I want to turn back to Allah, but scared He won’t accept me
Assalamualikum I am a young man. I was a very good Muslim some months ago like 5-6 months ago. By the grace of Allah I used to offer my 5 daily prayers in Mosque and read and write about the Quran and was a very God fearing person. I turned out to be this way from a very modern life style of Masturbating,Smoking and getting involved in other shameful activities but then i became a very God fearing person as i mentioned i sometimes use to cry on my bed with tears for the sins i used to commit daily. Allah changed my life completely and I was feeling so good and everything was perfect my studies and all of the things in my life.
Than slowly when i was gifted enough i forgot that Allah was the one who did everything for me and started to get involved in bad habits again slowly and slowly watching porn and getting started with girls again. I started masturbating thinking every time it will be my last than i used to say Allah will forgive me and then i stopped offering any prayers slowly and slowly and stopped reading Quran at all.. Now i am passing through a very difficult life stage and i feel like Allah has cursed me for the sins i committed after he blessed me.
Now my main problem is that i feel guilty of going back to that Islamic lifestyle I feel like how will i face Allah again after betraying him when he blessed me so much with all of his great rewards. Now i have no friends only enemies and they will do anything to kill me.. I have no hope but Allah. But i dont even know how to get under his mercy again and be forgiven please help me with this and tell me how can i seek Lord's forgiveness after disobeying him once after seeing all the realities of world and hearafter please tell me with providing of Quranic Ayats and Hadith.. Please i need a serious help to know "whether Allah will accept me again only when i am returning to him when i am in such big troubles.." because i know we should love Allah either we are happy or in sorrow but i rejected him when I had everything but now again when i am in problem i feel like returning to him. please tell me what should i do..
-Abdullah Ali
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As salamu alaykum, brother Abdullah Ali,
Thank you very much for opening your Heart to us, may Allah(swt) make me worth of your trust.
Go back to Allah(swt), now with no doubt in your Heart that you are doing the best you can do.
Your experience will teach you humility and submission if you want to learn from it, and you won´t ever be again the man you were, now you are touched by wrong doing, sins, your knees are on earth trembling for your faults, and your Heart is fill of grief and sorrow, Allah(swt) is your refuge from evil and the comfort of your Heart, He(swt) has been always for you, all the good that came to your life, came from Him(swt) all the bad came from our wrong doings, then don´t ever think Allah(swt) has cursed you, Astagfiroullah, through our choices we stand or we fall.
Your choices made you fall in darkness and once we fall, we are easy preys of evil, but thank Allah(swt) and everyone around they have been for you, good or bad, they have helped you to question yourself and your situation, they have pushed you to come back to Allah(swt), Alhamdulillah.
And If you recite the Names and Attributes of our Lord(swt) you will experience softness in your Heart, He is Al-Afuw, An-Nur, Al-Hadiy, Ar-Rahmani, Ar-Raheem,...go deep in their meaning, make it yours and make dua to our Lord asking for forgiveness and guidance. Read and recite the Quran, read about our beloved Prophet(saw) life and surround yourself with people that helps you to be closer to your deen.
Enjoy being alive, be with your family, love them, exercise, have some hobbies,....Bismillah, create a life where you acknowledge Allah(swt) Presence with every breathing you take, acknowledge, thank and share the blessings you have, ...insha´Allah.
Related to repentance I took this from other comments made by Brother Wael and Sister Sara in this post, http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/how-do-i-repent/
,
“Say: “O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him (in Islam) before the torment comes upon you, (and) then you will not be helped.
And follow the best of that which is sent down to you from your Lord (i.e. this Qur’aan, do what it orders you to do and keep away from what it forbids), before the torment comes on you suddenly while you perceive not!’”
[al-Zumar 39:53-54 – interpretation of the meaning]
The word tawbah (repentance) is a great word with deep meaning. It is not, as many people think, merely words to be uttered whilst persisting in sin. Think about what Allaah says:
“Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance”
[Hood 11:3 – interpretation of the meaning]
You will see that repentance is something more than seeking forgiveness.
Conditons of repentance
1 – Giving up the sin immediately.
2 – Regretting what has happened in the past.
3 – Resolving not to go back to it.
Sister Sarah has shared with us these duas, I would encourage you to do the last one everytime you feel the whispers of Shaytan: "La hawla wala quwwata illa billah"
(There is no Might or Power except with Allah)
Du’as for anxiety/difficulty
اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَ الْحَزَنِ ، وَ الْعَجْزِ وَ الْكَسَلِ ، وَ الْبُخْلِ وَ الْجُبْنِ ، وَ ضَلَعِ الدِّيْنِ وَ غَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
Allahumma inni a’udhubika minal hammi wal hazan, wal ‘ajzi wal kasal, wal bukhli wal jubn, wa dhala’id-dayni wa ghalabatir rijaal
O Allah! I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and from being overpowered by men (other people)
[Sahih al-Bukhari 7:158]
اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي اُنْزِلُ بِكَ حَاجَتِىْ وَ اِنْ قَصُرَ رَابِىْ وَ ضُعْفَ عَمَلِى افْتَقَرْت ;ُ اِلى رَحمَتِكَ
Allahumma inni unzila bika haajati wa-in qasuura rubbi wa du’fa ‘amali iftaqartu illa Rahmatika
O Allah! I ask You to answer my needs, though my intellect is weak, and my actions are defective, O Allah! I am in need of Your Mercy
حَسْبِيَ اللهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ
HasbiyAllahu wa ni’mal wakeel
Allah is my availer and protector and the best of aids.
رَبِّ اِنِّىْ مَغْلُوْبٌ فَانْتَصِرْ
Rabbi inni maghlubun fan-tass-ssir
O Allah! I am overpowered, so help me.
[surah al-Qamar, 54:10]
This was the du’a of sayyidna Nuh (alayhis salam) after 950 years of preaching to a stubborn people.
Also repeat "La hawla wala quwwata illa billah
(There is no Might or Power except with Allah)
She has shared with us in other post the following:
"The whispering of the devil if the starting point of all evil deeds. It begins as a whisper and turns into an evil thought. Then the devil pictures the thought in your mind and turns it into a desire, which later becomes a will. He then makes you forget all the consequences and bellittles the outcome of the sin, until you see nothing but the fulfillment of your lust. It is in the stage that the devil dispatches his soldiers to urge you to achieve your desire whenever you show any negligence" (Ibn Qayyim - Tafsir Surah Nas)
"Do you recognise this process? When you feel desire you may be at the thought stage or the later stage but remind yourself that shaytaan is whispering to you and remember that Allah is watching you."
We know the process and, second by second, we have to stablish the boundaries not to let the evil get close to us, insha´Allah. Repenting sincerely, giving up the sin for the sake of Allah(swt) and not going back to it, with Allah(swt)´s help, insha´Allah.
It is reported on the authority of ‘Anas bin Malik rađiyAllāhu ánhu that he heard the beloved Messenger of Allah śallAllāhu álayhi wa sallam say,
“Allah, the Exalted, has said: “O Son of Adam! I shall continue to pardon you as long as you beseech and request of Me regardless to what you have done! If your sins reach the clouds in the sky, and then, you ask for My forgiveness, I shall forgive you, and I do not mind. O Son of Adam! If you come to Me with an earthful of faults, and you meet Me believing in no partner to Me, I shall come to you with an earthful of pardon.”
Reported by at-Tirmizī.
I took the following from: http://islamicsunrays.com/if-you-did-not-commit-sins/
What is Allah’s attitude toward sins? He condemns the sins we commit, but He waits for us to repent, and when we do He welcomes us. If we go to Him crawling, He comes to us walking, and if we go to Him walking, He comes to us running, as the Prophet (pbuh) reported in a famous Hadith Qudsi:
“Allah says, ‘I am just as My servant thinks I am, and I am with him if he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than them; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.’ “ [Sahih Al-Bukhâri, 9/7405 (O.P.502)].
“O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. Verily, Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Quran 39:53).
I hope this help you, insha´Allah.
All my Unconditional Respect and Support,
María
IslamicAsnwers.com Editor
Assalamu alaykum Brother,
May Allah guide you again. Allah is the Forgiver of Sins, The Acceptor of Repentance.
25. And He it is Who accepteth repentance from his bondmen, and pardoneth the evil deeds, and knoweth what ye do.
26. And accepteth those who do good works, and giveth increase unto them of His bounty. And as for disbelievers, theirs will be an awful doom.
27. And if Allah were to enlarge the provision for His slaves they would surely rebel in the earth, but He sendeth down by measure as He willeth. Lo! He is Informed, a Seer of His bondmen. -a.Surah Ash Shura.
Brother sometimes actions and implementation of belief are required to turn to Allah again after sins.
133. And vie one with another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those who ward off (evil);
134. Those who spend (of that which Allah hath given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loveth the good;
135. And those who, when they do an evil thing or wrong themselves, remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins. Who forgiveth sins save Allah only?. and will not knowingly repeat (the wrong) they did.
136. The reward of such will be forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens underneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide for ever, a bountiful reward for workers! - Surah Al Imraan.
Brother, remove the "cause" of sins from your life or if you cannot remove, stay far away from them.
This way you will Insha Allah not commit those sins as the very cause of sin is out of your life.
Like do not log on to porn sites, do not do social networking with girls, remove profiles from these sites, etc.
Once you stop doing "wrong", Allah will guide you.
But if you continue to do wrong, Allah won't guide wrong doers.
As He says in Surah As Saff:
Wallaahu laa yahdil qawmazzalimiin - Allah does not guide the wrong doers.
Qad aflahaman tazakka - He indeed is successful
Wa zakarasma rabbihi fasalla - And remembereth His Lord so prayeth - Surah Al A'laa.
Success lies in prayer, in salaat, hayyaa alassalaah, hayyaa alalfalaah - come to prayer, come to success,
so beautiful adhaan Masha Allah, it is bringing tears to my eyes while I write these words.
Allahu Akbar.
Leave wrong actions, do not obey sinful people, remember Allah, believe His revelations and do good deeds.
21. O ye who believe! Follow not the footsteps of the devil. Unto whomsoever followeth the footsteps of the devil, lo! he commandeth filthiness and wrong. Had it not been for the grace of Allah and His mercy unto you, not one of you would ever have grown pure. But Allah causeth whom He will to grow. And Allah is Hearer, Knower. - Surah An Nuur.
Read the below verses very carefully and know what Allah wants to convey by them:
23. Lo! We, even We, have revealed unto thee the Qur’an, a revelation;
24. So submit patiently to thy Lord's command, and obey not of them any guilty one or disbeliever.
25. Remember the name of thy Lord at morn and evening.
26. And worship Him (a portion) of the night. And glorify Him through the livelong night.
27. Lo! these love fleeting life, and put behind them (the remembrance of) a grievous day.
28. We, even We, created them, and strengthened thee frame. And when We will, We can replace them, bringing others like them in their stead.
29. Lo! this is an Admonishment, that whosoever will may choose a way unto his Lord.
30. Yet ye will not, unless Allah willeth. Lo! Allah is Knower, Wise.
31. He maketh whom He will to enter His mercy, and for evil doers hath prepared a painful doom.
- Surah Al Insaan.
Pray some parts of the night, Insha Allah.
Salaam,
Your brother.
as long as you did not do shierk while knowing you were doing sheirk allah will forgive you but dont just a ordanariy muslim do as much as you can to please allah like
1. read the quran more often
2.pray when everybody is sleeping in the night
3.Whoever prays 12 rakaat in the day and night, a house in Jannah will be built for him. 2 before fajr 4 before duhur 2 before asr 2 after maqrib 2 after isha
I am very embarassed and ashamed of my past, I have aborted...
(Remainer of question deleted by Editor)
Dear Simi, Asalaamualaykum,
I am sorry for the troubles you are experiencing. Allah says in Surah Zumar 39:53-55:
"Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
I would like to say more to console you but our policies state that you must log in and submit your post as a separate question. Having said that, recently there have been some very similar questions to yours, so if you search our database you will surely find something to help you inshaAllah.
May Allah ease your pain and grant you forgiveness, aameen.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear Sister Z,
Thank You for your answer, and I did post my question on the website as a new post, but its still pending review, I hope all of you can see it and make dua of forgiveness for me!
JazakAllah Khair!
I am going through the same mental state as this brother Abdullah Ali.
(Remainder of question deleted by Editor)
Saad,
Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. In the meantime, I want you to pay close attention to Allah's words in Surah az-Zumar 39:53:
"Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful."
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Me too in exact situation Mr. Saad. But after reading 1st answer in shaa Allah I will love allah more than I did before. with Allah's help 🙂
assalamwalaikum
first of all i would like to thank all brothers and sisters for such amazing words...may ALLAH bless you all. i am going through the same situation but at a different scale and your words are definately making a difference to me and i am going to make a point to change myself ..
all i wannt to say god is that i love him but i am scared to face him after the sins i commited. he is the most gracious and most merciful but when you cant own up to your friends for small mistakes how can you turn to god who sees all your sins and forgives them without stirring ..i am ashamed of my self and i want to change but i dont have courage not determination or any way i see in front of me that i can start making a change from...
dear brothers and sisters ... i want to turn back to god i really want to i just need re-enlightment
salam
.
Assalamu alaykum my brother Abdullah Ali,
Allah (swa) is the most merciful and forgiving. Allah is forgiving to those who ask for forgiveness. He's more condone than your own mother. Whatever sin you've done, as long as you truly are asking for forgiveness then I guarantee you my brother that Allah will forgive you. Don't let the devil take over you, he's taking advantage of you. Go back to being a God fearing muslim.
I wish you the best of luck my brother.
Salam.
assalamoalikum.. i am going through a confused and tensed state. My problem is that whenevr i seek forgiveness from Allah i realy feel change in myslf for a week or two. But after that my faith again becomes weak. i try to regain the same faith which i had two weeks bfre but it does not help in result i commit a sin n then i keepi on committing them.....n then there becomes a strong point in my mind tht nw Allah will punish me nothing else n i lose interest in my life....in my work in evrything just wish tht i wasnt born in this world and i get a feeling tht nw i wont be forgiven as i have seeked forgiveness so many times nw even Allah would be angry with me.....m scared feel alone most of the time. i am a very humble person. always trying to help if somone need. i try myslf not to hurt nyone n if i do i apologize at tht very point. i even help poor people but still i think somtimes tht Allah wont be observing these minor things nd would be angry with me only....i really lose the purpose of my life somtimes m so confused plz help me ......
Assalamualaikum brother Usman,
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala Says:
6:59
وَعِنْدَهُ مَفَاتِحُ الْغَيْبِ لَا يَعْلَمُهَا إِلَّا هُوَ ۚ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ ۚ وَمَا تَسْقُطُ مِنْ وَرَقَةٍ إِلَّا يَعْلَمُهَا وَلَا حَبَّةٍ فِي ظُلُمَاتِ الْأَرْضِ وَلَا رَطْبٍ وَلَا يَابِسٍ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مُبِينٍ
And with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record
So your thought that He won't Observe minor things is absolutely wrong. Nothing even moves without His Knowledge. If you do good deeds with a good niyyah, then He accepts it.
Narrated `Adi bin Hâtim: Allâh's Messenger ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said, ``There will be none among you but his Lord will talk to him, and there will be no interpreter between him and Allâh. He will look to his right and see nothing but his deeds which he has sent forward, and will look to his left and see nothing but his deeds which he has sent forward, and will look in front of him and see nothing but the (Hell) Fire facing him. So save yourself from the (Hell) Fire even with half a date (given in charity).'' Al-A`ma sh said: `Amr bin Murra said, Kh ai th ama narrated the same and added, ‘... even with a good word.'' (Sahih al Bukhari)
So your charity, if done with a good niyyah, will not be in vain, in sha Allah. Allah Says (as said by his prophet Yusuf Alaihis Salam):
اللَّهَ لَا يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُحْسِنِين
Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good. (Surah Yusuf, 90)
Imaan being low at times is normal. Like your clothes need to be cleaned and washed, even Imaan needs to be refreshed becauase it sees all kinds of evils in time. If you do not refresh it, it is likely to decrase further. Iman increases with obedience and decreases with disobedience. And every human being is likely to commit sin, disobey Allah at some point or the other.
Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said:
“Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” Narrated by al-
Tirmidhi, 2499
Whenever you commit a sin, repent to Allah. You would already be feeling remorse, then leave it immediately and then resolve never to repeat it.
If you do it, then hope that Allah Forgives you. He Is The Most Merciful and He Loves it when one turns to Him in repentance.
Narrated Al-Hâri th bin Suwaid: `Abdullâh bin Mas`ud related to us two narrations: One from the Prophet ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ and the other from himself, saying: A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain which, he is afraid, may fall on him; whereas a Fâjir (wicked evil-doer) considers his sins as flies passing over his nose and he just drives them away like this.'' Abu Sh ihâb (the subnarrator) moved his hand over his nose in illustration. (Ibn Mas`ud added): Allâh's Messenger ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said, ``Allâh is more pleased with the repentance of His slave than a man who encamps at a place where his life is jeopardized, but he has his riding animal carrying his food and water. He then rests his head and sleeps for a short while and wakes to find his riding animal gone. (He starts looking for it) and suffers from severe heat and thirst or what Allâh wished (him to suffer from). He then says, ‘I will go back to my place.' He returns and sleeps again, and then (getting up), he raises his head to find his riding animal standing beside him.'' (Bukhari)
You should also remember the following Aayah from Surah az Zumar:
39:53
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
And in another Aayah:
39:10
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِ الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمْ ۚ لِلَّذِينَ أَحْسَنُوا فِي هَٰذِهِ الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةٌ ۗ وَأَرْضُ اللَّهِ وَاسِعَةٌ ۗ إِنَّمَا يُوَفَّى الصَّابِرُونَ أَجْرَهُمْ بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ
Say, "O My servants who have believed, fear your Lord. For those who do good in this world is good, and the earth of Allah is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account."
Subhanallah! Our Lord Is The Most Merciful. You should read the following book and help yourself:
http://sunnahonline.com/ilm/purification/eemaan.pdf
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
jazakallah abu abdul bari please pray for me also.
Allah talha says k whenever we want him.nd whenever we say sorry to him by pure heart.God wil b there for us at every tym
Hello. I am in the same situation. Your story described me, especially the masturbating and smoking. I myself am struggling till this day with the same issues. A few years ago back in 2010, I began going to a mosque. I was originally Catholic with more deep Christian beliefs because I love Jesus. I began going to a mosque and learning that Jesus too was Islam. Isa was his name and he was going to come back.
I began praying 5 times a day and following the ways of Islam, but then slowly temptation brought me back to my wicked ways. Plus it was hard for me to reveal my Muslim side to my family. I have seen people from the Mosque and they have encouraged me to come back over the years, but I am hesitant because I feel I was wrong to leave now, although the thoughts of peace while learning about Islam still intrigues me, I still believe in Jesus Christ and that he was Islamic at it's full potential.
In 2012 I discovered I had a 7 year old son, who I personally prophesied about in 2004. I was born in 1984, My dad in 1964 and my Grandfather in 1934. I remembered I did get a young woman pregnant in my past, but she had told someone I knew that she had a abortion and she believed I left her to another state because I had a planned vacation with my family. I was 21 at the time and she was 19 or 20.
My son's mother found me in a night club while I was looking for girls to dance with and she came out of nowhere and showed me a picture of my son in her phone.
4 years later I am Dad with a full time job and I have joint custody of my son. And the few teachings of Islam and Jesus Christ miraculously help me get through all this strength through my Trials and Tribulations. I believe deeply in Allah and I feel him calling me back to the Mosque. I just don't know the best approach.
Assalamualaikkum.......brothers and sisters im a 17 years boy and i lives in ksa i had done 3 umraahs (thanks to Allah),,,,im having very bad characters like what the All teens do(except smoking and drinking),,,so now i wants to get back to allah,,,and now im seeking for allah's Mercy....,,,but sometimes i cant control myself of doing such bad things,,,,,,,i wants get rid of those..and i wants get closer to allah...please help me to control those bad things and getting closer to Allah
dude , thanks you help me alot in telling this story of yours
LISTEN CARE FULLY
we are the ummat of prophet (SAW) .. allah has the vast treasure of forgiveness . dont think that allah wont forgive you . its haram .even allah forgive the kuffaar , they do always bad things even so . so my advise for and me both is to go masjid (mosque ) to perform every namaz . think positive . ask for forgivness from ALLAH and his those fellow human biengs who had been hurt by you , be god fearing person and try to sit in bayaans and talks where molvee sahabs are talking about allahs soverieghn
HOPE YOU WILL LIKE MY ADVICE
aske any thing if you dont understand
im a Pakistani ,honest MUSLIM