Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I think I like this person

muslim woman holding onto quran

There is a man from the department where I am learning language, we became friends almost one month ago. I am very much doubtful about this person coz he lies a lot about his residence, status and make false stories, I also doubt his education. By face he seems to be from a good family. He is handsome with a good physique, balanced features.

I think I like him but I don't know what to do because he is not that good enough, I mean during conversation he told me that he had an affair with a police officer and she asked him to lick her body etc and she used to abuse him and slap him too and therefore he left her.

And yesterday he said something "your neck is very good", I never wear low neck shirts but he said "why are you wearing this, you are showing me your body" and I was covered in a shawl underneath I was wearing t shirt. In the evening he sent me messages making jokes and then he said your neck is pretty, your body is lickable. I was shocked what he is saying. Now I am confused what to do as I don't want to lose him as a friend. I asked him to send his parents at my home coz this is the legal way which I know we both don't want to get married with each other.

He also prefer tall girls. I am very very short, he told me a lot of times he want to marry a tall girl which I don't mind. But as a friend I feel very comfortable with him and happy too. What should I do?

Lorelei Lee


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14 Responses »

  1. Simple, he just need you as a prostitute, as he will marry to a long girl. Do you not need a true and faithful guy like you?
    Dear sister, please don't waste your time with him.

  2. He is not good for you ..
    take care of gettig used to his advances, you will be statistics in his list of licked girls.
    Put limits and boundaries and protect yourself
    good luck

  3. OP: I don't want to lose him as a friend. I asked him to send his parents at my home coz this is the legal way which I know we both don't want to get married with each other...I am very much doubtful about this person coz he lies a lot about his residence, status and make false stories, I also doubt his education.....he said your neck is pretty, your body is lickable.

    He told you he wants to marry a taller girl. He likes your neck and thinks your body is lickable. Why you want his parents to come and see your parents if you both don't want to get married? One thing is clear he seems to have an obsession with licking female body. Is he close to your age? What exactly are you looking to get from this friendship?

  4. Salam,

    WHY do you even CONSIDER this guy a FRIEND??

    & WHY on earth would you even consider MARRYING him?? You have ALREADY seen how he is - there is nothing for you to be confused about, please STAY AWAY FROM HIM. Ask Allah to send you someone who is righteous with a good character AND that's goodlooking. He is not the only goodlooking guy on the planet - there are lots more that has deen as well. He is already criticizing you, that is NOT good sign. I pray that Allah blesses you with an awesome husband that will love and treat you with respect.

  5. As-salamu alaykum sister,

    Based on what you've described, I can see no reason for your interest in this man except that he is handsome. According to you, he lies, he is immoral, and he makes offensive statements.

    This man is entirely detestable. If this is the kind of man who makes you feel comfortable and happy, then you need to take a close look at your own values and priorities.

    I remember you saying that heaven for you would be an endless supply of Johnny Walker whiskey, so I can't say I'm surprised.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I remember you saying that heaven for you would be an endless supply of Johnny Walker whiskey, so I can't say I'm surprised.
      thats my own choice. at least i am not asking for 72 partners.
      the person is two faced sometimes he judge my character , investigate me and at other times he makes same dirty jokes and laugh i warned him if you would continue making such statements i would say something more bad to you
      and when i say something bad in return he gets angry instead he says i know you have done sex before. he is very superficial. you cannot guess what offends him but he is revengeful
      i think its a psychological problem and thanks for the advice.

      • I think you should just marry him. Your personalities seem compatible.

        Atleast you would be saving yourself from sin. This one may be golden for you. Allahu alem

  6. I think you are attracted to him sexually as you describe him as handsome . Sex is only thing in his mind so it seems he just want to have you in his life for brief period to enjoy sex and then say bye .

    I don't think it is good idea to talk to him or continue any communication with him .

  7. Why on earth would you even consider him as a friend ????? He sounds like a disgusting pervert!!!!
    How can you let him talk to you like that? He clearly doesn't respect you . Stop the communication with him!!!!!!

  8. Dear Lorelei Lee,

    Please don't learn language from him. Don't learn anything from this shallow man.

    Go somewhere appropriate and learn language. And please totally break friendship or socialising with this man or any other man till he is not your Mahram.

    And please don't consider such guys for marriage.

    Best wishes,

    Me.

  9. Asalam o alaikum,

    Sister, i think you are kinda girl that don't want to lose friends especially this one because he is handsome and this thing makes you feel proud of yourself that you found a handsome man on earth... That's why you like him. But try to make yourself understand that he is no good for you. Besides handsome, what else you found good about him? Nothing.

    Now make a list of bad things about him. There is a plenty of stuff for that list. So, leave him sis and cut all ties with him. Don't think that he will change or you can change him in future. Nothing will happen except that he will make your life miserable. He just wants a physical relation with you. He wants sex. If you gave him, he would leave you then and if you didn't then again he will leave you. In neither way, he is gonna leave you after some time. So what do you want from him? Just a time-pass relationship? I don't think you are such type of girl so just leave him. There is nothing good for you and you can't expect a change from him because he is not gonna change.

    Come back on right path. Read Surah baqarah translation, there are many answers for your situation. Whole Quran is there for your guidance. Recite dua "LA ILAHA ILLA ANTA SUBHANAKA INNI KUNTU MINADH-DHALIMIN" day and night. You'll feel better.

    Stay Blessed and pray for us.

  10. Salam

    This guy whosoever he is, the way you have described him sounds so Obnoxious !

    I mean why on earth have you asked him to get his parents at your home ? What an irony you want him as a friend and he wants to lick your neck. Is this what friendship is all about ? Astaghafirullah !

    And at first place why do you want him as a friend ?

    ( SVS bro i literally laugh and end up digesting my supper reading your wondrous comments. Superb bro ! Up to the point honest and from heart. May ALLAH bless you always. Ameen. Sum Ameen )

    Wa Salam

  11. Salam sister keep away the devil works in mysterious ways and he is always present.It is haram to talk or associate with opposite sex.There is no such thing as friends.If you continue you will lose because Allah you are going against Allah system!!!Understand this.That is why the muslims have somemany problems in the world because of disobedience especially praying 5 times a day that is obligatory .It is not a choice! If you want a good pious educated spouse then hang around the masjid get involve with workshops sisters program etc.......and put your trust in Allah and be patient because everything is a test in your life

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