Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I feel upset and miss my wife

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hello brothers and sisters thank you for making websites like this this is very helpful i really appreciated it

i have a problem that i am sure you would help me insha allah

i have got married about three months ago. my wife is from another country, came on holidays for getting married, she was with me for nearly month, we alhamdu lillah enjoyed every moment we had.

but now she is gone to her country back and i am feeling very uncomfortable because i love her very much. i am very upset. i am having bad feelings like in good ways, like i have feeling of taking care of her but she is alright. i am talking to her everyday but still i have some bad feelings.

what do i have to do to get rid of these thoughts? and i dont want to upset her by telling her that and uncomfortable or something. i want you my brothers and sisters to help me please. it really hurts me. it is very difficult without her. i love her very much and please makes dua for me that may allah get us together again soon please.

zahid

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3 Responses »

  1. Assalaamu Alaykum,

    It's normal and natural to have these feelings, and I can definitely sympathize with what you're experiencing. The question is, what is the plan for you two to come together permanently?

    In situations like this, it is better for the spouses to make sacrifices to be with one another if possible. Is there any way you can live with her where she is, or her come to you where you are, at least until you are able to complete the long term plan for your living arrangements?

    If not, (and I do understand that is not always an option), then you have to do everything you can to stay connected. Text every day through apps like viber or whatsapp, and call when you are able (these apps do have calling features, though some work better than others). Skype when you are both free to do video sessions, as regularly as you can. Whenever there are funds to visit one another, do it.

    Long distance relationships are seriously hard, and even when you're doing everything you can to stay connected there is still so much time of missing and longing for each other. You can't make the pain go completely away, you can only make it easier as best you can. I'm sure she also struggles being away from you, and it's not uncommon that you both might have low points where you see things more negatively or start feeling insecure.

    Just keep talking and sharing and being open, and validate one another. You are a team, and you are going through this together. You are both on the same side and want the same thing in shaa Allah. Focus on your future and what you love about one another, and be generous with one another when it gets especially hard.

    I pray that Allah writes your unity soon, and may He strengthen you both until then.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Salaam Sahit,

    Thank you for sharing, but you did not tell us why she has to go back to her country or how long you both will stay separate. There is a different btw 4 months and 4 years Either way, if you are talking, you just have to be thankful to Allah and keep praying.. Have faith and when you get month together, it will be even better and you will appreciate her more.

    Hope this help.

    Waslaam,
    Amssa

  3. What your feeling is normal. Be very Patience and be very grateful to Allah you are married and Allah gave her to you. She will also be feeling the same as you and may never tell you because she may also not want to see you upset or sad. You will be together just be patience.

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