Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He’s been abusing me ever since we married

abuse violent physical beat

Asalamo Alaikum,

I am a 21 year old girl living in UK and my husband is 32 years old; we've been married for nearly 4 years. My marriage was an arranged marriage. At the beginning of our relationship (when we were engaged) everything seemed very beautiful and nice, but when I got married to my husband the next day of our marriage he slapped me across my face for just crying due to my separation from my family.

To make it short, I have been mentally and physically abused by my husband since I got married to him. He has raised his hand over me several times,  he has strangled me to death, he has used all sorts of utensils to beat me up and broke my arm with a metal bar.  But all this time I have kept myself quiet just because he is my husband...but I just complained to my mother.

He always used to tell me that he will give me talak for small issues- e.g. if I go to my parents house or to work or even go out shopping with my sisters. In every argument of ours he always used to tell me that he will get me married to some other guy and he will go back home and re-marry too.  He never shared his personal issues with me or tells me how much income he gets whatsoever and never gave me money. All he used to do is give me a small amount of money for the groceries.

What he used to do is go up to my family and complain how bad I am and make up stories.  He once went up to my step-aunt's husband, my uncle and his cousin complaining that I don't fulfill his needs (as a Muslim wife) which was not entirely the truth. Now this is extremely shameful for me as a Muslim girl, as this was our personal matter! But now, nearly 2 months ago he again beat me up really badly just because of a small argument and I was forced to call the police. I did not tell the police about the previous abuse I got from him, because no matter what he is still my husband and I know they will take it too far. Now my family and his family got together and spoke about this matter, and they want me and my husband to get back together by making a compromise to each other.

I have always prayed and always made Du'a to Allah (swt) that whatever happens will happen for my own good. But the thing is that after what my family decided, I have this pain in my heart that I do not wish to get back with my husband. I want a divorce; to live my life by standing on my own feet and focus on my deen.

I really don't know what to do, which path to take. Please if anyone could tell me what is the better islamic way to do.



Tagged as: , , , ,

32 Responses »

  1. assalamu alaikum sister,

    Sister i really have empathy for you and your situation..being in the UK especially there is no complacency about domestic violence when dealing with the police..that is A GOOD THING..sister...i sense your self esteem has been shattered and the whole lot. word to the wise as a sister that is 30 and i have five kids and one on the way...i depend on my husband alot for everything just like you may and many muslimas after marriage THAT ISNT AN EXCUSE TO ACCEPT MISTREATMENT..

    AND THIS STATEMENT OF " HE IS MY HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT?"" SISTER...this is your LIFE. he CAN KILL YOU! you are only 21!! YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO LIVE..eventually the beating will get worse and you COULD DIE. i have lost 3!!! friends they had the SAME MENTALITY!! to always stick around no matter what and work it out...sister..let me tell you , your life DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND ANY HUMAN and NO HUMAN IS WORTH BEATING YOU ...this is an issue..because we are taught as women to be good wives..but that doesnt mean being a punching bag..we TEACH people how to TREAT US! what is worse? you leaving him OR leaving him in a BODY BAG??? and in the uk..he will be out in 20 years..claim insanity and remarry . THIS MAN has no should GO HOME to your family..they should NOT encourage you to stay with him! GO HOME!!! this is not normal it isnt normal! and dont listen to women who have abusive husbands! it changes your personality..when a man hits you..eventually you will feel you CAUSED the problems and that YOU DESERVED dont!! SISTER..this isnt saudi arabia..if he leaves you can get whatever you came into the marriage with..go home.and remarry while you have no children by this man..

    sister if you want..i do have resources in the uk NHS..referrals that can help you get away..even they can hide your wearabouts and contact info with the local police..and put a restraining order on him...

    sister i hate hearing of these things..i cannot even tell you how many sisters i have cleaned the bodies the hospital...who have died because of domestic is never worth it..dont ...listen DO NOT...depend on ANY man for your well being and life...your life doesnt DEPEND of REPUTATION and saving FACE...of avoiding being DIVORCEE..sister your only dependence is of ALLAH SWT.ONLY!

    • Aslaam

      Why do you say "this isn't Saudi Arabia" isn't that a proper Islamic country which implements sharia law?

      • You're joking aren't you? I take it you're Pakistani, go read about how Palestinian, Iraqi Indian Pakistani day labourers are sold 80 at a time into kafilah's to be abused. It is modern day slavery

      • No, Saudi Arabia is NOT a proper Islamic country at all! In fact, it's probably one of the most unislamic countries in the world!

        Saudi Arabia is ruled by a king - so the country is a Monarchy. Monarchy is haram in Islam, a proper Islamic state should not be ruled by a king.

        In Saudi Arabia, women don't enjoy half of the rights that Islam has granted them, under the circumstances in which Islam has indeed granted women their rights.

        Not to mention the modern day slavery, racism and discrimination that is widely accepted and integrated in Saudi society and laws.

        In Saudi Arabia, the laws from the Shariah have been picked and chosen in accordance to what the handpicked Saudi "sheikhs" believe to be in the king's best interest - not Islam and the people's. The laws aren't necessairily implemented in an correct Islamic contect and manner in Saudi Arabia.

    • Walaikum Asalam sister,

      Thank you so very much for your advice, but the thing is that in my life i have never wished bad for anyone even my enemy, & so i didn't wanted to do anything against my husband.
      All this time i have putted all my life in the hand of Allah (swt) that 1 day or other he'll surely will show mercy, & i still do.

      Speaking of 'going home'.. well my dear sister i am living with my family at the moment but the sad thing is that my mum keeps telling my to go back to him & always gives me lecture, telling me how i might have made him to come to the point of raising his hand over me.
      I swear it hurts so much when you hear your own mother blaming you.
      Yes i do admit that i have also argued to him as well & have raised my voice but the thing is that he always made me to do that.

      I used to even go to deep thoughts about how 1 day there will be a time where he will stab me with a knife, seriously it used to make me go crazy & couldn't stop crying!

      But at the end of the day i still have not given up hope & always have & always will put my trust on Allah (swt)
      Thank you once again my dear sister for your caring advice, Jazak'Allah Khair

  2. Assalamo alaykum Sister,
    I shuddered after reading your post, and I am myself in a similar situation, only that thankfully after seeing me suffer for 4 years [and more in my previous marriage] my folks are all supporting me to leave him.
    Your situation is really bad, the abuse dynamics are so similar in every case, it has surprised me - abuse,isolating the victim, threatening them with an ugly future, shame.....they're all the same, abusive husbands.
    I would say do complete tawakkul on Allah, and refuse to go back. Your family will eventually accept your decision, better to stay with them and suffer their dissatisfaction with your decision than go back and have kids who have traumatic childhoods, or die at his hands - whether its a physical death or a spiritual/mental/emotional death....a life wasted.
    I have children and they have been holding me back till now, because my husband has been very loving with them from the beginning, he only abuses me till now. However, the way he treats me is teaching them VERY wrong concepts about how women or others should be treated and that is what worries me the most now. I would say that as long as you dont have kids, you are better off and can walk away much easily. Do it while you can!
    Love you for the sake of Allah, and praying for all the oppressed servants of Allah!
    Allahumma Inna naj3aluka fee nuhoorihim, wa naoozobika min shuroorihim. O Allah we place you in front of them[the oppressors], and seek your refuge from their evil!
    P.S: read the 2nd verse of surah Talaq from 'wa man yattaqilaha''...upto ''hasbuhu'. Insha Allah , Allah will open new doors for you from where you least expect them!

    • Walaikum Asalam sister,

      Thank you for your advice. I must say that you are very lucky to have such a supportive family, I wish my parents could've been supportive.
      My parents are also supportive but unfortunately instead of caring about my happiness.. they care about what people will say.

      I am truly very sorry to hear that you've been through so much, May Allah shower peace & blessing upon you & my muslim brothers/sisters.

      The thing is that i am scared if i tell my family that i want to get a divorce & i don't want to go back to him cause if i do then they will automatically will think maybe im having an affair with somebody else or maybe there is some other reason & trust me as soon as this hit in their minds then it will spread EVERYWHERE within an hour 🙁

      I just wish my family could follow what it has said in islam, rather than listening to what their elder has to say about my situation.

  3. Salam sister, this is not acceptable. A husband breaks the bones of a defenseless woman with a metal pole??? Get out and do not look back. Please. Quran says you dont have to stay with him if he mistreats you like this, so follow Quran sharif. Insha Allah you get away fast and easily. I will make dua.

    • Walaikum Asalam dear sister,

      Yes, exactly.. unfortunately my parents witnessed the bruises & pain that i had in my arm, but they still advice's me to go back & live with him.
      I always follow the things that has been said in Islam, but unfortunately my family follows to what it has been said by their elders back in the days.

      Thank you ever so much sister, please never forget me in your Dua's.. Jazak'Allah Khair

    I want a divorce; to live my life by standing on my own feet and focus on my deen.


    • Walaikum Asalam brother,

      Thank you very much for your advice.. Yes, i want to do that i am truly sick of living this life where it is full of pain & confusion.
      My husband hate's it if i go work or go out, because of him i even left my studies just so he could be happy.
      But slowly he started capturing me & never used to let me do something so i could focus on other things.

      The thing is that i love my family so so much, & if i go against them then they will get hurt. This is why i have been quite for 4 years & also because i loved my husband.
      I just wishh that my family could understand my situation & give me my freedom 🙁

      Yes my dear brother i have taken Allah's name from the beginning & will do forever In Shaa Allah.
      Jazak'Allah Khair

  5. sister do yourself justice. get out o this marriage. LEAVE HIM. you were brave enough to call police, now be brave to seek divorce.I think inside you know this marriage is over!

    • Asalamo Alaikum dear sister,

      Thank you for your advice, In Shaa Allah if it's Allah's will then surely il be able to get divorce from him.
      Yes, dear sister i do believe that this marriage is over, because he told his family & my mum clearly that this marriage is over & he doesn't want me back.
      But i don't know why my mum still wants us to get back together 🙁

  6. Salam sister,

    May Allah protect you from the hands of this wicked man.
    I can relate to you as I was in the similar situation, only I was married for a year, I left my family and moved to Europe. It will not get better dear sister, it will only get worse. The never change! I was in hopes my husband would but in some time I prayed to Allah made istikhara found my passport and ran away. My family was mad but now Alhamdulliah wverything is ok with them. I just kept praying to Allah and He delivered. Allah hu Akbar! Please sister, leave him you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. This man does not deserve you. My ex husband shared all my secrets and even made up lies to taint my reputation and you will go through this but it's a small price to pay. If you stay, you will enable his disgusting behaviour and the cycle will never end. I will pray that Allah gives you the strength to walk away. I'm happy you realize at least this is not right and you are seeking advice and help. I never called the police because he was my cousin but I'm glad you did! This man is sick and needs help, and you can't change him. If you don't have support from your family, you will have to take steps of your own and trust in Allah. Your safety comes first. Be brave dear sister and fight for your freedom, you don't deserve this, no woman does.

    May Allah guide you and protect you always.

    Sister T

    • Walaikum Asalam dear sister,

      I am truly very sorry to hear that your situation was similar to mine, but im glad to hear that you got your freedom.
      To be honest with you sister i wanted to do the exact same thing.. to go far away from my family & my husband. But i was always very scared that what if my parents break all ties from me, what if they never speak to me & what if they get disgraced & humiliated by my other relatives 🙁

      If you don't mind sister but I would like to ask you that after going somewhere else & living your life.. how was it? What did your family do?

      Exactly.., that's what my husband did & still is doing, i swear EVERY single day i get a call from my relatives saying how my husband called them & said so many bad things about me.. they used to be it all true? Did you really do that?..
      It really hurts!!!

      I really don't know what to do, which path to take :'(.. because my family is totally against me & my husband getting divorced...

      Jazak'Allah Khair dear sister x

  7. Dear Regina,

    I read your post and i cant believe these men in this day and age still think it is ok for them to beat on a woman, as a victim of physical abuse i eventually took the step too, my family were not happy but you have to look after yourself sister, no one else... your the one being beaten and hurt not anyone else... no one will ever understand the torment and pain a wife goes through at the hands of a heartless man.

    islam is not cruel, you have one life inshallah given by allah take that step and be free.

    will keep you in my duas for you to keep strength and do the right thing for you.

    so much blessings!!

    • Asalamo Alaikum dear sister,

      Thank you for your advice.. Unfortunately my husband is an afghan (so am i), & i don't know if you know how these afghan men are but they have this mentality that Every woman/wife should sacrifice all their happiness for their husband & do whatever the husband tells her to do.., & my husband is amongst those men.
      I am not trying to say that Every afghan men is like that, but as far as i have seen these afghan men.. they have had the same expectations from their wives.

      I have been telling my family the exact same thing.. that it's my body that is getting hurt nearly every day, it's my heart that is always getting broken.....& its my life that always faces new problems every single day!

      But anyways thank you so much my dear sister, please always remember me in your Dua's.
      Jazak'Allah Khair x

  8. First of all, I don't understand why the police is being badly talked about in this thread. First by the OP for "going too far" and then by Ayatbinthamza for having "no complacency". I mean, what do you actually expect the police to do when you call them about your spouse who's literally breaking your bones, sending you to hospital and pretty much putting your entire physical wellbeing at risk? To sit down with you for a few hours to have a nice, little chat with your husband over a cup of tea and a slice of Victoria sponge cake? The law in the UK, and most other Western countries, does not tolerate violence on women, so obviously, when you call the police - the law enhancers of a country - because your husband is beating you up, they're going to ask you if you want to press charges against your husband, ask you if you need a restraining order on him, and so on. And that's the right thing to do, it's not "going too far"! I don't understand what's "too much" about taking whatever means necessary to protect a woman from an abusive husband. I don't understand the point of calling the police when you don't want them to actually do anything - other than having the police drop by for no other reason than to tell your husband, "now, now, little man, don't do that again, alright? Promise? Good, then we're off again, toodles!". It just doesn't work like that. If you don't want the police to do what they must do to help you, then don't call them. No one has made you do it. It's really unfair to call someone for their help, and when they arrive to your house and offer it, you have basically wasted their time and offended them by saying their help is not what you want.

    A husband is not a husband no matter what, sister. Please don't make yourself believe that, because it's a wrong and dangerous attitude to have towards marriage - especially one that is not right. A husband is meant to protect his wife, not harm her and putting her life at risk. A husband is not meant to discuss his sexlife with his wife to other people - especially not the wife's family. That's such a humiliating thing to do on a husband's part, and I seriously cannot understand why you tolerate and forgive him for doing that. A husband is not meant to lie and make his wife look bad just so that people will side with him.

    Ultimately, it's not your famiily's choice to make, what you want to do with your life. In your case, you're entitled to a divorce, if you want it. And to be honest, it seems like it's the right path to take. No woman should have to live with a man like your husband. Honestly.

    • Asalamo Alaikum Adina..

      Well first of all thanks for your advice sister, but just once put yourself in my shoe & ask yourself if this guy beats me up with a metal bar or any other weapon... what would you do at that moment?? Won't you try to do something to save yourself?? I did that too, but yes at the same time i didn't wanted something to happen to him either.
      I do admit that i didn't tell the police the whole story of the abuse's i got from my husband, cause as you said that the law will not tolerate this kind of situation, so im sure you know what the law will do to that person.
      & as i mentioned earlier to a sister that in my life i have never wished ill for anybody.. even my own enemy, let alone my husband.
      So that's why i decided to keep myself quite, but just to show my husband a warning that if he tries to harm me again then he knows i won't keep myself quite.

      Yes, exactly.. that's what a husband has to do, I wish he could've understood that 🙁
      To be honest i am in dilemma, i don't know which path to take.. If i listen to my family & go back live with him then i know for a fact that my life will be ruined.., but if i go against my family & live my life, then my family's life will be ruined by hearing everyone taunting them.

      Anyways sorry for the long paragraph lol.
      But once again thank you for your advice sister.. Jazak'Allah Khair x

      • If my husband ever touched me in an abusive manner, I would have no problem seeing him in jail and make sure he stays there for as long as possible, away from me :). So sorry, I can't at all understand your mentality of protecting an absuive husband from the police and jail. Again, if you don't believe your husband belongs in the hands of the police, and in jail, why did you then call the police, sister? What was the purpose of calling them when you never intended for them to do something about your violent husband? I honestly don't still seems to me like you wasted the police's time.

        It's not my personal belief that you're in a marriage no matter what, and that bad things your spouse does is a test from Allah. I don't regard abuse as a test from Allah - I regard that as a clear sign to get the hell away from my husband to keep myself safe.

  9. Salaams,

    Sister, it looks like everyone unanimously agrees that this is a very dangerous and sick relationship that you need to end immediately. I doubt any of the other editors would advise you differently, and I certainly wouldn't. I think you know in your heart that what everyone has spoken to you is true, so may Allah give you strength to make the decisions you need to make and move forward into a peaceful and secure life.

    -Amy Editor

    • Walaikum Asalam dear sister,

      Yes, sister thanks to all of my brothers/sisters for giving me such a helpful & caring advice..
      & after reading them all i am now very confident in which decision i should take.

      But i would like to ask 1 last question & it's that.. if my family is against me getting a divorce & wanting me to go back.. what am i supposed to do 🙁
      If i do go against them then i know for a fact that they will break all ties with me.
      I don't know if my mum was being serious or was trying to scare me.. but she once told me before that if i ever get divorce from my husband then she will never let me to enter her house, ever again. 🙁

      This is the most important reason that is holding me back to take any step...

  10. In our religion to give mistreatment and to take mistreatment are both a sin... Punjabi vich- ziyarthi sehni te krni dove gunaah ne! So u have your proof.. Our Nabi SAW has stated to men to treat women as their crown not the dust on there shoes, to respect their women not disrespect, it looks as if this guy just wanted visa/stability etc which hes got, im amazed ur a girl from here and taking this. I respect that as Izzat is a big thing in our communities/societies but hey if your parents love you they'l understand. Its ok u saying but hes my husband.. Why is he not saying- shes my wife, my soulmate, my partner? I pray he comes on the right path as Talaq is what Allah SWT hates, but it is a word made to gain freedom access when there is nothing left in it.. If youre meant to be together u will InShaAllah but if youre not then itsur fare and Allahs will... Just have faith and Trust in Him... He will guide u. Il remmb u in my Duas. Hope all goes well 4u... Just remember- we cant take that decision 4 u.. Only u n Allah knows, thats our problem u c, we cry and ask other ppl 1st 4 advice we 4gt Allah.. Get that masalla out and ask Allah InShaAllah ... Trust me ul get an answer.

    • Asalamo Alaikum Aisha,

      Thank you for your dear advice.. yes, its a shame how my husband always used to tell others that 'my wife keeps threatening me that if i do anything she will hand me to the police'.. which i never said that.
      It really hurts me whenever he says that, because i was born & raised in London.., but i am not that kind of girl to do that, until if the matter goes worse (which happened few months ago) if i actually wanted to then i would've called the police the first time he raised his hand over me.

      But as i said earlier to sister's that i have putted all my faith & trust in Allah.. whatever happens will happen by Allah's will In Shaa Allah.

      Thank you so much sister, please never forget me in your Dua's.
      Jazak'Allah Khair x

  11. Salaams,

    Sister, I'm reading all the responses you are giving everyone who replied to your post. I think it's very sweet of you to take the time to reply to everyone individually; that's very valuing. I feel very sad however, that you have such value for complete strangers, even for your abusive husband, but not for yourself.

    When a woman is being mistreated, she's a victim. When a women is being shown the way to safety and peace and finds reasons to refuse to go and instead continue to live in abuse, she is no longer a victim. By then, she's a volunteer. I understand you don't "wish anything bad" upon your husband. But there's a difference between wishing someone bad when they don't deserve it, and holding someone accountable to acting as they should when they NEED it. Your husband is not able or willing to correct himself, so involving law enforcement is creating the accountability that's needed. Besides that, you are not looking at what you deserve. You have rights, you have needs, and you have reasonable expectations of safety and love. These are no less than anyone else's, and they should be your focus before anyone else. No one, not even family sometimes, is going to look out for these things like you must.

    Doing nothing and hoping it will magically change has been shown to be ineffective. That pretty much NEVER happens. Allah wants to help us, but He often helps us by pushing us in the direction of growth- which means making hard decisions and doing things that are difficult. When we take those steps in faith, even though it seems like we have nothing and no one, He makes ways out of NO way. He brings aid from places we never think of. Trust me, I know.

    You asked me directly what to do when family doesn't support you, how to take care of yourself when you are essentially on your own. I can tell you I know exactly what it's like not to have family support. The truth is, sometimes you have to just fully depend on Allah. Not everyone has a loving or supportive family, and many women even have to take care of themselves with no help from anyone except Allah. He takes care of them every time, too. You have to do the hard work of building your own healthy support system, with good girlfriends, role models, mentors, mother figures etc who really care for you and will be there for you. And even if you can't make that happen or it takes years, Allah is ALWAYS there. He's there more than any human could ever be. It is a hard road and very frightening at times, but the certainty of iman you will gain, the tawakkul, it's all worth it.

    You aren't the only one in your situation, sister. I know a woman who has been enduring a violent relationship for years. She raised three sons in that environment, and though she knew it was wrong and knew she and her kids deserved better she couldn't let go of that hope -that same hope you have- that something will change. That Allah will honor her good intentions by somehow working a miracle.

    What ended up happening was she had a daughter. When she had that baby, she realized that if she didn't make the effort to change, she would only be teaching her daughter how to grow up to be the woman she was. She was going to teach her daughter how to make others more important at her own expense, to endure things that should never be endured for the sake of benevolence, and to accept mistreatment in the name of hope. She didn't want her daughter to be like that- she wanted her daughter to be strong, self-respecting and healthy in body and soul. She knew that the only way to achieve that was to put her daughter before her marriage, and before her husband, and get her out of the sick environment. She couldn't bear the thought of her daughter growing up and marrying a man who wouldn't love and cherish her, only because she decided to stay in a marriage that would teach her daughter that what was going on was 'normal' and acceptable.

    It hasn't been easy for that sister to transition, but she's not giving up. Leaving is something abused women have to do in steps at times, or without plans. There's no standard way for someone to get out of abuse, because everyone's situation is different. But I can tell you that every woman who has made up their mind to get out, and is resolved to do it, and starts looking for ways out, will find it. It starts there. You have to make the intention to put what's right and your dignity first, and seek Allah for the means to get out. He will provide it, because for those of us who don't have loving family or strong support from other humans, He takes up that slack. He loves you more than the kindest father would. He wants what's best for you beyond what any mother could wish. He is looking at your situation and wanting good for YOU, not expecting you to keep disgracing yourself for the sake of someone choosing to act in evil. He is waiting and willing to help you with whatever you need, if you come to Him trusting that He is on your side.

    -Amy Editor

    • Walaikum Asalam dear sister,

      Thank you Ever so much for your kind advice, truly it has answered all my questions!
      And about replying back to every sister/brother whom commented on my page for an advice then i really do appreciate how they took their precious time by reading my situation & replying back to it & it would be extremely rude if i don't reply back to them. x

      To make everything short.. Your advice have truly helped me a lot, because a week ago i read Istikhara for if i should divorce my husband or not, but i didn't get my answer. I thought something went wrong & so i waited for a week & read Istikhara again last night.. before reading it i browsed the internet to find out more about the prayer-Istikhara; it said how people are mistakenly thinking that they will find their answer by a dream- which mostly even if they have a dream..that's the Shay'taans doing.
      It might also be a sign of Allah sometimes.. but my point is that it said how you will see things going against you or will get better for you & at that Moment i realised that after reading Istikhara (a week ago) things has been going extremely worse from my husband, & on top last night my mum told me that she & my dad have been talking about this matter & my mum have decided to take me back to my husband's house either TODAY evening or tomorrow.. make him to forgive me & accept me (Which I haven't done ANYTHING which i should be forgiven)

      Now after thinking about everything & trying to find a solution.. i have Only have 1 option to walk out of this house without telling anybody & live my life properly, because i tried & tried telling my family that i do Not wish to go back to him. But all my family said to me was "You have to do this for the sake of your family's honour & self-respect"..
      I told my mum that what about my happiness? What about my life?.. If i get back with him, I'll be the one suffering, being depressed, hating my life.. NOT ANYBODY ELSE!

      Also after reading what you said.. I feel that i really should take a big step, because if i don't then my mum will take me back & trust me this guy will never let me go out of the house & make my life miserable.
      And i have full faith & trust in Allah, I just hope that i am doing the right thing by walking out of the house, cause the signs i have been getting so far is all connected to the decision i have come to.

      I am really, very sorry to hear what that sister has been through.. I must say she is very strong to still live with her husband & raise her her children in that kind of environment!
      May Allah shower his blessing upon her & her children, Ameen.

      Jazak'Allah Khair

      • Assalamu alaikum Sister Regina,
        I would say , yes be prepared to leave if you have to, but dont step out yourself, without telling them. Refuse to go back to your husband, and if your parents force you to leave, then u may leave, as Allah knows you did not have any choice. But it would not be good islamically or socially to leave your parents house on your own, without even telling them beforehand that you are going to do so.
        If they care about you, they will stop you, otherwise, the One who loves you more than seventy mothers is waiting for you with open arms. He will take care of you:) Trust Him and refuse to go back to an abusive, mentally sick man, no matter what.
        Love and duaas,

        P.S: Sister Amy, LOVED your reply above. It helped me too, may Allah reward you for guiding and helping those who are lost. ameen.

  12. Assalamualaikum, in response 2 ur question my is that let kind of not end up killing you b4 he wil stat regratin it left me he dosin deserv u he not no how to treat a woman how i wander if even pray, pls be wis in d decision u wil b taking.

  13. Assalamualaikum

    Sister Regina,from islamic point of view you have full right to go for khula(a divorce taken by the woman)the guy who has not respected for so many years,how can you expect him to respect you in are living in country where you can take all the help from the govt and being an educated woman you can nicley survive on you own.

    in the end I would suggest you do istikhara yourself and you will find answers to your problems.Insha Allah

Leave a Response