Her parents refused my proposal, how can I convince them?
What can I say?
Salam u alikum
I’m a man in a committed relationship for a long time now and have approached my parents in this regard. initially I was stressed about their reaction but surprisingly they were very supportive and our mothers met once.
Well now her parents have not replied to us. My parents have helped me more then I thought but now I have learnt that her parents are not interested and are in contact with a match maker to look for her somebody else.
We both are fully compatible. We have asked some of her relatives to help us in this matter but it provided no results. The whole proposal was arranged in a manner to appear as an arranged marriage. I work at a decent job earning way above my expectations.
If her parents find out that she is in a relationship they will fasten up her proposal hunt and eventually have her married to someone else, now the only option that remains is that she talks to her parents but we don’t know how. She is the only child and the parents are obviously very protective & they are very well off.
Kindly advise as to how should we proceed. Her father is not that easy to talk to & they do consider castes unfortunately, and sadly we are not the same castes. Many question answer on the caste issue but I couldn’t find anywhere it explains how she should talk to her parents.
- Ali87
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Maybe the father of your friend doesn't like the fact that you dated her, because in our religion dating is haram, since it starts or takes people to haram actions like zina or seeing her naked or showing her your body oral sex etc. this is disrespect to a women, and parents don't like that, although the kids think it is love. i think because of this reason her father can be not interested in talking to you.
before you do anything do istikhara and pray for yourself, there is a prayer for people do recite for a good spouse. i will give it to you if you are interested.
also tell her mom and dad or some how convey the message to them to do istikhara...
the other reason could be that, maybe her father did do istikhara and you where not the one he was told about. please don't fall into conclusions only ALLAH knows best. I can just give suggestions. JazakALLAH
Anna.
Salam Brother,
You say you were in a committed relationship with this girl for a long time. I don't need to tell you that premarital relationships in Islam are forbidden as I am sure you know this and if you don't...you do now. Please pray to Allah for his forgiveness for your transgressions and seek his guidance via prayer.
Can you go to your local masjid and ask the leaders for their help and guidance in this matter? Maybe someone in a position of authority who is well respected within your community might intervene on your behalf? Don't give up just yet. Remember... nothing can or will happen except by Allah's will.
Salam
Salam,
Dear brother,
I do understand your problem and I faced similar situation. I myself do not know how should we deal with it. However, I have decided to meet her father directly and try to convince him with all that I have while maintaining my integrity.
I don't think that loving each other includes touching, oral sex blah blah as a sister commented above. It is someone's sick mindedness if he/she assumes others to do this stuff without actually knowing them. Love is a purity which can never be haram, only certain acts are haram. People should be of help to others not to make others feel guilty of things they never did.
If you didn't do any of this blah blah, you must be upright and confident. I think you should face her father yourself and try to remove his doubts.
If, however, he does not accept you. Take it as Allah's will. Do sabr and tell the girl to do the same also. If at some point in life any of you gets to meet someone whom your parents also approve , go ahead for marriage and forget the past.
This is the only solution I see. Because loosing each other once is bad, but loosing each other slowly everyday is worse.
I hope i was of some help bro.
M. Asim Ansari
Right now i am facing the same situation,but insha Allah Allah will help me. dear brothers and sisters please pray for me