally is out of respect to the father. The only support I could find for this custom are the following two hadith, which honestly I don't know how strong their authenticity is:
Allaah says: “Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5].
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has cursed the one who claims to belong to someone other than his father.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad and others).
Despite this, there are a number of western Muslim women who do take the name of their spouses. I think in your case, as a new convert, it would be best to choose an Islamic name (first and last) that is meaningful for you, and keep that separately from your husband's. (Example: Faridah Abdul-Wasi).
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam, Priyam
Congratulations for coming into the fold of Islam. My understanding over the years (cannot quote references) reading various texts has been that in pre-Islamic times, women were considered property of the male family members - the same reason why honor killing victims are mostly women - so when a woman was "traded" to another man, her name was changed to know who she "belonged". This sort of does with the 2nd hadith that Sr. Amy has quoted above. Even if the hadith is not strong, logically it makes sense, that she is being "shifted" from father to husband.
The father is a woman's permanent anchor, who she really belongs to, and a marriage is a contract b/w her and her husband which can be broken any minute with a divorce. Look around and see how much a woman has to go thru to try to change her name back to her maiden name after a divorce - I had to, and vowed never to change my last name if I ever re-married.
Try to make peace with your father, as that is part of being a muslim. Allah does not look favorably on those who break blood relations. Maybe with time and patience and good faith, things will improve b/w you and your dad, and as long as his name does not have a bad meaning Islamically, I think you should make your decision wisely.
As far as I know changing the bride's name upon marriage has never been an Arab custom, even in pre-Islamic times. It came from the Christian world. In Islam, a woman does not "belong" to anyone except Allah. However, she does have a permanent tie to her parents, just as all Muslims do, male or female. Islam values the family ties very highly.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I never said/implied in any way at all that it was an "Arab" custom. It was a pagan/pre-Islamic (whetehr Jewish/Christian/other religions) custom still practised culturally in many parts of the world including my country Pakistan
The prophet SAW said only change teh name if it has BAD meaning.
does your first name have bad meaning? if yes you should change it if no then keep your name.
Your last name will stay teh same. it is not allowed for woman to take husbands name. You keep your fathers name thats your heritage and your identity you do not give up your identity for a man. if he asks this of you then you should not marry him. islam gave women rights and it is backward men that try take them away.
I am married and i have my fathers name Alhamdulillah. my husband knows the deen and never asked me to change and wouldnt allow me to change as my last name is my identity.
Keep you fathers name istser its the islamic thing to do.
Only western people take hsubands name, becuase in history women were thought to be like animals, cattle to be bought abd sold and belong to the new owner. Therefore changing your last name is like you are an animal beign bought and sold. Plus christians used to think a woman had no soul, and even think women were devils. They even blamed adam eating the apple on eve. Authobillahi....
in islam Allah elevates our statues as women. Do not allow men to take that away.