Heartbroken that he doesn’t want me
Asalamualaikum,
Currently I am working as a BPO consultant. I have been engaged with someone according to the parents' choice, but my fiance doesn't like me because he had an ex girlfriend and due to some misunderstanding they broke up. We are in contact. I always used to call him by 9 o'clock at night because that is my dinner break at the office, but he won't respond to me clearly. I thought that he might be busy, but this happened daily. One fine day I asked him about it, and he said that he had a girlfriend and that he still loves her and is not ready to marry me. He told me to marry someone else.
Our engagement happened 3 months ago, but the marriage is set for January due to some financial issues. Now my fiance is fighting with me and always hurting me with his words. It's not easy to break the engagement, because my father is a heart patient, and only because of my parents did I agree for marriage.
I don't know what to do. I am praying a lot, so in sha Allah the problem will be solved. But the thing is now he's telling me to marry someone else, and ready to talk with my parents regarding this. My father is really weak and he can't tolerate this. I have so many doubts which I also asked to my fiance and those were unanswerable: "Why didn't you inform me of this before engagement itself?" "Why did you accept me when your mom asked you about me?" "You're ready to talk with my parents, but why couldn't you express this to your mom before?"
I don't know what to do now. It's really confusing whether to marry him or not. If I don't marry him, my family will be heartbroken. It will end with a big problem. If I marry him he won't be happy with me, but I like my fiance. I am really asking dua a lot, so In sha Allah My prayers will be answerable very soon. Because of this problem I am not able to concentrate on anything, please give some solutions.
Jazak Allah.
-Nihar
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Asalamu alaikum,
I say dont marry him. Take this chance to free yourself from him. why would you want to be with someome who is dating other women?If he doesnt like you now the chance of him cheating on you is high and that would hurt you and your parants double.
peace..
OP: I don't know what to do. I am praying a lot, so in sha Allah the problem will be solved. But the thing is now he's telling me to marry someone else, and ready to talk with my parents regarding this
He and his parents should go and talk to your family and explain the situation. He may be telling a lie.
Sister take this as Allah saving you. Imagine if u had married him and then he asked for divorve what would that do to you and family. Thank Allah and wait and watch Allah will bless you with a husband who will love you so much that all this heartbreak will be forgotten IA
Very nicely said sister Nina
Don't marry him, and if you do, you will be heart broken, mistreated and cheated on. I think you should talk with parents. Ask them what kind of guy you want me to have, someone who will treat me like dirty or someone who will treat me like a Queen, please sister even if you like this man, leave him before it gets bad, before you cry every single night, and I promise love will fade away Just talk with your parents if they love you they will understand, if they are selfish than you have do this for your self and inchallah your parents will understand.
Aoa . This is your chance to make a big decision whether to marry him or not. Think if you marry him and things dont work out there will be bigger problems and tension for your family. At this stage he seems to not be interested in marrying you and is not being very nice to you either.He seems to be trying to avoid you and since he asked you to marry somekne else do you think he might be interested in someone else?. If there is a ex girlfriend inthe picture who he is not over with there is a chance she might be in the picture on and off and do you really want to deal with that.There is obviouasy lack of communication already. Be strong and firm and im sure you family will support you.
Asalamu alaikum,
Jazak Allah for all, you all made me to decide something in My life, in sha allah this will change my life, and Jazak Allah ahmed ji, svs, nina, asi, meen, I don't know that things will go good or bad, thank u for all ur kind replies, hope i will follow as per all your advice
Don't marry him, you will lose your self worth and respect by being with such a person.
Stand your ground, FREE YOURSELF ALLAH IS SAVING YOU HERE.
Better to break this engagement off then be lied at and cheated. You deserve better and should have respect regardless.
Salaams sister....
I can understand the predicament you are going through and you feel helpless because of your father being a heart patient. But my solution to your problem would be not to go ahead with this. Its still early days yet and you have not tied the knot so its not as difficult to break off.
If you carry on you will be very depressed and helpless. You will crave your husbands love and affection but wont get it as long as his heart is occupied with the girlfriend he mentioned. You will always feel second class and in his eyes you wont matter as much and he will always throw it in your face 'i told you to marry someone else so not point crying now' thats just an example.
If you tell your dad that in these months you have got to know his characteristics and you are not compatible and dont want to go ahead it will be less painful then your father realising his daughter had been crying tears of blood and is unhappy. Would he be able to take that and then unintentionally you will feel guilty for it.
You deserve someone who will happily be a part of your life and will love you and only you.
At the moment your getting abuse over the phone what happens if you lived with him is he the type to hit a woman?
Please think about it carefully and as there is time to your nikkah tell him to have a chat with your family. No point going along with it if he aint willing to make you his wife willingly. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and it isnt always easy but dont make it into a nightmare for your self thinking it will all get better.
In sha Allah Allah will make it easy for you and give you a solution to this problem. Think with a clear head x
Lots of love
I agree with the readers. You cannot marry this man. First of all, he does not want to marry you. His heart is not in it. Secondly, if you do somehow coerce him to marry you, you will not find happiness with him. A breakup now may seem difficult to you, but it's much better than living in an unhappy marriage.
Insha'Allah your father will be okay. Just break the news to him gently. It won't kill him.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Jazak Allah for all, Am really going through with some big problem, whenever am trying to talk regarding this to my parents they were talking about my marriage and making me to stop from what am about to tell, am not able to express it, another side my fiance, he's planning to postpone the marriage so that my parents will reject this proposal, but that will never gonna happen, In sha Allah i ll try to tell it to ma parents with in this week, thank u for all for your kind response. May Allah bless you all with healthy and happy life for you and to all your family.
asalaamualaikum sister, Did u tell it ur parents??? wat is the situation now???
Walaikumasalam Brother. Yup i told and my marriage has been stopped. Sorry for very late reply. Thank you for your care 🙂
Asalamualikum Everyone. Jazak Allah for everyone who gave suggestions here. at last my marriage has been stopped according to my parents wish. I am very happy that i got rid from one big problem. once again thank you all. Let's Allah shower his blessings and grand us all to Jannat-ul-firdouse. 🙂 🙂