Past of lies
Salam to all, alhumdililah I have become closer to my deen. When I was younger I was a liar, i would lie to make my life sound better than it really was. I take full responsibility and my heart and my mind ache for what I have done. Every prayer I make duaa for Allah to forgive and conceal my horrid mistakes, but I am afraid these lies will haunt my future.
I read that I should repent, and always repent and forget the worries I have. Sort of a "we will cross the bridge when we get there" ordeal. But I cannot shake these mistakes, although they were some time ago and I stopped I have not repented until very recent. I am afraid that these recent thoughts of my past are wiswaas, as I just want to create a stronger relationship with Allah.
I have slowly been remembering all my mistakes and it shakes me to my core, is that a part of repentance? Does anyone have any tips or insight into whether Allah forgives a liar?
I have read that if one boasts about their mistakes that Allah does not forgive, I was jahla and I want to move on and live a pious life insha'Allah. I want to separate myself for those who I have lied to, I ask Allah forgiveness but should I also ask for Allah to let them forgive me as well? As I know I should not confess what I have done as being untrue.
I am a disgusting person and I want to clear my mind and my soul of everything I did as a youth, I sometimes feel like a revert although I was born into a very religious family. I have disappointed myself, my family and most importantly Allah.
~Repent for all
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Dear sister/brother,
The reality is, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes in life and the most wonderful thing about Islam is that our creator is very forgiving and merciful.
I think you are holding on to your past and continue feeling really bad for things you either did or said and that is why you continue to feel the way you do.
Let go of your past and begin a new day. If you don't, you will ultimately affect your health and well being.
You my dear are not disgusting...you messed up and made some poor choices. I think instead of focusing on your past and where you have been, your time would be better spent looking forward to a bright future.
Allah is forgiving and you have repented for your sins. Move forward and be at peace with yourself. Know that Allah loves you and also know that he is aware of your struggles and has helped to bring you to the place where you are now.
Salam
Salam brother/sister Alhamdullah that Allah has given you an opportunity to repent I feel that the shaitan whispers are preventing you from living your life to the fullest to please Allah by distracting you in this way I would advise you to read surah Fatiha with utmost sincerely at seriously reflecting on its meaning this helped me hugely with my peace of mind .Do pray with devotion and don't despair there are also many Duas to help you overcome these negative thoughts May Allah help you In all your worries.Ameen
Assalam o alikum sister/brother,
"Allaah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will Allaah turn in mercy: for Allaah is full of knowledge and wisdom. Of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil, until Death faces one of them, and he says, "Now have I repented indeed;"..."
Surah An-Nisaa 4:17-18
"O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance: in the hope that your Lord will remove from your ills and admit you to Gardens beneath which Rivers flow..."
Surah At-Tahrim 66:8
"O you who believe! Fear Allaah and be with those who are true (in word and deed)."
Surah At-Tawbah 9:119
You feeling bad about your past sins is a sign from Allaah (swt). You have a coincience and you can decipher right from wrong. Ask Allaah (swt) for forgivness and dont lie anymore. Change your bahavior and strive to become a better Muslim InshaAllaah. Keep up with your 5 daily prayers, read Qur'an, do good deeds (help out around the house, get involved with alocal Masjid, surround yourself with good Muslim family and friends etc).
Aknowledge the blessings from Allaah:
"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allaah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find satisfaction. For those who believe and work righteousness, is (every) blessedness, and a beautiful place of (final) return."
Surah Al-Ra'd 13:28-29
InshaAllaah you'll find peace and blessings.
Allaah knows best!
Khuda Hafiz
Sister Hafsah
As salamu alaykum,
You have received already excellent replies, Alhamdulillah, Welcome back to the Straight Path. But please don´t be cruel to yourself, do your tawbah sincerely, ask Allah(swt) to forgive you and help you to be forgiven by yourself and the others and bless the rest of the world with your best, insha´Allah, and with this I mean the straight, strong believer you are called to be, insha´Allah. Learn about our beloved Prophet Muhammad(saw) get closer to Allah(swt) through your salat, your dua, reading the Quran, the Sunnah, and leave behind those shadows that were once over you. There is a special reading, the Names and the Attributes of Allah(swt), learn them, one a week, go deep in His Attributes.
Once we acknowledge our weakness, the next step is to repent, not to commit the sin again and get rid of it. How? Little by little, insha´Allah, following all the steps that will take and keep you to and on the Straight Path.
All of this will help you, insha´Allah to feel the blessings inside and around you.
I add some links that may help you, insha´Allah.
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/how-can-i-overcome-my-thoughts-and-go-near-to-allah/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/how-do-i-repent/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/tawbah-in-islam/its-not-over-til-the-trumpets-blown-tawbah-and-repentance/
Wasalam,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor