Am I doomed to be a wanderer?
"Am I doomed to be a wanderer?"
I am currently married to a Catholic woman and we are having a very hard time dealing with our religious differences and are headed for a divorce.
I know I shouldn't have married outside of Islam, but at the time I was under the impression -- both from research and the brothers that married us -- that as a Muslim man, I could marry a Christian because they are "people of the book" Ahlul-Kitab.
We have three small children and I'm really concerned about them and their salvation. Am I doomed? Will I forever be outside the circle of Islam--is there any hope?
Based the Sharia I've read recently, I am doomed to be a wanderer? I live in the US am a Muslim convert.
- Ahmed
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No, you are not doomed to be a wanderer and you are not on the outside of anything.
When we go through things like divorce, it is easy to make terrible conclusions about our lives and futures. You ARE Muslim and always will be, wherever there is a mosque you will find brothers - and so you need not fear this "life of a wanderer" you speak of.
As long as you remain good to them and steadfast with them, your children will take their inspiration from you and follow in your footsteps. When we lead by example...people follow.
Stay strong, keep your chin up and all will be well God willing
Brother Ahmed, I don't know where you got this stuff about being doomed to be a wanderer, and being outside the circle of Islam. That is totally incorrect. You will always be Muslim and within the circle of Islam, as long as you believe in the Islamic tenets and practice the religion.
You were told correctly that it is permissible for a Muslim to marry women from the People of the Book, but that doesn't mean that it's a good idea. I always advise against it, precisely because of these sorts of conflicts that seem to occur all too often. Unfortunately hindsight is 20/20, as they say.
Leyla's response was sensible. Even if you get divorced, maintain your relationship with your children, love them, and teach them the deen.
And to Leyla's last line, "ditto".
Asalaamualaikum Brother Ahmed;
I can hear alot of pain and desperation in your post...
Just remember, that you did nothing Islamically wrong by marrying a Chrisitian woman. It may not have been the best decision - but it was Islamically acceptable and it was meant to 'be' that way. So try not to dwell on this.
Divorce is painful, but if this happens - maybe there is good in it for you and your children.
You and your wife will most probably have divided time with your children. Although your children will not be with you all the time, you will have some time together. And inshaAllah, you can make this time valuable by 'living' Islam with your children. I know how you must be feeling - you just want to make sure your children's ears are not filled with un-Islamic teachings - but you can only do your best Brother. Live and love Islam with them in the time you have and leave the rest to Allah - Allah will guide them as He wishes.
Allah wants us to represent Islam in an inspiring manner, so remind yourself that Allah is with you, you are not doomed. How can you possibly be doomed when you love Allah and want to strive for him??? : )
You are a Muslim and a striving one too - so do as Wael and Leyla say... be happy.
If your children see a happy father, they will be more drawn to you and your religion inshaAllah...
Celebrate the beauties and bounties of Allah. Allah is testing you, relax and you will find Him(swt) with you.
InshaAllah, He will make this path easy for you.
Sister Z
Ps: I don't know what 'sharia' you have been reading that made you feel that you were doomed Brother. It really doesnt sound right, either that or you are interpreting it incorrectly.
Assalamu aleykum brothers and sisters
Brother Wael the fact that marrying ahlal kitab is mentioned in Islam so i do not think it is an Idea there are certains things that you have to follow in order to succeed it does not mean that you marry a christian when you go through hard time that it is the end for you no you can marry a muslima and could go through worst time all i am saying is may be Allah is testing you you never know that is why you have to be patient and search a solution through prayers Allah ma ak.
It turns out that the brother who asked this question lives in my city and that we even go to the same masjid for Jum'ah! We exchanged emails and I told him to look for me at Jum'ah. We met and talked. He told me that he has worked out a satisfactory arrangement with his wife. She is remaining Catholic, but she will allow the children to be raised as Muslim, Alhamdulillah. On this basic they have decided to continue their marriage and not to divorce.
Wow look at tat. All Allah's doin, mashallah.
great mashallah!
Assalaumalikum. Sir i want say that my sister and my qasin had suck my grandmothers breests when they were child but my grandmother says milk was not come through her breests. Sir i want to say thay that., can they marry with each other
I am not a scholar, but since there was no milk, it seems to me common sense that they can marry. Allahu 'alam.
Wael
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