Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Why do people divorce and what happens to divorced couples in the hereafter?

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It is said that the marriages are settled in the heavens and couples meet together in this world, but then why do the couples separate by divorces?

If the husband gives three instant written divorces to his wife as khula , and if she does not want it but husband forcely shows her written messages on mobile text asking for unintentional 3 divorces just in fighting, and husband without knowing her inner feelings and facts divorces her as a revenge and that woman never remarries in her lifetime,  then will she be joined with her husband in life after death if she wished to be?

And in case if she remarries then with whom she will be in paradise?

Please reply.



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19 Responses »

  1. AA;

    Can you please clarify your questions?


  2. Salaams,

    You are asking questions that no one knows the answer to...why? Because no one knows exactly who is even going to paradise and who is not. You may not make it to paradise. Your ex husband may not make it to paradise. If one or both of you don't make it to paradise, then your question doesn't matter.

    If two people who were previously married and divorced go to paradise, still no one can say what will happen then. The information that has been revealed to us about paradise doesn't go into that type of detail.

    It sounds like what you are really trying to do is comfort yourself; trying to soothe the heartbreak from this unwanted divorce by reassuring yourself somehow that you will be reunited with your ex husband in paradise. Our hopes of paradise should be less about what kind of dunya upgrades we might get there and more on being able to insha'Allah access our Creator with the veils removed, and spend time with the beloved ones He sent to guide us. If you are spending most of your time equating paradise with your lost love, you are missing the point of what we are here to accomplish in this life.

    The best thing you can do is accept that you are now single again and move on with life. What kind of life? Not so much looking for another husband or feeling worthless because you're divorced, but a life of learning what it means to please Allah, and finding joy and fulfillment in doing the things and being the woman who pleases Him. When you've found some peace in that, then you can start hoping for more of the same in paradise.

    -Amy Editor

  3. Leelu, Walaykumsalaam,

    Giving divorce three times in one sitting is absolute haraam. You say this man divorced you for revenge, this is a very cruel thing to do. So I do not understand why you want to be with him again in this life or in the next.

    Dear Sister, I pray that you will try to move on and settle with someone who can be a truly good and loving husband to you. I also pray that he will be God fearing, because a man who is God fearing will respect you even when you have disputes. Furthemore, he certainly would not divorce you in this haraam manner nor would he divorce you to take revenge on you.

    SisterZ Editor

  4. Dear Sr. Z
    Pronouncing divorce 3 times at the same time is unfortunately what most men do, and there is no recourse for the woman (at least in this world!) - mine was pronounced by my ex IN a court in Pakistan! So even the court / judge had no ruling on that, that this was not the Islamic way of divorcing.

    Take care

    • Its terrible that people in our communities are so illiterate of the laws of our deen, that they do such things. There is so much logic in divorcing in the way of the Sunnah. If the right method was used, the couple would have both time and a chance to even resume the marriage. They would probably find that all they needed was some cooling down time, and the right method of divorce gives them just that. The men do not realise but they are actually waiving their own rights by divorcing three times in one go.

      May Allah make us wiser and better Muslims, aameen.

      SisterZ Editor

      • Yes, very unfortunate - specially in my case, where the jugde is a hafiz e Quran, and should have known better!

    • Dear Serendipity,

      If your husband did this, all I can say is that you're better off without him. May Allah grant you with a husband who is loving, kind, pious and God fearing - and may he be the comfort of your eye and good for you hereafter aswell, aameen!

      SisterZ Editor

  5. Asalamu alaikum

    Dear sister you should not preoccupy yourself with inquiring about the details of your entering paradise.what you will be doing there,what you will have,with whom you are going to be with and so on.It is enough for you to know once you enter paradise you will be safe from the punishment of Hell,and you will forget all the misery and hardship you ever faced because your life in paradise will be one of endless and happiness.

    It is enough for you to know that Allah the All-Mighty Says(No fatigue will touch them therein,nor from it they will{ever}be removed){15:48}
    (Circulated among them will be plates and vessels of gold.And therein is whatever the souls desire and{what} delights the eyes,and you will abide therein entirely){43:71}.
    (Allah being pleased with them,and they with him){5:119}

    Our life in paradise in not like our life on this earth where we will be misery,angry,sad, and so on,paradise is a place where we will find an endless happiness and joyful.

    As regarding your questions I will try to help you Inshallah.

    In this world,all women who will eventually go to paradise fall under one of the following categories:

    A woman who died before marriage
    A woman who died after divorce and before a second marriage
    A married woman whose husband will not enter paradise with her(may Allah protect us)
    A woman who died after marriage
    A woman whose husband died and she remained unmarried until her death.
    A woman whose husband died and she married another one.

    Each of these women has a special condition in paradise:
    A woman who died before marriage:This woman will marry a man{a male human} in paradise,as prophet(peace be upon him)said''There will be no unmarried person in paradise".[Muslim] shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said,''If a woman died before marring in this world,Allah The Al-Mighty will provide her a husband who will delight her heart.''Bliss in paradise is equally for men and women,and its certainly includes marriage.

    The former condition also applies to the woman who died after divorce.
    And also applies to the woman whose husband will not enter paradise with her.Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said,''If a woman entered paradise without being married in this world,or married but her husband did not enter paradise Allah The All-mighty will provide her with a husband from among the unmarried men in paradise''.

    A woman who died after marriage will be with her husband in paradise.
    A woman whose husband died and she remained unmarried until her death will be with her husband in paradise.

    A woman whose husband died and she married another one,will be for the last husband regardless of their number,as prophet(peace be upon him)said ''The woman will be for her last husband in paradise''[Al-Albaani]

    Huthayfuh(may Allah be pleased with him)said to his wife,''If you want to be with me in paradise,do not marry anyone after my death''.The woman will be for her last husband in paradise,And that is why Allah the Exalted
    forbade the wives of the prophet(peace be upon him)from marring after his death,because they will be his wives in paradise.''

    However,some people may wonder why prophet(peace be upon him) taught us to supplicate for dead women saying''O' Allah provide her with a husband better then hers.'' If it was true that the husband of the woman in this world is going to be her husband in the hereafter.

    Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said''If the dead woman is unmarried then the meaning will be,'O Allah provide her with a husband better then the one she would have married if she had remained alive.'' regard to the married woman,the meaning would be provide her with her husband after improving his manners and attributes.''

    If a woman did not remarry in her lifetime until her death she will marry a man(male human) in paradise.
    And in case if she remarry she will be with her last husband as prophet(peace be upon him) said''Any woman who marries again after the death of her first husband will be with her last husband.''[Imam Tabrani and Ibn Asakir narrated this Hadith and Sheikh Al-Albani grades it as a sound Hadith.

    Hope you get your answer from this fatwa.A muslim has to do good in this life and seek Taqwah so that Allah will be pleased with him,and grant him what he has preferred for the pious people.And know that paradise is obtained only through faith and good deeds rather then false hopes and negligence.

    So,dear sister dont lose hope Allah is Always there for you.Inshallah Allah will provide you with a better husband then your ex-husband in this world and hereafter.

    • Salaam Sister

      Thank you for sharing your knowledge 🙂

      What is the situation if a man remarries? Do the rulings still apply?

  6. yes i have heard the same. if i would not marry twice in this world after divorce i shall be with my last husband (my exhusband) in paradise offcourse. but if i remarry i shal be with the second husband that is why i do not want to remarry in this world. i loved him a lot and now i cannot sleep with another man again...try to understand my feelings. no one tries to understand me. despite of the fact that he was so cruel and harsh with me and he never made me happy but i started loving him just after my nikah with him and i was very true to him. i made him my husband till my death. he was selfish and harsh but my feelings are still there for him till my death. what should i do now? 3 years have passed and i am passing my life alone. i am happy in this...

    • Leelu,

      Honestly? I think you need to invest in some proper counselling. You are wasting your life over someone that you claim mistreated you. If he was so cruel and harsh to you but you still crave to be with him - this is odd and indicates to me that you have a very unhealthy thought process.

      SisterZ Editor

      • Sr. Z
        Can I ask you something privately if you email me plz? I would appreciate it. thanks

        • Sister,

          If its a question that you need advice on, you should really be submitting it as a post.


          • I actually have a question that I had posted some months ago but did not get much advice and would love your and Professor X to answer that.

          • Ah ok, thats cool. Paste the link to your post here and I'll see if I can find some words of wisdom for you insha'Allah :O)


        • Insha'allah, please post the link and I will be grateful to lend advice, if I am able to.

  7. Hmmm.... but what if the ex-husband remarries? What happens then, Leelu? Since we REALLY don't know what will happen in the afterlife is most likely the reason why Islam encourages remarriage for widows and divorcees over virgins. Maybe you may make it to some level of jannah, but he does not make it jannah - so that may keep you apart. That is why Allah in the Quran discourages us from asking too many questions about all these things. You are driving yourself nuts and missing out on the gift of life Allah SAT has blessed you with. Open up - Allah may already have someone MUCH better for you just in this life and when He introduces you both, you may say WOW! Is this what Allah had saved for me!! Sister, no use wasting tears/life over someone who cares not a single bit about you - trust me, I've been there, so I do speak from experience, as I was in the same place as you once.


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