Birthdays
i am the oldest of 4. I have always taught my siblings to care for eachother. On birthdays i made sure we all chipped in and bought presents and made the day special for the sibling. I got arranged marriage and husband wont let me celebrate birthdays. I am currently unemployed so i am financially dependent on him and we live a low middle class life. I understand we dont have the luxury of buying expensive gifts but i still want to be able to buy something small and celebrate with my family. Tomorrow is my sisters birthday and my other siblings are looking to me for what to do as a surprise for her. My husband says no i cant celebrate with them its haram to celebrate birthdays since the prophet (sa) did not celebrate. I dont want to not be part of my family, especially during a celebration. I dont see anything wrong with birthdays. Its just a day to appreciate one another i feel like. I dont know what to do. Are birthdays haram? What should i do i feel like im being pushed away from my family.
anonymous111
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Some scholars do say that it is a form of bida'ah and so it is not allowed as it is imitation of the Kuffaar and all. But the Holy Prophet himself used to recognize his birthday and used to fast on that day. Also, the Muslims still celebrate the 12th of Rabbi Ul Awal by organizing milaads so may be this is allowed. I'm not sure. Allah knows best.
But what I feel is that may be your husband is not comfortable due to the expenses of the celebration and this is just an excuse he is bringing up because he wants to provide you with more than what you already have. I think you should talk to him and try asking him what the underlying cause of this rejection is. If it is the expenses, convince him that you will not buy anything too costly. Or you can start earning yourself. This might also ease your husband up a bit.
I hope this helps!
Salamalaikum.
Follow what has been sent down unto you from your Lord, and follow not any awliyaa’ (protectors, helpers, etc.) besides Him. Little do you remember!” [al-A’raaf 7:3]
According to saheeh reports, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever does something that is a not part of this matter of ours (i.e., Islam) will have it rejected” (reported by Muslim in his Saheeh); and “The best of speech is the Book of Allaah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The most evil of things are those which have been newly invented (in religion), and every innovation is a going astray.” There are many other ahaadeeth that convey the same meaning.
The evidence in the Qur’aan and Sunnah indicates that celebrating birthdays is a kind of bid’ah or innovation in religion, which has no basis in the pure sharee’ah. It is not permitted to accept invitations to birthday celebrations, because this involves supporting and encouraging bid’ah.
Besides being bid’ah and having no basis in sharee’ah, these birthday celebrations also involve imitation of the Jews and Christians in their birthday celebrations. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, warning us against following their ways and traditions: “You would follow the ways of those who came before you step by step, to such an extent that if they were to enter a lizard’s hole, you would enter it too.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Reported by al-Bukhaari and Muslim).
Regarding Mawlid al-Nabi (the Prophet’s birthday),
The Prophet himself (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not do this or command anyone to do it, either during his lifetime or after his death. Indeed, he told them not to exaggerate about him as the Christians had exaggerated about Jesus (upon whom be peace). He said: “Do not exaggerate about me as the Christians exaggerated about the son of Maryam. I am only a slave, so say, ‘The slave of Allaah and His Messenger.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari).
Moreover, we know that the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) were the people who loved the Prophet most. Was it reported that Abu Bakr, who was the closest of people to him and the one who loved him the most, celebrated the birthday of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Was it reported that ‘Umar, who ruled for twelve years, or ‘Uthmaan, did this? Was it reported that ‘Ali, his relative and foster son, did this? Was it reported that any of the Sahaabah did this? No, by Allaah! Is it because they were not aware of its importance, or did they not truly love the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? No one would say such a thing except one who has gone astray and is leading others astray.
Did any of the imaams – Abu Haneefah, Maalik, al-Shaafi’i, Ahmad, al-Hasan al-Basri, Ibn Seereen – do this or command others to do it or say that it was good? By Allaah, no! It was not even mentioned during the first and best three centuries. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in a saheeh hadeeth: “The best of mankind are my generation (or my century), then those who come after them, then those who come after them. Then there will come a people who will not care if their testimony comes before their oath or vice versa (i.e., they will not take such matter seriously).” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Muslim and al-Tirmidhi). The celebration of the Prophet’s birthday appeared many centuries later, when many of the features of true religion had vanished and bid’ah had become widespread.
I don't think your sister's birthday is covered by Islam. There is no verse in the Quran that I can find that would say you can't celebrate it. A general one that could apply is the one about the spendthrift which would be against birthdays, bu the one about doing a kindness to others would be for giving a gift.
If you were celebrating the prophet's birthday, peace be upon him, then it would be more clear and I could argue that that's a bad idea. As it is:
https://quran.com/16/116
And do not say about what your tongues assert of untruth, "This is lawful and this is unlawful," to invent falsehood about Allah . Indeed, those who invent falsehood about Allah will not succeed.
https://quran.com/3/7
It is He who has sent down to you, [O Muhammad], the Book; in it are verses [that are] precise - they are the foundation of the Book - and others unspecific. As for those in whose hearts is deviation [from truth], they will follow that of it which is unspecific, seeking discord and seeking an interpretation [suitable to them]. And no one knows its [true] interpretation except Allah . But those firm in knowledge say, "We believe in it. All [of it] is from our Lord." And no one will be reminded except those of understanding.
All I could say that it's not really covered. If I argue that it is haram I may be liable by the first verse. If I argue to find how it would be halal for you I may be liable by the second verse. So please use your own judgement, I don't think it's covered.
Also, saying that the Prophet, peace be upon him, didn't do it so it's haram is not a good argument. He didn't drive cars either or use a microwave. Muslims didn't become Amish.
Salalamalaikum
Mashallah, "Also, saying that the Prophet, peace be upon him, didn't do it so it's haram is not a good argument. He didn't drive cars either or use a microwave"?
Firstly, celebrating birthday comes in sharee'ah and cars and microwave don't come in shareee'ah.
Secondly, even if we argue on that, then cars are used for transportation and microwaves are used to heat or cook food, ya? Didn't prophet (SAW) use horses and didn't he S.A.W cook food or heat food?
Salam Yusuf,
Here's where we are right now, we either say that Allah prohibits the celebration of birthdays, or allows it, or that Allah has not said anything one way or the other.
If you tell this sister that Allah prohibits the celebration of birthdays without proof then you violate this verse:
https://quran.com/16/116
And do not say about what your tongues assert of untruth, "This is lawful and this is unlawful," to invent falsehood about Allah . Indeed, those who invent falsehood about Allah will not succeed.
Creating a law that prohibits Birthdays in of itself is Bi'dah. It is an innovation of religion where a ruling is created where there was nor ruling there before. And then it is expected that all Muslims follow the new ruling as if it were from Allah. This is the role of a Pope in Christianity.
I cannot tell this sister that she cannot have a dinner to invite others. I cannot tell her that those invited cannot bring a present. Doing a kindness to others is encouraged so these two things are good. I don't have anything to tell her that she can also then not do it on the day she was born, or the day after, or the weekend of that day.
To answer your question here:
"Secondly, even if we argue on that, then cars are used for transportation and microwaves are used to heat or cook food, ya? Didn't prophet (SAW) use horses and didn't he S.A.W cook food or heat food?"
The prophet (pbuh) also received gifts and hosted people for dinner. If you're willing to use a microwave or a car what's stopping you from receiving gifts and hosting people for dinner on the day you were born?
On a different topic, if birthdays are forbidden why do we do an "Aqiqah" which consists of a day of birth, a dinner for others, and others bring gifts? Would it be okay if she went to her sister's 19th "Aqiqah"? In other words we just call the birthday an Aqiqah and then do pretty much the same thing?
Assalam alaikum,
I agree with Yusuf..
The argument of M is flawed I'm afraid. To say that ruling out birthdays is bidah itself is untrue. We are told not to follow the customs of the people of The Book, ie, to commemorate birthdays.
You also have to respect your husbands wishes. You shouldn't be concerned about 'feeling left out' as your life has changed now and you need to focus on your husband more. Having discord with your husband because you can't acknowledge an adult's birthday albeit your sister's is not worth it.
Forget this non-issue and move on to better things.