Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I had sex with my boyfriend during Ramadan and I want to repent

stairs door to heaven hell

I had sexual intercourse with my boyfriend in Ramadan, while I had my period.
I understand that what I have done, which is that I had premarital sex, is haraam, and that because it was also while I had my period when I am unclean, it is double haraam, and also in the holy month of Ramadan when I am supposed to stay clear of these types of things.

My question is, what do I do now?

Regardless of being in a haraam relationship, please take this out of the equation.

I want to repent. I know that I have to ask Allah(swt) for forgiveness and that I should not indudge in what I did anymore. I heard also I have to feed 60 peopple who are poor or fast for 2 months - is this correct?

What do I do in order to repent (a) for having sex in the day of ramadan and (b) for having sex during my period?

- Lost 1990

 


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104 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    Here is the best info I could find to answer your specific questions. For the issue of having intercourse while fasting during Ramadan:

    “Whilst we were sitting with the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a man came to him and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, I am doomed!’ He said, ‘What is the matter with you?’ He said, ‘I had intercourse with my wife whilst I was fasting.’ The Messenger of Allaah said, ‘Do you have a slave whom you could set free?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Can you fast for two consecutive months?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Do you have the wherewithal to feed sixty poor people?’ He said, ‘No.' The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) fell silent. Whilst we were (sitting) like that, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was brought a container of dates. He said, ‘Where is the one who was asking?’ The man said, ‘I (am here).’ He said, ‘Take these and give them in charity.’ The man said, ‘Who is poorer than I, O Messenger of Allah? There is no household between the two lava fields (i.e., in Madeenah) that is poorer than my household.’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) smiled until his back teeth could be seen, then he said: ‘Feed it to your family.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 1936).

    (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 4, no. 1936). The same ruling also applies in cases of zinaa (adultery or fornication), homosexuality and bestiality. So even if you had the intercourse after the daylight hours of the fast, this expiation would still apply to you.

    Regarding having intercourse during menstruation:

    “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore, keep away from women during menses” [al-Baqarah 2:222]

    Whoever does that has to seek the forgiveness of Allah and repent to Him, and he has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity as expiation for what he has done. Ahmad and the authors of al-Sunan narrated with a jayyid isnaad from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever has intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating should give a dinar or half a dinar in charity.” Whichever you give is sufficient.

    I am not sure if you pay expiation for the former, if it covers the expiation in the latter, since that is specifically talking about a married couple (which you were not at the time). It seems that having sex (even fornicating) during ramadan is a graver sin, because breaking fast is often grouped with some of the worst sins while sex during menses is not necessarily. However, Allah knows best.

    You said, "Regardless of being in a haraam relationship, please take this out of the equation", however this truly CANNOT be taken out of the equation. Unless the haraam relationship ceases altogether, the possibility of these type of sins being repeated still remains. So if you want to truly repent, I would suggest cutting off contact with the boy in question in addition to fulfilling the above.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Regarding the hadith you mentioned. The hadith is correct no doubt, but the advice after is wrong. If one has intercourse outside daylight, this expiation does NOT count. This is due to the verse in surah Baqarah verse 187, where Allah lightens the burden for those who fast and allows them to approach their wives during the time they are allowed to eat.

      It has been made permissible for you the night preceding fasting to go to your wives [for sexual relations]. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He accepted your repentance and forgave you. So now, have relations with them and seek that which Allah has decreed for you. And eat and drink until the white thread of dawn becomes distinct to you from the black thread [of night]. Then complete the fast until the sunset. And do not have relations with them as long as you are staying for worship in the mosques. These are the limits [set by] Allah , so do not approach them. Thus does Allah make clear His ordinances to the people that they may become righteous. (Chapter 2: verse 187).

    • Salam I had sex with my wife after salat ul fajr while we both were fasting if I distribute 60 breads fee bread coast is Rs/20 it will be okay if I distribute plz answer me on whatsap

      • The hadith states that you must fast for 2 consecutive months. IF there is a reason you can't do that (health problems etc) ONLY THEN you need to feed 60 people. Your wife also needs to do this.

        • Only one time

        • Ok if I give only breads which coast fee bread 20 and total 1200 and feed one time so will it be okay??

          • You need to fast for 2 months not worry about feeding people. The compensation for you is to fast for 2 months you can't just do what is convenient unfortunately

          • Sorry for replying late brother but You need to fast for 2 months not worry about feeding people. The compensation for you is to fast for 2 months you can't just do what is convenient unfortunately. It lists the order in which you do it its not number 1 or nimber 2 option etc

        • for the sisters who wish to fast for 2 months , will we need to add on 2 additional weeks for menstruation that will occur during these months?

    • But couldn't she marry the boy?

    • Salaam, I am a Muslim and during Ramadhan, me & my gf made video chat? Which converted to sex chat and we shared nudes, due to this liquid flowed from both bodies? We had gusl later. Is my fast valid? What should I do further to stay my fast valid?

      • This is grave sin to indulge in nudity and sex video chat .
        It is haraam n sinful not only in Ramadan but also in other months .
        You have crossed all boundaries and definitely this fast is not valid .

  2. Salaam sister.

    I know you have specifically asked not to mention this but please don't fall into the trap of convincing yourself that your only mistake here was the premarital sex- as many brothers and sisters do. It wasn't.
    There is a misconception (which many youth believe) that Islam forbids sex before marriage, but not a relationship before marriage. Common quote."Its OK for me to be seeing him/her, as we're not sexually active." Its really not, regardless of what you are doing together.

    There are levels of zina, it doesnt just refer to sex before marriage(although only premarital sexual intercourse is punishable by Islamic law hadd.) Even a lustful word or gaze between unmarried people is a form of zina and is a sin. If the person does not repent and make amends, he/she will be accountable on the Day of Judgement by Allah swt.

    Sister don't be that person. Realise that to stop this sin from recurring and to repent you need to discontinue your relationship with this man. Yes its very hard but essential. Don't be alone with him or any other man ever and avoid secret relationships and casual boy-girl friendships. If you want to have a future together, ask him to speak to your parents. This is a great test for a man, as only those who truly take a girl seriously will go to her parents. It will show you his true intentions, whether he makes an excuse or wants a future. If you find her doesn't want a future then Allah saved you from continuing a relationship with such a man. You will move on in time.

    The point is we never know when Allah wil take our soul. Please turn to him now, it will be a huge weight off your shoulders to leave this sin for Him and He will surely reward you if you do so. Remember that although this sin is grave, Allah swt is the Most Merciful and if you are sincere He forgives all sins.
    Also remember that you may have to pay some sort of kaffarah- I havent discussed this in my article.I have attached some evidence below.

    Posts: 3,053

    Conditions of tawbah (repentance)

    “Say: “O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

    And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him (in Islam) before the torment comes upon you, (and) then you will not be helped.

    And follow the best of that which is sent down to you from your Lord (i.e. this Qur’aan, do what it orders you to do and keep away from what it forbids), before the torment comes on you suddenly while you perceive not!’”

    [al-Zumar 39:53-54 – interpretation of the meaning]

    You will see that repentance is something more than seeking forgiveness.
    Because this is a serious matter, there have to be conditions attached. The scholars mentioned the conditions of repentance, based on aayahs from the Qur’aan and ahaadeeth. There follows a list of some of them:

    1 – Giving up the sin immediately.

    2 – Regretting what has happened in the past.

    3 – Resolving not to go back to it.

    http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1069

    Allah has written for Adam's son his share of Zina ( fornication & adultery) which he commits inevitably. The Zina of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the Zina of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it "
    Rasulullah S.A.W. said "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head....rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women"

    Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab, Messenger of Allaah {Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam} said: "Whenever a man is alone with a woman shaytan makes a third." [Al-Tirmidhi 3118]

    The Mercy of Allah in Regard to Forgiveness

    "O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."

    I know you will think its a harsh post, but personally I have seen how many problems result from zina on this site etc and through society. I pray that Allah swt helps you to leave this sin and gives you whats best for you.
    Ameen. The months ahead will be tough but this is your post and if you need advice on this issue you are welcome to comment on here. Light is at the end of the tunnel and if you sincerely repent and change (and we are also required to not disclose our sins without good reason e.g. you can to a scholar for reason of seeking advice., Allah will forgive your sins, and it will be like you never committed them.

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    Sara

    • what should i do i love my girlfriend he loves me,and we want to sex.,she ismarried, m not, we cant control anymore,is there any way for kaffara.we will do only once.

      • musa, what you are talking about is an abominable sin. You must end your relationship with this woman and stay away from her if you fear Allah.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • ASC W.W

          MUSA dnt say we cnt control anymore,ASTAQHFIRULLAH.....
          U cn control urself by staying far from her..
          that is the best way u cn control urself from that married woman.
          thnks for ur que.

      • Salamwalekum wa rehamatullah hi wa barakatu hu
        I am fasting and if i face a fall or release my self with intention then what should i do ? With intention or without intention night fall

    • MASHALLAH you have given her a good advice in a very humble manner may the girl and boy get married and ALLAH PAK forgive them and guide them to the right path and may ALLAH PAK reward you ameen
      JazakALLAH

    • Valuable reply

  3. Comment removed by Editor


    • I saw the Picture ABOVE all this coments and i was wondering... what does that picture means? im from north america and i have never in my life wear something to hide my face but is because my culture but i dont think that means i,ll go to hell right???
      i means the world is full of diversity and lots of societys and cultures???!!!

      • Asalaam alaikum,

        I always felt that the staircase on the right hand side should be leading downwards and the woman on the left should be clothed in white. Yet, the sides should also be flipped as per Qur'an. Alas, my Photoshop skills are not up to par to remedy the situation.

        However, there is nothing in Islam that says you must cover your face, so don't worry about that part. What's important to remember is to wear and observe hijab by dressing modestly and honoring the bounds between men and women. The inability to do so, results in the above sinful practices which may be accounted for on the Day of Judgement.

        • Professor X,

          I agree that sides should be switched. And I also see your point of the road to hellfire should be a downward staircase. But because the grace and mercy of Allah Is so great, it requires Muslim to take steps and make an effort to go to the hellfire. For a non-muslim, they can fall down a set of stairs with little effort. However, for a Muslim, Allah's grace, guidance, and mercy requires us to conscienciously choose the hellfire and take steps and effort to ignore the Truth.
          Just another way to look at this picture.

          • Had sex with my boyfriend during Ramadan while a was menstruating .that was after everyone was done breaking his or her fast. I didn't intend having sex with him because he was not too well and I went to pay a visit.
            Please what do I do? And what is my punishment?

        • I agree, the staircase on the right should be heading down... and it never occurred to me about right and left, but you're correct about that too.

          I've always taken the image to be a general reminder that a person who obeys Allah and guards his/her modesty can hope for Jannah, while a person who disobeys Allah and lives a sinful lifestyle is following a path to Hell.

          It has nothing to do with covering one's face.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Asalam alykum waramitullah my name is Mariam Pls and pls I need answer on this question.

      • Salaams,

        I could be wrong, but it looked to me like we are seeing the covered lady from behind, so we are not looking at something covering her face but the top and back of her head.

        In general, it's best not to infer anything from the illustrations that are put with the posts. They are placed to generally match the nature of the question and are not intended to be used as a means of guidance in and of themselves.

        -Amy
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • The image is from the back, not front.

          And I agree with Amy. The Editors just choose an image to suit the question as they perceive it and nothing more.

          SisterZ
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I think the above comment disgusts me more than the act.

      Hafsa- She is making a conscious decision to seek help and proper guidance so she may be forgiven. She does not need you to put her to greater shame. She clearly is already ashamed and feels guilty. I can never appreciate people who are incredibly judgmental and shame others. God is the only one who will judge her. She will take the proper steps inshallah, and the rest is up to God.

      This is the issue I have with many Muslims. I am much different in that I don't judge people for their sins as harshly as other Muslims do. So many people sin secretly, and do not seek help because of their fear of being judged like you have done to the woman who posted. They try to just forget about it. Not telling anyone, to many people, means it never happened. When you feel like you have wronged and want to change, you should be able to turn to someone for guidance without being crucified for the sin. I realize not everyone is as open-minded, but inshallah, through prayer you may be.

      May God bless us during this holy month,
      and may we all be more patient, disciplined, and caring toward one other.

      Thank you.

      • Can someone please give me advice and guidance, I feel really disgusted with myself, I got married last year but things did not work out with my husband so I am now going through a divorce, I have also got in touch with a man who I was in a relationship prior to me getting married and I went to meet him for iftaari yesterday and we ended up having sex in his car, I feel so guilty and upset and regret it soo much!! plz someone help me what do I do, this man is waiting for my divorce to go through so he can come and ask for my hand he has told his family about me and my family know too but its really eating me away i havnt even spoken to him properly since. Can som1 plz tell me what is the best way to seek forgiveness from Allah
        Thank you
        Xxx

        • Aliya, what you have done is a huge sin - committing adultery, and during Ramadan even! Astaghfirullah. You need to make a full and sincere tawbah and change your life completely. Stop contacting this man. Do your prayers, fast, read the Quran, and build your relationship with Allah. Join a Muslim sisters' group and get to know some good Muslim friends. And keep on asking Allah for forgiveness every day.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • It is truly a horrible thing you have done but it's not unforgivable, as Allah forgives all sins except shirk, as long as the repentance is genuine. The best advice i can give you is what I have read from the book of Allah, in which Allah says;

            "And those who, when they commit an immorality or wrong themselves [by transgression], remember Allah and seek forgiveness for their sins - and who can forgive sins except Allah ? - and [they] do not knowingly persist in what they have done." Chapter 3: v. 135.

            The arabic word in this verse for immorality is faahisha. And this refers to all kinds of dispeakalbe and disgusting acts. Zina (adultary and fornication) being the first and foremost example.

            The first legitimate and recommended feeling after one has committed any one of these acts, is regret. Regret plays a huge role in repentance. That's the first step. The second step is in the verse and that is remembering Allah. Knowing and realizing you have done and committed a sin against yourself that none can remove from you except Allah. The third step is as also seen in the verse above, genuinely asking for forgiveness from Allah and HAVE the intention not to return to the sin. The final step is proving yourself before Allah that your tawba(repentance) is actually genuine. And that is done by following up with good and righteous deed. Because good deeds eat up the bad and Allah might elevate you by them. While performing those deeds, constantly remember the reason why you are doing them and the act that led you to do them. That way you will not fall short on the way to earning Allah's love again.

            May Allah forgive you for all your sins and accept your repentance and your sincerity. The next verse that comes after the one i posted is very crucial as well, and I sincerely hope you hold on to these two verses with all your strength during your repentance. It reads;

            "For such - their reward is forgiveness from their Lord and gardens beneath which rivers flow [in Paradise], wherein they will abide eternally; and excellent is the reward of the [righteous] workers." Chapter 3: v. 136.

            Note that from verse 133 to 136, Allah is describing the Al Muttaqun (The pious and those who are conscious of Allah). They too can fall into these sins. But of course, as the prophet (saw) said: Every child of Adam is a sinner, and the best sinner is the repentant one. Allah loves when his slaves and servants repent to him because that is what being conscious of Allah means, asking for forgiveness and thanking Allah. 🙂

          • Jazak Allah khayr brother Rashid for your good response.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • very nicely and appropriately advised brother Rashid.May Allah be gntle with you for your gentle approach.

          • Thank you very much for all your responses, i really appreciate it
            Jzk xx

          • Wael your response is so judgemental, why are you unable to respond to the situation like Rashid, talk about making the girl feel even worse -.-

          • I didn't really see a substantive difference in tone between my response and brother Rashid's. The sister in question was still somewhat in denial, talking about the man coming to propose to her family. Sometimes you have to be blunt with people to wake them up to the seriousness of their actions. You will note that I also gave her constructive advice. Allah knows best.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • @ brother Rashid,

          MashaAllah, well said. And JazakaAllah for that beautiful input.

          Sister In Islam,
          Zahriya

      • Nice one @sarah, gud point

  4. 😮 ohhhh Ok Thank you... so much for all ur coments
    by the way... i din't know that its a sin to have sexual relationships in the Menstrual Cicle..? O.o
    its kind of wierd how cultures change alot.. here in my society women do have sexual encounters like 3 days before the menstrual cicle and in the menstrual cicle
    so that way they dont get Pregnant..?!!!

    this post is very interesting... 🙂

    • Asalaam alaikum,

      Actually if you read the Jewish laws, having sex during the menstrual cycle had not been normal during those times. The rabbis went as far as separating husband and wife and forbidding more than just sexual intercourse with elimination sexual play, touching, sleeping together, etc. The latter was something the rabbis at the time had broadened into their interpretation. This had not been a part of God's law: separating the husband and wife to such an extent.

      The Christians on the other hand have a mess on their hands (sorry for the bad pun). Some sects say "yes, no or maybe so." Orthodox Christians do not allow a woman to take communion during this time, so it depends on how the sect interprets their scriptures. The problem that they have is that they argue about which laws were abrogated and which were not when Prophet Isa (as) appeared. The issues go even further than this rule, of course.

      About the pic: cool change! Liked all the comments, too. 😉

      • Orthodox Christias does not even read the bible when they have period on , sex is not allowed either or to enter the church ...so do muslims have shia sunni arguments about which laws are better ... so brother pls do ur homework before to bash christians . And as a point for ur personal knowledge orthodoxy is the closest to islam I am talking from experience because I use to be a christian ortodox .

    • Actually, though it is less likely to happen, you can still get pregnant during your menstraul cycle.

      Now while I can understand why intercourse is haraam, there is another side to the argument.
      During this time women tend to be more tired irritable ect. This is due to the imbalance of hormones. The endorphines released during intimacy can help straighten the homrnes. Giving the woman more energy and easing the irritability. Some studies have shown that it can also help ease the discomfort of cramps.

      • Asalaam alaikum,

        While intercourse is forbidden and engagement of the woman's loins, other forms of sexual play may be allowed during this time. Also, there is an understanding that while there may be a slight benefit in some ways, the better way is abstain from intercourse because the benefits of doing so are greater in the wisdom of Allah (swt). For example, wine is reported to have some good effect on decreasing heart disease in moderation, however the ill effects of alcohol are greater than this supposed benefit. Thus, it is forbidden.

        • Your right professor. While there are some benefits there is also risk. At that time a women is more likely to get an infection. It is also at this time that the risk of trasmitting an std is at its highest.

  5. WOW :-0Thank you so much guys/girls
    im happy to got ALL that in mind...
    My Religion is cristianity = Protestant???

    In the kind of church that i go to..
    many pastors or brother and sisters?? say that the original religion came from the islam??? and i sure think is true
    but the're so many sayings and so many dissagretmeants???? that sometimes plp go confuse lol
    still i admire alot ur religion because is unnique and full of faith...

    here we belive in jesus???
    and we follow the bible
    but... womens turn to be more liberal?
    i belive is maybe because of the culture
    and i have meet lots plp from Israel and arabia here in my country
    i must say womens and men are beutiful and full of cheerfulness
    😉

    May The Lord Blessed you
    thank you... once again!

    • Leila,

      We believe in One Creator, who we call 'ALLAH'. We also believe in Jesus(peace be upon him). We do not worship him, because he was a man and a Prophet sent by Allah, as were all the Prophets including Muhammed (peace be upon them all).

      Islam came not when Muhammed(peace be upon him) came, nor when Jesus(pbuh) came, nor when Adam(pbuh) came. Islam came when Allah created whatever He(Almighty) created first. Because 'Islam' means simply to submit to the Will of Allah(The one and only Creator). So as the creation of Allah, we should all be submitting to His Will, that includes the Sun, Moon, Wind, Rain etc. They all work in order, only as Allah has commanded them to.

      So all the confusions in people's minds have arisen due to them not understanding the true concept of our/their Creator. Do not make images of the Creator, do not associate partners with Him. Just worship Him directly, seek guidance from Him and He will guide you to the truth.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  6. I was reading this post randomly and sister Hafsa's reply to this poor girl who was already repenting and seeking for help really offended and disgusted me. When someone need help you dont make them feel low about themself but help them. If our attitude is this hursh people will stop seeking for help. I know if i were at her situation i woukd not. At current world we muslims all try to pretend how committed we are and hiw much we know but what we forget is the basics. Prophet Muhammad ( peace be upon him) always cared about how people feel but we all forgetting his basic teachings on how to behave. Every issues in life has a solution by Quran or hadidth. If we repent and worship Allah and have faith on him we will be forgiven inshallah. People - being muslim - try to set good example on attitude. We don't have to prove the world that we are no different from what media is trying to make people believe. Sister Hafsa- i pray so you can be a better human being.

  7. ui want to clerify d fact dat d gal is menstrating.........since she is not fasting,she didnt break any fast.will she observe the two month fast too?Pls,shed more light on this.

    • Verily there is no better speech than Allah book and his messenger's instructions. You asked a very good question that could be difficult for some to find in the quran, but all praises and thanks are due to Allah who has revealed the perfect speech and form of guidance to the perfect instructor (S.A.W).

      Allah says his book;

      "They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an a harmful thing, therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allâh has ordained for you. Truly, Allâh loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves." Chapter 2: v: 222.

      Concerning the woman goes through this during the month of ramadhan, this is not mentioned in the wise quran. However, just because it is not, doesn't mean there is no ruling, as Allah did not only reveal the Qur'an, but the like of it as well (i.e the sunnah of the prophet - the authentic hadith of the prophet).

      Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “We used to be in menses and we used to be ordered to make up the days of fasting that we had missed but we were not ordered to make up for the missed prayers.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

      So to answer your question, yes she has to make up the days she missed of the month but not the prayers. Hope that answers your question.

      • salam,thanks but my question is about the lady who had sex while she was menstruating during ramadan.she didnt break any fast.so i was wandering if she has to observe kafara too

        • All perfection is to Allah alone and far above everything. It was a slight misunderstanding from my part and inshAllah i hope Allah gives me the right answer to your question.

          As I mentioned above, it is something Allah has forbidden us to do. With such matters of practice, usually there is a kafara if the limits of Allah are not met. In this case however, there seems to be a slight difference of opinion, so we have to look at what the scholars have to say. But before we can deal with that, please know that the righteous scholars of this ummah are like the prophets of the children of israil (the jews) as clearly stated by beloved of Allah (S.A.W), so Alhamdulillah we have such people who can help us out in matters such as this, and may Allah reward them.

          According to the four major scholars of the four schools of thought (Malik, Hanafi, Shafi'e and Hanbali), there is NO kafara on a person who has sexual intercourse WITHIN the laws of marriage with his or her spouse. Now obviously, it is VERY poor of the man that he didn't resist and keep his fast. They both should however seek the forgiveness of Allah for that action since the limits set by Allah were violated and also if this was done during the day.

          Please keep in mind that this is not justification for such a person to fall into this action again. Just because there is no kafara, doesn't mean, it is not disliked by Allah and therefore worthy of Allah's anger. But in the end as always, Allah loves those who sincerely repent and make amends.

          Allah says speaking about the limits he has set;

          "These are the limits ordained by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the wrongdoers"

          KEEP THAT IN MIND!

          Hope that answers your question. Allah knows best.

  8. Wel. i would like to say this. .... first of all . she did it. intercoourse with her boyfriend. not hasband. then wot left.... if she is not married then be a lucky . so in sariaya. apply... for her.
    and have .2 month fasting or feed the poor people/

  9. Is listening to music while fasting a haram?
    And I have a crush on this guy. He is a christian.. but its just a crush, nothing more.. is it haram too? 🙁

    • There are different opinions about music. It's best to stick to Islamic nasheeds. However, in Ramadan, it's best to stick to Quran and Islamic lectures.

      It's not haram to have a crush, but it's haram to act on it. To approach him, flirt with him, go on a date, etc - these things would be haram. Don't feed your crush. Try to do away with your thoughts and feelings for him and steer your mind in other directions.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Thank you very much...
        I am now memorizing some ayats...
        I am afraid that i cant even memorize short ayat aside from the known one when my time will come..
        And regading that guy, its just a crush..
        I have fallen in love with the guy that do Salah and fasting.. Inshaallah, Allah SWT will grant ys happiness..

  10. It actually a sinfull thing to have sex when you're on your period. But I have a question. In this modern age, it hard for a young girl to be without having a boyfriend. And this days, sex is always involve in a relationship. I was wondering how I will just meet a guy just because he likes me and I like him @ first sight, we just gonna decide that we wanna marry without courtship to @least know eachoda more. It really confusing. @least not in this modern time. I know back then in d days, women get married @ an early age and I believe that's why they are not tempted to have premarital sex unlike this days. If Allah is going to judge by this act, I believe only 15percent out of 100 youths will make it out of hell. Asalamu aleikum. Thanks.

    • Fatima, because you desire to commit a sin (having a boyfriend), you are falling back on the old excuse, "everyone does it, so why shouldn't I?" You say it's hard for a young girl to be without a boyfriend? That's utter nonsense. Good Muslim girls rely on other girls for companionship, not a boyfriend. They protect their honor and their chastity and they do not pretend that just because we live in "modern times", they can throw the Islamic rules out the window.

      You are trying to claim that you need to get to know someone for marriage, but you know full well that having a boyfriend has nothing to do with getting married. You are not going to bring your boyfriend to your parents for marriage, are you? Instead, you would end up committing sins with him secretly, then be ashamed and regretful.

      Stay on the right path and don't be tempted to commit a sin just because everyone else does it.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  11. Dear brother,
    I have done a sin. During Ramadan, I had sex during day time with my wife. While we are newly married. So what should I do now?. Your support required........thanks

  12. Salam Aleykum, I need an advice please. I'm a new reverted Muslim and I've a Christian boyfriend. We tried to avoid each other during Ramadan but it has been really hard and consequently we ended up sleeping together. During these days we had sexual intercorse at night after Maghreb time. Some other days we just slept at the same bed.
    I've a feeling that my fasting won't be accepted. What should I do to make up this mistake? I know it's a grace sin but I need help to handle this situation. I'm also trying to introduce Islam to him so we can marry.
    Jzak for replying.
    Salams

    • Sister1, Allah says in the Quran, "Oh you who believe, enter into Islam COMPLETELY, and do not follow the footsteps of Shaytan, for surely he is to you a clear enemy." You have embraced Islam and now we are in Ramadan, the month of purification and repentance. You must stop all this behavior immediately. You need to cut off all your personal contact with your boyfriend. We do not have boyfriends and girlfriends in Islam, for precisely the reason you have experienced. Communicate with him through email if you must, but only to tell him about Islam and invite him to the deen. If he is not willing or not interested then your relationship with him must be ended altogether, permanently.

      If you intend to be Muslim then be Muslim, dear sister, and accept the guidelines that Allah has given you.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  13. Salam alaykum.
    Thanks for ur comment

  14. Dear Sir

    I have never found such best way to suggest some one like this way

    Very Best Answer

    May Allah reward you for your this work

    Thanks and appreciated

  15. This is really nice for informations

  16. hello sir i want to ask that i am a 12 year old boy and i read things about puberty and every sex education i needed but my parent didnt told me till now thats why i got it to my self for that puberty started in me at 11 i think is it normal that parents didnt told there children about it?

    • umar manan: hello sir i want to ask that i am a 12 year old boy and i read things about puberty and every sex education i needed but my parent didnt told me till now thats why i got it to my self for that puberty started in me at 11 i think is it normal that parents didnt told there children about it?

      For some parents it is hard to talk about sex with their kids. What questions you have? Boys can experience puberty from 10-15 yr old.

      Some of the early changes that occur include: testicle growth, penis growth and the growth of pubic hair around the testicles and penis.

      Erections begin to occur at puberty and this happens when the penis is filled up with blood, thus hardening. The penis becomes much bigger and you will notice it as it stands out from the rest of the body. Boys will have more erections at puberty and they should not be worried about this either, as it is perfectly normal. Erections can occur at any time of the day, multiple times or you could have none at all. This will mostly depend on your sexual maturity, age, level of physical activity and the amount of sleep you get every day.
      ..........Boys begin to experience what is referred to as a wet dream or nocturnal emissions. This is much different from peeing on your bed and it occurs when semen is discharged from the penis during an erection. This is known as ejaculation and it occurs a lot in puberty while asleep.

  17. Saalam

    I am very guilty for the sin i did in the month of ramadhan. i did not had the intention but it haapened and was not in controll. my wife stoped me but i said iam not fasting today so dont worrry. After seher i had intercourse with my wife. And my wife was not fasting. We did not controlled each other. This happen after fajar in the morning. It was not completely day or night. Please tell us the best way to make the repetence. And abt my wife, did she also commited the same sin.

  18. Just ask for forgiveness and make sure you will never never come back to that again

  19. Why can no one reply to this young lady

  20. What if a non muslim people had a sex during month of ramdan. is it a sin for them too. I realy don't understand why all the sin are bases on religion. & why there are so many restriction in our(muslim) cast. most of the thing like other people do thing in their everyday life like watching movies, listening song and so on. those are sin for us. WHY???????

  21. How is anything 'double' haram?! It is either haram or not. Man's mind puts such quantitative values on sin.

    Try putting a quantitative value in the Love of Allah through focus and prayer. His Love which is infinite by the way, can perhaps lead to a deeper understanding that will surface to improve your relations with Him.

  22. is it okay to feed 60 persons for one time to compensate due to I HAD sex with my wife 40 years during ramdan in day time while at that young age had no knowledge of islam. Had intercourse for 3 days.

    Is compensation in the shape of food to 60 persons will be okay from me and my wife . or
    WE HAVE TO COMPENSATE SEPARATELY.

  23. Hi..I don't have much to say but I just had sex with my girlfriend after we break the fasting this evening..and I am so much confused that I can't even sleep it's 1.28am here which the fasting continues at 3 to 4 am..someone should talk to me. Can I continue with the fasting ?

    • You are doing the worst sin of Zina that too in ramzan .stop it n repent sincerely ..

      • I mistakely had sexual intercourse with my girl. After sunset in the month of Ramadan. Do I need to fast 2month nor is there any istikifal I can do to ask forgiveness from Allah for committing zina. During the month of Ramadan please I need help.

        • First, be honest. How can you mistakenly have sexual intercourse? You committed a serious sin.

          Also, I find it bizarre that people only take Allah's commandments serious in Ramadan. Brother, zinaa is haram at ANY time, not only in Ramadan. Having a girlfriend, having sexual intercourse before marriage, these are serious sins. If you want to make tawbah then you need to change your lifestyle. Stop having a girlfriend, restructure your life according to what Allah has commanded and forbidden. Make Allah the center of your life, rather than your desires. Allah is so merciful and generous with us, and all he asks in return is that we be grateful, and avoid the major sins. It's not too much to do.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Hi, I have a girl whom have stayed with with more than 3years now, we have a son together and she is currently having another pregnancy. We had sex during the night of Ramadhan, am I allowed to have sexual intercourse with her?
            Kindly help

          • Aman, if you mean that she is not your wife, then I have to make the obvious suggestion: just marry her, brother. SubhanAllah. Why would you live in sin for three years and even have two children out of wedlock? Have a simple ceremony with little or no expense, and get married.

            Having sex outside of marriage is illegal (haram) in Islam. Make your relationship halal.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  24. Assalamu Alaykum
    @ the initial question
    Please get married. Allah has made marriage very simple and only requires 2 witness, acceptance and an agreed amount of mehr / dowry. After this your relationship is halal and permitted. Do not hold of due to social conventions

  25. Sexual relations and fondling is only permissible after Nikah. This is the only answer.

  26. i am muslim by birth (shia) but i am still concerned whether i am a muslim or not. i do not pray 5 times a day. but i do not commit adultery and i always try to protect my chastity no matter what , i am not able to perform my daily prayers due to some reasons which are insurmountable to handle. i also try to behave and be a strong muslim as it is written in the Quran. i watch islamic spekers such as, Mufti Ismail ,Menk Nouman Ali Khan online and regard them as my brothers and strive to follow every single word of them all the time.

    am i still muslim ?
    thanks beforehand.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      If you believe in the truth that there is no god but Allah and that The Prophet (pbuh) is the Final Messenger of Allah, then most Sunni scholars would consider you to be Muslim. A Muslim needs to recognise the importance of the Five Pillars of Islam - one of which is prayer. It sounds like you recognise the importance of prayer but aren't carrying it out regularly for other reasons. As this is one of the most fundamental elements of our faith, it's important for us all to try to do it - depending on the reasons you have, it may be possible to find a way to pray.

      For example, while the daily prayers involve standing, sitting and prostrating, if a person is unable to do this, they can pray while sitting or lying down, making movements to echo the movements of the prayer, e.g. with their head.

      If you can't learn the Arabic words to recite enough Qur'an, then recite what you can and in the places you don't know, recite Alhamdulillah, SubhanAllah and Allah Akbar.

      If timing is an issue, there is scope to combine prayers in situations where you would otherwise miss a prayer - you could look into the guidance from scholars about this. I'm not sure what the exact guidance is from Shia scholars as I'm Sunni myself - inshaAllah your local mosque or community centre might be able to help with this.

      If you cannot pray outwardly due to a risk to your safety, then think the words of the prayer to yourself and know that you have the intention to pray but are unable to do so. Intention is very important in Islam. Then, work to get yourself into a situation where you are safe to express your faith.

      If you require further information, please submit a question for publication and it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

      • Pls i had sex with my girlfriend during daytime of Ramadan. If I say that I will fast for 60 days I will be deceiving. Pls what can I do to seek for forgiveness in allah. Your pprompt response will be appreciated

        • Fasting for 60 days or feeding 60 people is the kaffarah for one who has intercourse with his wife during the fast; what you did is much worse, since you also committed zinaa, a major sin. If you truly want to show Allah that you are sorry for what you did, then you must end this sinful relationship. We do not have boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in Islam. If you continue, you will surely commit the sin again. Either marry the girl or terminate the relationship altogether.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  27. Salam,
    I need help, I meet a friend up during the early morning nights before fajir, We have committed sin, temptation hit us, however I stop myself before i had sex, I did not have sex, but I have committed sexual acts with her. Afterwards i told her i feel guilty about it, and she says dont. I was just so lonely and I had feeling temptation might hit me. But i still went, so this my fault and i know what i did was wrong. I dont know is what I should next. I coudlnt get married due to financial reasons, Recently the girl I wanted to married, married someone else. So i was devasted. In the past I have making prayer and making dua for the last few years on getting marred. I am planning on ending the relationship with her immediate, as i got home I shower and I prayed and asked Allah swt to forgive and im deeply sorry. I am also planning to donate money to masjid. my question is what else i should do? because i feel i need to do more, but i cannot fast for 60 days or should i fast 60 days, cause i have not had intercourse with anyone. The girl with whom i committed these acts with does not want to get married, nor on has any plans to. Please help and thank you in advance

    • It's good you stopped yourself before intercourse. That shows that you still have some taqwa in your heart. Continue your sincere tawbah for this act. End your "friendship" with this woman - men and women cannot be close friends. That should be obvious from this incident. Obviously you're in a lot of pain due to losing the woman you wanted to marry, but be patient and involve yourself in halal activities, hobbies, work, attending the masjid, and spending time with good friends (males!). Eventually you will find someone else, Insha'Allah.

      Lastly, you are not Mohamed the idiot, as you called yourself. You are Mohamed the repenter, Mohamed the Muslim. Mohamed the one who will learn from his mistakes, Insha'Allah.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  28. As we are being told the prophet Muhammad (s.w.a) told the man who have sex with his wife during ramadhan.to feed that date since he is so poor.what about if you don't have family to feed and the other two option you will not able.please need asistance

  29. Sorry brother....u must repent and never go back to that sin again....there are 3 things u can chose from...u can fast 2 consecutive months....if u can't do that then u feed 60 needy people or u free a slave.
    Allah knows better.

  30. If I have premarital sex during Ramadan after my period does it mean my remaining fasting days have been ruined

  31. I had sex with my girlfriend during the night after fasting and I finally realized is a sin what should I do

    • Brother Kamal, it is haram to have sex outside of marriage, whether it is in Ramadan or not. Are you not aware of that?

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  32. Aslaam alaikum brothers and sisters ...i romanced a girl during ramadan night but never had real sex cause i was fearing the consequences ..does this mean i have to fast 60 days consecutively

  33. So for lady's it will be 2 month 2 weeks Fasting plus the menstruation ?

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