Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I want to marry a non- muslim girl

Hindu temple in Sri Lanka

I want to marry Hindu girl. We are in love with each other, and she wants to become a muslim from the heart and accepts to do namaz, roja, learn quran; but refuses to eat beef.

Iis it good or a sin? Please tell me, as no one is accepting this from my or her family. At last I thought to fly away with her and move her to a muslim community, and after that I would do nikaah with her.

-sahazada

Advertisements

Tagged as: , , ,

9 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    If she wants to convert, then she should. It should be something she does because she wants to- whether you marry her or not. I would have to question, though, if she is interested in becoming Muslim why she would continue not to eat beef- as Allah said this is permissible as long as it is zabiha meat. It seems to me that there are parts of her that are still trying to hang on to her Hindu identity.

    Even if she does convert, I generally suggest that people wait several more months before marrying. There needs to be adequate time to show that the person converted for the right reasons and what kind of Muslim they will be.

    In addition, your families not being accepting needs to be taken into consideration. What are the concerns of your parents? How would you feel marrying someone and not having any outside support when things get rough? Honestly, it seems like you are allowing your emotions to help you decide what to do, when your mind needs to be clear to make the right decision. Decisions made in emotions tend to have serious consequences after some time passes.

    -Amy

    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    If she truly believes in Islam, wishes to revert and to practise Islam, then Alhamdulillah, she should do so without delay.

    The two of you will need to ensure any interactions between you are in accordance with Islamic guidance, so no private or intimate contact, etc. - you should also repent for the transgressions that have already occurred.

    It's worrying that both of your families are opposed - it might help to find out why, and how strongly? Are they opposed for reasons that can be addressed, after which they might be supportive? Or are they saying they would cut off all ties if you went ahead? Family is important, so I would urge you both not to discard family for a relationship which may not work out, without at least trying to address the concerns they have.

    Not eating beef isn't a deal-breaker in itself - for example, I am not particularly keen on the taste of beef, so prefer not to eat it on that basis. Other people may have ethical concerns about how the livestock are cared for, and so avoid eating a type of meat on that basis. Why not ask her about this choice and why she has come to her decision?

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  3. Don't run away by ruining the girls life and the reputation of her family. DON'T make promises if you cant keep them for example you want to keep her in the Muslim community then have no intentions of marrying her!!

    If you are serious in marrying her DO it the right way even if parents are not accepting keep fighting for her. If your parents still don't accept then best THING to do is cut all ties and marry someone else in your own faith.

    That's my honest opinion in WHAT YOU SHOULD DO.

  4. for a hindu woman it is wrong to marry beneath her - because her children will be ruined.

    a hindu man can marry beneath him because the children take the fathers name

    she will ruin her life and her children's live by marrying you

    there is no coversion to hindu, so you cannot become hindu nor will you ever be accepted as one. you cannot change your birth and your nature.

    let her go

    • @Ben

      Are you a Hindu?

      • no i am not hindu. i am a buddhist.

        most hindu/muslims marriages, actually all, have ended in divorce and terrible family fights...

        yes beneath means of low birth, by hindu definition muslims are of low birth. for example a human birth is a high birth and born as an animal is a low birth in the cycle of birth and death.

        if this girl marries muslims it is because her attachment to lower material nature is very strong, so she falls from her high birth position

      • no i am not hindu. i am a buddhist.

        most hindu/muslims marriages, actually all, have ended in divorce and terrible family fights...

        yes beneath means of low birth, by hindu definition muslims are of low birth. for example a human birth is a high birth and born as an animal is a low birth in the cycle of birth and death.

        if this girl marries muslims it is because her attachment to lower material nature is very strong, so she falls from her high birth position

    • @ben: I am from hindu family and I don't even get what you are trying to say. There is supposed to be no beneath and above. Only piety and tawwakul in the eyes of Allah are supposed to be the conditions for the rank of a person

      Never mind, I think the Op's question is a very common phenomenon in India. Muslim guy is in love with a hindu girl. They want to marry and he expects her to convert without bothering whether it is for the sake of Allah SWT or not.
      Dear brother shahazada, what you and the girl need to do right now is seperate if you really love and want to marry and stay happy. She is supposed to learn about Islam and take her shahada if she truly believes in Allah and His messenger. InshaAllah if she accepts Islam and practices because she wants to and not because she can get to marry you, then only its a good thing and will lead to long term bliss in marriage inshaAllah. I strongly recommend that if she does convert than you separate for the sake of Allah SWT and do istikhara and go ahead for marriage when the time is right. Till then keep no contact because its forbidden in Islam to have a relationship before marriage.
      But as that ship has sailed, the good part is its still not late for you to rectify this mistake and repent and hope the best from Allah SWT. How can you be pleased when the Creator is displeased with you?

      I know a scenarios where a muslim guy married a hindu girl, she converted and even practiced islam but after marriage the guy cheated on her even after they had a lovely daughter. She left him and even stopped practicing Islam. The tragedy was their poor little girl asked my friend who is her aunt, how to pray, with the hands closed or spread out. SubhanAllah. May Allah protect her!ameen

      Believe me brother, haraam relationshipsrarely go well and the worst casualty is that the deen of Allah takes the backseat. Its a recipe for disaster. Try your best to abide by Allah's law and pray for what is best for both you and her if you truly love her

      May Allah guide you to what is good! Ameen

      • I meant to say both muslim guy and hindu girl love each other. It goes both way and eating beef is not a huge or necessarily worrying factor. Many hindus consume beef. As a former hindu, I used to myself, even when I didn't even find Islam
        Its not because I wasn't devout to my religion. It may just be a culturally influenced choice. Depends on person to person

Leave a Response