Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My wife can’t have children

Dear brothers and sisters, I am writing this with tears in my eyes. I am 32 and My wife just turned 50( yes I know, she older than I am) She accepted Islam in 2015 and she is a good wife. I know she wants to be the mother of my children but She can not have children. I want to be a father so bad and have my own children. My wife was okay with the idaa of getting a second wife at first but then changed her mind later. It breaks my heart to see her crying but I want to be a father and raise kids and hear the word dad. Please advice me on what to do for I have been depressed in the last 8 months.

jamalos

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4 Responses »

  1. Salamu alaykum,

    Dear brother in islam,

    Why don’t you adopt children? You can raise them as your own and you will be rewarded because Allah SWT loves people who raises children who don’t have parents.
    Taking a second wife just to have kids is something you should think about.

  2. If you married an older woman and she knew you wanted children, then she should accept her circumstances -- and the strong possibility you will marry another woman so you can have children. After 40 or so most women stop being able to have children. Actually, by the time most women are 45 they do not even want to have children, care for very small babies and manage a household with children. If you married her recently, she is being quite unfair, especially if you have stated you want to have children. She should not deprive you of having children.

    Your wife is a full grown woman. She agreed to you having another wife and then changed her mind? You do have quite a dilemma. While I would not tell you to divorce your wife, there is a strong possibility you may eventually do that. In ten years your wife will be 60. You will be only 42. That is even a greater difference of age at that point. And even at 42, many men are still having children, especially if their wife is younger than 40.

  3. Umm Hussain,
    He was a grown up man on the time of the marriage! He should know too there could be a problem to having a child! (I guess he married for the stay in the country where he was......I dont say he didnt learn to love his wife, but he should think the fact before married too
    to Jamalos
    I respect at least you asked your wife about the second marriage. But why doesnt y ouconsider for adoption or get a medical help for the pregnancy?
    In my country 51 years old (well known)woman got pregnant naturaly with her forst child and gave a birth to a beautiful little girl.... so nothing unpossible!

  4. Salam brother
    If you and your wife want a baby why don't you go with the IVF process or adopt a child.... 2nd marriage is not a option. You both can live a happily life INSHALLAH

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