Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I make istikhara about my boyfriend?

Posted by • May 16, 2014 • Printer-friendly

I just want to know, could someone do istikhara to see if they are going to marrying the person they are dating ? Before anyone jumps the gun and starts judging, I know it's haram to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in Islam. But this is just a curious question I would like to know.

My other half said he wants to do istikhara. At first I had a bad feeling and I did not want him to do it, only because I thought by him doing istikhara over a relationship that's haram. I had doubts and I think it will show negative signs/feelings. If we were in a halal relationship, it would show good signs/feelings.

After my other and I had this discussion,  Igot really worried and scared. So then I ended up praying istikhara. I've only prayed it three times so far. The first time I prayed it, I felt ok. The second time I prayed istikhara I felt relaxed, and now the third time I prayed istikhara I felt happy and the first thing that came to my mind and heart was "Allah wants me to marry this man, he's good for me".

Now I am confused because some people said it will come in my dreams and others said it will come as a feeling. Can someone please help me in this? Thank you.


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8 Responses »

  1. hawa yakubu
    June 14, 2014 • 11:43 am

    Sooo the person yu see would be yur husband r8t.....when I did that I saw a married man bt I love my boyfriend too

    Reply
  2. Wael
    June 14, 2014 • 7:32 pm

    As-salamu alaykum zuzu,

    There are many misconceptions about Salat-al-Istikhara. Some important points to note:

    1. Istikhara does not predict the future. Rather, it helps you choose a course of action when you are undecided.

    2. Istikhara is not based on birthdates or mother's names. I know you didn't mention that, but many people have that idea.

    3. The result of Istikhara is not dependent on a dream, or even a feeling. You might have a dream or feeling, but Istikhara does not depend on that. Instead, you pray Istikhara asking Allah to guide you to what is good and keep the bad away, and then you make the best choice you can, trusting that Allah is guding you.

    Here are a few articles about Salat-al-Istikhara from our website:

    Istikhara in the Light of the Sunnah

    Power of Salat-ul-Istikhara

    If anyone else has a question about Istikhara, please submit it as a separate post, rather than as a comment on this post. Even better, please read the many, many answers we have given to questions about Istikhara.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    Reply
  3. revert_sis
    June 16, 2014 • 4:49 am

    Salaam,
    I am a reverted sister and I was once in the same place like you.
    I had a Muslim boyfriend, and some months later I reverted to Islam. About one month after the shahadah, I started feeling guilty about having a boyfriend, and at about that time I got to know about Istikhara, alhamdulillah. So I prayed Istikhara without him knowing, about if he was good for me in this life and the next, and three days later after istikhara we broke up. Of course I was heartbroken, but slowly I took it as if I he was meant to be in my life for a short period of time so I could know about Islam.

    I have prayed Istikhara about different things, and I can tell you that for me, the answers I was looking for didn´t come in a dream, the answers came as events happening and therefore, taking me where I should go.

    Pray istikhara with a clean heart and having a full trust in Allah, and in sha Allah, he will show you the way.

    Reply
    • Akinwande Quazeem Abiola
      September 9, 2020 • 7:23 am

      Please how do someone do the istikhara. I meant the rakat to perform is how many? And also what Surah or Ayah should I recite? After the recitation, Is there any supplication I need to say after or before?
      At what time is the best for me to do it?
      Please help a brother, may Almighty Allah shower His blessings on you..

      Thanks sister

      Reply
  4. umou Yusef
    June 25, 2014 • 3:02 pm

    Salam,
    This is always the issue I don't understand, don't people know that there is nothing like dating in Islam or you just follow your desires and at the end of the day start asking Allah to put baraka in haraam

    Reply
  5. umou Yusef
    June 25, 2014 • 3:05 pm

    What I will advise you is to repent and make serious tauba and then ask for Allah's intervention... Allah is all forgive, wise

    Reply
  6. " class="url" rel="ugc external nofollow">rabiya
    April 2, 2015 • 11:34 am

    i am single and i have meet one boyfriend ilove him toomuch we both meet each other and i am confused that weather she is going to marry with me or not

    Reply

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