Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How to perform Rukhsati in an islamic way

As-Salāmu `Alaykum,

nikah, marriage, pakistani, indian

As a recent revert to Islam and to further my knowledge I have a question in relation to Rukhsati in Islam. I have attended many Muslim (primarily Pakistani) weddings where this event is glamorised and adorned with music, non-Islamic attire and the Western-attributed culture.

I understand that Rukhsati is a cultural 'must in some societies' and my question is how can this day be performed in the most Islamic way possible?

Are there any Hadiths or guidances in the Quran that can shed some light on this? From holding the Quran above the head, the bride wearing a specific red dress and throwing rice behind her, video films and photographs - surely these things are frowned upon and derived from other countries and their cultures?

If these traditions have been simply passed down through generations with the passage of time, surely it's up to us (now better educated Muslims) to educate our families and society at large?

I welcome any Islamic citations and personal viewpoints.

JazakAllah Khayr.

-slackware

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2 Responses »

  1. Salaam slackware.

    Ruksati:
    3. Rukhsati: Literally it means “sending off”. This term is used in Indio-Pakistan area. In Shari’ah it is called “Zifaf”. In Arab countries it is commonly called “Dukhul” or “Dukhlah”. It means the consummation of marriage. Now the spouses can be alone and can have their intimate conjugal relations. Rukhsati takes place after the Nikah. After Rukhsati the spouses begin living together as husband and wife. In most cases the Rukhsati takes place within a few hours after Nikah, but sometimes families postpone the consummation of marriage or Rukhsati for a later time. They may do it for various social or personal reasons. Sometimes the consummation is delayed because the family wants to have a big party to invite many relatives and friends to celebrate their marriage. Sometimes couple decide to delay consummation because one or both spouses want to finish their studies or would like to make better arrangement for their residence etc. There could be many reasons for the postponement of consummation and it could be for few months or years. This is permissible in Islam.
    http://www.zawaj.com/articles/marriage_terms.html

    What I do know is holding the Quran over the head etc, red dress and so on are not from islam. These are cultural. I do not know for sure if they are frowned upon it depends where it originates and if it constitutes shirk or a sin etc. What I do know is it is a celebration and different cultures do it different ways - different dresses etc and food which is fine but we must stick to the limits ALlah swt has set.

    So no free mixing. It should be segregated. This is better for the women too as we can let our hair down and enjoy ourselves a bit. However the women should avoid engaging in haraam while preparing for the wedding. Cover up any wedding clothes which are flashy/revealing on the journey in until you are with women only. Avoid perfume etc except in that section.

    Drums and singing is permitted (if the men can't hear it) but music is not. Some say that photography and videos are unislamic so I think theres a debate on this, if an editor could comment on the validity of that then it would be great InshaAllah.

    I think the problem with these customs is not the actual customs but how people view it as necessary for a wedding and nikah. Its not necessary, and while cultural traditions are ok, we should place too much importance on them. Islam must come first. Another problem is imitating other cultures. Some say pakistani weddings are too much like hindu weddings (Allahu A'lam) I am not learned on these matters but personally I wouldnt want one for myself. 🙂

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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