Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Why am I falling out of love for my husband?

Where is the love?

Salam,

When I first met my husband, he was a non-Muslim. However, he converted to Islam, and stopped drinking and eating pork. He prays 5 times a day and Tahajjud and keep all the fasts during Ramadan. He made me a better Muslim. We are married and loved each other very much for the first three years, but then slowly, I lost feelings for him. I respect him a lot and love him like a best friend, but I don't have feelings for him like lovers. There's nothing wrong with him and when we had lot of arguments, he tries to be better as a person. But why can't I get the same feelings for him as I had before? I know he would never cheat on me, loves me a lot, complements me, and increases my confidence. I feel bad that I can't love him the same way I used to or just like he loves me.

Please help me,

Sofia

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1 Responses »

  1. Asalaamualaykum Sofia,

    You are right in that your husband sounds like a class act, religiously and spiritually.

    What you haven't made any mention of is the time you two spend together in this world, in this life, the life before the Akhira. It is admirable the transformation you both have undergone, but Allah doesn't want us to focus on that alone. We are expected to deal with the challenges presented to us in this dunya, and master them.

    Do you and your husband make any time for each other aside from praying together? Do you have real world conversations during the work day, send each other silly smily faces, lounge in front of the tv together, or go on "dates" out at restaurants or to the park? All of these things would satify the need for intimacy or bonding time, which may be currently lacking.

    By all means continue the praying, dua, and observance of Ramadan and the religion in general. Just don't forget that life itself is also a test and you need to work at marriage to make it a success.

    Inshallah you will have many blessings in your marriage as you two spend more time together.

    Best,

    Nor
    IslamicAnswers

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