Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Am I allowed to get married in Islam if my parents and family disown me from marrying a Muslim man?

Muslim woman, alone, lonely, thoughtful


I need help and proper answers please... There is a Muslim guy who likes me and I like him. His family came to my house 3 times now for my hand. My parents are both separate and my mother rejected the rishta. My mother told me to go to my father and ask of his approval. I had to go through a family member to get in contact with my father about this marriage. My father reply was, "do not marry anyone accept my nephews". I do not want to marry my fathers nephew. This brother is a good guy he comes from a respectable family. I do have maternal uncles or cousins to go to, but as my family broke apart 5 years due to personal reasons. Both my grandads have passed away. I went to see my grandad my both parents uncle and his son my uncle. I spoke to them openly. They met the family and guy. They approved of him. They were going to do the nikkah for me but then they didn't want to be part of anything. What can I do? Who can be my wali? I really want to get married and do everything the right way what can I do? Help me someone please...



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4 Responses »

  1. I would tell your mum no and if she loves you she will want you to be happy and not force you to marry your cousin you do not even like.

  2. Your father is far from Islam.You have every right to marry .But you must be muslim first.In islam women have more rights then a man.Arrange marriage is a culture thing it has nothing to do with Islam. todays muslims are very weak in knowledge as well as practise.If this marriage is not done according to sharia.It will never workout because Allah is the one who is running this sytem and so if we choose another way or route it will backfire.Islam is a religion of purity inwardly outwardly in mind and actions and so on.......So become muslim and testify that God is one who has no partner He has no family .There is no one who can imagine or comprehand him as a image.He is the first and the last and the most merciful generous creator who has creared this world for a purpose.And Muhammad is nothing but a messenger the seal of all prophets to guide the humanbeings to the worship the creator not the creation!!!

  3. Asalaam Walaikum Sister.

    If the boy in question has good character and deen then you can easily make contact with the local Imam and Insha'Allah you can marry without a Wali. But please make sure his character and deen are good!

    As it seems like in this case your father is being ignorant and not taking Islam seriously, rather than caring about your feeling he cares about the stupid backward culture ... Speak to your local imam and Insha'Allah will work out.

    Don't worry a lot of people say you can't marry without parents permission as this is cursed etc etc but when parents be unreasonable and have a mindset that is far from deen then by you marrying a spouse who is deen orientated this is far more pleasing to Allah and Allah will shower his blessings and mercy on the marriage (Insha'Allah).

    Read a lot more on the subject and once you feel comfortable make contact with an Imam and Insha'Allah it will all work out for the best. Have a read of this post ...

    May Allah SWT make it easy on you and bless you with a pious Husband and marriage ... Ameen.

  4. Dear Sister

    Ask your uncles to give permission or request local imam to act as your wali and marry the guy who seems suitable to you. Make sure you are satisfied about his character and deen as there should be no compromise on that. Other things can be improved with time.

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