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I could not marry him in this world, can I do in Jannah?

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Who should you marry?

Dear Sister and brother in islam,

I was going to get married in 6 months as my parents delayed our wedding, so before us could get a good education and completely our degree.

we got engaged 2 years ago and both of us really deeply loved each other. However 1 month ago he passed away due to a motorbike accident. i was wondering if there is any way i could be his wife in jannat.

I know engagment does not count in islam. As i am from a pakistani family i know they will force me into marriage. However i truely loved this guy i knew him since i was a child. could i still be his wife in jannat and i know he really loved me too.

thank you.

asalaam alakim

- shabz


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81 Responses »

  1. May Allah swt forgive him and may Allah give u a good spouse

  2. Wa'alaykumsalam,

    May Allah forgive that brother.

    Since he's not your husband, and your relationship with him is nothing but as of a non-mahram (stranger), therefore your love for him may or may not count, and so you will be admitted to paradise only with your husband and kids if Allah wills.

    “Our Lord! And make them enter the ‘Adn (Eden) Paradise (everlasting Gardens) which you have promised them and to the righteous among their fathers, their wives, and their offspring! Verily, You are the All-Mighty, the All-Wise” (Ghaafir 40:8)

    “And those who believe and whose offspring follow them in Faith, - to them shall We join their offspring, and We shall not decrease the reward of their deeds in anything.” (al-Toor 52:21)

    “They and their wives will be in pleasant shade, reclining on thrones.” [Yaa-Seen 36:56]

    “Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness.” [al-Zukhruf 43:70]

    Your relationship with that late brother in the past two years is not lawful in Islam as both of you are non mahram to each other. The love which grew may or may not be true. Therefore, once we are admitted to paradise insha'Allah, all false desires, false loves, hatred, jealousy, envy, sorrows etc are vanished from our hearts. Allah is the most just King and His decree will be sufficient. In paradise, we will only have peace, happiness, pleasure etc.

    Therefore, its best for you to try to forget that late brother. Remember all the muslims, dead or alive in your dua'as. Have patience. Pray. Repent. Once you marry, be a righteous and dutiful wife and love your husband for in the end, you'll be with your husband in paradise as Allah told in the Qur'an and not with some stranger. Allah knows best.

    • Salamunalaikum,

      I have not read the below comments and maybe the answer is there but I just want to ask. The young man who passed away who was engaged to this young lady... may his soul rest in peace inshallah... what about him? He was not married when he passed away but he was promised to be married to this sister. So when they are both in Janaah, they will not be together? If she marries someone and has kids with them, then she will end up with her actual spouse and children? What if she does not love him and is forced to be with him? She will be with him in Janaah anyways? What about the young man who passed away, who will he be with in Janaah?

      I understand that we do not have all of the answers and we will have all of the answers in the afterlife inshallah but this breaks my heart!

      Thank you.

      • breaks my heart too , i loved this girl and she loved me too , i never touched her , and only wanted a halal wedding , but my parents refuse to ask her hand in marriage because i am still studying , she was engaged but i will love her till the day i die , and i will ask Allah if he wants to give me paradise , give me my love because she is my heaven

  3. Assalamualaikum sister shabz,

    The general understanding of the Ahlus Sunnah is that a person who dies will be united with his wife if both enter the Jannah. If she married more than once due to the death of her husband or divorce, she will be with her last husband.

    Allah Said:

    "Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness" [43:70]

    You should not worry about what you will get and who you will be with in Jannah. It is upon Allah. You should worry about how you will enter Jannah - the only way is to Please Allah. And if you do so, Allah Will Give the rest.

    You need not worry about what you will get in Jannah. You will get all you can aspire and even more. Our Lord Will Reveal His Blessed Face to us in sha Allah.

    Whether you be with him in Jannah or not, you will be pleased either way because you will have no room for any dissatisfaction in Jannah.

    If Allah never destined you to marry him, that was best for you, perhaps you will find better things in life. Pray to Allah that He Forgives him and move ahead. And most importantly, get married to another man, without worrying about whether you will see him in Jannah or not. Jannah is something no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no brain has imagined. What fiction can we watch and talk about? Jannah is much much beyond all of it. It Is Allah's Reward for His Servants, much more than what we deserve.

    So my advise for you is that you ask Allah's Forgiveness for him and marry another man who is pious and will help you Please Allah.

    Muhammad Waseem Editor

  4. i was wondering what happens to people who are divorced and then never get married again . do they still get reunited with their divorced wife or husband if they are admitted to jannah?

    • No, if they're divorced in this world, they aren't going to be re-united in Jannah. If they didn't marry after the divorce, then in Jannah, they can choose their spouse insha'Allah.

      “Therein you shall have (all) that your inner‑selves desire, and therein you shall have (all) for which you ask” [Fussilat 41:31]

      “(there will be) therein all that inner‑selves could desire, and all that eyes could delight in and you will abide therein forever” [al-Zukhruf 43:71]

      “Faces that day will be joyful – pleased with their striving – in a garden on high, where they shall hear no bad speech.”
      [al-Ghashiyah 88: 8-11] (bad speech equals insult falsehood, harm, immorality, pointless talk, etc.)
      “They will say, ‘Praise be to Allah who has removed from us (all) sorrow, for our Lord is indeed oft – forgiving, appreciative, who has settled us in the house of lasting residence out of His bounty. No toil nor sense of weariness shall touch us therein.’”
      [Fatir, 35: 34-35]

      • Salam sister! You know I really can understand you because I also want to enter in jannah with my cousin I got engaged with two years back, but now he refused to get marry with me and my parents want me to marry someone else and I have really short time,.. But I want only him as a husband in jannah,for me this duniya is nothing. I don't know is he a right man for me or not but what about my desires only ALLAH knows how much I prayed to enter jannah with him I wont be sad if I die the next moment of my Nikkah with him I want my name plate to be written as his wife on my grave...I prayed a lot and believe in miracles and I believe in ALLAH's power more than myself but in the end I'm a human and a daughter...I pray may ALLAH send him back as a blessing for me
        I m afraid of being mad cz I fear ALLAH too I don't want to be ungrateful of ALLAHs blessing as He's sending proposals now n I'm still waiting for his his late love to be awake but in the end I may repent cz I don't know will he come back or not

        • Sister, you are caught up in an inner fantasy that has no bearing on reality. He's just a guy like any other guy, and he's your cousin as well, which is an unhealthy match. Give it enough time without seeing him or having contact with him, and you will get over these feelings. This is an infatuation that results from spending too much time around someone.


        • M.a.D: I also want to enter in jannah with my cousin I got engaged with two years back, but now he refused to get marry with me.

          Why he is refusing to marry you?

        • Did he ever come back? Is ur love still the same?

        • As Salaam Alaikum

          Sister don't worry...
          If your cousin denies don't worry...I can understand the fix u r in... but i believe Allah will give u a perfect match in Jannah... he knows your heart's condition more than us or even u....

          One might not get perfect partners here but Jannah u will get what u desire...

  5. I have doubt over what is explained here by Mufti sb, because Allah will give you whatever you will ask for. And in Jannah there will be no if but and else. Please don't put it in a small canvas.

    This world is a jail for practising Muslims and if he/she does sabr and follow the right path, he/she will be awarded whatever he/she will ask for in Jannah. Allah wont let down him/her, if this sister makes dua for having someone she wants to be with in Jannah, I am dead sure My, Your and Her beloved Allah(SWT) will never ever disappoint her as this comes under " You will get whatever you will ask for". However she has to repent for whatever these two were upto without Nikah.

    Believe me Allah's mercy overpower his wrath. Allah keeps waiting for us to repent unless the last moment come. So ask for his forgiveness, love Allah and our beloved prophet (PBUH) as mentioned in Quran and Ahadith, obey your parents unless they ask for something haram. Inshallah you will not only get the Jannah but also get whatever you will ask for.

    • Dear Servant of Allah (SWT),

      I liked your answer and was wondering if you had answers to these questions. Please bare with me.

      1) If a woman was NEVER married in this worldly life, whom would she marry if she entered Paradise by Allah's mercy?

      a- Will she choose whichever man she wishes, even if he were a "Shaheedشهيد" (a martyr)?


      b- Will Allah choose a husband for her?


      c- Will a man from among the inhabitants of Paradise (from among Adam's progeny) ask her hand in marriage?


      d- Will Allah create a man specifically for her, like a male "Hoor حور"?

      2) What if she is allowed to choose a husband herself and so many UNMARRIED women wish to have the same man as a husband too, what happens then? I once heard that a man is allowed to have only two human wives.

      3) Will one's desires in the worldly life be the same if he/she enters Paradise? I mean, if an unmarried woman wishes to marry ONE PARTICULAR MAN in Paradise, will Allah truly grant her (her wish) or will her wish be lost and forgotten by entering Paradise?

      I look forward to receiving a reply.

      Thank you so much.

      • I don't see how anyone can answer these questions, as life in Jannah is part of the unseen realm, and we only know about Jannah what we have been told in Quran and Sunnah. Rather than worry about the relationship rules of Jannah, it's best to concentrate on living a righteous life in this dunya and striving to achieve Jannah in the first place, Insha'Allah.

        Wael Editor

        • I admit my questions sound silly, but the reason I'm asking all these questions is because I want to be certain about what will happen to women in Jannah as the Quran and the Sunnah don't clearly state the rewards of women, whereas the rewards of men are known. Perhaps men won't bother too much to ask questions because everything seems obvious to them; they are content having known what they are going to get. On the other hand, women worry about what they are going to be rewarded with because it is unknown ,that's why they keep asking these endless questions.

          I am afraid that in Jannah I might marry someone I used to dislike in Dunya, even if all the ill-feelings were removed, still I wouldn't want that to happen.

          Couldn't we Not have what we don't desire as well?

          • Don't worry about that. Allah knows what's best for you.

          • Salam Aray,

            What you will get in the afterlife is described here:
            and here:

            Provided you become either those of the right hand or the foremost.

            I don't see a gender limitation on these verses. In fact my understanding is that these rewards are meant for both us and Jinns. If anyone sees a gender limitation on these verses please point it out.

            Knowing that this is the reward it doesn't make sense that you would be married to someone you disliked in this world. In order for that to occur you would have to deny your reward, then purposely choose that which you disliked. Which you could if that's what you wanted to do.

            To answer your other question, not desiring what you don't want is desiring to avoid what you don't want which would still fall under you getting what you want.

            I hope this helps. Salam.

          • A woman is covered with shyness and Allah(sw) protects that shyness. Man is rewarded as he love and want and so is woman. Have TRUST in Allah (sw) he is just and rest assure if you get to jannah then you will get all that you want, and what you even didn't image...

  6. If you don't get married in this life, Can you be with the one you love in jannah?
    Also, how can you love someone by the sake of Allah? (please give examples!)
    Jazakallah khair

  7. Life is a sowing field to be reaped later in after-life. So one has to be extra-ordinary careful during each encounter. When one does not care, he has to pay for the consequences later in this life and also in hereafter. Some encounters are short and require immediate quick attention. Attraction between single couples or different married couples is one such example.

    Being married with your spouse in heaven is a reward of living together on earth according to the command of Allah and should not be viewed as an eternal punishment to be separate from your loved ones.

    Now we come to the case of two souls who want to marry each other but are separated forcibly by socio-economic pressure or some accident and have decided to respect the barrier to avoid fracture in the fabric of islamic society. How will such souls be related in heaven and what is their reward for being patient is known only to Allah.

    There exists a lot of spiritual attraction in contrast to the sexual one forcing the two souls to be together. Just like sexual pressure is released to lawful intercourse with your legitimate spouse. This spiritual pressure may be released by performing spiritual deeds like helping the needy, mediation, pray for the welfare of missed soul and many others. One has to strictly avoid rudeness and ego worship as these place further barrier between souls and also blocks the mercy of Allah.

    And Allah knows best.

  8. As Salam Alaikum, This past month my dear husband had an accident while working, which killed him. I was at home with our 3small children waiting on his return... But he didn't make it home. We were just restarting our lives as a family again, as work in the past had prevented us from being in the same city. So we were all excited about our new beginning. We all loved each other so much. So I am wondering if we can be husband and wife in Jannah? If later I remarry would that keep us from being able to be husband and wife in Jannah? All I want is to be reunited with my dear husband as we are only in our 30's...

    • Sister Tauheedah, wa alaykum as-salam. I'm very sorry to hear your loss. May Allah ease your pain and may He bless your departed husband with Jannah. Regarding your question, I do not know the answer, except that Jannah is a place where our wishes and dreams are fulfilled, Insha'Allah. You are only recently widowed, but when time has passed and you have recovered somewhat, I do think you should consider remarriage, for your own sake and for the sake of your children.

      Wael Editor

      • Jazakum Allahu Khair... But I was told that if I was ever to remarry, then I may not be able to have him in the next life...I didn't get to fulfill all that I had desired in marriage to him. I don't want to do anything to keep me from being his wife again in Jannah in sha Allah...

    • Actually you will receive greater reward from Allah by raising your children and not getting remarried until they are of an age where they can take care of themselves for the most part.

      May Allah ease your burden and grant you paradise for your hardships.

    • As Salaamu Alaykum Sister,
      Did you ever get a clear answer to your question? I have the same question so that is why I ask. Thank you.

  9. Assalam o Alaikum everyone.
    I'm also going through a very tough phase. I wanted to marry someone who went abroad for higher studies and getting settled there permanently. I won't say that our relationship was pure halal but we were sincere and loyal. He sent his parents last year to meet my family but there arose so many differences among our families. His family was ready but mine wasn't. I tried to convince my family and they asked me that we will decide once we meet the guy. An year passed, I changed myself a lot as a Muslim, I tried a lot to be patient, I stopped contacting him on my own as I realized I wasn't doing the right thing by displeasing Allah. Although I never ever lost my interest in him, but I only wanted to make myself a better Muslim and marry him in a pure halal way... I kept praying to Allah, I begged Him to make him and his family better for me and make him mine in a halal way.

    He came a month ago, he wanted to meet me outside before he could meet parents because we had one year gap between us. I didn't accept his requests and asked him to meet my parents. He came, met my family, everyone from my family was ready. He again asked me to meet outside but I rejected again. He had lost interest in marrying me because he thought I'm not the same person anymore. I called him and tried to make him understand (I said I would meet him as I thought meeting in public along with our friends, won't be any issue) he got back to normal and Gave me hopes that we will get married and there won't be any issue. Soon after I disconnected the call, I searched again and found that meeting in public even with friends is not allowed in ANY CASE. I told him again I won't meet because of this reason and he respected my decision. Two days after this, he told his family has rejected when my family was thinking there won't be any issue. I feel so bad in front of my family... As if I have lost my own self respect. I still believe that this all happened due to misunderstandings between both of us. I don't know what to do . I'm so depressed 🙁
    Can I get him in hereafter if we'll go to Jannah in shaa Allah ?? Because I left contacting him, and didn't meet him for the sake of Allah, now can I ask Allah to please reward me with him in jannah???

    • Assalam alaikum,

      I commend you for sticking by your decision for not meeting him privately. He absolutely and unequivocally should not have brought his family if he was going to reject you, especially because his family had already met your family. Most likely he is making an excuse because you didn't meet him alone and perhaps he feels you are different--and you probably are, but that doesn't mean it is negative.

      Accept what it is and even though it can be hard and difficult to understand, but let go of what isn't in your control. You should trust Allah's swt plans over your feelings as feelings change over time just as circumstances change as well.

      You want him for Jannah, but wanting particular things in Jannah is akin to expecting a fish to understand what it is like to live on land and breathe air without gills--Jannah is beyond our imagination and any doubts about not finding happiness and peace there are from shaitaan--shaitaan wants you to doubt Allah swt and not trust Him. If you have truly left this man, then wish the best for him, do the best for yourself and restore your faith in your Creator again.

      • But did I do the right thing? When he came and met my family, and my family agreed, I started having negative thoughts from shaitan 🙁 ..I thought now Allah has accepted my prayers and now we are going to get married easily. Instead of praying of getting married to him, I started praying that may everything happens with everyone's will and may all of us be happy (assuming that we will get married now). I thought I don't need to beg anymore because now Allah has turn the things in the way that we will get married... When two days later he told his family isn't satisfied, I again started begging Allah to make our halal relationship.
        Now I think that I made Allah angry by not begging him that day that's why everything turned out to be different 🙁 I'm feeling extremely sorry, I'm begging Allah to forgive me. Im not even sure if what I did was a sin or not 🙁 these thoughts are killing me from the inside 🙁

        • Allah swt knows the intention and desires of His slaves better than the slaves know - and as for the outcome, perhaps it is what is best, but now what you desired. Our desires are not always what is best.

          You did the right thing to not meet him. Don't ever regret that.

          As for having negative thoughts from shaitaan, no human can escape it, we can only learn to become good managers of those thoughts.

          I suggest that you take this as a lesson and move on in your life. There is so much in life than to get caught up on little misunderstandings that lead to big heartache.

          • But one thing is bugging me. During this time when I was trying to become a better Muslim, I used to hesitate telling him why I don't talk to him much, thinking how would he react but one day i told him why I'm not communicating with him. When he came here, he kept asking me to meet and once again, I hesitated in telling the actual reason why I can't meet him as I thought he would make fun of me, about how much I have changed, etc. But again I told him the actual reason of not meeting. Now the thing thats bugging me is "is ALLAH angry at me because I hesitated telling him the actual reason and I told him when I thought he won't leave me now?"

        • Dear Sister

          You appear to be uselessly double minded over many things.
          Firstly, Let us clear first the matter related to companionship in Jannah.You should not worry about that matter and leave that to the will of Allah instead of some mufti interpretation of some Hadith or Verse. Just focus on giving love to everyone related to you in a halal way like sun giving light to everyone on earth.

          Secondly, it appears that your potential partner had a longing for wife who can interact with other people normally regardless of their sex. Infact many people do interact with opposite sex in public and still do not cross the boundaries but that is something that should be avoided if one has doubts over his or her restraining capabilities.

          Thirdly, the thinking that your prayers wordings caused harms or some influence of Devil is merely superstitious. No need to think like that.

          Fourthly, start looking for another potential partner through parents or someone reliable and better tell them to look for a person who agrees with your philosophy of life.

          May Allah help you in all matters.

        • I think you went a little overboard in making sure the relationship was halal. Sure initially you two may have strayed but the main reason he wanted to marry you is because he thought you two could have a good relationship.

          So to prevent a haraam relationship you ask to cut off contact and officially ask for your hand in marriage. He listened to you and your side of the family said no, we want to see him in person. So then for a year you two do not maintain contact he doesn't know if you're the same person so before meeting with your parents he wants to see you in person. He wants to confirm that he's still getting the same woman that is interested in him as before. No point in asking your parents if you've fallen out of love, gotten severely obese, or have gone insane. But you denied this request on the basis of Islam. And the thing is, sure you may not meet with him one on one but you could've easily said yes and came with your father. And the other thing is, he's checking your reaction. If you care about him you should be dying to see him after a year. You should be removing obstacles from seeing him and instead you're saying you can't see him alone and that's it, you offer no alternatives.

          So even then he accepts your condition and says lets meet in public with friends. Again he wants to make sure the goods he's going to commit for life are the same goods he thinks they are before committing. If you say no, I can't even meet you in public, I can only let you evaluate me once you've committed to me then it creates a lot of suspicion as to why you are claiming Islam won't let you see him when it does. And this is marriage that's being discussed, if there's any time to see him it's now and you're refusing. So he said you're not the same person and ended it. He needs to see you love in your eyes and that you're crazy about him. Kinda like how you're showing you are on this forum. After that there probably would be a yes. Both your families are in agreement it's just down to you too and you don't want to meetup.

          If there is time now I would say contact him, apologize and be honest and open as to how you feel about him. Tell him that if you don't get him now you're hoping to get him in the afterlife. That's the kind of info he needs and then request to see him and bring a chaperone and see him in person.

          One thing I recommend considering. If it wasn't this guy and some other guy that came to ask for marriage. Would you refuse seeing him in person? If you would, I would say it's going to be difficult for you to get married. People don't really want to commit for life when they can't even talk to the person.

        • Yes you can ask for this.

          Sahih International
          For them therein is fruit, and for them is whatever they request [or wish]

          • As salaam walaikum i have a similar question where I wish to marry the girl I loved ... She married someone else due to parental pressure and she's not even happy.. I know I can't have her here until it's some kind of a miracle .. My only wish is to have her by my side in hereafter.. I will abide by everything I have to do here to get jannah.. I just want her there.. Plz tell me I can have her.. She said me the same before she left me .. That pray to Allah for us up there ... Plz tell me it's possible
            Jazak Allah khair

          • Zuheb, wake up and face reality. She married someone else. She is gone. Move on with your life and find someone else.


          • Salam Zuheb,

            Yes it is possible and you can use this to strive harder for Islam, but at the same time, should this no longer be a good reason for you I don't want you to give up on Islam. I recommend becoming a better Muslim and perhaps you will get someone like her but even better.

  10. Dear Sister Assalam-O-Alaikum!
    May Allah SWT help you to keep your Eeman High and make you pious.
    Sister First of all I would like to tell you that your Niyyah (Intention) what everything is about, Allah SWT is a best planner.. If Allah has written him as your Spouse No one can Separate you from him and If Allah SWT Hasn't written him for you Nothing can help you, so I request you keep your Faith high and keep Repenting for Jannah
    Dear Sister Istikhara Is the best way to help you..

    Jabir (R.A.) states that Prophet Mohammad (SAW.) taught them the Istikhara dua with such constancy and used to say that when a person is in any dilemma, he should perform two rakaats nawafil Salaat and thereafter recite the following dua:


    "O Allah, with Your knowledge I seek the good, with Your power I seek ability and Your mighty favour for certainly You have the power that I don't have, You know and I do not Know and You Know the unseen. O Allah, in Your knowledge if this work is good for me in this Duniya and the Akhirah (hereafter), then let it be for me, grant me blessings in it and if it is bad for me then keep it far away from me and grant me any destiny that will make me happy".

  11. My husband get die I don't want to married again bcoz I love my marhum husband to much he don't left for me nothing but I don't need also I tell my family they don't listen I got with my husband 2 son one is very small another is 5yrs old my family want I make married but I don't want to make married bcoz I love him to much I want to make work I want to look after my two children . I am 25yrs old what I do pls tell me I want to die his name not another name pls

    • Dear Sister
      You are 25 yr old and have a long life ahead. Think for a moment if you suddenly become ill or pass away, who will take care of your children.

      You need a partner in this world to take care of you and your children. I believe that your husband's soul will want you to be happy in any situation.

      So you should take time to heal your wound and start looking for a new partner for the sake of your children(if not for yourself).


      • Am 26 my husband died three years ago i have two son one 2 year and another one 5 year i love my husband very much can't forgot him everyone want to am getting married but am so dipress what should I do how can I get married with another man how can I give his place. My husband little brother want to married me he unmarried he want to take care of my kids. Please help me if I remarrige is my husband get upset with me because I give his place his brother. Please tell me what is right for me.

        • Yeaamin, there is nothing wrong with remarrying. It is not a betrayal of your husband, nor would he be upset with you. He has passed away, and he is dealing now with the trials or pleasures of the aakhirah. You are still here in this world, and you have a life to live.


        • Dear Sister

          I have a wife. If i am dying and leaving behind her with young kids, then my love and care for her will make me wish that someone else deserving her should take my place.

          This is because my wife is not my property but rather a spiritual part. She is only the property of first Allah and then her parents.

          In my opinion, whoever you marry with must not remind you of your late husband? This requires that you should not marry any cousin, friend or sibling of your husband. Of course if you fall in love with any one of them, then it is okay.

          • No am not fallen in love but my mother in law my husband big brother big sister they want to am marry her other brother because they want am living same family with my kids.

  12. Salam brothers and sisters...
    If he and she loves each other and they had tried their level best to make their parents agree for their wish and after all the struggle their parents do not accept at any condition without any solid reason behind the refusal, and then the lovers take decision of court marriage, is it lawful?

    • Dear Brother

      There is always some reason behind refusal of parents whether wise or not. The duty of young is to respect their decision whatever it is and try to convince them through a number of useful methods.

      I recommend that you outline the reasons of the girl's parents in a separate post along with full details of job so that people in this forum can help the both families reach a wise decision.

  13. Assalamu alaikum

    • Wa alaykum as-salam. Please register and submit your question as a separate post. I will give you a short answer right now, however: you must find the courage to refuse the arranged marriage to this man you do not like or respect. Your parents might be hurt or upset, but they will get over it. It's your life. You are the one who will be married to him, not them. It's your choice. Islam gave you the right of choice, so exercise it.

      Wael Editor

  14. i have been in a relationship since i was 14 years old, he left me and got married to somebody else, within a year he came back to me saying he is not happy with his marriage, and he wants to marry me. i was not able to move on in my life ever, our relationship has never been halal ever since we started the relation. till date he wants to marry me, and even i cannot think of marrying somebody else, because i have given myself to him. but my parents, knowing everything, do not wish to marry me off to him, because they say he has wronged me at a very early age, and has played with my life. also, he has a child with that wife, and his wife is not allowing him to marry me. please help, what should be my stand here

    • sameera, that man is playing you. He is never going to marry you. If he was going to marry you then he would have done so from the start. If he had sexual relations with you at that age then he is a criminal and a sexual predator. Your parents are absolutely right. If you were my daughter, I would honestly break his legs and arms.

      You should cut off all contact with this man forever.

      Wael Editor

      • I hv forgiven him for wat he has done to me..but today he is a changed man..i can see that he loves me..i hv tried to convince my he wants me to elope with him..i dont want to hurt my parnts by taking this step..but he is saying that Islam permits us to do dis now..that he spoke to the Aalim..he also said to secretly marry if u both cant live without each other..i want to marry him only with my parent's consemt..i have been the worst daughter and muslim..i cannot marry somebody else and spoil that person's really in a fix..

        • sameera, has this man left his wife? has he said he will divorce her to marry you or is he suggesting you secretly marry him as a second wife? how can you say he has changed? what part of this mans behaviour has shown this. I'm sorry to say but wael is right, this man is using you. he left you to marry someone else, he had child with her, he knew he could continue to take advantage of you if he came to you and told you he loved you and you have forgiven him and let him back in your life.
          he is suggesting marrying you and keeping it a secret. if he is so unhappy in his marriage why is he still with his wife and suggesting for you to elope and keep things a secret? can you not see this man has not changed.

  15. What is love? It is not duty, obligation or command. It is an attraction felt without any compulsion. Occasionaly a relation is born out of love and sometimes it causes a relation-ship. It is different for every person. Love is like a fire that extinguishes quickly in the heat of sex but burns gently like the flame of candle in the form of prayer. Occasionaly, it overwhelms like a storm and sometimes it blossoms to produce a flower(child). Love binds one strongly with his past and is the only thread keeping the parted one alive in heart.

    Love is mostly misused. Rather than becoming the reason for sex, it is consumed by it. Instead of strengthening a relation, it(extra martial) weakens it. Family love (wife and children) often turns into possesiveness(like property) instead of a responsibility.

    The most notable form of love is related to the memory of a lost or abandoned one. It is important because it is similar to the longing of a believer to unite with Allah under the guidance of religion. Just like the suffering of a believer helps him to grow spiritually, the sufferings of a lover are the test of his inner strength. Just like Allah expects to question us how much we have given His love(taking care) to others and most importantly our self(spiritual growth), if a lover does get to meet his lost one with the will of Allah in heaven he has to share about how much he has given love to his family.

    So one should keep giving love like light from a firefly because one day Heaven will be lit by it.

  16. As salaam Alaikum i have a similar question where I wish to marry the girl I loved ... She married someone else due to parental pressure and she's not even happy.. I know I can't have her here until it's some kind of a miracle .. My only wish is to have her by my side in hereafter.. I will abide by everything I have to do here to get jannah.. I just want her there.. Plz tell me I can have her.. She said me the same before she left me .. That pray to Allah for us up there ... Plz tell me it's possible GIVE ME VALID AND RELEVANT ANSWER CAUSE IT KILLS ME DAILY PLEASE HELP ME

    Jazak Allah khair

    • Suhaib, wa alaykum as-salam. If the girl was forced - meaning she did not consent - then the marriage is invalid. But if she consented (even under emotional pressure) then her marriage is valid and she is now someone else's wife. In that case, you should cut off all contact with her. Do your best to stop obsessing over her. See a counselor, move on with your life. Eventually you will get over her and can marry someone else Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor


  17. There are many sunni women who ask questions and worry about why it says in Islam (namely their hadith) that women will be forced to stay with their spouse in Paradise while it's different for their husbands. It's easy to denounce the Hadith but when it comes to verses..

    13:23 - Gardens of perpetual residence; they will enter them with whoever were righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying],

    43:70 - Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness.

    Sunnis use these verses to support their Hadith which claim that women will be stuck with their worldly husbands in Paradise, devoid of choice. And they quote the following verse to 'prove' that if a wife does not wish to be with her worldly husband, her negative feelings will be removed in Heaven so she wouldn't mind being with him there even though she didn't want to. Isn't that false happiness?

    7:43 - And We remove whatever rancour may be in their hearts. Rivers flow beneath them. And they say: The praise to Allah, Who hath guided us to this. We could not truly have been led aright if Allah had not guided us. Verily the messengers of our Lord did bring the Truth. And it is cried unto them: This is the Garden. Ye inherit it for what ye used to do.

    Does that mean that couples that were together in this world, will be stuck in together in Jannah too? What if one of them does not want to be with their earthly spouse? Perhaps because he/she doesn't love the other, or they are in the marriage due to cultural reasons? There are many women and even men who are forced into marriages, who live in loveless marriages or just have feelings for someone else.
    Of course the Hadith always seem to be favoring men in this case and their "desires". But after reading the Quran's verses, it's a bit confusing. Will there be a choice? People say that there are limits to when God says that we can "have whatever we desire/want" (16:31, 25:16, 41:31, 43:71). This is without including the obvious murdering, stealing etc.

    I'm not sure how to respond to women when they come up with these questions and this whole "huri" and "spouse" topic seems to come up more often than what people would think.

    The Hadith:
    The Prophet, said: “The woman will be for her last husband in Paradise.” [Al-Albaani]

    As you probably already know, there are other Hadith too which indicate that women will be with their worldly husbands in Paradise whether they want to or not. I just want to understand the Qur'an's verses that sunnis use to support this.

    I've also seen one man use this verse to justify the "rewards for men".

    3:14 - "Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allah has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers, etc.) with Him."

    • Dear Brother

      Love is not a single event (nikkah time) but a series of events involving a periodic falling in and out of emotional ties. A married life is thus not the end but rather a series of trials meant to test the sincerity, honesty and willingness of the couple to remain intact.

      For a male(being more mature), responsibility of marriage is similar to helping your wife to cross the river of life in his boat(Nikkah Contract). During the journey, one will inevitably come to know whether his partner was forced with him or not. But in the end, the thing that matters the most is the safe completion of journey not who ends up with who.

  18. Asalmoalikum... i am 15yrs old... i wanted to ask that i love a celebrity but i mean nothing to him nor my family knows him... i also know that it is impossible to marry him or meet him... but can i be with him Jannah?? What if he is in Jahannam?? Can i save him from the Azaab?

    • Sister Salwa, this is just a crush or infatuation. It will pass in time. Real love is based on two people knowing each other and giving each other mutual respect, compassion, and care.

      Wael Editor

  19. May Allah(sw) grant him and umat muhammed (saw) janatal firdou amen.

    Sister in Jannah you will be with the one you love regardless of who you marry here. Laws of jannah are different and unimanageble, so have faith. Allah is GRATEST...

    Having said that, you should know that true love comes when you marry and leave with someone. It takes years to build.
    Allah (sw) has a different plan for you so be radhi (accept) and have faith. E.g. Look at sadiat Khadija (ra), she found the best spouse in her 3rd marriage. And many more...

    Every thing in janah is pleasing and satisfiying to all... how can it not be?

  20. Asalaam'ualaikum,

    Can one be alone in jannah? Must one be exposed to others? Is it a society? Must we have companions for all Eternity? Do we meet new friends?

    Allah swt is enough for me in this world and the next...insha'allah !


    • FYI I deleted all your other comments because they were hostile and insulting. I'm seeing a lot of that lately, not only from you but from others as well. In any case, it's not welcome on this website.

      Wael Editor

  21. Well i have a question and no where on google i can find it, i speak good english and yes i am a muslim. I was wondering, i dont know if someone else in the world might have the same feelings as me, but i am a male and no matter what girl i see on this Earth, their is no other girl more pretty than this one girl from an anime i have watched countless times. What i am trying to say is i am not married right now and i was wondering what future will unfold, because in Jannah 100% i want to be with this girl from the anime, her name is Morishima Senpai and just by the type of hair, looks and personalty she has in the show its amanzing to me, their is no other than her i would like. Will it be possiable to achive her in Jannah? even if she is not a real person. Also no i am not married atm, only 18. If you're wondering what see looks like, google her. Her name is Morishima Senpai. She is from Amagami SS and Amagami SS+

    • Brother, you need to stop watching that anime and all anime, in my opinion. It is twisting your thinking. You are in love with someone who is not real, and does not even resemble a human being. I'm concerned that if you do not reverse this twisted thinking, you will have great difficult relating to a real woman, who I guarantee will not resemble an anime character in any way.


      • Well what i am trying to say is her looks, i have seen many different woman and their faces and different hair styles, just as a man would prefer a woman with short hair or long hair. This woman from the show looks awesome to me, i dont understand why its bad to think of a girl that would look like her and maybe have the same personalty. Its said in the Quran that "And for you in Jannah is whatever your heart's desire" (Surah HamMim as-Sajah, Verse 31) i wont have a problem in this world if i can achive her in the after life. If theirs any more that you guys need to understand ill be mroe than happy to try to explain. Thank you.

      • Also by saying that someone is not real, If i were in Jannah and i asked Allah SWT if i could have Morishima Senpai as a wife in Jannah, he could easily create her in an instant with nothing stoping Allah SWT. So i would assume by saying that someone that is not real is not ture because Allah SWT can easily create her if he wanted to grant me that in Jannah.

        • That stuff you're saying is pretty true. Since it is Allah, maybe she's already there and you just have to work hard to make sure you get there.

          As a side note, you would refer to her as Haruka after marriage. Morishima is her last name and in that culture last names are used until you are closer to the person. Senpai is used for older and since her fictional age is 17-18 and you're 18 she's not really your Senpai :). Also Senpai is not her name at all.

          • I am surprised u actually already knew her or u have looked it up, u are a good person, thank you for the tips and thank you for making me happy haha. Ill be back here if i have more questions.

          • Salam Someone1,

            I looked her up. Thanks for the compliment, I hope you get what you want in your afterlife. Salam.

          • You are very kind and understanding person. You deal with the Muslim brother with great wisdom

    • Salam,

      I think this would be possible. You're just asking for someone to look like her and her personality so I don't see why that would be difficult in the afterlife. One thing I would say though, once you actually meet someone you like in real life you will actually like her more than this girl. 2D anime offers a certain level of resolution and seeing someone you like 3D offers a greater level of resolution and appreciation.

      Anime and video games are substitutes for real friends and help people cope with loneliness. I'm not saying that's a bad thing because if you cut off those while you have no friends you will feel the effects of depression. I'm saying you should try to make more friends as you cannot interact with these characters and they're not real. Make good friends and talk with them, live your life instead of watching those anime characters live theirs.

      • Its just a character that i like her from the looks. I was just wondering if it would be possiable to have her in the after life thats all i am trying to ask for is the knowelge of knowing i can have her 100% in the afterlife or not. Its not that i am addicted to anything or sad but only because her looks and just the way she acts i find very attractive. The looks she has and her body is just awesome to me. Just as if someone had a model with a very sexy body as a wife. Same thing. Out of the models on TV and the most sexiest woman alive today i would still prefer a girl that would look most attractive to me. 1 more thing, what will happen if i just dont find a woman that will look attractive to me when the time of marriage comes? Do i have a choice of not to marry someone and just wait for Jannah?

        • Salam,

          I don't think the looks thing will be a problem int he afterlife. Also, if you want your world in 2D over there I'm sure you could ask and be an anime character yourself. It could just be a way to filter what your eyes would see.

          I think if you're not going to find the girl attractive then you shouldn't marry her. It's not like getting a goat that you just tie up after it's done grazing. You have to talk to her, be positive with her, appreciate her, make her feel special, and love her. If you're thinking your best is going to be goat treatment then please don't marry her and I don't think you'd have to.

          • Well 2D is a thing but i meen as in she can be in a 3D form as well. Just by thinking and having an image as Haruka as my wife makes me extremely happy. I have patience to wait untill the day i enter Jannah, ever sence i have decided and thought about Haruka as a wife, i have NEVER missed a prayer. Every time i go into sujood when i pray i cry EVERYTIME asking for forgiveness from Allah SWT and to enter Jannah. Even as i reread this post to make sure everything makes sence and everything is spelled correctly i cry because how hard i try ever day to make Allah SWT be pleased with me so that i may enter Jannah. Also when i googled sujood to make sure it was spelled correctly i clicked on images and that made me cry even more. Thanks for the talk ill be back here if i have any questions. I most likely will.

  22. As i researched and what i have understood that from According to Quran and Sahih hadid.
    Specifically marriage in jannah or you can say who will be your spouse in jannah?

    1. if a man and women get married and they will live together until death in sha ALLAH they will be meet in jannah or they will be married in jannah.

    2. If a man marry a women but unfortunately the man died but after his death the women won't marry anyone else then they will meet in jannah in sha ALLAH.

    3. if a man marry a women and then he divorced that women and and the man marry another women but the women won't marry anyone else then the man will get both of them in jannah in sha ALLAH.

    4. if a man marry a women and then the man divorced her and then the women will marry with someone else but the man didt marry any women then the man will get hoors and the women will get her current or last husband in jannah in sha ALLAH..

    5. if a man marry a women then the man died or give divorce the women, after that the women will marry with someone else but again get divorced or the husband dies then, if again the women marry with someone else then in the akhirah the women will be asked for choosing between those men's and the women will choose that men who's takwa was good in the duniya in sha ALLAH.

    there is no such thing mentioned about lovers who loves each other truly will meet in jannah without marriage.
    In islam only marriage is the fact. either successful or not.. the rest ALLAH knows better.

    • Salam Rashid,

      Can you provide references that show how you came up with this conclusion?

      There are multiple issues I see with this. There are married couples that are just surviving their relationship for the sake of the kids. For them to then be married forever in the afterlife isn't something that would be a reward for them.

      In other relationships, one person is very happy and the other person is very patient. The happy person would love to have the patient person forever but the patient one would rather have someone else.

      There are women that are widows that have remarried a lesser man for the sake of their children. They aren't as happy with their second husband as they were with their first, will they now never get to marry their first husband? Should they have given up the children so that they could keep their first husband?

      There is a limit to compatibility in the spouses we get in this life. The spouses here help make one righteous because they are not as compatible and make use grow. Why would it make sense to get a less compatible spouse forever?

      Anyway, I could keep going on with this so I'm really interested in the references you have.

  23. Dear sister Alhamdullah you are Muslim may Allah grant jannah to your Cousin Aamin
    As a Muslim you should belive in Almighty Allah who loves you more then 70 mom did U think what have U xpected from Allah he will not do that inshaaAllah he will bcux Almighty Allah can do every thing and he will help you inshaaAllah just makE ur belive and faith strong on him and inshaaAllah you will get what you want in jannah its impossible for me and you but not for the Almighty Allah the creator the lord he will fulfil your desire inshaaAllah

  24. Assalaamu alaikum Sister.

    Don't know what to say.
    But nothing is impossible with Allaah.
    May Allaah grant you the best and restore your Peace in your heart.

  25. Sister, remember that Allah is the one who created your loved one and He knows what your heart will desire. You are in love with what Allah created. Do you think that He cannot create another one which you will love more? I am not saying that He will not grants your desire, Subhanallah only He knows, but He has the power to do so and your question is pointless because we are given very little knowledge to answer your question. If Allah wants something, who is there to prevent? But also remember that the life is this world is delusion of enjoyment. It's like a dream. Can you truly fall in love in your dreams? Of course no. We will enjoy true love in the Achirat inshallah.

    I know how you feel, believe me. I went through something similar. And Allah is surely Most Bountiful. Hasn't He already given us so many things even to the disbelievers? Our Lord is like this. Do you think that Allah, our Most Merciful Lord, would reward you in Jannah by forcing you to marry someone you don't desire? Relax. He knows what you don't know. Even about yourself. He created him. He created you. He knows His creature. He knows what we want.

    Please move on with your life and trust in your Lord.

  26. Salaam

    Dear brother and sister

    Im in love with a guy who is married and has 3 kids I know he loves me too just wanted to know cant I marry him in jannah if im not doing any haraam things with him im too attached with him please help me

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