She has a past, should I still marry her?
I've been talking to this Muslim girl in school. We have been speaking about marriage. She wears hijab, prays and is very intelligent and nice.
There is a small thing, she has had a boyfriend before me. She has told me that she stopped doing this. I haven't had a girlfriend or done anything in haram. I'm not perfect but I would like to know the Islamic law on this subject is?.
Thank you,
- S.H
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Brother SH, As-salamu alaykum,
Don't worry about her past and don't question her about it. Leave it between her and Allah. As long as she has made tawbah for any sins she committed, then her past is not an issue. Only consider who she is right now. She prays, wears hijab, and is intelligent as you said. She sounds like a wonderful potential marriage partner Insha'Allah.
Just make sure you approach her in the right way, speak to her family, and don't get involved in any improper relationship with her.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As-salamu alaykum
let by gone's be by gone's
i have a question?
what is the best age for girl to get married?
i have read many posts in this website. there lots of problems in married life and i gotten scared of marriage.
what kind of man do we have to marry to avoid these problems
Seriously SCARED OF MARRIAGE.
Wa alaikum salaam sis. Yes I feel that too, find the whole prospect pretty daunting myself! I think it depends on the person. I dont think we can say 'this age is perfect'. The Prophet SAW advised us to marry young if we can.
Also you have to ask yourself what situation you are in. Do you want to get married? I think after some time young people feel we need a spouse etc, the older I get I feel it a bit more. I think age is individual requirement. If you've found someone sutiable do it sooner rather than later.
Marry a man with deen and character. Find him in the best way - through family, and if familay are uncooperative then through an iman. Dont come near to illicit relationships, even if this leads to marriage when we are in 'love' we are blinded, we cant see potential 'compatability timebombs' or BIG problems which may occur. We think ohh i love this guy, love conquers all, nothing else matters. But it DOESNT conquer all. Not to say that you are/will have this sort of relationship but we must protect ourselves. Us women (well I am) far too naive and simple, so I just stay completely away.
Dont let family/ any1 else force you/pressure you to marry someone u dont like/ someone unsuitable. This is not consistent with islam, in fact it goes against it! So when you;re ready (make sure you have a wali) search in islamic way - parents/iman arranges meeting. Ask the RIGHT questions. Go to lectures to find out more.
Basically look for deen, character in a spouse. Compatability important. You dont have to be identical but you have to want th same thing. Like if the guy wants to live in pakistan in future and you defo dont want to move from uk - you know thats a problem! There should also be some physical attraction between u. Dont meet the guy alone - always with mahram present.
Dont get too friendly. Purify your intention if you can try to marry to please Allah swt - and InshaAllah He will help you. Make dua for the best spouse, do istakhaarah quite early on if you can. Trust in Him. Hope this helps InshaAllah!
May Allah give us the best of spouses and make us patient.
Ameen
Dear SH
It shows she is a decent human being who told you the truth. Let the past be the past whether you didn’t do haraam things or not do not hold that against her as no one is perfect. You must forget and look to the future may allah guide you both to happiness.
If she no longer has a boyfriend, she probably realized it was wrong. All people make mistakes. Try forget what she used to be and focus on what she now is. It she is suitable and you like her, marry her.
Good luck!
Salam brother,
from what you have written it seems like she is a great potential partner and has repented from her past mistake. We know that Allah is the most forgiving and if He forgives his people, then we should also. You never know what reward you may receive in return for this action of yours. In addition, many people have a past and as long as they realize their mistake and do not return to it, we should learn to forgive them. Also, like brother Wael has stated do not inquire about her past as this will only stir suspicion in your mind and possibly even insecurity. Also, this action of yours will cause her pain as she will be forced to remember her past. Let the past remain the past and live in the present :).
i would like some advice 2... plzzzz
i have asked and asked and gave up... i wrote my story and asked advice but didnt get any help... now im writing as i get different thorts n sometyms i cant hide it....
i loved some1 and he love me we talked 4 3 years and decided 2 marry, he spoke to hiz family who didnt agree at 1st they threw him out, i suported hm and then his family gave up, as he was an onli son they bort him back home and agreed.... i told my family at 1st no notice was taken my mum wanted me to marry her cousin and they had decided this i pleaded... cryed... n did everything i could i rote and rote 4 help i tryed getting hold of a wali but no luck my tikets were buked off 2 pak 2 get marid... some one reported to the police and i was taken to the station.... i was emotionally blackmailed if i sed anything i wuld b disowed, i spoke up and they took me away 4 a nite, until later i was told my mother was in hospitle n was serius i decided to cum bk after a day my mum recovered slightly n off to pak i went along jus so i wuldnt b resposible, i had no choice got marid n stayed away 4 6months... my hubbys half frm here and nos everything but sometimes i get this feeling like i dnt wana b here its been 3 yers n iv tryed moving on marshallah iv got a newborn baby but i need help to forget my past i want to no if iv dne anything rong i want the past to go away so i can move on with my life iv started working it out with him as hes reli nice and loves me alot gives me everything i want no mater what it is, my family rejected the 1st proposal because there not wealthy please help
"im confused", please register and write your question as a post, and we'll put it in the queue Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams. I'm so sorry to do this here, but I could figure out no other way to contact you or anyone else. How can I delete a past question I asked? I desperately want to remove it and my account. Any info would be appreciated. Thank you so much.
A., we do not delete questions once they've been published and answered. However, I'm willing to change the personal details so that you cannot be recognized.
UPDATE: I've located your post and changed many of the details. Why didn't you write your comment on your own post, instead of someone else's?
I also left a comment on your post.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor