Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Masturbation is my only option

I'm a 15 year old boy. I dont know why it is that people claim masturbation to be sickening your health, I personally from my own experience have never felt any kind of sickness after doing it. Nor did I regret doing it once it was done. Some times I fealt sad and angry at myself, but that was purely because, I at that time believed it to bee 100% forbidden by all schoolars, something that I now realise is far from the truth.

So psychologically and physically I do not believe that masturbation is harmful to your body. In fact, it removed the sexual stress and thoughts that I kept in my mind all day long when not masturbating!

Allah created us, our bodies, and our needs and desires.

When a person reaches puberty it is a need for your body to replace the semen at some point or another, the semen cannot just stay in there from the day you reach puberty, to the day you get married. And as far as I know, the bodies respond to the need is to warm our body, and not least make us think of the opposite sex all the time, and this sexual thinking and warming body does not stop, it is strengthen as time goes on. At some point or another one cannot take it any longer, and has to fulfil his sexual desires and what are the alternatives?

I'm a young man and quite frankly, I have a very hard time with my body due to the schoolars who claim that masturbation is forbidden by Islamic laws. I live in the west, where the public is filled with woman, and some ARE attractive!

Now what I HATE so much is the "solutions" given by the Islamic schoolars, “solutions" that are supossed to take you away from masturbation, yet none of them can and do.

The first “solution" is to fast. I personally cannot fast, and I have my reasons for that; If I stop eating my mom will notice it and she will for sure ask me for for why it is that I'm not eating, and a sexual conversation is not something that I would like to bring up and talk about with my parents. Nor would I want to fast everyday til I get married for that is simply impossible not to mention that I do not want to become thin and skinny.

The second “solution" is to lower your gaze. Well this is not something that you can do anywhere, anytime! When I talk to some one I look at them while talking, I do not look down! Now I DO look away when I'm in public, but that is not possible anytime anywhere.

Also I do not see how this could even be thought of as a “solution". Looking at woman does not strenghten your sexual desire or make your mind think of woman even more and deeper. Naked woman in front of you or not, your mind will still be thinking of woman when it is need for it. So lowering your gaze does not actully help icon sad %photo

And then there's always the marriage solution, but due to many reasons I personally cannot marry as a 15 year old boy icon neutral %photo

Other solutions include visiting the mosque, playing sport reading the Quran and such, but none of these actully help you when your not doing it, none of them are activities that you can do during the whole day, none of them are solutions that take your mind away from its natural thoughts when not having masturbated. I do these activities as often as I can, but they do not take my thoughts away from sex!

I'm not trying to say that masturbation is greate, but it is the only alternative for the youth my friend! I have not masturbated for 10 days now, but I know and realise that I cannot continue much further.

What advice do you have for me and others ? A 15 year old who have never ever had any “wet dreams" or anything like it. For the last week and days I have bin thinking of woman 24/7 (I'm serius), yet managed to not masturbate afraid of it being sinful. Now I'm reading every side of the story while attempting to create my conclusion for wether masturbation is forbidden or not, and I my friend need your respond as much as I need my conclusion.

Please help me for I have bin trying to reach my conclusion for so many days, and my body is just slowly weaken as time goes on.

I'm not really afraid of fornication for I do not believe it to be near my enviroment, though I can honestly say that if I somehow got in the sittuation of possible fornication then I would probably push every thing to the side and fulfill my desires.

I'm really desperate on a respond so please help me. If you believe masturbation to be forbidden then please explain to me for why it is that you believe masturbation to be "seeking beyond" (Quranic verse), also if you are againt masturbation; so is the semen of a young man supposed to stay inside of his body from the first day of production to the first sex experience with his wife? do you not agree that this is illogical? So the sperm that comes out of the man of his wedding day is supposed to be 10-20 year old sperm cells? If you are against masturbation the please give me some advices for how to cure it! Some REAL ones! And if you believe masturbation is halal then please explain to me how come.

- Desperate 15 year old boy


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101 Responses »

  1. Salam aleikum,
    the only I can advice you is to pray the God to help you and try to fast often because fasting decreases our sexual needs.
    I understand you, today it isnÂ.´t easy to get married soon and there is a lot of fitna in western society.
    But, as I know, masturbation is makruh or at least less haram then zina. I donÂ.´t advice you to do it but if you are afraid you could commit zina it is definitely better to masturbate instead of comitting zina.

  2. Nothing wrong with it. You can masturbate without even touching your organ. Just think of sex and you will achieve an orgasm and ejaculation. It happened to me. If you are a youth and can't get married, what is the OPTION?

  3. Come on, Rami, what kind of advice is that? That's not a solution to his problem. E's advice was better. Pray, fast, try to direct your thoughts to something productive. Get involved in a sport to keep yourself busy and tire your body in a good way.

  4. Ok so I typed out a long reply and this site deleted it b/c I didn't put in my email before!

    Anyways.. here's my reply again:

    To Wael: I don't mean to offend you, but I'll assume that you've never been involved with formal sports, because to say that sports will take your mind off of sex just makes no sense. It's more likely that sports will increase your desires because you'll be around peer pressure that will talk about sex all day long, and pushing/tiring your body will only make you more aware of its needs and further increase your desires. An athlete is much more likely to have stronger sexual desires than lets say a computer programmer, my opinion.

    I personally don't think masturbation is HARMFUL to your body, and I also believe it's unrealistic to never masturbate. However, as a 15 year old kid you should be aware of the following: Masturbating WILL be harmful to your psych. Why? Because when you masturbate, you have improper, unrealistic thoughts of women. You might start to watch porn, actually, in the age we live in right now, you WILL start to watch porn. You'll begin to view women as sexual objects and your view of everyday women will change. You'll tend to become less social, shy, timid around women. And if you find satisfaction in masturbating, then you'll most likely become less productive throughout the day and you may be less inclined to get married. Keep in mind that unsatisfied sexual desire is one of the many good reasons to get married :).

    I'm 25yrs old so I can relate to you. I'm not condoning masturbation, but I'm being realistic. You seem like a good kid trying to do the right thing. I would suggest that at your age, you start learning about your sexual desires properly, because it won't get any easier as you get older.. until you get married of course, but even then you'll still require discipline. So keep in mind that whatever you do now, will be something that you continue to do in the future. My final thoughts for you are: masturbation in and of itself might not be harmful, but the factors that I mentioned above that lead to masturbating will be harmful to your mind. So if you decide to do it, keep in mind that it's just a quick fix and like anything else it'll require discipline to keep from getting out of hand. Make sure you think with the right head (your brain!) :)

    Hope that helps.

  5. Boy u funny and u seem sexual active but u already answered ur question masturbate there is nothing wrong and its far better then zinaa.so they say u must fast wow imagine to fast 365 days a year wow u wil become so thin like a stick and u wil get sick. im not a man but i knw men need sex and some need sex just as much as they need food. so masturbate dnt feel ashamed Allah knws u mastubating 2 protect urself from zinaa so y worry abt ppl telin u not to masturbate. ya and u ryt ther dnt need 2b a naked lady 4u 2 masturbate most of d time u just get aroused and need a release.

    • salaam evry1 , dear its no harm in masturbating lyk nadheera adviced. Its better to masturbate than becoming a zaani so masturbate bt, try to control as much as u can, if u feel u cant control than..DO IT !..bt try not to do.bcoz if Allah has prohibited it he is almighty he knws better y as he has created us..evry human sins bt try to prevent it.. Hope u like my advice..n try to lower ur gaze..desperate kid!!!

  6. @ Nadheerah...

    SalaamAlekum,

    I don't think even if someone takes vigorating medicine will have desire to have sex 365 days a year. It means you don't have to fast 365 days. I believe, offering our regular prayers 5 times a day, and doing some zikr in between salah time is very helpful. Fasting Monday and Thursday is from sunnah and most importantly, keeping our Gaze lower is the best solution and dear Nadheerah, one more thing, I am not sure if Masturbating is haraam or not but lets for sometime take it as makrooh, you are provoking someone to do a makrooh amal. I don't think, every time a person has sexual desire would go and do Zina, infact if someone is in such a dire situation where he is afraid to commit Zina, and to avoid it one may masturbate just to kill the desire to satisfy one's need in a haram way.

    allah and his prophet knows best.

    • Its only just "and Allah knows best" not the prophet SAW also

      • Sorry u r wrong . The quran says in surah nisa 4:80. "He who obeys the messenger. obeys Allah."

        The prophet is Allahs apostle and he was divinely guided by Allah. We must believe in the quran and sunnah. Dont think im doing shirk. Allah has no partner widout doubt.. Allah alone is the master of everything and has no associate. But Allah gave knowledge to the prophet and commanded us to follow his teachings. Therefore dont degrade the prophet. He is Allahs messenger.

    • look i was just exagerating ofcourse one does not get aroused everyday sometimes one is sad or angry or something else....fast 365 days i meant continues fasting didnt actually mean 365 days practically and do you know when a man desires to have sex i mean like really it could lead him to commit zina? i mean he is 100 percent aroused plus there is shaytaan thats why most men fear Allah and gets married just to protect their imaan.

  7. get married if you can

  8. i try not to do it , and have stretched myself as long as 42 days by not doing it. but there comes a time when i'm helpless and cannot concentrate whole day for study. it is not that i get driven by the thinking of women, most of the time there is nothing like that. but i feel extreme stress inside myself and doing the sinful deed let me get back to the track. i don't like doing it but i have to.

  9. salaam alaykum

    Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:
    First from the Qur’aan:
    Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):
    "And those who guard their chastity. Except from their wives or those that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7 Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor."

    Masturbating is haram for a muslim it is not ryt in anyy angle
    to get your self away from this treacherous behavior keep wudhu 24/7 this clears your mind nd it will protecting u from any1 or anything.

    if u do get a sexuall thought just start praying u have too fight the shaytaan

    all i am saying is dat masturbation is wrong try to masturbate nd if u du get a sexual thought giv it ur all to fight it

    hope i have helped :) and may allah show u the right path :)

    • That is one opinion. To me it makes no sense to apply that ayah to masturbation, as it clearly is a prohibition against committing zinaa. It's a real stretch to apply it to a person touching his/her own body.

      Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal regarded semen as an excretion of the body like other excrete and permitted its expulsion as blood letting is permitted. Ibn Hazm holds the same view. However, the Hanbali jurists permit masturbation only under two conditions: first, the fear of committing fornication or adultery, and second, not having the means to marry.

      Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi comments in The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam:

      We are inclined to accept the opinion of Imam Ahmad in a situation in which there is sexual excitation and danger of committing the haram. For example, a young man has gone abroad to study or work, thereby encountering many temptations which he fears he will be unable to resist, may resort to this method of relieving sexual tension provided he does not do it excessively or make it into a habit.

      Of course the best thing is to marry if one is able.

      And Allah knows best.

      • yes wael to me aswell i dont see what that has got to do with masturbation.i mean its your body and your alone nobody is seeing you your satisfying yourself there is still haya ok before anybody argues i said nobody is Allah a body? so dont argue i know Allah sees everything.

  10. Masturbation is only haram if you're married. Try to do the least of it as possible though. allah knows best

    • Is that your own belief or was it a fatwa issued to you?

    • Let's use common sense here. Many are citing Sura 23:5-7 regarding guarding your chastity. Look up the definition of chastity.....abstinence from sexual intercourse. Masturbation is not sexual intercourse. What about married couples who are separated from each other for long periods of time (military deployment, work, etc?) Sexual desires will manifest. This is not to say that adultery is imminent, what is one to do in that situation?

  11. Salam,

    From what I've read in books such as "Al Halal w al Haram fil Islam" of the great scholar Yusuf Al Qaradawi, it is only permissible if you have no possibility whatsoever to get married and you are afraid of committing zinaa.

    In your case obviously marriage is not an option, but that doesn't necessarily mean that if you don't masturbate, you will be OBLIGATED to commit zinaa. I mean, you're very young, I don't think you have access to a lot of zinaa anyway (at least I hope not).

    What I mean is, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are reaaaaally afraid of having illegitimate sex with someone, like if you're in a room alone with a woman and she's trying to entice you or you feel you're so attracted to her that you're losing all sense of what is wrong or right, THEN you can run away, say, into the bathroom and masturbate so that you get rid of all the sexual energy, to protect yourself from zinaa.

    Get it ? You can't just say "I can't get married and I have to get rid of all this semen, so I HAVE to masturbate" . In my opinion, that's not a good enough excuse. The semen, as I'm sure you know, is naturally evacuated during your sleep, that's why men tend to have lots of erotic dreams.

    My opinion is that, when you don't know if something is sinful or permissible, in order to protect yourself from haram and be sure not to do anything wrong, don't do it. I know it's easier said that done, and I also know that I'm talking to "teenage hormones from hell" (to quote a line I heard on TV and that I found very funny), but try to control yourself.

    I know a person that used to masturbate a lot . But as years went by; he realised that the more he masturbated the less self-control he had over his "shahwa's" (desires) and that, in time, he was less and less reluctant to do other things that were far worse than masturbating, he had come to a point where he basically did whatever he felt like whenever he felt like it, and he didn't care at all wether it was permissible by Islam or not, he had litteraly become a slave to his own desires. Al hamdoulillah, he repented a few years ago and is now "free", in peace with himself and inshaAllah, a good muslim.

    May Allah guide you, brother.

    Your sister in Islam.

  12. As Salaamu Alaykum,

    You're 15. Obviously too young to marry, but I'm happy to see you trying to do the right thing. You do sound as if you're making excuses for yourself, but that comes with desperation. My advice to you would to find a good hobby and find enjoyment in that. Fast sometimes, read Qur'an, run, play a game, ANYTHING to keep your mind off women.

    As for the lowering your gaze, do it. If you cannot look at a woman when speaking to her without getting excited, look down and apologize and walk away.

    Masturbation is a form of release, but given your circumstances, you should most definitely use your other options. If a woman can keep her virginity for 20+ years, a man should very well be able to do the same. We're not THAT different.

    It's hard, but you have to have will power. If you don't try hard enough, you are quitting. Try harder! It won't kill you to not masturbate, but at least wear out your other options (sport, reading, fasting, praying) BEFORE doing it. If you feel you would commit zina, WALK AWAY. If you must release, then do so, but only as a last resort!

    Try to stay strong and control yourself. Keep yourself from being along with a woman and try your best to be a good Muslim.

    As always, pray. Ask Allah (swt) to assist you.

  13. are u all out of your minds? MASTURBATION IS GOOD!

    Benefits

    It is held in many mental health circles that masturbation can relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-esteem.[37] Masturbation can also be particularly useful in relationships where one partner wants more sex than the other – in which case masturbation provides a balancing effect and thus a more harmonious relationship.[38]

    Mutual masturbation, the act by which two or more partners stimulate themselves in the presence of each other, allows a couple to reveal the "map to [their] pleasure centers". By watching a partner masturbate, one finds out the methods they use to please him- or herself, allowing each partner to learn exactly how the other enjoys being touched. Intercourse, by itself, is often inconvenient or impractical at times to provide sufficient sexual release for many people. Mutual masturbation allows couples to enjoy each other and obtain sexual release as often as they need but without the inconveniences and risks associated with sex.[38]

    In 2003, an Australian research team led by Graham Giles of The Cancer Council Australia[39] found that males masturbating frequently had a lower probability to develop prostate cancer. Men who averaged five or more ejaculations weekly in their 20s had significantly lower risk. However they could not show a direct causation. The study also indicated that increased ejaculation through masturbation rather than intercourse would be more helpful as intercourse is associated with diseases (STDs) that may increase the risk of cancer instead. However, this benefit may be age related. A 2008 study concluded that frequent ejaculation between the ages of 20 and 40, may be correlated with higher risk of developing prostate cancer. On the other hand, frequent ejaculation in one's 50s was found to be correlated with a lower such risk in this same study.[40]

    A study published in 1997 found an inverse association between death from coronary heart disease and frequency of orgasm even given the risk that myocardial ischaemia and myocardial infarction can be triggered by sexual activity.

    The association between frequency of orgasm and all cause mortality was also examined using the midpoint of each response category recorded as number of orgasms per year. The age adjusted odds ratio for an increase of 100 orgasms per year was 0.64 (0.44 to 0.95).

    That is, a difference in mortality appeared between any two subjects when one subject ejaculated at around two times per week more than the other. Assuming a broad range average of between 3 to 5 ejaculations per week for healthy males, this would mean 5 to 7 ejaculations per week. This is consistent with a 2003 Australia article on the benefits against prostate cancer. The strength of these correlations increased with increasing frequency of ejaculation.[41]

    A 2008 study at Tabriz Medical University found ejaculation reduces swollen nasal blood vessels, freeing the airway for normal breathing. The mechanism is through stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system and is long lasting. The study author suggests "It can be done [from] time-to-time to alleviate the congestion and the patient can adjust the number of intercourses or masturbations depending on the severity of the symptoms."[42]

    Masturbation is also seen as a sexual technique that protects individuals from the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Support for such a view, and for making it part of the American sex education curriculum, led to the dismissal of US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders during the Clinton administration. E.U. Nations include masturbation in their sex education and promote the practice. (see above)

    Sexual climax, from masturbation or otherwise, leaves one in a relaxed and contented state. This is frequently followed closely by drowsiness and sleep – particularly when one masturbates in bed.

    Some professionals consider masturbation to function as a cardiovascular workout.[43] Though research is still as yet scant, those suffering from cardiovascular disorders (particularly those recovering from myocardial infarction, or heart attacks) should resume physical activity (including sexual intercourse and masturbation) gradually and with the frequency and rigor which their physical status will allow. This limitation can serve as encouragement to follow through with physical therapy sessions to help improve endurance.

    Encouraged masturbation

    In the UK in 2009, a leaflet has been issued by the NHS in Sheffield carrying the slogan, "an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away". It also says: "Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes' physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?" This leaflet has been circulated to parents, teachers and youth workers and is meant to update sex education by telling older school students about the benefits of enjoyable sex. Its authors have said that for too long, experts have concentrated on the need for "safe sex" and committed relationships while ignoring the principal reason that many people have sex. The leaflet is entitled Pleasure. Instead of promoting teenage sex, it could encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they are certain they will enjoy the experience, said one of its authors.[74][75]

    The Spanish region of Extremadura launched a programme in 2009 to encourage in young people, aged between 14 and 17, "sexual self-exploration and the discovery of self-pleasure". The €14,000 campaign includes leaflets, flyers, a "fanzine", and workshops for the young in which they receive instruction on masturbation techniques along with advice on contraception and self-respect. The initiative, whose slogan is, "Pleasure is in your own hands" has angered local right-wing politicians and challenged traditional Roman Catholic views. Officials from the neighbouring region of Andalucia have expressed an interest in copying the programme.[76]

    The text book Palliative care nursing: quality care to the end of life states, "Terminally ill people are likely no different from the general population regarding their masturbation habits. Palliative care practitioners should routinely ask their patients if anything interferes in their ability to masturbate and then work with the patient to correct the problem if it is identified

    • This viewpoint is utterly reprehensible. Why do people become so besotted with sex and sexual urges. A healthy sex life is improtant between two married people, where feelings are initiated by love and respect for the person, not carnal lust.

      In my opinion, masturbation and the excess of it will lead to perversion as the individual will venture further into illicit practices as they cannot ever satisfy their unhelathy lust. Also what do they think about whilst doing this act? These thoughts are surely under the haraam act of zinaa?

      It is unnatural to pleasure oneself. Sexual pleasure should only be derived from one's spouse. We are not base animals, although most people seem to behave like that nowadays.

      The original poser of this question is simply going through hormonal changes. In time things will settle and he ought to focus on his deen and worldly affairs that will see him making a success of his life. He should not be encouraged to perpetuate this act.

  14. Mashallah very good reply, Hopeful !!! God bless you.

    Wafa.

  15. it is haram,it will cause many diseases

  16. To the author of this post (Desperate 15 year old boy), I'm not sure if you will see this message as your original post was over a year ago. I won't comment on whether or not masturbation is haram, you can read the other posts to answer that. However I will tell you that excessive masturbation has certain ill effects on the body, including possible reduction in penis size. Many men fear engaging in this act particularly for this reason. I've heard of cases where men who used to masturbate excessively would have trouble engaging in sexual activity after getting married...because they have damaged themselves prior to getting married.

    There are other ill effects reported to be caused by excessive masturbation, including lower immune system, back pain, blurry vision, and I've even heard of ill effects on hearing.

    If you are intending to get married later on in your life, then be careful about your actions now, even if masturbation were to be considered halal.

  17. assalamu alaikum,

    noyhing 2 say it is just haram and dont do it,iam also 15 but wen i knew that it is haram i just took a strong decision wont do it again.take a strong decision and fear ALLAH

    surely u will b all right..................

  18. Assalamu Aleikum Brother,

    I don't agree with everything that has been said up to now. Islam differs from many other religions and

    ideologies when it comes to the sexual urge. Although there are so many ways of having a halal

    relationship, Muslim parents often consider sex to be a taboo issue nobody is allowed to address. I have a

    Muslim family myself; until they collect the mahr, or the boy has an own income, until the un-Islamic, but

    traditional dowry for the girl has been prepared, it can take years; the boy and the girl are both in their

    twenties and very often, the boy had girlfriends; in many Muslim families, the boys had pre-marital sex,

    whereas the girls have to be the epitome of morality. It is good to have morals, but it must apply to both

    sexes. Not having a hymen is not an excuse. Sex shouldn't be a taboo. It is narrated that Aisha

    mentioned: May God bless the women of the Ansar . They were not shameful when they asked questions

    about the religion. Our holy prophet addressed the issue of domestic violence, as well as sex in his life.

    So make your parents understand that it is their responsibility to take you seriously.

    You may be too young to build a family, to have children or earn a living. But you are old enough to love a

    woman, to treat her with respect and dignity, to enjoy your youth and to be there for her concerns. And most

    important of all: To have a halal relationship. I have already tried to defend the Mut'ah on this site, but I

    respect the fact that you are my Sunni brothers and sisters, so I try not to say anything in favour of it. Although

    it is like a normal marriage contract and the father of the girl can even restrict the physical contact, but never

    mind. You still have the option to get to know girls in your community; i'm sure there are many pious and

    beautiful girls in your community, you can choose one for marriage. Leave these cultural things aside like

    collecting dowry, high amounts of mahr, lavish wedding parties. Choose her for faith and beauty, believe me,

    this is going to be better on a long-term. The prophet (s.a.v.a.s.) used to say: An -nikah-sunnati. He didn't

    say high amounts of mahr, expensive parties and waiting until you're 30 years old is my Sunnah. he

    didn't say you have to go straight away to the registry office( under 18 it's not even possible in this country,

    in an Islamic country, you could do that). The main purpose of marriage is satisfying your urges and sharing

    a loving relationship. In many cases, fasting helps, but you seem to have a very powerful sex drive, so

    I think suppressing it would only cause you further harm. Get married, brother. You are a young boy, you

    will love her a different way, she will be the first woman you ever kissed, ever touched, ever hugged,ever

    loved. Why do you think our brother Yususf Islam(former Cat Stevens) sings: The first cut is the deepest?

    Because no love in this world is like the first love. It can never be the same. Don't fall into haram. The

    reason why I'm so emotional about this issue is because there is a double standard in many Islamic

    communities. Don't wait any longer, now is the right time. If you can't get a civil marriage, get a valid Nikkah.

    That's sufficient and keeps you from haram. Insha allah you'll find the woman of your life.

    Additionally, increase your Imaan, read religious books and prepare yourself for marriage.

    Stop masturbating. I don't care if this is harmful from a medical perspective, it is not lawful. There is a reason

    why it's not lawful. Because Rassool Allah(s.v.a.s) recommended early marriages.

    May God bless you and keep you from haram

    • I wish there were more women like you .

    • mashallah
      the best comment made
      i would also like to add to that . i hate how these muslim communities think of the importance of getting their girls married early or soon after they start their periods but the boys should wait till they have their degrees and so forth how ludacrus by this point most have gotten to the point of complete disrespect for women but never the less the parents never talk to their kids about it never teach them about it its always a hush hush thing a really bad thing WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSE TO GET THEIR SUPPORT AND GUIDENCE FROM one other thing there are many forms of contrception out there for them to use once they get married (IF THEY MARRY AT A YOUNG AGE)use them till they have a better understanding of the roles and responsibilities of haveing children and till they are able to afford to have children and most importantly till their bodies have EMOTIONALLY MENTALY AND PHYSCIALLY DEVELOPED TO HAVE CHILDERN so it is safe perticulary for the women
      may allah give parents more knowledge and courage to guide their children better without the fear of this dunia but with the fear of ALLAH

      AMEEN

  19. Wow. Anyone who thinks masturbation is harram is ridiculous. There is nothing in the Quran or hadith that signifies its prohibition. Many people claim that the verse "And those who guard their chastity. Except from their wives or those that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7 Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor" proves its forbidden, but nowhere in that verse does it talk about masturbation. It talks about legal and illegal sexual intercourse, solely. We can't make up that its haram to masturbate. Making it hard on the youth that feel guilt whenever they masturbate, when the act itself is inevitable. So bump whatever these scholars have to say about it being haram. Are you kidding? Easy for them to say, as the majority of them are most likely married and get sex whenever their desire it. Many of us aren't married and are too young. The options: masturbate or fornicate. only one of those options is haram. So, masturbate. Nothing wrong with it

    • It is uknown try to keep away from porn and masturbation

    • To the editors - This comment by w/e, though its old but having just noticed that vulgur language is used in it, should be deleted.

      Salaam

    • the prophet first marriage was when he was around 22......

      In that time that is very late...people got women at young age already...

      The prophet never complained, how dare you say stuf like this ?

      Also you have no right at all to be judging a hadith, people study more then 20 years to just figure out hadiths unless you are a scholar, which by your reply I judge you aren't.

      You should let the actual work done by people who can actually do it.

      Don't Mislead people brother, there is a very heavy punishment on this.

      ps: We are encouraged to get married young, were are the ones making it hard on ourselves. So don't give others the blame, Blame yourself.

  20. This is what I wrote in another post regarding masturbation :

    This is a learned habit, I am going to write here what I did once to get rid of this disease, you are young so its time to act on this now, don't let it go on because this habbit will later creep into every aspect of your life.

    Porn works by giving the body a huge dopamine boost, the lure & attraction is immensely powerful. If you want to give this up you have to understand that there will be a period of atleast 3-4 weeks where you have to suffer withdrawal symptoms that will make you irritable and moody - enough to cause you to go back to porn. This is the thing to understand regarding porn addiction , people suffering from it never make it past the withdrawal phase, they said they tried but not hard enough.

    Do not try to suppress the urge - that's right, do NOT suppress it because it will explode sooner or later and you will be back to square one. The way to beat the urge is to make split second decision whenever you have a visual stimulant that attracts you to this habit - the decision is to simply dismiss the thought or entertain it. If you entertain the thought it will make you do crazy things like look at pictures online to satisfy your urge, pictures will lead to videos ...... game over ..... back to square one.

    How to dismiss the thought? Whenever you come across something : an image in newspaper, TV, etc you are allowed one look, no more if you look at it again it is because you are curious, this is enough to set off a tidal wave of lustful porn inducing thoughts - I can guarantee you a 2nd look will eventually lead you to failure, this is the secret of this problem : all or none, completely cold turkey. When you come across a lustful thought or visual stimulant your mind has a void, maybe you are depressed etc whatever, you MUST fill the void with something other than porn- maybe exercise? maybe a good motivating soundtrack ? prayer ?

    When you fill the void with something other than the mind is used to (porn) you are reprogramming your mind to find the satisfaction from something other than porn. Slowly the pictures, videos burn away in distant memory and you get stronger. Always remember don't let your guard down and never think you have won, nafs are incredibly strong thing to defeat. Get through week one, then two and so on, it will be hard but that's just the way it is. Defeating this habit will give you incredible sense of control and serve well to build character.

    Usual advice regarding giving up porn is prayer, keeping busy and list of activities to do. It won't work, learn to control your mind, everything begins in the mind then the body takes over. Fasting will not work - you have a void and urge to do it - satisfy this urge with something else preferably something that involves physical work ....hmmm.....weight lifting ...... can work wonders. Simply saying "don't do it" won't work either - if you don't fulfill that urge with something constructive it will come back with a vengeance.

    Muhammad (pbuh) said the hardest fight is against oneself - so please go ahead and start fighting.

  21. Yes don't go near haram stuff like porn etc when shaitan is playing with your mind. Be active and keep your self busy and hang around with good Muslims. When you do get caught in an ideal situation where you know this thing can happen just think about this: What if this is your last act on this world?!

    That's my best advice. And yes lower your gaze. Often you see stuff and it ticks in your sub-conscience.

    Pray for me if the comment is useful (even if its not lol)

  22. I have a problem here, I have not masturbated for 5 weeks and today i did it again
    i am very scared that due to doing this i will lose the girl i love the most and not get promoted to year 2 in my college. I really didnt want to do it but i couldnt control myself. Will Allah forgive me??? I really want to stop it. ANYONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT. Reply asap. *crying*

    • Ali, it has nothing to do with losing the girl you love, or doing well in college. It will not affect those things.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • So wat is ur conclusion? Is it halal or haram? I'm 14 a boy but don't live in the west yet I have almost all the problems u do nd I can't judge from these comments so pls tell wat is ur decision now ? Wat do u think? Is it halal or haram or is it makrooh? Or is it just a sin like abusing or something else? Pls help me I require ur help, I can't post a question on this blog caz I hardly get any time so pls help me

  23. ohhh. in my case i really want to stop but i do it again and i regret later... How do i control myself?? Will i be forgiven??

  24. I'm 14 nd a boy nd I haven't done this for a lot of days but today I started having thoughts like this again so pls help me nd about that verse which most ppl use, doesn't our right hand possess our left hand? Nd I also can't fast or go to mosques due to some problems so pls help me pls nd some say it's haram some it's halal nd some say it's makrooh so what is it actually? Pls help me

  25. My advice to the the 15 year old, go to the gym and work out, try your best to surround your self with people. Do your best to NOT stay alone. Stay away from chick flicks, get into a sports team. Fasting is recommended but it's not realistic to fast 365 days a year. Too young to get married is the bull our parents feed us because they are greedy and they don't follow the Islamic way; that's why their generation is being replaced by our generation slowly at Allah's will. I know I plan to get my son married when he's college or near that time if he desires, insh'Allah. It is up to your parents to get you married and if they don't then any haram acts you do with a girl, such as kissing, flirting, hugging, will not only be on you but on your parents as well because it's their fault.

    You can get married at 15 if you stand up to your parents and ask your parents to support you and the girl's parents to support her; that's the proper way. Try not to masturbate because it will effect you negatively on the long run; and I know how you feel, I was a horn dog at 15 and now I'm almost 30. I was very destructive with my self because I didn't sleep around with girl so, all that sexual urge built up.

    Medically the strongest drive in the human body is the sex drive and the destruction drive. If your not having sex then you will be destructive, and vice versa. I have alot of anger and I got into fights because I didn't sleep around that's why in Islam, it's recommended to get married early.

    You know it's hard for us Muslim young men to restrict ourselves. I am in my late 20s and my parents and a girls' parents are talking about our marriage. The girl and I like each other and we agree to get married. My mom and dad and her mom want to get us married ASAP; however, her father wants to delay because I'm not settled yet. I'm in medical school and he wants to wait till I finish my MD for us to get married. And I have another 2 years till I get my MD, insh'Allah. And delaying our marriage may break it. It's our parents generation who made us wait this long because of money to get us married.

    I can't advice if masturbation is haram or not because I'm not and Islamic scholar; and I don't want to give wrong advice. However, I'll tell you this, men and women are not created the same way. Allah created the two genders to be different. Men have the physical strength that women do not have, and women have the patience that men do not have. And it leads us further into holding our sexual urges. I read somewhere that women are many times hornier than men however they can control it, but men cannot.

  26. Pls help me I'm a boy nd 14 I started doing this and when I saw things like if it's halal or haram I decreased the number of times I did it, nd now I'm like I do it after 1 or 2 weeks or sometimes even after a few days. I just suddenly start having thoughts of it which I can't stop no maatter what I think of. Nd that Hadith which most people use, dont we also possess our body nd hands etc? So is it ok to do it with ur wife or urself alone(masturbating) caz we so possess our own body... Nd btw I can't go to mosque or do weight lifting caz of family problems nd I'm also not from the west, somehow I have been able to control myself when I see a girl but then at the night I suddenly feel like masturbating so pls help me nd tell me if it's halal, haram, makrooh or something like a normal sin like abusing is a sin but ts not called as haram so pls help me....

    • Relations between a husband and wife are different to self sexual activity, there should be no problem with a husband and wife being intimate so long as they avoid the haram acts of course.

      you're young if you kick in the habit now you will be extremely grateful when you're older and purer inshaallah :)

      when the advice to fast is given it doesn't mean you fast every single day nonstop just fast one or two days a week and you will notice a difference in iman and those whispers from shaytan will go, why not fast the sunah, mondays and thursdays or at least try one day a week and youll see! :)

      • I can't fast caz I'm skinny nd I must eat no matter what so wat will I tell my parents why I'm fasting?

        • dear my friend i suddenly saw ur writhing and i am teen like you and i avoided masturbation for almost 4week.i am not a pshycologist but i think can help you as a friend who is in a same situation than you and have some experience and knowledge. oh sorry me i must leave now but i keep on writing soon.

        • muslimboy . can i ask you are you sunnite or shiate to can help you better?

          • Well thnx for helping and I don't know much about beliefs of Sunnis or wahabis but I dO know that I follow the Islam which was told by prophet(pbuh) nd which the sahabis followed.... But to help u, according to wat I think I'm a Sunni.....

  27. in the name of god hello! dear muslim boy first i must say you i am not an english boy and i am asian and if i have some wronges in writting i am sorry to you.i am 16 and i have some problemes like your problem.i hope you blieve me as a friend. at first i should say you about masturbation briefy...it is as a haram act and a person who do it will have bad punishment from god....(and if you want i can say you the quran sentence about this sin) but know i have some suggests for you according to god and prophet and great sahabies speakings. i write them step by step....1. be worry about your sin but be hopeful to solve your problem.so....in quran there is an sentence which says ((ان ال حسنات یذهبن السیئات)) it means that good activities erase bad activities and good things annihilate bad things.according it.so... do some good and strong acts to remove your sin.i say you two very very good acts...first i dont know you pray(say prayer) or no.if you pray always is good and keep it on.prayer is an important element in our religion.one day our prophet saw an young person who was sinner and said his prayer will help him finally.second and a so much important thing in islam is having the best behavior with your parents.in quran the god had advised to have good behavior with mother and father.i promise you if you treat good with them the god will help you as a special friend! i am sure. i exmined it.believe me please!when you are facing your mother or father imagine you are facing agent of god.love them and obey them without say why or i am tired or...it is the order of god.(i can say you later the sentence of god in quran about it).if you do it the god will like you more than past and certainly will help you more and more.it was the first step. of course you must keep on your trying to avoid from masturbatio in this time too...and ask god to help you because god love more than each others. i must sleep now.here is midnight i will go on write for you the other steps.now bye

    • Thnx for helpIng me nd I do behave good with my parents nd I will try my best to say every prayer now nd pls tell me how u can say that masturbation is haram bcaz until I don't know it's punishment or result I won't be able to supress or end the desires for doing it.... Once again thnx

      • hello dear muslimboy!
        quran need to explain with creditable person and i say to you the god words with a creditable and good person who is one of famous imams in islam. . . . . ((فمن ابتغی وراء ذلک فاولءک هم العادون)) it is about sexual issue and says the males just can have sex with the females who are halal for them. bcaz it we can know masturbation is haram .bcaz in fact it is sex with yourself. now i say you the other step: 2.the last step was doing great good acts .now you must don't accomplish some bad thing. for example in islam lying is as a big sin nd some other thing. you can find some important bad thing that god dislike them and there are in your life and don't do them.

        • Thnx nd wat u told me, how u told me has cleared my mind nd now I know wat it is, nd btw I also don't lie and lie is the second thing which I hate the first one is shaitan ofcourse nd once again thnx for helping me when I had lost hope of getting the right answer.....

          • in the name of god
            dear friend muslimboy!i had decided to write for you about 5steps that i have observe in a doa(prayer or blessing) of my imam.but fortunately you're so much chaste nd good boy nd these steps effect on you before they'r end.but i write for you two the others and finish:4.you must realize your end and goal in life.you must think about your god,your prophet and your religion.you must study and think about your beliefes.and when you know them you must promise god to do what he say nd all his order nd ask him to help you.5:you must know the sins.i wanted to say you about the badthings of masturbation but i was afraid perhaps it causes you become hopeless.nd now i guess is a situation to say you.the imam sadegh who is the prophet's grandchild and one of great leaders after him named three group nd said that god doesn't speak with them nd doesn't look at them with a mercy look nd doesn't clear them nd there are painful punishments for them..i will go on this writting in another space

  28. ti think those punishments are more dreadful than the beat nd thrash.i think they are worse than speak angrily someone for a human... now i have to say you i am thanker from you.in fact you wasn't nd i didn't write these for you perhaps i masturbed until now bcaz i remembered these for myself among my writtinges.finally i have an advice to you.when you are alone know god is near you,he is seeing you nd love you.our leaders in religion have said in the event that a young is saying prayer god says his angels happily oh my angels look at him he is my good salve who is praying.the god said in a ghodsi hadis(a speak that is god's nd is out of quran)if my salves know what amount i love them they'll become happy to death.you nd me have a god who always is near us.we can ask him to help us everywere nd every time nd can do tawbah from our bad behavior nd be sure he will forgive us bcaz he loves us nd in a love it's necessary to forget badthing.i am sure he just is waiting to ask him nd speak him as a great friend nd he will speak us happily with a relaxful nd happiful voice.have a succesful life.i will pray for you nd pleas pray for me.your friend ali akbar
    if you want to write for me it's my mail:

    • Once again thank you, I can sense the calmness nd love u have written this for me with, nd this is something that I don't sense everyday. Thnx once again and I go to mosquefor Jummah prayer nd one day the imam was telling about a person who was very sinful nd very bad, he asked the prophet Muhammad(PBUH) if he becomes a Muslim, will he be forgiven? Nd he did a lot of questions regarding to this topic which I don't exactly remember but I do the remember that in the end re result was that he can be forgiven so I won't give up hope caz I know Allah loves a person a lot who returns to good from bad nd I will try my best to say my every prayer nd to keep asking for forgiveness nd once again thank you a lot for helping me. I had thought that no one would err be in a situation like me and would help me but that you helped me so thanks thanks thanks thanks nd heres an advice from me since u helped me a lot nd I know u also did this wat I was asking to be halal or haram, never give up hope nd always pray to Allah for forgiveness with full hope that your prayer will be accepted, as according to a saying of prophet Muhammad(PBUH) which sadly I can't write because I read it in an other language so I don't want to translate it as I may make mistakes but its meaning and message was that we should always pray with full hope of that prayer to be accepted as a prayer made with a heart having no hope has no value for Allah(meaning that it won't be accepted, I can't say for sure caz I dont remember it exactly but always pray with hope). Now once again I wanna thank you caz I cannot even imagine from how many sins you have just saved me so thank you, take care, I will keep checking this site in case you reLly with something but if you don't, it'll still be okay... Allah Hafiz. ;)

  29. in the name of god salam my brotter in islam! first can i ask you what`s your country?because culture can effect on our religion nd our beliefes?(of course if you want).now i have an problem nd perhaps you can help me.do think some films like harry potter or some such it wich arn`t as a religius films is harmful for us(as muslims teens)? ....once i want say you to be better with your mother nd mother nd mother nd father(if you want i`ll explain you the reason of repeat mother).maybe you think you are trying your best for your parent but no.it is a secret in our religion that all of our greats in islam have said it.i havn`t time now.but i say youwhatever you are respecting them god is opening mental and material treasures for you nd so.....bye the way if you want ican say you some phisical ways to control your sexual needs.

    • Bismillah-hir-Rahmanir-rahim,
      Salam brother and I won't hide it so I'm telling tougher I live in Pakistan nd about watching any film either religious or non-religious we should know that they contain(most of them) women n girls who are not fully covered(wearing clothes). A woman's satar I.e the parts of her body which she is ordered in Islam to keep covered are from her neck(start of shoulders) to her feet nd according to my knowledge the punishment for seeing someone's satar(the parts which have been ordered to keep covered in Islam) is very painful nd breath taking, If u say so I'll tell u wat the punishment is.(it is wat I have been told nd I don't think it's wrong) so I try not to watch them, but sadly my family background doesn't allow me to do this nd one more question that might rise in your mind would be"what if we accidentally see someone's satar or woman who is not fully covered(she also comes in the satar,hope u can understand me) then will I still be punished?" the answer to this question is that if u unintentionally see someone's satar nd then after a quick glance(look as accident) don't look there again,it is said that sin of urs will be forgiven but if u look once more then this time it will be intentionally nd it will be not forgiven. If you have any further questions regarding to way I have written please ask me because I may have not been very clear. And about that part where you repeated mother nd then only once said "father" I know why you said this, I have also read that hadees(prophet Muhammad(PBUH)'s saying) nd I know wat it means nd till now I have been successfully able to control my sexual urges and for that I thank you once more but who knows when I might not be able to keep them under control so I request you to please tell me any physical ways that you know for controlling sexual urges..... Allah hafiz, may you be forgiven.... Have a nice peaceful life.

      • salam my muslim friend first i should say you:((thank you for ur writings and hopfully speaks nd advices)) ....i'm sorry to u because i can't write for u about ur writing or control sexual needs wich i had promised u .nd also i can't write for u at least about three weeks.because i'm going to travel to mecca nd madinah(the holy cities in hijaz) after two days nd i should prepare to go there tomorow.of course i'll try to check this site tomorrow.but perhaps we will miss each other(of course i will check here to find u)nd now i want to say u one speak as finish.pleas research about your beliefes more nd more nd so.we have some elemans in our religion wich we arn't allow to follow the others for believe them .we must research for them.they are tawhid,nabowat nd ma'ad (nd imamat in shias beliefes)god will ask us do you research about these nd if we don't god don't accept our beliefes.i havn't any time have a buatiful and good life.ur friend ali akbar

  30. salam my travel become cancellation now nd will be about one or two weak later.nd i`ll say you some of the phisical nd mental ways to controling insha`allah.bye the way in this site is several comments against of fasting to control sexual needs.i say you the mental steps to give up masturbation but i also believe fasting as a phisical nd mental way too.i`m sure it can help u to keep on ur trying easier.maybe u know the fasting in some days is advised by prophet (PBUM&HF).forexampel in week mondays nd wednesdays is good.it`ll decrease ur energy nd improve ur volition nd also i advise u to awake some minutes earlier than morning azan nd speak with god a little nd ask him.....

    • Alhamdulillah, it's good that you two brothers are helping to each other. Take a look at these videos to help you understand how your brain works and how you can overcome these problems.

      If you have a relapse:

      http://www.safeshare.tv/w/TwbEVNbFBF
      http://www.safeshare.tv/w/ispHLmjAPW

      You do not have to pay for these worksheets and you should not pay for anything, because the free materials are enough to help you. Here are the free resources mentioned in the videos with daily planners, goal sheets and the question sheets.

      http://innergold.com/resources/

      These two: Name Your Emotions Sheet and the 10 Commandments of Relapse should help you guys, Insha'allah.

    • I always think of doing research about Islamic topics but sadly never end up doing it because of other things and btw about fasting, I cannot do it because I am not healthy and physically fit, I'm kinda underweight so my parents take special care that I eat nd if I don't , well they tell me to eat and then I must so I can't fast, even if I do then when they ask me why I am fasting I won't be able to tell them that I had the habit of masturbation so I'm fasting to control my sexual feelings..... So if you had any other way then please tell me(it will still be okay if you don't) nd if u don't know any other then it's okay. And I thank you for your help and by the way can I ask where you live? Have a happy and safe journey to the cities where one now considers himself lucky to be able to visit.... Allah hafiz

  31. bismillahirahmanirahim. salam first,thank you Mr Proffesor.because some reseans i couldn`t still see them but i guess they are scientific nd good.....muslimboy if ur parent are urging u to eat something ,u know it is essential to eat.but there are some food wich increas ur sexual feeling nd don`t eat them,of course whatever u can.forexample:fast foods,egg,date, onion,pepper,meat.maybe u think it causes u become very powerless.but know if u can`t give up masturbation it will detract from u alot of energy nd mineral materials like iron nd calcium nd decrease oxygen wich is necessary for brain.also i have some other advice:1 we speak about bad influences nd sin of masturbation but u mustn`t busy ur thinkings nd be strong opposite it.2.ur stomach when u want sleep shouldn`t be full of food.3 evacuatian vesica nd don`t drink water before go to bed.4when u want to go to bed nd sleep u must be so much tierd nd sleep as soon as u go to bed.5 u should not be alone in home nd have some good nd chaste friend to comunication eith them when u are alone.6read books,go to some scientific or art or sport classes,group activites nd another funny nd intresting diongs are useful.7 pay attention to world objects nd news wich are about ur favorites. communicate with other teens with different cultures nd views in all the world.u must do some great nd important activites that can forget these sexual despised problems while u are in teen ages...bye the way i live in iran.thank you alot nd allah hafiz

    • Ok and thanks for allllll your help, I will try to act upon your advices and I remembered something you might find helpful, when I was in 7th class, I had Arabic subject in school and there was an exercise in which we had to translate Arabic to Urdu, I remembered that in it there was a sentence about sins, that what act is a sin. The answer is that an act which you feel youself guilty for and/or you do not want others to find about that act of yours is a sin....like take lying, when we lie, we feel guilty that we should have not done that and we also don't want others to find it out because we may lose our trust on others and for some other reasons too, so lie is a sin(of course). Hope this will help you to determine which acts are sins and which are not. Thanks for your help and Allah Hafiz.

      • bismillah salam alaikum!thank you for what you wrote for me.god says in quran:. ((فذکر ان الذکر تنفع المومنین)). so it's good to advise each other nd once thanks.i have an important advice too.i'm sure you know it but i remind it.if we study quran nd try to know its purports ,quran will guide us.therefore it can help us to give up every badthing and sins like masturbation.imam sadiq (alaihisalam)said:(of course the hadiths wich i say in english language arn't origin nd exact.because they are in arabic language) the person who reads quran and/whereas he is a young believer the quran will be mixed with his flesh and blood. allah hafiz

  32. best way to stay away frm masturbation is doing healthy activities.Excercise and sports r the best options.if u do it regularly,it will help u to use strength and all energy in positive way

  33. dear "desperate",
    One word one solution bro, do zikr as in recite ALLahs names as much as u can even in the whole day you can do that i mean depends on you as much as you can, or wen ur having these extreme urges or temptations just keep reciting and since im a psychology student i can understand what you mean by the continuous thoughts that one has all day and until you dont masturbate those thoughts just dont go away and a person feels guilty and like a bad person all the time, but you dont need to okay? ill tell you something, what you do is, and this is how you can actually lessen this act, make a promise to urself like keep a reminder it will not only make you discipline yourself but it will eventually lead you to giving up on it with the passage of time im not sure but i hope so inshallah, so yea what you can do is you can make a promise to urself to do it once a week only and not everyday, and then wen u see that ur slowly improving and lessening it you can thn promise to do it once in two weeks and so on keep increasing days wen u start seeing that ur getting more disciplined with urself , and do zikr as much as you can as reciting Allahs names and remembering him will bring you and make u feel closer to him and you l grow to love him and the more ul fear him and the more you would hate to dissapoint him . do reply back to me if you feel like this helped maybe even if it helped just a lil wee bit do let me know.

  34. assalamu alaikum,

    im a 15 year old boy currently living in pakistan...i have tried to become the best muslim i can.....starting from 2011 ramadan......but in he last few months my friends started talking about masturbating .....i thought of it as disgusting and used to leave conversations but soon my head filled with curiosity adn well.... i gave in......and then i used to maybe...2-3 times a week but i always felt guilty thinking that surely Allah swt is very angry at me so i used the internet to search weather it was wrong or not and looking through all of the posts, scholar reviews etc.... i came to the decision that it was wrong and now i try ways to protect my self.....i would promise my self every friday not to do it but after every week a would go back :( :( :(

    i go to a co-education school so keeping my gaze down every day is very (extremely) tough for me.......and another problem is that im usually alone at the house so theres more time for...thoughts....to come in my mind.......my exams recently have caused more stress for me so i masturbated more ;( .......i know if i voulantry fast i will not keep a fast 1 day and masturbate AGAIN!......my friends keep on saying its good and BLAH BLAH BLAH but i know its bad.......

    i Hoped i would get wet dreams and those would release tension instead of masturbating but they were too less often..... I need the internet for school work and every time theres an ad with a girl...in skimpy outfits selling God knows what not and the urge takes over me

    please bros and sisters i neeed solutions.......getting married is not a choice....nor is holding talks with my family....HELP ME!!!!!!!plz!!

    - Another Desperate 15 year old boy

    • Asalaam alaikum young brother,

      Let's talk about some practical steps you can take when using the internet. One of the first is to AdBlock for your web browser. It's an extension that you download and it will automatically take out some images/ads that would otherwise tempt you. The good thing is that if an image/ad gets past it that has a woman, you can right-click on it and block that ad or image with this program. In this way, it's like hitting back at the temptations of the Shaytan. Every time you block an image say, "Bismillah." This can be a way for you to take small steps towards Allah (swt) every day.

      As many people now, there are ads/videos on youtube and even facebook that tempt you, so again, use this program to combat those images/ads. Believe me brother, in time, this will make surfing the web a lot easier. Also, you must place your computer in a public room like the living or dining room from now on. Do not tempt yourself by being alone in your house or in room with the computer. Right now, you know it's a potential trap for you, so treat it as you would a wild animal: with much caution.

      Another step to take, is that when you are studying, have a Qur'an recitation playing in the background. Do this whenever you are alone, as well. If you have tasbih beads, place those near your computer and keep them as a reminder any time you get tempted. Carry them with you in your pocket or around your wrist at school, so when you may be tempted by a female, you can use those beads as your reminder to make dua at that time. When you step outside your home, always say "Bismillah" and the same when you go to school. Train your mind onto the remembrance of Allah (swt). This should help you, too.

      What you need to do my brother is to set up roadblocks to your lusts. There may be times that you fail this, but the important thing is to always keep at it. So don't think of yourself as falling off a great mountaintop, but think of yourself as sliding back on an incline when you do fail. You just need to learn that you can get back up, clean yourself off and strive again to Allah (swt). It's sometimes going to be difficult and there will be times when you get weak, but keep struggling against it. Allah (swt) is always there for you and He will help you. He is the Most Merciful Lord and He waits for us to return because He loves us. Remember that.

      You see young brother, what is happening is that Shaytan's victory doesn't just come through your sinning, but what his ultimate goal is, is to make you lose hope altogether. So he tempts you in small steps like the whispering of your friends, then the internet and reinforces it through your friends again. So in this case, you have to learn to take those steps away from Shaytan by guarding your and your ears from vain talk, especially that of your friends. This also means leaving your friends and finding new ones. True friends don't talk about and indulge in sin, instead real friends help each other to overcome sins and encourage each other to good deeds. The Holy Prophet always helped those around him and tried to show them the best path. In this way, we should be friends like to one and other. We must learn to enjoin the good, especially as flourishing men.

      Also young brother, talk to your father about what your going through, but I do not mean to say that you should confess your sins. Just go to him and say, "Dad, I need to talk to you privately. I'm having some problems and I need your help really bad. I have these desires in me about girls and it's getting hard to get past it. I know I'm growing up and this happens, but Dad, I'm worried about the things I think about and the temptations all around me. It's bothering me a lot and since you love me and Allah (swt) gave me to you as your child, I really need to talk and I need your help every day."

      With this, take the time to spend more time with your father and Insha'allah, he will know of some activities to put you into like martial arts, perhaps building RC cars, maybe real cars, etc. Use this opportunity to ask your father about what being a man is supposed to be and how a man is supposed to think and act towards women in the light of Islam. I know it's embarrassing to talk about sex, but knowing what's right is better than getting into a bunch of wrong because of ignorance.

      I also want you to go over some of the videos I posted above. I know they're a bit complex, but it helps to understand what your mind is going through.

      I will try my best to help you, bro. I was young once and I know it's tough these days. The important thing is that if you have a relapse, it's just falling off a bike. You may be hurt afterwards, but you need to clean yourself properly and keep going to Allah (swt). Never lose sight of that my brother.

      Thank you for posting, bro. You may not know that for those of us who answer, it gives us hope, too. Hope that if nothing we did this day was of any good, that at the very least, we could help someone get closer to Allah (swt).

      Insha'allah, we will be worthy of being His servants.

  35. thanxx prof X for the advice....it has been over a week since masturbatin nd i was able to over come my desires more than once nd i hope i stay like t his until marrige.....

    prof X my dad is in canada nd well...we dont talk much.. ...i only have a brother 3 yrs older than me but talking to a dad its much easier than my bro....its not that we dont like each other....we share evrything....but its more difficult to talk to my bro.....

    i do try to focus my mind on other things such as school or football....adblocker would be easy and i cud give it a try....but for the computer part...i hav a laptop and it wont matter much if i do sit outside bcuz the screens facing me (though it does help when im around my mother to stop getting evil thoughts)

    its not all friends whi say that....most are always there to help me in my time of need nd i try my bst to stay away frm others....

    thanxx again for advise and will try to protect my self as much i can.....Peace to all

    p.s im using my mobile so they may be typing errors

  36. assalam alikum . i have a simple question. that once i masturbate to the end then my whole month passes very comfortably and peacefully and no desire to masturbate till next month is it right or wrong?

  37. Assalamualaikum to all my brothers in Islam . I have read the whole conversation between all of you . I have the same problem with this young boy . However my case is a little bit different . I am 20 years old living in a Islamic country . I was diagnosed with HIV months ago . I was so devastated to think that now i am contracted with HIV . I repented to Allah because i fear his azab in the Hell . Because of having this HIV i promise myself to not get married because my illness will be passed to my wife if i get married and i really dont want it to happen . Naturally i have that desire to have sex but i know i cant because i have the HIV and i know i dont want to commit zina or homosexuality . But i just cant help it . I think masturbation is the only way to fulfil my desire . I cant marry anyone . Help me . I cant marry because i am sick . But the desire is there . Is it ok for a man who cannot marry do masturbate ?

    • Normally we ask you to submit a question as a post but there is a link you may find useful.
      May Allah swt help you through your trial.
      The general ruling is that 'masterbation is permissible for one that cannot marry and fears falling into zina' - so yes.
      Please see this link:
      http://islamqa.info/en/ref/83140

      If you need any further advice please log in and submit your question as a post.

      Sara
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Salam Sara , thank you for answering . I have read the link that you gave but still i dont find a clearer answer to that . But based on what you wrote - it is permissible if someone really cant get married but in the same time have that desire . I know i will not get married because based on a hadith - Rasullulah (peace be upon him) mentioned that a camel that is sick , cannot nix with healthy camels . So i believe that i ( the sick people) cannot get married because i am afraid to pass the virus to my wife . Sometimes the desire came and i really cant stop it and thinking of masturbation .. I really stressed about this .

        • Do not be stressed about it brother. It may be that this illness is a means to a high level of Jannat for you. Allah does not intend hardship for any of His slaves which is why for those unable to get married who still have desires (such as yourself) masterbation is allowed. If you are still worried about whether its permissible speak to a scholar if it will reassure you. The link I gave you was written by a scholar.

          Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #1570, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah May Allah be pleased with him

          Allah's Messenger May Allah's peace and praise be on him said, "On the Day of Resurrection, when people who have suffered affliction are given their reward, those who are healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world."

          [Tirmidhi transmitted it, saying that this is a gharib tradition.]

          Please do log in and submit a post if you have further queries so we can help you further InshaAllah brother.

          Sara
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Brother Ikhwan, I quickly want to add that HIV shouldn't stop you from marrying. I believe you can get married to a woman (Muslim or from Ahl-e-kitab Jews/Christian) who is also HIV carrier. In this way you will be able to fulfill your natural physical, emotional desires of companionship with a partner, unless there are any other medical issues which may arise from such union. We don't get married for procreation only, you shouldn't either for that matter since that child (s) will suffer too. Ultimately, as Sara said above, log-in and write your question as a separate post and iA we will try to help. Do speak to an imam about the option that I put forward. You don't lose anything by trying, start searching for a partner but inform them up-front about your illness. Just a thought;).

            May Allah (swt) make this easy for you and make your sufferings a way of salvation for you on the day of Judgement iA. Amin.

            Muhammad1982,
            Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

  38. Assalamualaikum to my sister sara and to my brother muhammad .
    Sara , i cried when i read what you have wrote . It's true maybe this is just a great trial for me so that i came back to allah . I have been sinned for many years . I do great sins . I forgot allah and his prophet . I deny the al quran . I fought with my parents and disobeyed them . I mixed with people who are not my mahram . And one day i was diagnosed with hiv . My world collapsed . All the sins that i have done playing in my head .
    To all my muslim brothers and sisters . Remember that there's a reason why allah forbids us from doing a sin . To protect us from evils . Allah gave me this trial so that i pray to him and begging to him . Now i dont want anything but allah's forgiveness . I am afraid that allah wont forget me but i know allah is the most merciful . Those who repent to him , are his lovers . I am afraid that i will die as a disbeliever . O my dear friends , al quran has came from allah and in that , allah told us the punishments for those who commit sin. And allah told us how beatiful the reward for those who do righteous deeds . Even though i am not very good in reading quran , but islowly start to read it an its translation .. I cried almost everynight remembering all my sins . And regarding masturbation , i just cant help it . . I am afraid i will go back to old me . I istighfar and say allah's name but somestimes i am just a plain man who has a lust ..i do it because of allah .

    Dear brother muhammad , i have made my decision . Eventhough i am still young and i dont what is going to happen next , but i dont want to get married a woman with or without hiv . I dont want to pass it to my children . I just want give my self to allah . It is ok if i dont get married because i know later if i go to heaven , i will have a great woman who patiently waits for me in jannah . As for now. I just seeking for allah's forgiveness .

    Thank you to my brother and muslim . Remember dont commit sin . There's a reason why allah haram one thing . Keep remembering him. Pray a lot . Allah will help . If u did a sin. Repent immediately with all your heart .
    May allah protects us my muslim sisters and brothers .
    Assalamualaikum .

  39. Salam to all, I am surprised no one qouted following fitwa, very logical and concise

    http://www.islamawareness.net/Sex/fatwa_sex_003.html

    In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

    All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

    Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for showing keenness on learning the teachings of Islam, and we appreciate the great confidence you have in us. We hope our efforts meet your expectations, yet we apologize for the late reply.

    With regard to your question, it is very important as it touches a problem most of Muslim youth, who are yet to get married, are facing due to the great deal of temptations surrounding them. As you know, masturbation is perfectly acceptable in non-Muslim societies and is practiced by large number of people: young, single, old, and even married. However, the situation is different in Islam. The ruling on masturbation is governed by some considerations that might change the ruling from one person to another.

    The late prominent scholar Sheikh Mustafa Az-Zarqa, may Allah bless his soul, has analyzed the issue of masturbation in detail and, after discussing the different views of scholars and jurists regarding it, issued the following fatwa:

    “The only legal text used as evidence for the prohibition of masturbation is Allah’s saying describing the believers: “Those who guard their sexual organs except with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors.” (Al-Mu'mun: 5-7)

    Commenting on this verse, some scholars hold the view that this habit (masturbation) falls under the category of those who seek fulfillment of their sexual desires outside the framework of marriage, and as such they are deemed transgressors. Those scholars put masturbation under the list of the forbidden categories of sexual fulfillment since it constitutes transgression of boundaries. This view is held by the Shafi`ites (followers of the Shafi`i school of Fiqh).

    However, some other scholars believe that the transgression meant in the aforementioned verse refers to extra-marital relations and what falls under the category of Zina (adultery). According to this view, masturbation does not fall under the meaning of this verse. This view is very close to the opinion held by the Hanafites (followers of the Hanafi school), who maintain that masturbation is basically forbidden, but it may be permissible under the following conditions:

    1. if the person is unmarried,

    2. if he or she fears that without masturbation he/she will commit Zina, and

    3. if the masturbation here is, rather than fulfilling a sexual desire, just to release the sexual tension resulting from stimulation.

    I conclude that the general principles of Shari`ah go against this habit, because it is not the normal way of fulfilling sexual desire; however it is a deviation – and that is enough to condemn it, even though this act does not fall under the category of absolute prohibition like Zina. However, the law of necessity, which is one of the principles of Shari`ah, should also apply here. For example, if someone is afraid that he would commit a greater sin like Zina or he will be harmed by some psychological disorders, then the ban on masturbation would be relaxed just to remove the hardship, based on the Shari`ah principle that states that “necessity is judged according to the circumstances that warrant it.”

    That means going to the extreme in masturbating is not permissible in all cases, for the following two reasons:

    1. it would be resorted to not as a case of extreme necessity to release the tension and the pain resulting from sexual arousal, but to fulfill the sexual desire, and

    2. it is harmful to one's health, and whatever is physically harmful is not allowed in Shari`ah, according to the consensus of the Muslim scholars.

    In addition to the two conditions stipulated by the Hanafites, I would add two more conditions based on the general rules of Shari`ah:

    1. the difficulty of getting married, and

    2. The inability to fast.

    As we know, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has advised those who cannot afford marriage to fast, saying: "O youth, whoever of you is able to marry, let him marry, for it prevents forbidden stares or lapsing in adultery. And if he cannot marry, let him observe fasting, for it is a shield against evil." (Sahih Al-Bukhari, English Translation, Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith no. 4; Sahih Muslim, Book 008, Hadith no. 3231)

    This is the view I believe to be the most correct concerning this issue.”

    • soncool, I have deleted your recent comment because it contained the "opinions" of a person who rejects Quran and Hadith against his whims and his understanding. But the meanings of the Quran and Hadith are taken from the understanding of the Sahaabah and their followers. If we do not understand it, we say "we hear and obey". But some people reject it saying it is not "logical". The Wisdom of Allah CAN NOT fit the human logic, so we should take from the Quran and Sunnah, as the salaf understood them, in order to make sure we do not be among the 72 sects of Islam that would be thrown into the Hell fire. Such rejections of Aayaat, Ahaadeeth, Qadr, Allah's Attributes and Names, etc. give birth to new SECTS which are forbidden and Allah Has Said thay we have nothing to do with such people who divide in such fashion.

      I hope that you will be careful next time, and take knowlege from the correct sources and not from the rejecters of Quran and Ahaadeeth.

      Jazak Allahu Khair,

      Your brother, Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  40. Assalamualaikum...dear brother...u r 15 its the age where hormones are at their peek and u live in an environment where these thoughts could come 24/7 whether u provoke them or not...
    but masturbation is haram its a fact..
    its very hard to restrain from it
    in now a days...now imagine an islamic ideal environment no magazines,no co education,parties,functions,tablues.no women exposed no banners posters,,,none on tv...our mornings start with prayer whole day we do our jobs,schools,wor,outside,parks in non provoking we sit n talk about without any sexual talks,about affairs about celebrities anything we say prayer sleep after isha no late night anythings like games movies seminas....then everything would hve been perfect n it woulb be easy if someone had the urges he could have restrained by fasting.....or all the things
    bt now it is very difficult
    now u hve to develop these ideal situations for urself,develop deep relation with quran and Allah..start understanding it find out the reason y it is haram...n find out how far the strength n determination u have inside urself to go to do as your Creator says......
    find out the eason y u want to do it
    like we do everything for our paents n we pass all other boundaries to go as our loved ones want so find out how far n hard u r going to go after His sayings
    otherwise the most easy is the way out...He wont say anything if u choose the easy way out
    but if u try hader hader ull get over it in some years inshallah...ask Him to aid u
    may Allah help u
    every thing every habit takes very long time to go so try if u slip then do astaghfar then try again
    even it is for million times
    but as a muslim it is my opinion dnt find the easy way out
    May Allah help u...feamanillah

  41. It is like stop smoking... You think it is impossible... First some Weeks and months are obviously difficult... But eventually you will even hate the smell of the smoke.. I never thought I can stop masturbation.. But when I could stop smoking I realized I can stop masturbation too ..
    Now years.. No frustration... Then I married.. Harpy life... Alhamdulillah
    Alhamdulillah...

  42. Asalam o Alaikum hey i myself am also 15 and was searching fr answers tht is mastubration harmful ? well frm my experience i have never done it and dont intend on doing it i only did it once and felt very weak i feel tht it is a sin but my friend if u r trying to save u r self frm Zina (sex ) then i think u may masturbate but try to avoid it i knw its very hard but i myself can avoid it so if i can avoid it why cant u ?

  43. Dear Brother Abu Abdul Bari, you took my comments offline because you do not agree with his views and logic and reference to his article.

    (remainder of the comment has been deleted by the Editor. Souncool, please avoid mentioning the articles of people who reject Quran and Hadith. I, and every Muslim who is upon the Sunnah rejects such articles because they are "his" ideologies and logic, not that of Islam. His articles and those of his students' will be deleted whenever you post them. Thank you. Abu Abdul Bari, IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

  44. Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:

    First from the Qur’aan:

    Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):

    "And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7

    Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.

    "And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty." 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.

    Secondly, from the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him):

    Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said,"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.

    There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allaah knows what is best and most correct. Click Here to read more Question and Answer about Masterbation.

    As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:

    1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.

    2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth.

    3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.

    4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings): "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31
    Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).

    5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshiping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.

    6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.

    7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.

    8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.

    9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.

    10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).

    11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth: "Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.

    12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.

    13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.

  45. assalam o aalaikum,

    the best way to get rid of this problem is to pray five times a day and do zikr e ALLAH ( Ya- Khabeero) aftr every salah and in ur free tym.. Allah will surely help u and u-ll get rid of this prob.. and listen there is no 1 in ths wrld who cn help u out in ths matter but ALLAH..

    dont waste ur free tym in watchng t.v or sumthng else like talking bad thngs wid ur mates and most importantly keep ur eyes down infront of every single woman whch is nt halal for u.. this will surely help u to get rid out of this prob insha ALLAH.. remembr me in ur prayers..

  46. Hey I am a 17 year old and I used t masturbate a lot, but alhamdulla I finnally stopped 7months ago.
    How I did it was, every time I pray while doing sujod I kind of make duaa to for myself to stop doing it.
    Ur testosterone is the thing that makes u horny, testosterone can be used in producing sperm or growing muscle, so try to hit the gym, but beware of the yoga pants there.
    Now when I feel horny, I try to get busy, like call a friend, pray, play COD, DO ANYTHING THAT U LOVE.
    If u had to masturebaite then do it with ur left hand and u must then take a shower, but plz try not watch porn because these movies aren't real. They are mostly captures in studious in California. These movies aren't REAL SEX it's just a thing to get u horny and pay money to watch. 95% percent of what they do in these movies are haram.

    Peace

  47. As Salam Walekum,

    dude i will not say that whether masturbation is haram or not but you are 15 and still developing so it is advisable for you to engage in other activities or adopt other hobbies..

    may allah take care

  48. Force yourself to make a swear (oath) to Allah to stop mastrubating like i did and thankfully i successfully never do that disgusting sin again yet (forever, i keep praying).
    Yes people can lower their gazes, especially to attractive opposite sex. It's okay to be attracted but no dirty and shameful thoughts. Keep positive thinking and know the limits taught in Islam when like opposite sex.

    Now for times when i feel the carnal urge (to masturbate or god forbids even do zina),
    just remember that sacred oath i made with God. Stop whatever i'm doing (like watching/seeing lustful opposite sex from tv, pc, books, even real-life), try to remember something awful, scary, depressing, parents/siblings love, etc that can make you stop. And most importantly just do religious things as easier as possible (personally i just pray/salah).

    That's when wet dreams sometimes come in sleeps, and they're not sins since it's involuntary fantasy. Look up to people (even non-muslims, or even fictional characters) who're single and don't do masturbations (celibacy).
    Just remember, IT'S IMPRESSIVELY COOL TO NOT MASTURBATE.

    May Allah help us all.

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