Should I Marry Her As She Had Slept With a Non Muslim?
Hadith about Zina
Asalaamualaikum,
I am confused and need help.
Actually i was seeing a divorced girl from last 11 months and before one month i decided to marry (Nikkah) her. I was happy till i knew that she hide a sin having a physical relation with a hindu man after her divorce. She did not told me about this relation by herself till last month and when i asked she denied at the start but then she admitted and reason she told me that "she was going through a bad time because of her divorce''.
Further she told me that hindu man and his two other female hindu friends convinced her for friendship and then that friendship turned into physical relation.
Anyway, my question is, should i marry that girl? Is it fine having Nikkah with a woman who was sleeping with a hindu? And it will be appreciated if you can help me more on this issue?
Wasalaamalaykum
~ khan75
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Salaams,
There are no technical issues about who to marry because they may have fornicated with this person or that. Fornication or fornication.
The root issue here is whether you are confident the sister has truly repented of her sin and trust that she will be a faithful and honest wife to you. If you believe she has made her amends to Allah and is on guidance and doing her best to be a good Muslimah, then there is no problem in marrying her. If you do marry her for this reason, please take care to NEVER bring up this against her when you are upset. The past is the past. Finished.
If you feel, after knowing what you know now (and perhaps factoring in some other things you sense about her that you may not have mentioned), you feel that you cannot trust her or have a peaceful marriage without constantly suspecting her of dishonoring you then you shouldn't marry her.
If you are not sure how you feel about her: for instance, you think at some times that she is trustworthy and will make a good wife, but at others you are feeling reserved and are not sure if she is the person you think, then definitely you need to make istikhara. Insha'Allah then your confusions will be sorted out and you can move in the direction Allah is revealing to you.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam'alaykum,
"The fornicator does not marry except a [female] fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers" (24:3)
"Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable." (24:26)
These two verses gives a general view of who can marry who. So keeping these two verses in mind, you decide where you stand. I'm assuming you are pure because you have problems with a girl who is impure. This doesn't mean you can't marry her, you indeed can marry her if and only if she has sincerely repented and is now a good muslimah. If she didn't repent then she is forbidden for the men of pure according to Allah's law.
Salam brother Ali, I like your response, but just wanted to ask you about the ayat you mentioned - pure women for pure men - I always didn't understand that ayat, because I know women, good women who have been married to bad, impure men, so if you can explain it, it will help me understand better.
Salam brother Khan, if you do choose to marry this woman, you need to decide whether you can accept this massive error she committed on her part, and be strong enough to trust her, and to not taunt her with this every time you have an argument or something.
Think long and hard, and whatever you decide, may it be the best decision for you and for her inshAllah.
Wa'alaykumsalam,
This verse clearly explains a fundamental principle. Impure men are a fit match for impure women and vice versa whereas pious women are a fit match for pious men and vice versa.
It never happens that a person is good in all other aspects but is addicted to a sole evil practice. As a matter of fact, his/her very habits, manners and demeanor, all contain a number of evil traits, which sustain and nourish that single evil practice. It is impossible that a person develops an evil practice all of a sudden without having any trace of its existence in his/her demeanor and way of life. This is a psychological truth which everybody experiences in the daily lives of the people. How is it then possible that a man who has all along lived a pure and morally clean life, will put up and continue to live for years in love with a wife who is adulterous? Can a woman be imagined who is an adulteress, but she does not manifest her evil character through her talk, gait, manners and deportment? Is it possible for a virtuous man of high character to live happily with a woman of this type? I dont think so. Therefore, what is being discussed here is that purity and impurity plays an improtant role in marriage. Good will happen to the pure and bad to the impure is another perspective and a normal norm.
brother khan,
if you think she has been honest with you in the last 11 months i.e other than this sin she commited in the past and you have inclined towards marriage because you saw her as a good muslim, and a good wife to be than dont this past sin interfere in your current decision making. she has probabaly thought that she can fully tryst you and did not want to hide anything from you. give her credit for that. do istihara inshallah , you will come to the right decision.
for all those who in thier honesty tell about their sins,which theyhave repented for , there is nothing you gaian out of this. you are only burdening the other person. keep covered what Allah has kept covered.